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#but we're refusing to drive tonight since that would mean we would be awake for one 24 hours by the time we get back
jedi-bird · 3 months
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My new star wars books have been delivered, just as the rain is starting. They are currently sitting downstairs "decontaminating" so I can start reading them hopefully soon (brain has been refusing to focus on books lately which pisses me off). Family stuff is...shit again. I'm tired and stressed, so sleepy tea has been made and I'm just trying to relax.
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authenticmiya · 3 years
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Alone - Johnny Lawrence x Reader
Summary - Based on the song Alone by Heart, reader doesn’t know how to cope with Johnny putting all of his time into the dojo, and not into his marriage.
Words - 1.7k
Warnings - angst
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The sparkles on your wedding ring could just about be seen as the moon lit up the apartment. Letting out a shaky yet frustrated sigh, the clock was still ticking, except this time, two hours had gone by. Johnny wasn't back, when was he ever back?
As it neared 1am, the debate of going to bed was playing on your mind, but there was no way you were going to sleep without talking to your husband, if he was that anymore.
"Come on Johnny, pick up." You sighed, trying not only his telephone at work but the stupid cell phone that you should've known he couldn't answer.
But not being able to use technology wasn't an excuse. It wasn't hard to keep a promise, in fact it wasn't hard to just not make the promise in the beginning. A knock on the door pulled you straight from your wandering thoughts. Looking through the peep-hole, you realised it was Miguel.
"Seriously kid." You groaned before opening the door. You loved him like a son, you really did, but you were not in the mood to socialise with anyone.
"Hi Mrs Lawrence, Sensei told me to tell you-" He began but you cut him off.
"Don't worry Miguel, this is the fourth time you've had to tell me that he's gotta do all of the paperwork, I get it. Thank-you." The sadness in your tone made Miguel feel bad.
"He's in the Dojo Mrs Lawrence, it's not my place to say but instead of waiting around for him to come home, why don't you just go down there?" Miguel suggested.
"I appreciate that kid, but I don't wanna start a fight." You admitted to the teenage boy, and you couldn't quite believe it because he hardly knew love himself.
"Fight for this love, you're badass." He chuckled before heading back over to his place. 1am and Miguel had only just left the dojo, so who knows when Johnny will be home. After the brief conversation, the time just went by extremely slow, but that didn't stop you from staying awake.
"I’m not having another night end with me being alone." You muttered, and it was as if god answered your prayers, because the keys jangled in the front door, and in stepped Johnny.
"Jesus Christ why are you sat in the dark babe?" Johnny laughed as he flipped the switch to the lights on.
"Till the moment I saw you them years ago, I had always got by on my own." You told him, twiddling your fingers as you sat on the couch. Johnny looked at you strangely, as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.
"I never really cared until I met you Johnny. Nobody cared for me, and I never cared for anybody. I spent years upon years, dreaming I'd marry a guy like you, and I got him in the end." There was no way you could cry in front of him.
"Listen if this is about me and the dojo, I really wanna spare that fight." Johnny sighed as he stood a distance away from you.
"Sometimes I reminisce on the good times we had. Before Larusso, before the alcohol, before this goddamn dojo Johnny." Now the words were just falling from your mouth.
"Don't mention that name under this roof again." He suddenly snapped, and now you had hit the nerve.
"How do I get you alone Johnny? Because I lost you the moment that asshole came back into your life. Don't try and sugarcoat it, please save me the bullshit. You're all I ever wanted and all I've ever had. Ever since Cobra Kai reopened, I don't see you. I wake up, you're not there, I go to sleep and you're still not there." It took a lot of courage to talk to him without getting mad, for nearly every argument that was made, was because of your attitude.
"You will always have me Y/N, but I have a business to run, I'm protecting these kids." Johnny swigged on his drink, also trying not to give you a nasty reaction.
"They're relying on me, they have nothing but karate to help them with their confidence, you would know if you were there." He suddenly came out with when you didn't reply.
"I'm relying on you too Johnny, you know your wife?" You began.
"And here she goes with the whole emotional card. Whatever." He rolled his eyes and turned towards the bedroom.
"'No I refuse to let you do this to me again. We need to talk about this." You grabbed his bicep.
