#between them. how they share a cup of coffee. hawke quietly piling more food onto anders' plate. anders absently holding hawke's hand while

[v-arbellanaris]

lol im almost in tears at work thinking about handers. specifically mage hawke and anders. two mages, happily in love and free from the circle. especially older mage hawke and older anders with grey in their hair, (with. KIDS. ?!), and the vague sense of choked awe from the (former) circle mages they meet. when i was in the circle, love was only a game. it gave the templars too much power if there was something you couldn't stand to lose. no mage i know has ever dared to fall in love. this is the rule i will most cherish breaking. how many of them watched their lovers -- lovers they never held or slept with or even kissed -- turned tranquil, how many lost their lovers overnight to failed harrowings. how many mages kept their eyes shut, turned away from intimacy, out of fear it could be used against them. that they would be used against someone else, their lives ripped away for the crime of falling in love. how many heard the screams of mothers ripped away from their children just after birth. how many heard the sobbings of apprentices ripped from their families at night. and then, to see handers -- both mages, both so fiercely, unrepentantly, defiantly in love. mages who love each other, who have loved each other for years, who will always have each other, when they've never had that before. doesn't it give you hope for the future.

#sorry but handers is The ship. possibly of all time. just. the idea of other mages looking at them and seeing how much they love each other #and the defiance in that love when the entire world is telling them it's WRONG because they're mages #it's a metaphor for something i'm sure but i just. fucking love them. #(they're definitely both a bit freaky but that's like. when you know them. i'm talking about random mages seeing the small intimacies #between them. how they share a cup of coffee. hawke quietly piling more food onto anders' plate. anders absently holding hawke's hand while #he's explaining something. etc etc. and just. the defiance in these small unthinking moments that are UNIMAGINABLE for mages to have #but here they are! having it! they have it! this life is SO possible even for you! ok fuck me up i guess) #handers