#but i'm never gonna take the stance that people can't or shouldn't write whatever they want

[rollercoasterwords]

idek if this is actually true but i saw ppl arguing abt the atyd james pov in a tiktok bc its apparently going to include jegulus which deviates from the original plot quite a bit. do you still think it should b called an atyd pov fic?? tbh i just think ppl are making a big deal out of nothing and anyone can write and take inspiration from anything yk?? but i do wanna know ur opinion on this

truly cannot emphasize enough how much i absolutely do not care what other people wanna write in their fics lmao

honestly i think ur right it's just people making a big deal out of nothing. if someone wants 2 imagine what jegulus would look like in an atyd universe then...that's fine. nobody has to read it if they don't want to. i certainly have no place 2 judge bc i included things in my own fic that were extrapolations and/or inventions that mkb likely would not have intended to/imagined including as part of her story. that's what fanfiction is tho! it is specifically someone else's take on a work that is separate + distinct from the og writer's, and nobody has to read it + treat is as gospel if they don't want to. like i honestly don't see the problem with someone writing a hyopthetical "atyd canon-compliant" fic that includes jegulus bc atyd itself is a "harry potter canon-compliant" fic that centers on wolfstar lmao. like do we see the irony there.

anyway i honestly just think that there's a portion of this fandom that is incapable of treating atyd like fanfiction and instead try to put it up on a pedestal in its own venerated category that treats it as if it is somehow simultaneously subject to much harsher + more public critique but also a piece of work that must be taken as gospel within the fandom which honestly just sucks for everyone imo. like people wouldn't care if someone's writing an atyd james pov including jegulus unless they feel entitled, in the first place, to certain representations of atyd fic that match what they view as the pure + untouchable "canon." but nobody is entitled to have a fic perfectly catered to their desires, even if it's an atyd fic! and if someone is deeply bothered and just needs to see their vision realized, then they can write their own fic and ignore the other ones.

#like....there are plenty of hcs + tropes etc that i personally dislike #and sure i'll complain about things on this blog sometimes or more often in gcs/dms #but i'm never gonna take the stance that people can't or shouldn't write whatever they want #bc....hello. it's fanfiction. who gives a shit #also i am not here to be a cop lmao like why would i wanna go around policing what other people call their fics #anyway i just try to avoid atyd-related fandom stuff wholesale these days it's too annoying atp to see people's takes #i understand that its popularity is unprecedented but it is still just. a fanfiction. why would we treat it like it's not #ask

[golbrocklovely]

omg ngl this is the best song kat has released yet

and for the record i wholeheartedly believe kat has the right to make this song. i mean for the past 7 years (or 6 idk exactly how long they’ve been together) kat, and sam too, were under the impression that they were going to last forever. i mean up until they had a conversation early in 2023 did sam break the news that he wasn’t feeling the same way as her so me personally, i feel she has every right to feel blindsided

she has the right to feel hurt about the breakup just like sam does. they’re both hurting in different ways.

kats in her taylor swift era lol

this mini rant is only directed at people who i see are mad at kat for expressing herself

i think i will use this as my post to talk about the song and what i think about it so if this is super long, my bad lol

as for what you said in your ask, i wouldn't say this is kat's best song. personally i will always think her best song is 'blue roses' and 'gone'. i fuck with both of those songs heavy lol

i'm gonna break down this into two parts: first, what this song is talking about, what this entails for the fandom, all that stuff. and then second, that'll be how i feel about the song on a technical stand point (like how it sounds, the lyrics, ect).

i want to make it very apparent that kat has EVERY RIGHT to write this song and release it. she was in a relationship with this man for seven years, she has every right to talk about it as much as she wants, especially while it is so fresh and new. i've already seen sam fan accounts on twitter losing their minds about it and all i got to say to that is TOUCH GRASS. quickly. lol

you are not involved in their relationship, as much as the parasocial bond says otherwise. you don't get to dictate who says what. no one's policing you when you shit talk your exes, don't do it for others. and bffr, if sam came out with a video talking about "oh, i didn't love kat's jealousy" or whatever about the relationship, yall wouldn't say he shouldn't do that. you would eat it up. so, be quiet. just bc it paints your fav in a "bad light" doesn't mean it shouldn't exist.

