#cant stop thinking about my childhood best friend since 4th grade that ended our friendship in july lol

[succubi-tch]

#cant stop thinking about my childhood best friend since 4th grade that ended our friendship in july lol #they had gotten really toxic and stared to believe their depression-related neuroses (for lack of a better word) about me regarding him #things like ''she doesn't care about you'' or ''shes only telling you abt her life because she thinks youre useful to traumadump on'' or wh #*or whatever #told me shit like ''im your friend because im loyal and i love you but you can't be my friend because you've hurt me beyond repair'' #even though the way i ''hurt'' them was by not respecting boundaries i didnt even know were there and he never enforced or even mentioned #they existed. not creepy boundaries btw just ''hey im overwhelmed rn can you not talk to me about how overwhelmed you are'' type boundaries #hed never tell me he was suffering and when i asked ''are you okay to do this'' he'd lie to me and say yeah #i keep fucking dreaming about him and his now fiancee every single night man. help me #messes me up that our friendship didn't need to end yet did anyway. fucks me up that hes become so inward with his depression to the point #where hes convinced i never cared about him or how he felt. nothing was and is further from the truth #im going to stop typing now because i feel pressure behind me eyes and i absolutely dont want to do that shit rn! nope <3