#cause unless you homeschool or have literal infants (whole different ballgame) then like…what are you doing

[countess-of-edessa]

baked a cake from scratch, fed the dogs and the father, cleaned the kitchen, wrapped christmas presents. wearing a beige sweaterdress and black ballet flats, hair in bun. reading a profile on hilaria baldwin…the cottagecore tradwife in me is winning i fear

#im being sarcastic but honestly though i keep having the creeping and uncharitable thought of like. i don’t think this is quite as hard as #my mother has always made it seem. and my father is literally zero help and she works really hard but also there was always the not-always- #unspoken implication that the reason the house was always kind of messy and disorganized and everything was kind of chaotic and accompanied #by a distinct sense of overwhelm was because of my sister and I #either our stuff or our actions or the fact that taking care of us took up too much time she could devote to other stuff #but neither my sister nor i live at home full time anymore and when we do at least i am objectively more helpful than anything else #so im like okay well that wasn’t it then #and like i also get that everyone thinks they could do better until THEY get married and have kids and then you see #but the backlash against the pressure for everything to be picture perfect has turned into (imo) a general “relatable” idea that #adulthood and especially marriage and parenthood is nothing but a slide into complacency and chaos forever and like. i just don’t agree wit #that. obviously you cannot live as you did as a single person or a non parent but the prevailing image of parenthood i see advertised as #“realistic” is one where everyone is constantly exhausted unhappy and living in filth #i See a question from a woman asking how to SURVIVE nine whole days of winter break with her children. SURVIVE? wtf? #i do think parents of today spend too much time with their children and that’s part of the issue but also like. i cannot believe that #everything is as thoroughly and completely awful as it is pretty much always portrayed nowadays #and how i see it reflected at me. and this isn’t like a housewives don’t work aaaa thing because no. #but like. when i see people being like you can’t expect your sahm to get the laundry done OR dinner made OR the house clean on a consistent #basis EVER i am kind of like…..but literally what are you doing then if none of those things?? #cause unless you homeschool or have literal infants (whole different ballgame) then like…what are you doing #maybe an unpopular opinion but I think a lot of women are bad at being housewives. because it is a skill that women used to study and learn #and now it’s not but it’s still the most important job in society #so we took away all the instruction manuals for the backbone of society and now who comes the closest to approximating an educational resou #? influencers. which is horrible because any person you are taking advice from on Instagram is someone with a public Instagram account #which automatically makes them odd and untrustworthy and not someone at least I would want to emulate. #my mother doesn’t apply to this she is a great homemaker her issues are (1) time management (2) fatigue (3) starts too many projects #but i digress #i suppose i shouldn’t say that I reject the idea children turn your life to chaos because I don’t. but I do reject the idea that #the chaos of parenthood sentences everyone to a perpetual state of overwhelm and reactivity #that simply has never been the case for people in any time period before now even when raising children and the daily business of living wa #far more labor intensive