#but i kinda thot she might just to yk. be around me or whatever :/ ew i sound desperate apologies

[munamania]

ok now lemme elaborate. maybe ill do so in the tags bc my brain is genuinely fried and i need to just let it go nuts

#so. and NO no im not nearly in tears bc of this. i probably am actually but it's a culmination of all that ive been trying to fucking #throw together in a week. anyway. so i go to class all excited im in a good mood im trying to give off good energy #she sits a SEAT away from me again. i left the chair fucking open. i purposefully try to have both open when i get there so that #ya whatever so she can sit next to me. anyway so we talked a bit mostly abt school stuff and then i showed her smth #the thing i was gonna send her yk. bc it made me think of her. and then ya basically our convo was over #and like. i was hoping she'd volunteer to work on the film this weekend and im taking it waaaaay too personally that she didnt #but i kinda thot she might just to yk. be around me or whatever :/ ew i sound desperate apologies #and then she did talk to me briefly as we were leaving abt smth else to try and figure it out for the film #but uh. yeah. anyway like ive been trying to offset me seeming like a dick on accident those first few weeks at various times #bc i was worried i made her think im not interested after she was yk. friendly. and now im like no maybe she was just #never interested altogether and im delusional and also just stupid #ahaha <3 so. yeah #and maybe im taking it way too personally that she didnt sit next to me too but like. idk i thought we were finally past this awkward #confusing stage yk i thought we were kinda like. moving into at least friendship territory #where it wouldnt be weird to sit next to each other? bc we always do in lab and most days in class? #i just dont get her i dont understand #it's so on and off you'll notice i describe her as extremely smiley sometimes bc like #there have been times where i ran into her or was talking and she lit up you would think i was the love of her life #and then there r times like. this. where our interactions are underscored by the debbie downer 'wah wahhh' #anyway whatever i dont even care #abby talks