#but for physicians it should he obvious even though the neurosurgeon didn't disclose it even just privately to my parents

[threadmonster]

Today (yesterday actually) I learned there is a significant difference between being told by a physician "you're still so young" vs "not that I'm saying 25 is old" in regards to me having had a neck surgery at age 17.

Being told you are young, for me, has always had the implication that I need to take better care of myself. ...as if I was ever given the tools and support to do that...

Being told that "as time goes on and you get older things will degrade/get worse again" and that being followed with "yes 9 years has gone by but I'm not saying 25 is old"

The first one has always felt like maybe they had good intentions but it felt like I was being blamed or something. This time though it made me feel like I shouldn't give up hope because even though I feel old physically, I am not actually old.

#{domino rambles after dark} #i CANNOT sleep because of PAIN #words have so much power #nothing is worse than being reminded that you're so young when you are hyperaware of your age #THAT'S WHY IT'S TRAUMATIC #it's like i literally HAD to have that surgery but i feel like I'm always given a hard time about that choice #HECK my mother was given a hard time about letting me make that decision #i understand regular people not understanding what the consequences would have been #but for physicians it should he obvious even though the neurosurgeon didn't disclose it even just privately to my parents #it's just a good feeling to be called not old vs so young!!! #it's disability month so this feels appropriate to talk about #i got sent to a headache and neurology clinic it's been a really good experience #the phycologist validated my trouble with exercising #it almost sucked to hear because when i could run i actually liked it #but it was amazing to be told due to my health high intensity exercise isn't going to be for me #i should focus on walking or even just house work #anything is fine as long as i'm not sitting or staying in bed all day #i don't care about being coherent i'm using the rambling tag #i'm TIRED but just can't be comfortable enough to sleep #i have a lot on my mind too