#but the secret is that the only aces those people didn't consider cringe are those that just shut up and didn't talk about it ever

[raziraphale]

I'm really tired of situations where asexuality is mentioned like, casually in a way that kind of flattens the definition a bit for simplicity's sake (like just implying asexuality = no sexual interest) and someone feels like they have to jump in to remind us all that some asexuals can still have sex. like cool sure that's a true statement but it rarely comes across as adding nuance and instead sounds like you're saying "remember that some of us are normal just like you". well most of us aren't "normal" so maybe let people sit with their discomfort with that fact for five minutes before reassuring them that asexuals can be just like everyone else

#in the same vein: people who assure non-aces that aces can still have relationships like they do!! #like yeah sure they can but do you need to implicitly throw aro folks under the bus in order to prove how normal you can be? #it's just respectability politics and I think we should just give less of a shit about optics in general #let yourself be unrelable. unpalatable even #it's not on you to make people understand and respect you by sanding down the things they have trouble grappling with #the hatred of aces on this website 5-10 years ago really made folks so afraid to be 'cringe' bc of harassment and it angers me #but the secret is that the only aces those people didn't consider cringe are those that just shut up and didn't talk about it ever #vent your rage about compulsory sexuality a little you'll feel better #reilly.txt #asexuality