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gulescamisade · 7 years

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Minnesota: Day 7

[At some point during the night, or day -- it'd be indistinguishable to jake -- a voice speaks to him over an intercom.] ????: hey jami 2.0 u think u can do that pumpkin trick again?

JAKE: -snoring in a bed made of pumpkin patch on the ground. As an unfamiliar voice echoes overhead, he snorts awake. Jolting upwards with leaves in his hair. Also accidentally summoning 3 more pumpkins as he had fallen asleep practicing and all.-

JAKE: Hoosit?? -blink blink. He's AWAKE.-

????: eelmao

????: conchgrats buoy u did it

????: cept i kno u aint even got a grip on whatebber the fuck u doin

????: but i dont need u to

JAKE: -sitting there mouthing the words like eel-aye-em-oh and squinting. He feels... inexplicably chilled to the bone.-

JAKE: (Doh... now i have a bad feeling about this.)

JAKE: I dont suppose... this is all to do with a ploy to get some unmentionable dirty work dished out and done with? But why speak to me now?? Are you to level with me in some sense of the word???

JAKE: Why drag it out like this??? If you could do anything. Why not make me a mindless drone like dear sweet jade and jane?????

)(IC: cuz i dont wanna fuck w u small fry

)(IC: the gills are smart

)(IC: they aint barely need no direction

)(IC: give em a goal and they on cuz they know what the fuck is up

)(IC: u tho? alwaves wadin thru ur lil guppy emoceans

)(IC: makin some dumb ass pumpkins grow

)(IC: the fuck even is that

)(IC: do u even know what yoar capable of sonfish

JAKE: -takes the deepest breath of his life, his heart thudding like an iron clad weight. He can't see her face, he only knows her voice is there. Green eyes wide and fearful as he slowly rises to stand.- Im...

JAKE: I know somehow. Some way.

JAKE: Maybe it wont happen today or tomorrow. But my capabilities say that you are going to pay one pretty penny for the horrible things youve done.

JAKE: Mark my words. Its not me who should be afraid when at the end of all of this... -His face is now screwing up, visualizing everyone this war has ruined. Their wishes, hopes, dreams. The energy seems to charge in his veins, making the air around him hot enough that the pumpkin vines at his feet begin to shrivel.- At the end of all of this....

JAKE: Youre just going to be a scary story people tell their kiddos at night!!!!! A LAUGHING STOCK. HAH. Worse than me and ive never had a dignified moment in my fucking life!!!! And not a SOUL is going to be sorry youre GONE.

JAKE: SO FUCK WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE IN STORE FOR ME YOU FISH FRIED CURISH VARLOT!!!! FUCK IT THIS WAY AND TO HIGH HELL WHEN ITS WHAT I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU THATLL BE WHATS FUCKING WHAT.

JAKE: Ill do it for jade! And jane and grandma and--- EVERYONE. Everyone youve fucking ruined with your vile reign of TYRANNY!!!!!! -This FIELD around Jake cannot be contained in this box of a room. Hell. The metal walls are beginning to bend with just these few seconds of intensity. Somebody do somethin'.-

)(IC: -LOW WHISTLE into her mic. she doesn't sound perturbed by his threats, or even by the damage he's doing. there's always more rooms she can put him in... maybe even make his lil friend roxy make him a nice box to hide in. she's definitely got more focus then this one...-

)(IC: im all aboat that reel glowy shit u got goin there

)(IC: but i know i can werk it betta

)(IC: anywave im board and i got shit to do

)(IC: goodnight BITC)(

[SNOP. Unfortunately for Jake, repressing magical/emotional outbursts is easy when she has the concentrated abilities of a cerulean at her disposal. But fortunately for him, she can only really put him to sleep, being a human and all... Also fortunately for him, she has the attention span of a gold fish and intends to let him dangle a little bit longer before experimenting on him as she intends to... Or maybe she's just having fun with him. Who knows.]

JAKE: -A lot of fortunates and a lot of unfortunates. It's always the seed of belief that matters.-

JAKE: -Passes clean out in the center of his cell, totally ready to write this off as some kind of fever dream... if it's not for the melty edges of the walls around him. This was exciting as it was frustrating.-

---

[Today when Jake wakes up, he will find himself redressed in tiny red shorts, red suspenders, and a big red bow tie. ur whalecum jami 2.0 ]

JAKE: -stirs awake before promptly looking down at himself.- ................................... SON OF A BITCH.

ROXY: =She couldn't help but to notice that Jake had gone missing. Which is unsettling for many reasons so she's taking a leap and exploring more even without the invisibility cloak from the void. Roxy blips out of her room, landing in the hallway and silently makes her way down it. Time to snoop!=

[It's quiet in these holding chambers with Jake and the Cherubs gone, leaving on Roxy and James who is presumably still keeping silent. At the end of the hall there is a door, and she'll find it isn't locked.](edited)

ROXY: =WHERES CALLI YOU MONSTERS?? SHE'LL FIND YA CALLI. She opens the door slowly and peeps in... if the coast is clear here comes a stinky, sweaty escaped prisoner. Where's your information?=

[The door opens up to an open room, on either side there are windows show casing labratories of some kind. It isn't entirely clear what kind of work is being done in them from where Roxy is standing. At the end of the room there's another door, but shee can also see more doors inside the labs.]

ROXY: =Hm.... can she see computers in there? She decides to get close to one window and peer in. Nerds might be at work in there...=

[There's definitely computers and lots of mechanical equipment and various tech projects half completed on the tables. The lights are low right now so there doesn't seem to be anybody working at this time.]

ROXY: =SCORE. She doesn't want to waste all her gas there has to be a way to get in there..... maybe this door at the end of the room will get her where she's going. Quietly scampers=

[This door is also open, CONVENIENTLY. It leads to another hall, and to either side of where Roxy stands are, presumably, the doors to the labs.]

ROXY: =BITCHIN, HERE COMES HER. Lab number one she's gonna prob ya! KICKS DOWN THE DOOR..... quietly. With her hand=

[As she enters, the lights TURN ON!! And that's about the extend of what happens there. She'll see all the computers have aquarium screen savers but all the fish are glittery and/or have blingee'd accessories like gold chains and shutter shades.]