"Every-time we try and talk, a certain somebody turns it into something that could've been avoided." Johnny said sarcastically.
"Yeah and you shrug it off like it's nothing." You pinched the bridge of your nose.
"That's bullshit and you know it Y/N, I don't need to be constantly reminded of shit that you get insecure about." Oh he had finally cracked into his frustrated and angry mode.
"So me missing you is being insecure? Sorry for committing a crime jackass." You crossed your arms over your chest.
"Here she is, little miss childish, once again." Johnny slammed the door to your shared bedroom, now leaving you to decide whether to follow after him.
"Oh for fuck sake." You grumbled, opening the door. He was getting some clothes ready for what you presumed was for after he had showered.
"We have neighbours, you don't need to slam the door so loud." You finally spoke up again.
"I didn't know you could slam a door quietly." Johnny didn't look at you.
"What's going on with you? Please just talk to me Johnny." You felt like begging for a life time. You just wanted your husband back, even if it was just the extra kiss in the morning. But he wasn't talking to you.
"This is getting ridiculous Y/N." He groaned.
"No what's getting ridiculous is that you gradually built a dojo, but gradually pushed me to the side and I'm sorry if you think I'm childish, and that I start a fight with you for no reason. I don't mean to fight with you, we're meant to fight together for crying out loud." Johnny was listening to you but he wasn't responding.
"I never asked for this, I don't deserve this." Johnny stood up, grabbing a towel from the drawers.
"And you think I do? When was the last time you actually checked if I was okay?" Johnny didn't know what to say, he knew he hadn't been the best of husbands.
"Miguel stopped by today, actually ever since the dojo opened he's come by quiet frequently, telling me the usual that you're doing paperwork." You began.
"Also told me I was a badass who needed to fight for this love, but it takes two to fight, and right now, it's pretty clear that I'm the only one even fending for this marriage." A single tear dropped down your cheek but you refused to let him see it.
"I'll leave you to shower." You left the bedroom and decided that maybe tonight you should just keep your space from him. Deciding that sitting around doing nothing wasn't an option, you just decided to take the trash out. It wasn't really a normal thing to do in the earliest of hours in the morning, but it was something.
Johnny felt his heart stop when he heard the front door shut, something telling him that you were going to leave for the night and just not come back to him.
"Shit." He scrambled off the bed, completely throwing the thought of a shower out of his head.
"Y/N? Babe?" He called out, but he didn't know you were only just outside.
"Shit!" He shouted, grabbing his keys, ready to drive all lengths of the country just to bring you back. As he opened the front door, you were just heading back in.
"Please, just don't leave. We can talk this through, you can't leave me Y/N, I need you. God dammit I'm an asshole, I deserved everything you said to me just please come inside and we can talk it out, no arguing, no nothing." Johnny had his hands firmly on your shoulders.
"Why the hell would I leave you? I took the trash out." You told him, he glanced around back to the trash-can noticing how it was now empty, and had a huge sigh of relief.
"And besides don't you think I'd have been gone a long time ago if an argument was the reason we ever broke up?" You questioned him.
"Yeah I suppose you're right, you put up with a lot of shit huh?" Johnny took in your appearance for the first time, in such a long time.
The way your hair was just in a messy bun, the fact you were in one of his shirts and a pair of sweats. The Y/N he had fallen in love with, had been waiting for the affection she deserved and he simply hadn't realised how long she had gone without it.
"I'm sorry." He began.
"This isn't gonna happen again. You're not just gonna apologise and I'll melt into you. Johnny you've gotta mean it, you've seriously gotta mean it." You pleaded.
"Shall we order-" You cut him off.
"It's literally 2am and all I want right now, is to relax. We're both hotheaded and we need to be able to talk about things without getting riled up with each-other." You could tell he was listening to you very intently and without hesitation he lifted you up in a bridal fashioned way.
"This isn't what I expected but I'm not complaining." You chuckled as he shut the door with his foot. The two of you settled down on the bed together. 
"I love you." You told him, the argument slowly floating out of the window.
"I don't think you have any idea how much I love you." He sighed, pressing a firm, passionate kiss to your lips.
"We'll be okay won't we Y/N?" Johnny sighed, draping an arm across your waist.
"We'll be okay Johnny."
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