#but when i thought about my meals i was able to prepare them more amd better

[sereniv]

like its really fun to reconstruct your meals to be without alternatives, or at least cutting out most. but sometimes it can be boring

salad with italian dressing i like. crutons that juat happen to be vegan. but no cheese, but thats fine

sandwhich with no mayo but maybe avocado, still expensive but less, but have to prepare more. not too bad. but then no cheese or meat. but onions and pepper and idk could be done

burrito with vegetables chips and tortilla. no sour cream. pretty difficult because the sour cream adds moisture. no meat and cheese is fine. doable but not enjoyable. as in force myself to finish it

pasta with spaghetti sauce easy. bread but no butter, olive oil is fine enough I guess. no mac n cheese unless using nooch. mac n cheese a bust for me

snacks are nuts and chips and crackers and fruit. i start to get antsy and crave brand name snacks could probably manage tho

no ice cream. nice cream takes time.

roasted vegetables are good. no butter

no butter for rice. makes things bland

so overall if someone were like me, theyd get food but itd be depressing

if they were like me and were able to figure what was most important, and what was more manageable then i think theyd be well off

if they are able to splurge then go for it

for me sour cream is a must but i can lessen the amount i use. sandwhich doesnt need meat. roasted vegetable sandwich with cheese onion spreadable garlic sounds good

butter is a must mayo lasts a while like once a month if i focus on diversifying my meals

ice cream isnt necessary.

i have the time to do this. not everyone does it tkaes effort and energy to change stuff like this

because also, cravings and change and all that can be near impossible to deal with!

thats why you have to always check in with yourself. give yourself challenges this is why I say have FUN

Bc if you dont have a legitimate reason for yourself making these changes it just falls flat.

going vegan was easy. but going healthy non alternative plant based is hard.

i usually go good for the first week and then cave. as in processed foods are made to be addicting.

but im able to cut out ice cream bc after a while i stop craving it, as long as im allowing myself some chocolate like chocolate dipped banana or just chips out the bag.

Sour cream i can lessen bc i love going overboard with condiments lol which saves money

i used to use butter a LOT globs on pancakes and bread and in everything. thrn i switched to olive oil sometimes and also realized i used it in things that didnt need it like mac n cheese

like when you get comfy with alternatives (or the real thing) you forget what you can live without its like you just eat without thinking

i had a friend, and ive heard this in other ppl too- going plant based and cutting out cheese and meat even when they were the biggest meat and cheese eater. and didnt realize how much was just habit

and you never know until you keep at it. check in once a month and think about food

theres so many products that come out and its exciting bc i want to try it. and i usually do

i just got like 7 bags of jerky nearly 6 dollars for not that much. its not something i need or even need to be emotionally happy. so when they are gone im going to try and find an alternative to that alternative like make a trail mix

yknow what makes it easier? actually listing the food you eat as meals. being able to visualize it so its not just going off of what your brain tells your stomach and tongue.

or else you end up eating a whole bag of chips instead of just having a side of chips

#btw i want to eat healthier for myself #im not upset at what i eat bc its good its delicious #but it just feels nice to eat nore vegetables and fruit #and also nice to save money! #and nice to learn more control- not as an ED. control like #actually thinking of your meals. bc rn i just grab anything and i end up even forgetting if ive eaten #but when i thought about my meals i was able to prepare them more amd better #i was able to enjoy them more bc i wasnt just putting items in my mouth. i was thinking about ingredience #and i was able to not over eat which can hurt. #those are always nice times when i do that

[salemrising666]

my depression and health battle

DEPRESSION

IS A BATTLE THAT CAN BE WON

as I pull the petals of this beautiful flower I noticed I had reached the last petal as I muttered to myself im lucky and tore it away from its steam I noticed one small underdeveloped petal hanging on for dear life and I muttered im not lucky and with my bad luck streak in life I thought it was some kind of omen was this a sign that my bad luck streak would never end or was I bein stupid overthinking things yet again I guess we can only find out as I battle my demons.

I sat there for a few minutes trying to talk myself out of this sign that everything would be fine it had to be my luck had to turn at some point hadnt it?