as for the song, she doesn't even say anything all that bad ! she could have been way harsher and meaner, and she wasn't. all she really said is that he changed up on her and she didn't like that. however, i'm gonna say a controversial opinion that could possibly get me hate: how did sam blindside her? for YEARS this man talked about not wanting to marry until he was in his 40s, or late 30s at least. now, there is a ton we don't know and never will (and i'm not asking for them to share anything they don't want to). but based on what i have seen with my own eyes in videos, he has never changed that stance. so…. when she finally asked him about marriage, did she think he was fucking with her all this time about not wanting to get married until he was old? i'm just a bit confused.

if i'm allowed to speculate, what i think happened is that sam promised and planned to eventually get married to her, but again - not until he was way older. and every year, i think kat would hint at wanting to get married and he would just kinda push it off and say "we'll talk about it later". and after years of her asking, sam finally was just like "i don't think it's right for me to keep you here where you can't get what you want". and that's why things might feel blindsided to her. bc while he had plans, he didn't follow thru when time finally came bc he himself wasn't ready and she was. and if that's what happened, i get why she might feel blindsided. but then again, sam was telling you the whole time who he was so… you can't be surprised when he says "no i was being serious".

but again, that's just my assumption. i don't know what happened between them, please don't get upset with me for an opinion that is unfounded. take me with a pinch of salt and nothing more.

now for the technical aspect of the song: her vocals are great. they always are. my one little gripe, or really want, with her is that if she does plan to do these pop/rock songs, you gotta add some grit to your voice. her voice is too clean to be singing songs that are supposed to be heavier. but that's also just a personal preference of mine.

the lyrics i think are telling but a bit clunky at times. it doesn't flow as well as it could. i think one more write thru would have been better.

and i will have to say this until i'm blue in the face but DEAR GOD ABOVE make the vocals louder than the music !!! why is this a reoccuring issue with her songs? i understand it's a producer thing, so it's not really her fault. but i swear at times the background vocals were louder than her main vocals. it's very weird to me that i can separate the music from the vocals, turn the music down just a bit, and make the song better imo.

also, idk if it's my ears or my age or what, but please enunciate. like half of the chorus i have no clue what she said and i'm just assuming lyrics so… idk.

(and before anyone gets on my case, i literally went to college for performing arts and music. i've been around musicians all my life, and have been singing since i was four. i know what i'm talking about to some degree. also i'm allowed to have an opinion you don't agree with. and none of this is directed at the anon, just in general to anyone reading in case someone really feels the need to chew me out.)

#ask #personal #sg ll

[mayspicer]

This is my stream of consciousness essay into the void because I need to gather my thoughts.

I'm better btw, it's been a wild weekend but most of the stuff is resolved... Now only the comic issue remains. I hate conflicts and do everything in my power to end them but also I have no tolerance for unfairness and being untruthful. And the other person has a tendency to come up with arguments for the sake of them and treating the slightest criticism as insults. My priority is to make the situation clear for all sides and unfortunately they keep proving that they are unable to look at a situation from any other perspective than their own.

Still I like that person and never meant to shame or ridicule them. The goal was to laugh at the situation, not at the people involved. I usually enjoy interacting with them and drawing their characters. I don't want something as dumb as this to make the atmosphere sour. I'm still thinking of a way to convince them that I really mean no harm and it's normal that situations when a character does something dumb and others comment on it happen. I need to think of a way to make things right but that won't trigger their defensive reaction and won't encourage them to keep taking any disagreement with their ideas as grave offence.

We play together in multiple campaigns and different systems. This issue is present in every one of them and is not exclusively initiated by me if it happens. They sometimes take questionable actions they can't explain in or out of game. Some of them are clearly made because the player wanted to do something cool in their head but did not consider the context at all. And instead of admitting that (probably would need to admit it to themself first) out of character, they just go deeper and deeper with escalating and thinking up their reasons as they go. There is nothing wrong in trying to do something cool just because, even when it's out of place. If only they were able to just say that they did whatever because they thought it made sense in their head or because they thought it would be cool or something... I think others would just accept that and leave it, I know I would. But when they keep insisting that, in this case, the action made perfect strategic sense for the character because they can't afford my character to die because he's too important, when two whole sessions of context say otherwise... And when asked what makes them think that way, they can't answer... I'm just gonna keep asking, because I want to know their reasoning if it makes the actions make so much sense. Because the only things I see in the context that I know are double standards and treating me like I don't know how to manage my character. The context that is important ooc is that the player is fond of my character, is my friend and probably did the thing without thinking, or forgot about their earlier stance or whatever. I think ooc reasons can be as much important as in character ones and I wish that player was able to open their mind a little to a possibility that people sometimes do stuff that is not entirely thought out and there is nothing wrong in admitting that.