ROXY: 😒

ROXY: =This is a lab so she sprays disinfectant on the computer before goin to HACK=

[It just so happens that whoever used this computer last forgot to log out of their account... They have photoshop open and there are photos of Jake. He's in red booty shorts and suspenders and he's lookin' like D8< but whoever was doing this photoshop job is trying to make him look a little happier... Like he's cheering instead of like he's about to punch the photographer in the face.]

ROXY: =Oh well shit..... oh. Well.. she. Snrk. Sorry but also ok. Where was this taken? Does it say anything about that? WHERE'S JAKE YOU COMPUTER=

[Without much looking she will first find a folder full of unedited photos of Jake from his new cell. Dank and dreary, much worse then the cells they were in before. Only a bed and a medical tray table. Another folder with the edited photos reveals these are being used for magazine covers and spreads. It seems Jake is being used as Crocker Corps POSTER BOY. Look at this well fed and obedient (?) human.]

ROXY: =OH HOW DARE!? Are there any OTHER people here computer? Like Dirk or Mom or ANYONE ELSE? WHO ALL AM HERE?=

[The computer thinks Roxy expects too much from it. At least from this account on the server. It's only been used by a humble tech intern who edits pictures in photoshop. His name is Maxwell.]

ROXY: =What a fuckin nerd Maxwell is can she HACK to find out... or would that take too much time.... it probably would so she legs it to the other lab=

[The other lab has lots of cabinets and coolers containing samples of various things... Some of which she might recognize as GLOWING MUSHROOMS and ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER. The kind of research they do in here might be a little more obvious...]

ROXY: =Finally putting Sweet-n-low out of business she sees, good. But she's scrunching up her nose and looking for anything useful or recent? =

[Or perhaps they were behind the Sweet-n-Low game all along! In any case, if she dares to try confiscate some of the mushrooms or any of the extracts lying around, she might be able to try using it for its hypnotic properties. Otherwise, there's mostly just experiments with food and chemicals being done in this lab. Sadly no clues of friends.]

ROXY: =God dammit. Well shucks she blows this popsicle stand and goes on a hunt for Jakey boy or Calliope!=

[Back in the hall, on the other side there's yet another door but it's more heavily sealed then the others with some kind of keycard lock, but with little indication of what's on the other side. At the very end of the hall is an elevator, also requiring keycard access to use.]

ROXY: =this might be where its unavoidable. UNA-VOID-ABLE. She bets this heavily sealed door is something GOOD. She's going to take a quick peek in there if she can poof in!=

[There's a growling around these hallways... sounds like something or someone might be prowling around.]

[The room Roxy has poofed into seems to be some kind of observation room. There's a couple screens on one wall with a panel beneath -- one screen is showing the room Jake is being held in (where he's either sleeping among his pumpkin patch or being rowdy...) while the other screen is shut off.]

ROXY: =zoinks! Growls are bad news. She hurries and tries to see if she can turn on the other screen or find where exactly the room holding Jake is? GO GO GADGET STUBBY FINGERS=

[MAIN SCREEN TURN ON. She manages to get the other screen running, but it's only showing an empty room with a bed... With unsettling stains of red and green on the sheets.]

ROXY: ..... =Bruh tf?? She squints and that can only mean bad news. Does it say where these cameras ARE? She should make her way downtown and quickly!=

JADE: -zaps into the room- BARK!!!

ROXY: !!! =JUMPS= FUCKIN'--- oop.....

ROXY: ..................

ROXY: ...........

ROXY: this isnt the bathroom wtf

JADE: -LUNGES AT HER!!!-(edited)

ROXY: !! =BLIPS, or tries to back for the door. tHESE ARE SOME STRESSFUL SECONDS IN THE VOID=

JADE: -gdi. She claws around the empty space, growling.- ill find you!!!

ROXY: =She pops on the other side of the door really and is booking it down the hall, back the way she came. NAH. NNNNNAAAAAHHHHH=

JADE: -there's the sound of BOOFing and scrambling feet behind her-

ROXY: =fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, what to do, gotta think gotta think gotta think. Where can she hide? She doesn't KNOW this place. UUGHHHHHHHH! She's doing her BEST here just, SLAPS a pen holder off a desk she runs by FUCK THIS SHIT, YEET!=

JADE: -BORK BORK BORK BORK!! The pen holder jostles her, but not enough to stop her. RIP pen assortment...-

ROXY: =Can she.... throw a stick??? BLIP, pops a stick into existence. A SNAUSAGE STICK chucks it down the opposite hall= FETCh!

JADE: -DAMN IT. HER WEAKNESS.-

JADE: -stops and grrs... her programming is conflicted-

ROXY: =Oh shit..... CHUCKS ANOTHER ONE= go on girl! tasty tasty!!

JADE: grrr... JADE: -RUNS AFTER IT-

JADE: -but a few moments later, she zaps in front of Roxy with a snausage in her mouth, grabbing onto her and zapping again back into her cell-

ROXY: =Fuckin!! YES OK. SO..... she can't find Jake like this or Callie.... what to do.... what to do....UGHHHHGHGH. Just hides in a little corridor while trying to think. She doesn't even know if anyone else is here but now she's doubting it? AUGH. Okay, okay okay... think. Gotta think. Where can she hide? UUUGGGH--= ACK! =DOOF. Deposited on her face in the cell, gdi=

#conchspiciousCoercer #gunhardyTemerity #tankedGnostomaniac #growingGradience

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gulescamisade · 6 years

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Betty Crocker Headquarters: Battleship Condescension

)(IC: -there's a lot of hair and glitter awaiting those who DARE to challenge her. toss of the head, trident at her side. she's WADING.-

JOHN: -HERE HIM COME-

JOLENE: -she's been waiting for this moment... NYOOMS THE FUCK IN, GOING IN FOR AN ATOMIC PUNCH RIGHT TO FISH HITLER'S JAW.-