When I was 15 I started having eye trouble and my thirst for sugar had increased dramatically my parents had noticed this more than I had and suggested I go see a eye specialist to sort my eye troubles out when we got there my parents mentioned the sugar intake and they tested my blood sugars which were off the charts high I had further blood tests to soon discover that I was a type one diabetic and because of all the sugar in my bloodstream had temporarily changed my eye shape hence the blurred vision,i was sent to a hospital for two weeks to earn the ins and outs of how to take care of myself with this new disease it was scary and so hard I had never had a phobia of needles but to learn that I would here on out have to stick a needle into my stomach with each meal snack and drink was scary and take my sugars before each meal which would mean also stabbing my fingers scared the hell out of me and I thought why me why now anda lot of damage had already been done as I could have been diabetic for wuite a while before they had found it

I was to face some debhilitating challenges almost dying and permenant damage that would change my life forever things I would have to learn to live with and adapt to such as permenant eye damage agonizing diabetic neuropathy the loss of my left small toe then a further amputation of the joint including multiple procedures like laser eye surgery eye injections eye surgery two amputations the removal of all my teeth due to gastro peresis stages where I couldnt stomach any food throwing it all up losing weight to where my organs were failing and me on my death bed and not knowing why I have neer given up in all these struggles even though I knew oh well eating will end up with me bent over the toilet for hours being labelled as having a eating disorder and trying to convince doctors no this is medical and something was wrong having a feeding tube forced down your throat becausee of these labels and watched while I showered and used the toilet was horrible being in hospital for three months fighting for my life as I never realised how important food was for your body till I was striken with gatsro peresis and not being able to consume it and practically starving to deathi thought this was it this would kill me as nobody could find what was wrong and trying to tell me I was doing this to myself on purpose I refused to leave myhouse as I was ashamed of how thin I was I got down to 31 kilos and there was nothing left of me I was stuck in mental health and was forced to talk to psychiatrists about my so called eating disorder as they tried to help me but how can you fix something that doesnt exist they finally realised months later after leaving the hospital that it was medical from all of the tests I was made to do im still battling these issues today truing to gain weight I have also lost a large portion of my eyesight due to diabetic neuropathy when the blood vessels overgrow and cause permenant damage and the obly way to stop th further damage is to have laser ee surgery to try stop the vessels from growing which worked for a while then I was told they were growing again

so the next step was to have multiple injections over months into the eye to try shrink them which I am still having today as they have flared up again I now have to wear glasses but I can never drive as my vision is that impaired.

Another thing I battle wth is diabetic neuropathy which Is where your nerves send misfired pain signals to your brain when nothing is actually wrong you feel shock like pains hot pins and needles aches and some feeling losswhich contributed to me losing my small left toe I had gotten a blister that I didnt know I had which turned into a foot ulcer got infected and ate its way down to my bones I then got na serious bone infection called ostemyelitis which eats away at your bones they tried a long course of iv antibiotics to get rid of it but it falled and the only way to stop me from losing my whole leg was to amputate the small toe I was terrified as I lay in hospital and the doctors came in to wheel me ito surgery next thing I knew I was waking back up in my ward and my foot was being unwrapped I was in shock seeing my little toe missing they put something called a vac seal on it which helped fill the giant hole I now had in my foot and healed it three times faster than without it because of my compromised immune system from the auto immune disease they think I have that hasnt been even named yet I struggled to heal fully allowing infection bac into the amputation site which meant round two but they were to tell me I was going to loose my whole leg and had two weeks until surgery so as I went home and tried to prepare one day post surgery checkin they told me we are just going to amputate the remaning joint I had a sigh of relief but it was still loosing more of my foot I have had a rough life health wise as there has always been something wrong I have had the worst luck possible so many long hospital trips and now being 27 I just want to be as healthy as possible and live the life I know I deserve after all this grief and I have learnt to appreciate even the smallest of things and especially all the people who never left me in all my struggles and mood swings I am forever grateful for them as I know I wouldnt be here without them although they tell me they understand what im going through they couldnt possibly but I hate that ive had to go through all this and more I hate more the people I love have had to watch me gp through this amd I am usually a happy bright bubbly person but I mean I have my bad days where im depressed and wished all these afflictions didnt plague me everyday and it is also hard as I cant just forget I have these things as they impair everything I do I cant just turn around and be like I dont feel like being type 1 diabetic for a day as I would face horrible repurccusions .

