#closeted in quotes cuz. well. look at her stupid fucking (unwashed) ass. anyway. IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK 2 MONTHS LOL THNK U 4 ASKING THO <33

[jwowwsboobs]

max is soooo fucking real for the nasty adidas hightops i have a pair like that too and they r the best shoes in the world..

anyways wanted to ask abt jack. why do u think she was the way she was? like what drove her, etc etc

i love this question and im SOOOOO sorry it took me for fucking EVER to spit this shit out but I had to think abt it. no read more scroll fast idgaf

jacks personality is full of contradictions. she was both impossibly overconfident and self-assured and cripplingly insecure; frighteningly unpredictable while simultaneously seeking stability and working to sabotage it; paranoid of betrayal and abandonment while treating her friends like shit...and all of these things are compounded by her intense and long-lasting (well. comparative long lasting its not like it was a 20, 30, 40+ year...) struggle with substance abuse and unknown, untreated, unacknowledged, whatever, mental illness(es?). I think the simple answer is that she wanted to feel complete and accepted. which she never did! but the long answer...is not quite that simple

jack's parents divorced when she was about 3...growing up she n her mother moved around a lot. i think the longest she n her mother stayed in one city/town was like. 10 months. she was a total tomboy! hated hated hated skirts n dresses. she was always a troublemaker, always very aggressive. she never had many friends growing up cuz she would just suddenly have to leave them, and she eventually figured out that it was easier to just. not make friends with people. had difficulty getting along with peers n got into fights a lot (which continued into her adult life), probably because of that. she never did well in school, likely thanks to her frequent moves and energy/aggression. she never learned to read very well (she was likely more functionally illiterate than truly illiterate but still stands. she cannot read or write very well.)

as she got older, and her peers began expressing interest in "romance" and "boys" and she had no interest in men or whatever (look, I think that any way of trying to put it will sound stupid as shit so bear with me here) it became even more difficult for her to relate to her peers. was she teased for it? probably. did she beat people up over romantic slights? absolutely. but her interest at the time was the emerging heavy metal and (punk) rock and tht took precedence over literally everything else. she got into black sabbath when she was 12/13 n punk thanks to the sex pistols when she was abt 13/14 n motorhead around the same time. motorhead really sparked her love for heavy metal, but venom was her favortie! she started playing guitar after hearing sabbath. with motorhead and punk she found something close the speed and aggression shed been .. not struggling with but feeling I guess, her whole life but it wasn't enough. when she found venom, it was much closer to what she...felt like. but that was 81, 2 months after moving to southern california! in 78 when she found punk and motorhead, she started going to seedy sketchy bars and clubs and parties, joined and quit bands, and started drinking, a habit she was never able to quit. her mom kicked jack out when she was about 15/16 and had dropped out of high school to literally do nothing but practice guitar, and she basically couch surfed on bandmates' couches and at groupies' houses, until eventually moving to southern california and eventually meeting gale. she moved in with gale after joining artery the sumer of '82. and I guess the rest is...not history but covered pretty well elsewhere on this blog! 

but why would she play guitar? why not just do all the drugs available to her and fucking die at 17?

the only reason I can come up with is that she didnt feel like the music was extreme enough to really convey how she felt. she didnt feel that it was fast enough or aggressive enough or frightening enough and decided that she would be the one to bring the speed and extremity to metal! and in doing so that would legitimize her place as a women, and a "closeted" lesbian dyke in metal and she wouldn't feel so...unhappy. so I think thats what drove her. I think eventually she hit a wall and playing guitar just wasn't enough anymore and thats wht killed her. so i would say thats what drove her.

#closeted in quotes cuz. well. look at her stupid fucking (unwashed) ass. anyway. IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK 2 MONTHS LOL THNK U 4 ASKING THO <33 #<333 much love angel this was so fun 4 me 2 think abt #frank #artery tag #jack #asks