)(IC: -IT LANDS! DOOF!! but clearly she let her have that hit as she promptly slaps grandma out of the way with her trident.- nice to sea u 2 jojo

JOLENE: -skids across the roof of the ship. DOOF X2 COMBO-

DAVENFORTH: -Lands and skids to a halt. How did he even get up here? Uncaptchas his second second and helps JoJo- Damn you got some fight

ARADIA: -she knows her role. She's ascending to a good vantage point-

JOHN: -lets this magical torando he's been building LOOSE. It'll serve as a great distraction and def. mess up her hair.-

LIFERA: -She's up here too, maybe not quite first because it seems Jolene beat her to the PUNCH.... quite literally, and also gravity is a thing she had to wait on, but she lands on the ship, trident scraping the hull with her impact.-

ROXY: =AM HECKIN ARRIVE=

DIRK: -hello bitches indeed, dirkjakeroxy drops the fuck in-

QIRIN: =It took her a while, but she's here now, stowing away the magnetic grappling hook and trading it for her spear.=

DAVENFORTH: Gangs all here nice

)(IC: -NOT HER HAIR??? stupid lil johnny... she lets it swoop her back, getting a good distance from the group forming in front of her.- whale look at the tricks u all got up ur sleeves now

JAKE: -NOT HIS GRANDMA YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!-

JOHN: -HE HOPES YOU LIKE IT IN YOUR FACE AND MOUTH AND EVERYWHERE.- you got a lot to answer for, you dirty old lady. >:O

DAVENFORTH: Really

)(IC: buoy im in the prime of my life 38)

)(IC: as such i aint gonna waste my breath on ya

)(IC: -the jewel of her tiara flashes a symbol in brown while she also... dusts something on the ground?? a second later, they can hear several SPLASHES as creatures of the deep launch themselves out of the water, and then proceed to hitch a ride up to the ship.-

)(IC: -HERE COME THE WATER BABIES. big, furry clawed crabs zoom in on top of a giant... flying nautilis. they drop down in front of the group then, as their wet bodies ACTIVATE THE SPECIAL not star DUST she laid on the ground. the sea monkeys return. and this time they have company: fighty crabs.-

DAVENFORTH: Not these fuckers again

ROXY: keep ur nastyasss crabs to urself >:(

ROXY: =GUN OUT=

DAVENFORTH: Watch out for those slimy fucks they release noxious fumes when they die and just in general

[The crabs PUT UP THEIR DUKES and lunge at the others. And it's true, the slimey sea monkeys are already spreading their weird stonk as they ooze around the ship's surface. It's going to disorient them in no time.]

JOHN: -He dissipates the tornado. Gotta save energy.-

[The Nautilus seems to be minding it's own business up in the sky... FOR NOW.]

ROXY: fine then.... =HOCKEYSTICK TIME, BATS EM=

JOHN: -And instead he hurls a gust of wind at the onslaight of "babies". They're not very cute.-

JOHN: -FWOOOOOOM-

QIRIN: =Good plan, Lalonde! She is also doing the same, only with her spear=

JOHN: -He's zipping around, not staying in one spot.-

LIFERA: -NOT THE WEIRD STONK.-

LIFERA: -SHE FIGHT!!-

ROXY: =She's going to try and smack one of the bugs right at Condy.... and by one she means 20000=

DAVENFORTH: -He's on the move, flashing around and kicking sea monkeys at Condy-

ARADIA: -using psiioniics to attempt to smash one of the water babies into a group of them. Defeating from within-

[WOOSH. The gases disperse with John's wind, but the sea monkeys seem to glue themselves to the floor... Well, most of them. Some go flying into Condy's face. But she mostly just seems inconvenienced by it-- AND THEN THESE ASSHOLES START CHUNKING THEM AT HER.]

)(IC: --

)(IC: -STARTS PLAYING BASEBALL AND KNOCKS THEM BACK. she hiss.-

ROXY: i play zelda bitch i am all about THIS =SMACK=

DAVENFORTH: -KICKS a couple into the crabs-

JOHN: -FWOOOOOSH. And finally...when the dust settles....IT'S HAMMER TIME. He's been wanting to test this baby out.-

)(IC: -floats up to avoid it that time- nice try

[The crabs wobble!! But they are loyal and persistant, leaping at Davenforth and Roxy in particular. Dog pile.]

[MEANWHILE, the Nautilus takes this as a sign to step in, aiming it's tentacles in John's direction. It wiggles, sending off pulses of psychic waves at him before turning towards the other air born one, Aradia, doing the same at her. They are STRONG.]

ROXY: EUGH ROXY: =PUNCHES a crab with her brass knuckles, get cracked bitch=

[WHERE'S THE BUTTER?? It cracks and rattles into another crab. There is much scrambling happen.] DIRK: -tag team, he comes up, stabbing his sword into the crack in the shell to pierce the sweet meats beyond.-

DAVENFORTH: -Surges towards the crab, aiming a slice at a joint that connects its claw and arm.-

JAKE: -SHUCKS!!!!!!!! Peppering these sea monsters with bullets aplenty. HE'S HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH TENTACLES AND CRABS AND TERRIBLE AWFUL FISH PUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-

JOHN: -can you dodge psiionic waves? because he's being very dodgy he's going to try to ZIP AWAY. But it is an ATTEMPT and it may FAIL.-

JOHN: -not all fish puns are bad, jake :( just when bad people do them.-

ARADIA: -using more telekinesis abilities to throw the crabs into each other. Fights fighty crabs-

ARADIA: -OH SHIT. IS THIS PSYCHIC WAVE DODGEABLE. She's gonna try-

ROXY: =She's punching all these cra-.. wait.... FLIPS one=

[Okay, so it's easy enough for OTHER flying targets to dodge... But the same cannot be said of the folks on the ship, because the beams are now headed straight for them. So if anybody isn't paying attention, they're gonna potentially get knocked off the ship.]

JOHN: -THIS HAPPENS TO HIM. He's blasted backwards. GOOD FUCKIN BYE.-

[John tried so hard and got so far... But i nthe end, it doesn't even matter.]

