#but ugh when a server i've been in for over 10 years doesn't even remember... hurts kinda

[solomon-tozer]

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#it was my birthday yesterday #and it was not very nice lol #hardly anyone remembered and said anything #first time in my life not getting a card from my uncle too #my mother also didn't bother to send or leave me a card which... well okay i guess #she has everyone's birthday in her calendar apart from mine and her own (she detests her birthday) #my dad didn't get me anything either but he did buy some food to bbq and spend a few hours with me so that's okay #then i was just gonna chill on my own at home with the cats but my ex fucked that up ofc #then got mad at me for being upset and crying #so yeah yet to have a birthday where i don't end up in tears :') #i hate this so much i want a do-over #i cherish the things i did get i need to see if i can print one of them so i can gaze lovingly at it #but ugh when a server i've been in for over 10 years doesn't even remember... hurts kinda #i don't feel worth much to anyone at all #rhubarb crumbles #i have not been okay lately (well for a while) lol #i also wish i knew what was going on with my uncle #it's been a good few days and my dad hasn't heard anything back #no one's got in touch with him with news either #but my dad said he sounded really bad and - for the first time ever - scared #i don't like not knowing #anyway gonna curl up bc i'm cold and haven't got anything to eat so it's all fun and games #might watch more terror i was doing an armitage watch #which is just watching all the episodes he's in