#ch: orion quinn

[lavampira]

just breathe

lux kennedy x orion quinn. pre-infamous. 1.5k words. cw: smoking. [ao3]

Lux has lost track of how long they’ve been trapped in the booth. The windows in the exterior room had already gone dark with the setting sun, giving them nothing to guess at the time of night. Whoever decorated the room apparently decided that recording artists didn’t need to know the time either, considering the lack of a visible clock anywhere in sight, and with their phone still buried in their jacket in the other room, they remain uncertain of it in their own personal hell with a producer staring them down through the glass and a microphone in their face.

Their voice breaks on their sixth attempt to land a note for the bridge.

The little red recording in progress light turns off.

“Do not say that it’s okay again,” Lux warns before the producer can lean into his own mic, watching the man’s eyes widen almost comically as he hesitates mid-motion to do exactly that. “It isn’t.”

Maybe they’re acting a little melodramatic. But after who knows how fucking long they’ve been trying—and utterly failing—to match the vocals that they wrote themself, they figure that they’re allowed. The producer repeatedly trying to placate them in a faux soothing tone like a cornered wild animal really, really doesn’t help.

A frustrated noise rips from their throat as they rub their palms over their face. It shouldn’t be so hard to duplicate. Interviewers have referred to them as a dramatic tenor, able to soar to a clear run from a raspy lower range, expressive of the emotions in their lyrics. But all they’ve shown tonight is that the bridge is kicking their ass.

“Let’s take a pause on the bridge,” the producer finally says. “We’ll come back to it after some work on the guitar.”

Humiliation swells through them at being pulled out of the booth, and it must show on their face because Rowan catches them at the door, clapping a hand to their back in support on his way past them. Lux doesn’t stick around to see if any of their other bandmates are shooting them pitying glances. They move for the exit, needing to get out of there to clear their head.

What starts as aimlessly wandering the studio eventually leads them through a side door outside the building. It's a habit, really. They often slipped away from their manager to sneak a cigarette or two at a time during their last album, winding up at this exact spot each time for a moment of quiet, slouched against the wall with a knee bent where they rest an arm, or at least as quiet as the city can get.

Which is why they aren’t entirely surprised when the door opens not long later and their manager steps out with them.

Lux twists their head to take a cautious look at the man towering over them. Haloed by the building’s exterior light behind him, Orion still appears as pristine as ever, dressed down to his waistcoat and sleeves immaculately rolled to his elbows as he folds his arms over his chest, only his tousled black hair out of place despite the hour. A fleeting thought passes of what it would take to make him look rumpled, but it treads on dangerous territory.

Orion glances at the lit cigarette between their fingers, and they brace for the lecture on why a singer shouldn’t smoke as a pinch forms in his brow, but it never comes. Somehow, it makes Lux feel worse to know they’re struggling so badly to record that even their uptight manager is pitying them, too.

“I’m trying,” they say in lieu of a greeting.

If he hears the pathetic crack in their voice, Orion graciously doesn’t acknowledge it. “I know.”

“I don’t know why I can’t get it right.”

“You will, Linden. You always do.”

Orion Quinn doesn’t do pep talks. He isn’t that sort of manager, not when he can push their band to meet higher and higher standards, every compliment met with critique. They know that he believes in them, but he also believes that they can be better, too. Rather than extending any of it to Lux, though, it’s that use of their real name that grounds them, his simple faith in not only the band, but them, from a man not satisfied by only good enough that relieves some of the tension that has been gripping them all evening.

They take a final drag before stubbing out the cigarette. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Know what to say to help.”

“It’s my job to know my clients,” Orion returns after a prolonged moment, and before that statement can ring hollow in their chest, he adjusts his slacks to comfortably squat in front of them. “You’re stuck in your head. You start to focus on things going wrong, and when that happens, you end up in a frustrated work cycle.”

“Like you.”

Lux stills, realizing that actually left their mouth. It seems to catch Orion off guard as well, judging by the way his lips twitch as he stares at them, but then the briefest laugh escapes him, a singular and soft ha that he can’t quite hold back and echoes in the alley. Part of Lux mourns the fact that none of the others are around to see it, but at the same time, they desperately want to bottle this moment to hoard it for themself alone, and maybe try to get that sound out of him again.

“That may be true,” Orion admits, his throat bobbing as he swallows, but then business mode returns, his face smoothing back into his usual sense of control while he rises to his full height. “You have the talent, Linden. But if you keep telling yourself that you can’t do it, then you’ll fail.”

At first, all Lux can manage is a shaky breath. Then a nod. And then they clamber back to their feet, dusting off their jeans from sitting on the fucking ground, somehow resolved to face down the producer and the recording booth again.

Orion allows them to lead the way through the winding halls back to the room that was booked for the band. They consider asking if he thinks that they’ll bolt, but considering his usual approach to the band, they don’t really want to know the answer to that question, especially after he did just hunt them down from their preferred hiding spot in the first place.

Pausing with their hand on the door, Lux shoots him a smirk over their shoulder. “You know, Orion, we may have to keep you as our manager.”

“Glad to hear it,” he returns dryly.

All eyes are on them when they walk back into the room, but it isn’t as heavy now. The recording sign is off while Rowan tunes his guitar in the booth, so Lux wanders to the small couch where Devyn and Iris have settled practically in each other’s laps, their knees hooked together, and perches on its arm. Their gray eyes track Orion as he moves to sit with the producer, but a hand light on their back draws their attention.

Devyn offers them a soft smile. “All good?”

“Sure fucking hope.”

The producer counts before either of them can say much else, and then the red light is on, silencing the room for Rowan to play. The transition into his solo is smooth, exactly what Lux has known he could do for the song. But then it’s finished, and the producer tells him that he can leave the booth, and tendrils of dread unfurl in their chest when they get signaled to go back in, too.

Lux takes their time. Standing in front of the microphone, they untie the ribbon from their long silver hair only to tie it back into a loose ponytail again, hesitating with the headphones in hand. They glance at the window, catching their manager’s eyes on them and the steadfast look on his face.

Orion leans into the exterior mic, hesitating as though he’d pressed the button before fully formulating his thought, but then he says, “Just sing, Linden. Don’t think.”

The producer counts down as Lux settles the headphones over their ears. This is what they have wanted to do for their whole life—Orion is right, they need to just do it. When the sign goes on, they draw in a ragged breath, and then they pour themself into the song, letting themself get lost in the same emotions that led them to writing it.

They opt to start from the second chorus prior to the bridge this time, building up to it with a grittier tone as if the feeling has grown rougher with lyrics, and it carries into the exact raspy whine that they’d been aiming for on the section. And when they reach the bridge, their voice doesn’t break.

It fucking soars.

The entire room falls silent once they stop singing. No one moves until the producer ends the record, but once the sign turns off, the door bursts open for their band to barrel into the booth. Rowan reaches them first, nearly tackling them as he throws his arms around them. Devyn reaches for their hand to squeeze, Iris playfully smacks their shoulder, and Jazzy absorbs them all into an even bigger embrace. Looking past all of them, Lux finds Orion still on the other side of the window, gathering papers with the slightest upturn in the corners of his lips while tucking a file under his arm.

#the title is a song reference. but it fits the emotions here. anyway #pls clap idk how i managed to write this much in one day #dani writes things #if: infamous #fic: infamous #oc: lux kennedy #ch: orion quinn #lux/orion #infamous if #infamous mc

[marlaluster]

Emptying the cliptray on the new phone. ....

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