DAVENFORTH: -Someone wanna grab the bara doctor-

JOHN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

[Also crab: is flip. IT WIGGLES ANGRILY.]

ARADIA: -GOT YOU. SWOOPS to John-

ROXY: =LMAO--DOOF, slides=

JOHN: -my hero! he c: at her for a second.-

ROXY: =WHY DOES IT GOTTA BE SO CUTE AND SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS=

ROXY: =oh shit wait a minute..... disappears=

ARADIA: -smiles back and brings him back up to the ship. PLOP DO YOUR THING-

[The crab is confused... Where did she go??]

QIRIN: =literally has to dive out of the way and almost falls off the ship regardless, hanging on to one of the ships enormous prongs.=

JOHN: -HE GOES UP REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLY HIGH. And tries to come back down with his hammer at full force. He's aiming for that weird shelflish thing from the top. Maybe it won't see him above it's shell?-

JOHN: -it's always worth experimenting, ppl.-

ROXY: =APPEARS above the naughty nautilus. She's gonna kick it in the shell...... land on top of John's hammer for Xtra force=

DAVENFORTH: -Scoots away to help Qirin. Get you some good footing bb-

JOHN: -raises eyebrows in surprise but does not stop. let's do this crazy shit, rocks my socks.-

[In the middle of all this scrambling, most of the sea monkeys have gotten squished... So the cloud of gas they've given off is starting to waft gently towards anybody near. But at least they're squashed?? Also these things are not as effective outside geez.]

ROXY: =;) =

QIRIN: =omg thank you. She shakily grabs onto his arm and gets solidity under her feet again.=

[THE COMBINED EFFORTS OF JOHN AND ROXY is more then enough to take the beastie off guard, and the nautilus is launched right into the hammer. IT BASICALLY EXPLODES from the force of both of these things.]

)(IC: 38/

JOHN: -LAUGHING MANIACALLY-

ROXY: =BITCHIN. Does a flip off the hammer up into the air... she is the heckin ball and does many turns in the air back to the ship=

DIRK: -zip zip zoom on the hoverboard again, he snatches jake away to avoid getting gassed while he also evades the fumes. and while he's on here, might as well knock some of the crabs back into the ocean since a good portion of them are cracked and/or filled with holes.-

ARADIA: -telekinetically focusing to try and work the crabs not being handled by dirk right into the condesce's head-

JAKE: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. What are enemies if Jake can't wreck them with his fists??? Or his guns??? So much gunfire.-

DAVENFORTH: -Dusts Qirin off.- Be careful alright

ROXY: =unfurls and releaes a battle cry, shoots spinning green drills from her fists at Condy. PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH= AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! >:U

JOHN: -RAISES FIST IN THE AIR AS ROXY DOES THIS- yEAH!!!

)(IC: -HISSSSSSSS!! fine, enough SEA MONKEYING AROUND. the trident is up, spinning to deflect crabs AND green drills. she can even believe roxy wasted all that time and energy practicing with these gotdam cubes when she coulda been makin orbs. unreal...-

ROXY: =suck my bootyhole dingus! but she lands on the ship with an oof and rolls to run off again=

JOHN: -Since there's nothing stnading in his way he's going to ZOOM to the other side of Condy, to help Roxy's onslaught, summoning some wind to back up the force of Zilly. FRAYMOTIF, BITCH.-

ROXY: =BATTLE BROYALE=

)(IC: -DOOF!! she takes the hit with few other options, but as she's launched, she recovers after digging her trident into the ship's hull and using the momentum to rock and roll and ride this poll, swinging back towards john ready to kick him in the FACE.-

ARADIA: -focuses her energy on John in an attempt to speed him up. With psionics? Or time magic? Who knows-

JOHN: -well he was GOING to get kicked in the face, but...something is happening to him and he does the opposite of getting kicked in the face.-

ROXY: =WOW= ROXY: =She's got your back John, here comes... A BEAUTIFUL PONEE, It's green, it's mechanical with a heart on it's ass and it stampedes all at Condy's general area=

JOHN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! -This is all very confusing and surreal, so he does what he does best and screams incoherently as his unkicked face CHARGES.-

)(IC: oh thats some bullship -there's presumably a tangle of hair, john, and a beautiful pony happening as everyone collides all at once. THIS IS STUPID!! flashes everywhere as she flails... but then remembers she, too, has psionics and as red and blue flashes around her, she sends john and the horse flying in opposite directions from her person. she takes to the sky, trident finding it's way back into her hands.-

JOHN: -This time with feeling- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

ROXY: GET BACK HERE

ROXY: =Musky young lady shakes fist at the sky=

QIRIN: =CHUCKS a throwing knife at her as she ascends= Coward.

JOHN: -He gets flung PRETTY DAMN FAR, but he can float so it's easy enough to stop himself as she makes an imposing figure from above. EL SQUINTO up at her.- ok enough fucking around. -HE STARTS CHANNELING AS MUCH ENERGY AS HE CAN, wind and blue light flurying around him It's going to take a little while but...-

ROXY: =Looks at John chargin up his laser.... she runs over gaunltets out. LAUNCH ME BRO=

ROXY: =i'm gonna punch her in the tit=

DIRK: -zips around behind condy so his jake shaped rail gun can riddle her with bullets and distract her while john, yes, charges his laser. it's a good time.-

ROXY: =bruh...=

JOHN: -yea he hates to just float here being a sitting duck, but this takes so much concentration for him he can't even really focus on moving around.-

)(IC: -gdi... her hair seems to eat bullets, so she's just kind of annoyed and trying to stab her trident at dirk and jake flying around her.-

DIRK: -oh shit... hold onto your butts, this is gonna take some tricky maneuvering to avoid.-

JOLENE: -does roxy still need someone to launch her? because jojo is here with her rocket boots, ready to help and then also propel herself for another sucker punch...-

ROXY: =Take me to the skies hot mama=

JOHN: -Well it's not exactly a LASER, as it turns out. What happens is he just FADES out of existence in a gust of wind.-

JOHN: ~!!