In all this hardship I know there is people suffering out there more than I am I just wish I didnt have to fight everyday with all of this and fight to keep my life I want to just live it and be happy and I know I will get there I will never give up no matter how bloody hard this is or will get but I just wnted to tell a small portion of what I have gone through in my life in the hopes it may inspire of help somebody suffering with anny of these issues and yes depression is a hard thing to overcome but there are always things to help I find art and writing in a journal helps and venting all it takes is that one special person to listen and have your back if anybody reading this wants to chat I will always lend a ear to you so dont be afraid I may look odd and be odd but I am friendly and have a massive heart thank you for reading.

#depression #healthissues #nevergiveup #loveyourself #type 1 diabetic

[fandom-addict95]

Happy Birthday Blues part 1(?)

Happy Birthday to the precious blue boy!!! I own nothing ------------------------------------------------------ Lance opened his bleary eyes as his eyemask came off. He went through his morning routine as usual, washed his face, put in his contacts, do a morning yoga session (Lance is flexible, fight me); Nearing the end of the session his eyes wandered over to the Earth calender Pidge made for everyone. His body slowly untwisted as his eyes bulged. "It's here already?" Lance reached underneath his pillow and grabbed and old, wrinkled photograph. The familiar faces of his family made Lance's heart clench. He caressed the photo lightly as tears began to form, "I'm sorry máma. Your baby won't be able to make it this year." Lance chuckled as he thought back to how much he used to hate being the youngest when now all he ever wanted was to be in his mom's arms, to be able to hear his siblings teasing remarks, to being loved and adored by so many people. The tears started to fall rapidly down his cheeks. He sniffled and took a breath. "Ugh, come on sharpshooter, you're fine. You can do this, they're safe. That's the most important thing, they're safe because I'm out here." Lance took a few more calming breaths before joining the others for breakfast. Just because he was in space doesn't mean he couldn't celebrate with family, they may have theirs ups and downs but he genuinly loved and cared about everyone that sat around that table. As their idle chatter went on Lance could feel the pang of homesickness fade away. But as soon as their morning meal was over everyone started to go their separate ways. Lance panicked, the last thing he needed was to be alone right now, "W-Wait guys!" Everyone turned to look at him confused. Shiro, concerned, asked "Is something wrong Lance?" Lance blushed at the sudden attention amd started to pull at the ends of his sleeves. "Uhm well I mean its been awhile since the seven of us just hungout. Why don't we do that today?" Allura sighed, "I'm sorry Lance but we are in a war you know. We must be prepared at all times. We don't have the leisurely time to be 'hanging out'. Coran and I are going to the library to look over Voltron's past battle plans." She turned and walked gracefully down the hallway. Coran walked up to Lance and put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry, my boy, perhaps when we are done we can, how you say it, catch up?" Lance smiled and brightened up, "Haha yea sounds like a plan." Coran then followed the princess through the halls. Shiro gave him a sympathetic smile, "I apologize as well but Keith and I have been practicing some fighting moves that would really come in handy during a fight and we're not even close to perfecting it." Keith crossed his arms as a tiny blush made itself known, "Yea Shiro's right but you could join us ya know. Get some extra training in, you could use it." A shit-eating grin soon formed which Lance easily returned, "Tch, you can't get much better when you're already the best sharpshooter around." Hunk smiled sadly, "Sorry buddy but Pidge and I want to work on some upgrades for Yellow. You cool with us hanging later?" Pidge then looked up silently asking the same thing. Lance nodded, "Of course dude! I actually just remembered something I had to do, I'll catch you guys later!" He then took off towards his room. As soon as he was inside the safety of his isolated room, the tears came rapidly as he curled up on the bed, "Of course, what was I even thinking. Allura's right, we're in a war. They have more important things to worry about than my birthday. Why am I so selfish, I should know better. Ugh, why can't I do anything right?" His sobs grew as the negative thoughts increased. The cries of a lonely blue paladin echoed throughout the empty castle halls falling upon nothing but the silence that engulfed them. ------------------------------------------------- Hope you guys likes that! If this gets enough attention and people want me too I could write a happier part 2 so let me know! Also this is my first piece of VLD fan fiction so let me know if its any good.

#langst #space family #voltron legendary defender #lances birthday