Actually I think I learned that from some Tumblr post ages ago, but learning to say "I don't know" is really freeing. You don't have to know everything and actually it's not even possible. But admitting that opens an opportunity to learn something new. And this is one of the problems that player has. They have this reaction when presented with a situation or concept they are not familiar or confident with, where they just improwise and make stuff up not to admit they made a mistake or don't know something.

Idk where I'm really going with writing all of this here.

My mistake in this situation was not thinking enough about possible reactions when I got the idea to draw. I shouldn't be required to do so, and the situation resolved in character in a way that made it seem pretty clear but still I could've done that. I am aware that the context I wrote seems excessive when viewed by the people that were present, but I wanted to include everything so even random people not familiar with the system and characters can get the idea. I also wanted to provide every bit of context that made me react with confusion then and really show how ridiculous, silly, but also frustrating all of this was.

I started drawing the next day after the session and there was another different session with the same player later that day. It was a mess and a big part of it was the same player's character acting really weird. This unfortunately prompted an in character confrontation or two between multiple characters, one of which I felt the need to clarify out of character for it to stop escalating any further, because it started to sound out of character anyway. Everyone tried to explain from multiple angles why they are against what that player's character was suggesting but all we accomplished was being accused of dogpiling them and the player not saying a word to anyone other than the GM until the end of the session.

This was brought up when I posted the comic on the discord. They said I can't blame them for their reaction because they are always unfairly criticised by everyone, the above as an example, so it was clear this was my goal here, to publicly shame them, despite me literally writing an apology in the same message with the pictures, where I acknowledge that this might look like I want to make fun of the player and this was not my intention at all, followed by explaining my actual honest intentions.

Ehhh. I hate this situation. I told them I'll try to avoid drawing their characters in the future out of fear of miscalculating again, but I really don't wanna do anything like that. I just want to be believed, to not have some thought up agendas forced on me. The comic was insensitive, but that should be just it. I can take criticism and if approached differently from the beginning I would've probably apologized even more than I did when initially posting.

Fagsgsfafdh I'll try to compose a diplomatic message to them before the next session. I fear they will feel the need to start over from the beginning with feeling offended and their need to argue and win the discussion. They like to respond for the sake of it and endlessly go over the same few arguments after they were already addressed and cleared out. They tend to have a need to have the last word without any care for the actual context.

I'm venting a lot, it's complicated. Writing such an essay about a friend's flaws is not a great thing. I'm just really lost and I want to identify the problems to work around them. I'm not doing this to show how terrible and flawed they are because they aren't, no more than anyone else anyway. I could write an essay many times longer about my character flaws. I'm just going over and over this one flaw of theirs that is the root of multiple different conflicts over the years.

I'm not looking for a solution here really, I'm writing to just get this stuff out. I will approach them and try to act adult or something, which unfortunately includes expecting the same.

They are literally one of the people I like playing with the most. I'm just in a bad place, very bad, even though it's better than yesterday. And I am Polish, I have to whine, it's genetic I think xd

So whining I am and it helps a little.

I hate how ridiculous all of this is. I hate how much stress it costs me, a stupid comic about a stupid situation in a game. That grew to such proportions in someone else's head that now I'm pulled into officially fighting with them over things such as healing my character in a way they made no sense in context.

I want my character to be safe and healthy but I don't want to be treated differently for no real reason. I don't want Cayden to get hurt but come on! It's not about healing but it sure does seem to look like it is from the outside. I fear that this will bite me in the ass and something happens to Cayden because the circumstances reverse and I will be treated differently just in an opposite way now because I get angry when people help me which is not the case. Aaaaa.

Time to sleep. This has been my stream of consciousness. I hope I didn't come off as as ungrateful as I feel I must be, picking on stuff like that. Bleh.

Ridiculous, all of it.

#majek says shit #i really hope none of my irl friends knows about this blog