#but its in a pile. aye. this project is such a clusterfuck

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Me, explaining things in a way that's completely incoherent: I don't understand what you find so difficult to comprehend???

#i think the problem is that something in my brain structures information in a way thats hard for other people to understand #it may be a dyslexia thing. but it is the most frustrating thing to be misunderstood without any #idea of howbwhat ur saying doesnt make sense. like. look. fucking. its right there. laid out in a way that looks like an absolute disaster #bc u would think with as many control issues id b extremely organized but no. i kno where everything is #but its in a pile. aye. this project is such a clusterfuck #this is how my brain collapses. what sort of shape will i b in by the time we finish? (ie my birthday lol) #let's not think abt it. it wont b good. #everyday i get texts and emails and i have to put my head down and take a deep breath so by brain doesnt explode. the amount of psychic #pain i am burdened with when i open my manuscript doc is shocking. #is this my villian origin story? ive lost the ability to not look like im in pain while im in meetings. if u pay close attention u can see #the misery behind my eyes. my boss is gonna turn up the 23rd and b like: ready to go get icecream to celebrate #ur paper and phd accptance? and im gonna b like: i would rather eat glass #if u try to rope me into a surprise party i might walk out. excpet i wont bc im not that much of a brat #theres nothing to celebrate. just let me lay down on the floor for a while #unrelated