#because honestly... what can you do dsfkl it is what it is and theres rly nothing i can do about this all

[piplupod]

head in my hands. i promise i am not a scary unhinged person fdsgjkl, and none of my silly happy posting is fake, i am just very good at repressing and partitioning things. i can be having the worst day of my life and still enjoy jokes and be genuinely having a good time with my silly little characters and stories i come up with. this brain LOVES to section off shit that is genuinely unbearable (because how else do you live with that? if not putting it in a place where you cannot feel it?) so that i can cope and find joy in life still fsdjkl i simply love having a good time too much to ever make it up

#pippen needs 2nd breakfast #i want to make friends and be a pleasant person to be around so badly but fhdsjkl then . this household hurts me as it is wont to do #and i have a small breakdown here bc it all feels so awful and i feel like if i keep it locked inside and hidden i will actually CrackTM #and then i feel like that is . well. understandably! a lot! for other ppl to see #and it is very upsetting and scary and awful to read. i know. im so well aware fjdskl #but also augh. augh augh augh. i try very hard to not post abt things as much as i humanly can avoid doing so #but i am very silly and fuck up my own rules for myself when i have a particularly bad experience w mother o' mine #i am worried that if i say anything to the effect of ''life is terrible and i am straight up not having a good time'' #then it makes all my other posting look disingenuous or smth. i am literally just posting what is on my brain currently when i post stuff #and oftentimes my brain is like... a silly little swirl-patterned rubber bouncy ball with a happy face on it HDSGJKL #that is like... a lot of my whole deal as a part of the brain fsdfjkl #even with all the grief and upset i can still have a good time bc we stay silly !!!! by god we stay silly through it all !!! #i will shrug my shoulders and say ''ah well what can ya do!'' after getting screamed at or told i'm a disappointment to the family lmfao #because honestly... what can you do dsfkl it is what it is and theres rly nothing i can do about this all #anyways i am talking toooooo much sorry fdsjgkl once again i will delete all this later so i dont upset ppl too much dsjkl augh augh sorry