#cliche im just exhausted and not making any sense or articulating anything well. also i say im so scared but i actually feel deadly calm

[pepprs]

ok. i have got to stop doomscrollimg i came on here to doomscroll i don’t feel any better after having done it and it’s not even helpful to me or to anyone (duh and duh and duh). but fucking hell

#purrs #it’s moments like these where i doubt my ability to do the work i do so much. because if my hope and belief and sense of the great golden tr #truths of the world falters even slightly then how can i be effective in helping ppl to draw from their stories and liberate themselves and #each other and build thriving communities etc etc. like this is so scary and im scared but also scary things happen every day and some of #them i end up experiencing the consequences of and most of them i don’t or they’re so vast or im so young that i can’t even fathom it. idk b #but is being alive like just you wake up and you have to burn thru a million things while the world burns all around u. that sounds so clich #cliche im just exhausted and not making any sense or articulating anything well. also i say im so scared but i actually feel deadly calm #rn but also there’s this ache freeze in my veins or something which is fear it’s just im calm and normal about it lol. it’s like what wendy #Willis said about when shit like this happens you wonder if anything you’ve ever done in your life to try to make things better has been all #wrong and like you’ve missed your chance and the world is burning etc. literally i read that last night for my lit review and here we are 24 #h later LOL. but i know i haven’t and no one has it’s just this is scary and everything is disempowering. but we have each other and we will #get thru and build a new world or whatever. idk everything i say sounds cringe snd derivative im so tired i have to go to bed #delete later #this particular topic is painful because i wouldn’t exist without it and neither would my entire immediate family basically. lol