JOHN: ~~~

ROXY: =goodbye forever...... but she assumes.... he's, that's on purpose... you go baby.. she believes in u=

ARADIA: -there he go-

JOLENE: -so long space cowboy... she's here, grabbing up roxy and flying into the sky with her. they zip around for a moment before she builds enough momentum to aim and drop roxy at condy. PUNCH HER TIDDY!!!-

JOHN: -I'M LEAAAVIN ON A JET PLANE. DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE BACK AGAIN~-

ROXY: =HERE COMES ME!!!!! FLIES IN FIST FIRST!!!!!!=

JAKE: -CLINGING TO DIRK IN SHEER TERROR. He's so useless in this battle and is probably crying a little bit. All he can think about is getting home to his babies.-

ARADIA: -any loose debris on the ship? It's flying at condy-

DAVENFORTH: -He's riding a piece of it at her if so. Surprise bitch. Get this sword slash-

)(IC: -this is honestly such bullshit... they're all like a bunch of annoying flies buzzing around her, and she's had it up to here with it. first roxy gets slapped the fuck out of her face with a swipe of her trident, then turns davenward, psionics the sword out of his hands, and turns it right back around on him.-

ROXY: =Doof, BITCH=

JOHN: -MATERIALIZES BEHIND HER. SURPRISE!!! She's gonna catch this hammer. If he makes a sucessful roll-

QIRIN: =This is so stupid. She needs to get a pair of rocketboots or wings or=

SOLLUX: -It's difficult for him to keep up with what exactly is going on, but he can tell shit is getting precarious. Condy isn't the only one with psionics -- he's going to send a wave of them at her, one he's been building up for the right moment, to identify where she is and that everyone else is far enough away.- SOLLUX: -Well, everyone except John.-

LIFERA: DAV-E--!

DAVENFORTH: -Um. Excuse? There's a pained noise of confusion as his body is pinned to the ship with his own sword. This is an all too familiar feeling now, the cold creeping in, the ebbing of his senses. The darkness creeps in while he gurgles for breath that won't come.-

ROXY: =BRUH TF=

QIRIN: =From her throat escaped a soft cry as she watched Davenforth become impaled to the hull. She's rushing toward him, her mind already running through the list of potential injuries, how to stop the blood loss, how to stitch him back up when they are so far from any medical facility and so far off the ground..=

)(IC: -john's strike ends up launching her right into sollux's blast. she lets out an enraged noise as her flesh burns, but still, she's too strong-- the pain only seems to fuel her as she returns fire right back at sollux in overwhelming beams of red and blue.-

ARADIA: -her cheeks are streaked with fresh tears-

DAVENFORTH: -Twitch-

DIRK: -everything is happening so fast, he isn't sure what to focus on first-- but he should probably focus on FLYING or getting off the hoverboard otherwise he's gonna crash him and jake... oops too late.- FUCK! DIRK: -takes a nasty spill onto the ship.-

JOHN: ugh! fuck! dammit. -for just a split second second, he's torn on what to do, go help davenforth or attack condy again???-

SOLLUX: -And he holds his hands out -- they're bright enough that even he can see them, feel the sizzling heat in the air, and he's holding her blast back with his own psionic force, the power of the blasts enough to muffle the scream in his throat.-

QIRIN: =she knows taking it out will only make him bleed faster and she cannot hide the underlying panic in her voice as she touched his cheek, trying to pat him into conciousness.= Dave? Dave, stay awake!

ROXY: =HOLD UP!! She disappears again and tries to be quick about it=

ROXY: =tap dances anxiously in the void=

LIFERA: -No, no, no,

no.

This isn't happening. He isn't-- LIFERA: -He's right there. He was right there, just a second ago...- LIFERA: -Everyone was. Everyone was just right there.-

JOHN: -flinches. he has to shake off all the screaming. he can't do any more for davenforth right now than quirin could. he has to fight. he rides another gust of wind, trying to stay out of the crackling blast of psiionics going on between condy and sollux.-

JOHN: -and charges, yet again.-

JAKE: -Vision jarred and blurred from tears, Jake sees some terrible things as he crashes with Dirk. Hears them, Jake doesn't think he's ever going to be able to shake the images and sounds out of his skull.-

ARADIA: -as much as she wishes she could interfere. She can't. And so the tears keep coming-

JOHN: just fucking die already!!!

ROXY: =APPEARS up above the battle, hoping she can stop this. droppin in a worm style concrete donkey=

)(IC: -HURK. with all her concentration on the optic blast, roxy knocks her out of it and the remainder of sollux's blast sends her flying off onto the other side of the ship.-

DAVENFORTH: -There's no response. It was shocking how damn hearty Davenforth was in the first place. But the fact remained: He was dying, quickly. The only signs of life were the occasional gasp for breath, or twitching of the body. It's not long before he's motionless.-

SOLLUX: -hovers there, panting. He's still upright. That's... something.-

ROXY: =oh thank lort, that took a lot out of her she wheeze=

DIRK: -THANK JESUS FOR THAT. he's scrambling to get up to his feet, helping jake with him.-

ROXY: =ughhhh her body hurts, concrete donkey why are you so merciless=

SOLLUX: -He seems to waver, dizzy, as he floats to touch down on the roof of the ship, and he seems to remember something suddenly. He reaches into his sylladex and pulls out a pair of tyrian-colored goggles.-

SOLLUX: -They're cute. He tugs them onto his head.-

SOLLUX: c00l.

JOHN: -I'm going to say he SEEs this whether it makes sense or not. HE DEF. SEES YOU DO THIS, SOLLUX-

JOHN: -AAAaaaa-

QIRIN: Dave?? =she's tapping his face harder, her words more urgent.= Dave, look at me, do not... Dave!

