#dazai can only show affection ironically so he says these things like theyre a joke

[zukkaoru]

fyozai + pet names is like.. dazai calls fyodor the most obnoxious cringe things known to man, and he stacks seven pet names on top of each other just to make it worse. meanwhile fyodor uses sophisticated, genuinely sweet things like dear or darling or russian terms of endearment. but 80% of the time what he really means is "i am on hour twelve of my fantasy where i poison you and then proceed to watch you writhe in agony and refuse to put you out of your misery and then eventually force the antidote in you just so you won't get the satisfaction of dying even after all that pain"

#dazai: hello my little schnookums pookie bear babygirl pumpkin pie nightlight starbright first star i see tonight. how are you ^.^ #fyodor: i am fine dear (said while vividly imagining dazai being pecked apart by birds and bleeding to death) #fyozai #bsd #this is important to me #dazai can only show affection ironically so he says these things like theyre a joke #but what he really means is please for the love of GOD let me hold your hand #hello grace here