#crit.txt

[hellt00th]

things im fucking feral over: garrus taking every single opportunity he gets to tenderly tuck some strands of shepards hair behind her ear

#you can't tell me this man sees that move on some shitty 90s show and immediately incorporates it into his arsenal of things that #make shepard blush #shakarian #crit.txt #its his go to when he wants to kiss her and hes tryna be sweet instead of impuslive

[hellt00th]

Larian makes a joke dlc and it’s just NPC dating sim

#has everyone from zevlor dammon and Rolan to the chosen of the dead 3 #except you don’t get to kiss Orin she just rips your throat out with her teeth and you say thank you as you bleed out #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

Karlach and Astarion would girlypop dance to General Custer by Slipknot

#prove me wrong you won’t #baldur's gate 3 #karlach #astarion #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

Tav/Durge taking a really hard blow to the head that leaves them barely conscious and when Astarion comes to check on them, they smile at him with a mouthful of blood and say

“Are you an angel?”

#inside astarion is PREENING and also touched bc that smile even bloody as it is #is incredibly charming and sweet #one of those smiles only he ever sees #outside he groans and tells them to get off their lazy ass #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

New favorite hobby: watching spiderman 2 fans mald loudly bc they didn’t win any awards

#crit.txt

[hellt00th]

yknow whats hilarious to me is the cats in bg3 don't want to be touched. you know who is a cat person and who doesn't like being touched without being asked first?

Astarion

#cats are analogues for astarion confirmed #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

garrus never getting to spend the rest of his life with shepard upsets me greatly actually

#if shep comes back I want it to be specifically so they get a definitive happy end to their romance #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

you want astarion to be a good boy and change his wicked ways I want him to stay exactly as he is but healed from his trauma we are not the same

#crit.txt #turning him into a good boy is boring #let him be chaos incarnate but without cazador's torment haunting his every step

[hellt00th]

Please consider: gentle headbonks as krogan affection/kisses

#I’m really tendies thinking about Wrex or Drack or even Grunt #giving their babies/great grandbabies a tiny little forehead bonk as a kiss essentially #gotta be gentle bc either I headcanon it or I saw somewhere that krogan babies don’t hatch with hard shells #They gotta harden as they grow #mass effect #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

Me: im not understimulated, you’re understimulated!!!

Also me: drawing, playing video game and listening to music at the same time

#crit.txt #and it’s still Not Enough

[hellt00th]

Most attractive man to ever exist in media at any point in time, I won’t change my mind.

#crit.txt #I’ve had a crush on Jim since I watched this movie as a kid

[hellt00th]

"heterosexual jumpscares" shut the fuck up actually. god fucking forbid bi/pan people do anything with the opposite gender

#im so fucking tired #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

adhd decision paralysis ruining my morning bc i cant decide if i wanna play sims or rimworld

#god dammit #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

The way I desperately want to draw things but the depression saps all the life force out of me every time I try

#); #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

Low key I wanna reimagine the beginning of the citadel dlc starting from the moment garrus sees Shepard after she fell through a damn fish tank and hit the ground a couple stories below.

Something tells me the fully armored turian worrier is gonna take one (1) look at his wet, cut all to shit girlfriend who’s limping, wearing no armor whatsoever and armed only with by all appearances the dinkiest pistol he’s ever seen, and immediately go into Protect At All Costs mode, regardless of how much of a power house Shepard is.

Like. This man would damn near smother her trying to take every bullet aimed in her direction. And he’d definitely be the one pulling Shepard into cover long before she could push him, once the c-sec shuttle full of mercs rolls up to gun them down. I almost think he’d pull pieces of his armor off and make her wear them til they’re back at the apartment.

And don’t get me started on once they’re there, he’s gonna be all over Shep trying to assess the damage and decide if he needs to hold her down for a medical scan or hunt down every last asshole who even thought about hurting her. He’d be INSUFFERABLE for at least a few minutes.

#sheps saving grace is all her Cerberus upgrades #that’d be the only reason he backs off and only when shep tells him to #crit.txt

[hellt00th]

man. you know what upsets me. this shit the shadowheart karlach and gale say to you when they find out your role in the absolute as the dark urge. despite giving karlach her ability to touch back despite stopping gale from killing himself and despite allowing shadowheart to do the gauntlet of shar and having aylin reveal how shar has fucked her over

like. it legitimately changed how i thought about all 3 of them, mainly bc the kind of character I'm playing has done fucking EVERYTHING for these people and yet. She STILL gets spat at for her past life.

#EVEN JAHEIRA WHO FUCKING FOUGHT SAREVOK IS CALMER THAN THESE 3 FUCKS #AAAAA #crit.txt #bg3 spoilers #i still love them tho but im Upset #if it wasnt for halsin and astarion aneira would have ended it all after that bullshit