JOHN: -Kind of screams incoherently again, with frustration, pain, anger. Yeah he's CHASING Condy wherever she's flying, chasing her with his HAMMER.-

ROXY: =she's right there with you john just... let her catch her breath=

JAKE: -He can't breathe, out of his mind in terror but follows Dirk's lead anyway. Please help him, he's so useless.-

JOHN: -He's tired too, but he's too mad. He'll just keep fighting until he passes out.-

JOHN: -The breeze carryijng her along might help her tho-

)(IC: -catches herself with her trident again, leaning on it heavily with a hiss. she's down, but not out.- )(IC: -aims another blast in the direction of the chump coming at her.-

JOHN: -He counters the psiionic blast with a Breezy blast of his own. He doesn't know if that works like that, but if it does maybe it'll give Roxy some time.-

JOHN: -If it doesn't work well...HE'S GOING TOO FAST TO CHANGE DIRECTIONS-

ROXY: =okay, yeah.... back into the fray... she inhales then starts to run in that direction... looking at Davenforth one last time then SPRINTING. Here comes a chubby brown roundhouse=

SOLLUX: -whether or not it works like that, he's swooping in to try to intercept it anyway -- he's not letting John get fried today, and these things are bright enough for him to detect. He grits his teeth at the force it takes to rebound that energy for yet a second time -- and there's a metallic taste in his mouth.-

DIRK: -WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING??- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?? -okay, he's panicking now because that shit is no joke. between sollux and his uncle-- he can't just keep standing around. the sword's back out, he's flash stepping in there to join roxy in an attempt to strike condy while she's dealing with sollux and john.-

)(IC: -yes, sollux very much saved john right there... and she isn't about to be duped again, she blinks away the blasts, rolling off the side to avoid roxy's kick and the remainder of sollux's attack. maybe if she's lucky roxy will get fried.- DIRK: -but she's going to have to deal with him flying in at her!!-

)(IC: -which she does... swiping her trident at him, catching him at the end of her prongs and sending him flying in another direction. ally oop. she didn't pierce enough to rupture anything too much... PROBABLY. but whatever, she's taking to the sky again, breathing shallow.-

JAKE: -left behind to watch all this in green-eyed horror.-

ROXY: UGH! =misses!=

ROXY: =also owie zowie good thing for these gauntlets her hand is on fire while the other tries to catch the ship, OOF=

ROXY: =fuck, everyone's, flying and shit. ughhh=

JOHN: - He is non fried and yet still continues his dogged pursuit. He sends multiple powerful blasts of wind at her as he zips around, hoping to disorient or push her. He's sweating and breathing hard. Even staying in the air while he's doing this is starting to feel difficult. It's sapping all. his energy--

LIFERA: -She can't fly, but she can fucking JUMP. And that's exactly what she's going to do, leaping up high to try to follow the Condesce while she was distracted with everyone else. Sort of uncaring for the potential attacks she's leaping into the middle of. She's been running from this fight for long enough.-

SOLLUX: -There's a sort of white noise in his pan -- something like dull ringing that blots everything else out, including the thunkof how his body crumples onto the roof of the ship. It's all metallic and ringing and sort of peaceful.-

ROXY: =wUT=

ROXY: =That gets her up, no matter how tired she is= (fuck)

JOHN: - Sees this from above. no. -

QIRIN: =turns from Dave's fucking dead impaled body to see wtf that thunk was=

ARADIA: -standing on the ship, behind everyone else, watching. Watching what she's seen before. Watching what is supposed to be the better outcome-

)(IC: -grits her teeth at lifera. she might have found it funny just earlier this evening. it might have been fun to toy around with this guppy, who really believed she could ever wear the same mantle as her... but not anymore. as she tries to get her energy back, she focuses on stabbing her trident right at lifera.-

JOHN: -he curses to himself and gives up on the wind blasts for now while lifera distracts condy, changing directions and nyooming back down to where sollux fell. he couldn't save davenforth, but maybe sollux is still salvageable. god, he hopes so.-

DIRK: -he sits up, clutching his stomach that's been torn the fuck up by trident prongs. hhhhhh. he's... had worse... technically? watch this idiot try to stand.-

ARADIA: -she's gonna help you out dirk-

QIRIN: =even through she doesn't want to, she tears herself from Dave's side and joined John, stooping to her knees across from him on Sollux's other side. She had to help the living.=

QIRIN: John? =There is everything in the question, medically speaking and everything else.=

JOHN: -he lands by sollux's crumpled up body- i think he had an anyeurism. psiionic burnout. let's try compression.

ROXY: =UGHHH, DIRK.....=

JOHN: -HES' GONNA ...TRY HIS DAMNDEST. to resuscitate.-

ROXY: =so much is happening right now.... Qirin and Aradia have them boys but she's just gauging how much more she can do rn and gurgling anxiously but there's also fighting fish. It's a lot to take in=

LIFERA: -Her trident is extended, too, and there's a determined fury in her eyes as the two of them soar to meet one another.-

LIFERA: -And a pain her chest. She knows it impaled her. But she's strong, too, and it's just enough that maybe she has an opportunity to strike back, that one window where if she can do something...-

LIFERA: -She thrusts her trident, but she can't tell if it hits. Another moment later, her body is wrenched off of the Condesce's spear points, and there's nothing below her to catch her, no way for her to keep herself airborne. She begins to fall toward the lake.-

ROXY: =MMMNNGN GDI=

ROXY: =Welp... here goes the remainder of her juice.... if she has enough.... LEAPS=

SOLLUX: -There's blood from his mouth, his ears, filling up the lenses of the goggles. Whatever life is in him, it's fading fast. John's efforts have his body responding for a moment, and then... nothing.-

JOHN: - he tries again and again. when chest compression fails he tries mouth to mouth despite it getting his mouth all bloody. he feels chilled, right down to the bone. this can't be happening. He has to be able to save him-

ROXY: =She feels like something terribad just happened.... mmmnng, she's diving for Lif, gonna cling on you girly and travel them through the void at least back up to the deck..... sorry for the momentum if she catches her in time=

LIFERA: -CATCH, DOOF. She wasn't expecting anyone to come after her... and she's still conscious, surprisingly, as she blinks at Roxy, mouth twitching in a smile even as she bleeds out.-

