#but i figure where else can i pour out my heart into a lovingly enfolding void like this <3

[madamescarlette]

You ever have to be like, "no babe you're not bone-breakingly heart-rendingly sad, you just had less than five hours of sleep"? Yeah.

#lack of light november really doing a number on me this year! #this is not a worry-for-me post btw. it's like that comic of the raccoon advising you to shower to eat or to sleep when upset #it's my last full week of being a student going about doing student activities and i keep doing things going what if that's the LAST time?? #which i've been actively trying to avoid doing because when i left my old school i overdid it and i was actively mourning leaving my place #there for the last six months like someone constantly picking at a wound #and while it was the most beautiful time of my life and it might always be i really regret having spent so much #of my final moments there being sorry that it was final because i just grieved it! twice! #i grieved it afterwards and i grieved it beforehand and i kind of wasted my precious time grieving it beforehand #so this time i've been TRYING to practice restraint and not spend my time brooding and just be here instead! #and not say goodbye to every doorway and every leaf and every brick in the pathway until i'm actually saying goodbye #but it suddenly burst into proper fiery colors on all our foliage over the break and i came back and suddenly it was ablaze #with perfect color and i'm walking around this week with my hand on my heart going oh!!! i love you so much #thank you for sending me off like this!!! i loved being here with you!! #so. tis hard not to mourn. but till then there are papers to write and chapters to be read and then girl has to scurry #and write her daily poem before sleep #so it will be alright it will be alright <3 this i believe! #i may delete these tags later because they might be overshare-y or too despondent and not need to be said #but i figure where else can i pour out my heart into a lovingly enfolding void like this <3 #happy Tuesday tumblr i love you all dearly! #thank you for all your tags today btw I will come back and reply to them tomorrow when i'm a bit clearer-minded #thinking out loud