ROXY: =GDI NO=

ROXY: =she can't even void up gauze or anything she's just panting and like.... pressing on these wounds. STOP bleeEDING YOU FUQ=

QIRIN: =she's sitting there silent as John does his work.=

LIFERA: -She refuses to stop keep bleeding.-

LIFERA: -But she does move a hand to lay it over one of Roxy's on her chest, just... quiet. A silent request. This is more than she expected... and more than she could have hoped for.-

)(IC: -lifera got a lucky hit... there's fuchsia dripping down her middle, and as she sputters, she takes a moment to look around. she can't believe the impact they've all managed to make on her, on her forces... all that hard work rebuilding an empire and it's all about to go up in smoke.-

)(IC: -she's only got one last trick up her sleeve -- something she borrowed. thanks, lil jamison. she remains airborn, a white aura forming around her. this is it, this is her last hope. at least they're all pretty distracted while she works on charging it up...-

ROXY: =She's not your biggest fan but there's a lot of death and watching an, admittedly, pretty reformed fish lady die under her hands is something that has her bawling. Wtf :'''( =

JOHN: - stupid noodle you've got two beautiful husbandos that I love and children and a moirail that just came back to life and you're wearing feferisgoggles and you saved him YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE. -

ROXY: =bitch dun u dare=

DIRK: -he's disoriented from the spill he took, and the blood loss, so he just kinda... leans on aradia while also trying to guide them in the vague direction of other people.- Sollux?

ROXY: =She's not going to stop holding Lifera's hand but also. Suns out, guns out Conds she will bip a bitch between the eyes and will if she can fire one off=

ARADIA: -holds onto dirk tightly because she knows what's coming and she's crying about it already and she has to be strong for dirk right now as they come closer-

JOHN: - he tears himself away in frustration...and just IS MORE UPSET THAN WORDS CAN DESCRIBE. he thinks about saying something... but he just can't. instead he lifts into the air again. to keep fighting. and now he's covered in yellow blood. *

LIFERA: -Roxy's gun -- the determination in her face -- is the last thing she registers before she decides to close her eyes. She managed it. Maybe now she can rest.-

QIRIN: =She's sitting quietly, noticing that more and more time passed without a sign of life. When John left, she carefully arranged Sollux's body, straightening his legs and folding his hands over his chest.=

ROXY: =NO. >:( =

JOHN: - maybe he has enough juice left to help Roxy. He nyooms away towards her NOT looking back at the ground.

ROXY: =John... FUSE WITH ME=

JOHN: - OH HE WOULD. IF THAT WAS A THING HE COULD DO. BUT NAH. he's just gonna pour everything he's got into one last fraymotif. he's so tired. -

QIRIN: =When she finished, Qirin rose to her feet and walked back to Davenforth. Gripping his sword, she pulled it free, catching him with her other arm as gravity took him. Her face was drawn into an expressionless mask as she carried him over to Sollux, arranging him the same way.=

DIRK: -aradia is crying, so... that could only really mean one thing. haha, fuck.

Fuck. they make it to sollux and he's so light headed he just lets himself drop to his knees next to him.-

DIRK: You... fuck. -what else do you even say in a situation like this? that's always been his response to sollux doing stupid shit, so why should now be any different.-

DAVENFORTH: -Unfortunately, as she pulled on the sword there was a cracking as the hilt separated and shattered, still leaving the blade in his chest. Unbreakable sword my ass.-

JOHN: - he looks really haggard, glancing at Roxy and then back at Condy. - what should we do? i think this is our last shot.

ARADIA: -lowers herself next to dirk-

JOHN: - w/e she's doing it'd be best if they don't let her fuckin do it-

QIRIN: ..... =That....just about does it. When that happens and she has to actually pull him off his own sword, she has to close her eyes for it, trying to retain the calm that centuries of being queen had demanded.=

QIRIN: =Davenforth and Sollux side by side, she stood over them even as the remnants of the battle raged below. She couldn't bring herself to face Dirk when he arrived, and despite herself one tear escaped and dripped down to the bodies lying still.=

QIRIN: =another rolled down her cheek.=

QIRIN: =and another.=

QIRIN: =one after another tears flowed freely from her eyes until her vision clouded and she could no longer make out their features. She says nothing and makes no sound.=

DIRK: -leans foreward -- which fucking hurts, given his injury, and just... rests his head on sollux, taking up his hand tight. he doesn't know what to think or feel, what he expected... he just knows he wants to hold onto that last bit of warmth.-

ROXY: =This fish lady has gone full cold..... she just stands up to John, winded as she is= lets fuckin.... grand slam this shit hff tbh =SO DETERMINED SO ANGER=

JOHN: - he looks at her gratefully. that was p much what he wanted to hear. - alright. let's do it. - he'll try. -

JAKE: -It's so painful to be conscious of reality. Watching Sollux fall and Dirk get flung in a slow searing pain of events for Jake. Davenforth was down. Lifera. It's happened before. The will of some cruel monster that took everything he loved, and warped it into something unrecognizable. And all Jake could do was stand there and watch it all happen from a distance. Far, far away like he was doomed to do it seemed. But why? Why? Why??

JAKE: -Stares and stares. Stares so hard, the tears at the edges of his eyes feel like they're burning off his face. All by the sheer weight of his agony and his willingness to COMMIT to this reality.-

JAKE: -This was real. Jake English was real and he finally believed it.-

ROXY: =LATCHES to him= beam us tf up scottie >:/ =she flexes her core and just. Push through the pain. les do dis=

JOHN: - HE BEAMS THEM THE FUCK UP. Using every last bit of energy he has to do it. But there's more than there should be, there's more energy than just him. And John doesn't know it, but the only reason he can come in this hard and fast, carrying Roxy with him- is because Jake believes in it. *

JAKE: -It's as John and Roxy prepare to take off that Jake sees it in the line of his vision. Finally. It was like looking into a glass sphere, the tapestry of everything that he ever perceived. It was framed by a surge of energy, the picture-perfect essence of why any of this mattered.-

JAKE: -He could hear it speak in whispers, washing over him until EVERYONE IN THE MILES WIDE DISTANCE OF THE BATTLEFIELD is tuning in on it like some kind of ridiculous radio. Hushed sounds that brought to one's mind the feeling of being a child again... the warmth. The comfort of being told there was so much more than the creatures hiding in the dark. The bump on their knee. The breaks in their hearts.-

JAKE: -The raw light pulls at Jake, until he feels himself pulls back. With the simplicity of rushing water, the feeling was pooling into his soul. Heating his brain, spilling out of his very being with the inability to contain it all.-

JAKE: -The very air begins to crackle with such HEAT. Reality was warping, tearing itself apart in gashes of blinding bright light. Gravity doesn't exist anymore, the world is closing in on Jake ... until he starts to rise. Higher, brighter, and more powerful than the Condesce will ever think to be. -

JAKE: -It's suddenly clear to everyone HOPE WAS ALIVE. And it intended to stay that way.-

ROXY: =She feels this surge of energy, she's holding to John, clipping them in and out of the void as they gather up speed and MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE VELOCITY as John rockets them through it=

ROXY: =Blips them right in her fucking grill. TIME FOR A DUO UPPERCUT TO THE GD CHINBITS=

JOHN: - He's never really felt like this before it's like... not exactly a happy feeling. In fact, it feels like too much, he wants to scream but it's moving him. either way. And his hammer is following the arc of energy-

QIRIN: =When she was a child, she was far more volatile than this. Far less in control. Far less a Queen. She was free then. And feeling it now she wanted to share that freedom and live like she had long before her coronation. A quiet sob, full of heartache and unsaid things, escaped her at last.=

)(IC: -all last ditch efforts to believe in herself and her empire are snuffed out – dwarfed in comparison to what real hope feels like. the white light around her is drowned in the much more powerful one coming off of jake and it's blinding. yet for a moment, it's enough for her to feel what he feels, believe what he believes, and it's not quite like anything she's ever experienced before.-

)(IC: -john and roxy had already done a good number on her, but there's no hope in this particualr situation for her as her face gets brutalized by a fucking rocket punch and hammer of friendship. there she goes... but a sparkle in the sky... until she comes crashing down into the water below.-

JOHN: -TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIIIIIIIIN-

ROXY: =B Y E B I T CH. She also looks at all that heat. All that raw power Jake was putting out near those fresh bodies. Her arm found it's way around John's. Flexing to squeeze it..... they were leaders..... now time to be friends. Get their friends outta there. Lets free fall into it homeboy=

JOHN: -It's not like they can communicate...but in a way they kind of can, now that they're using their magic together, it has a sort of rythmn. In any case, he understands what she wants him to do, or at least the Heir of Breath does.-

ROXY: =Don't make it gay John. Only do. Time to get everyone up outta there. Swirls of blue and black on the deck. bubckle up babes let's get he snuzz outta here=

JAKE: -Clouds, wind, and debris is being pushed with the massive volume of this hope field. It's raw emotion in its most simple form. Basic motivation and the sheer force of Jake's will begins to manifest into a form. Serpentine and winged as VENGEFUL SCREAMS erupt from their mouth. The first sounds of their beings.-

JAKE: -So much hopelessness and despair drawn to one place. The angels turn their sightless gaze on nothing but the SS CONDESCENSION. Suddenly, they're cutting through the air in swift, cruel movements. Ripping the entirety of the bright red ship hull apart in their rage and hunger.

JAKE: -Always hungry.-

JOHN: -how can he make it gay when the gay was always in his heart the whole time.-

JOHN: -Also yeah, holy shit. White hell just opened up. It's time to SKEDADDLE. As Roxy's void magic starts to pull them, John's magic wraps protectivley around them and expands it. THEY'RE ALL GETTING TELEPORTED.-

JAKE: -Suddenly in a giant boom of what is unmistakably Jake's voice.- HOLY TOLEDO BATMAN!

ROXY: =Both of you... plz=

JOHN: -that was the single most terrifiyng thing he ever heard.-

DIRK: -I'm laughing I'm crying it feels like I'm dying-

JOHN: -It was like hearing God speak and God said: HOLY TOLEDO BATMAN-

QIRIN: =When the winds died down from transport, Qirin eventually sunk to her knees and adjusted Dave's sunglasses on his nose. Brushing his hair from his eyes, she glanced up at their surroundings. Where was Lifera?...they should be placed together.=

JAKE: -It hurts to feel this much. Have it tear up his insides and he knows... for every up, there must be a down. Gauging time was impossible for Jake but he certainly wasn't going to be conscious enough to try.-

JAKE: -The brightness of the field begins to wane, the angels disappear. Jake's eyes droop until he's lurching forward. Falling... falling... falling... way down into a pit of dark quiet.-

JOHN: - when this shit is said and done, he's also passing out.-

JOHN: -literally, fainting.-

ROXY: =yo same.... jake tho she reaches for them then conks tf out ugh=

ARANEA: -before jake's lows literally take him into the depths, a pixie who had been watching all this chaos swoops in to save him. it's alright, now... she only hopes it doesn't look like she's trying to square away her past mistakes by rescuing this man. but the hope he's given everyone to finish this fight... it's something to be cherish, it's something to be preserved.-

ARANEA: -she carries him back to the others, zig zagging through remnants of the battle on the lake -- the forces are being driven back now and the rebels are celebrating all around them. it's over now and they won. for once, they won against the empire.-

ARANEA: -sets jake down with the others with nothing to say. it isn't her place... and well, everyone is passed out now, at best. she only helps mend any wounds she can with her own powers.-

JAKE: -Only deams of brain ghosts and tropical islands now.-

[Relief comes by way of the rebels until the UU arrives. It scoops everyone away and finds a place to lay low before they think about taking to space again. They earned a little time to rest at home.]

#conchspiciousCoercer #guardeniaGadgeteer #tenaciousgodliness #artifactualAnnihilation #effluentBalatron #coralcaliph #tankedgnostomanic #technetronicTactician #weatheringQuerist #gunhardyTemerity #twofoldacrimony

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