#dexter absolutely dodged a bullet he would have been a wreck

[xxcherrycherixx]

Blondie walking into the room to see cupid lounging completely naked on her bed scrolling through hextagram:

Cupid noticing her and moving to wave, her boobs now fully on display: blondie! You’re back early :D whats with that look?

Blondie:

Blondie: dexter would have never survived dating you.

Cupid: what

#ever after high #blondie lockes #c.a cupid #dexter absolutely dodged a bullet he would have been a wreck #‘cmon dex! i want another round ;) ‘ #dexter crying ‘i cant- i physically cant go anymore- its been TWO HOURS cupid i cant go again 😭’ #‘thats fine!’ dexter has hope at cupids words ‘really? youre fine with it’ #cupid nods excitedly ‘yeah! its totally fine! we can just switch positions so im fucking you instead! so you dont have to get it up :D’ #‘wait what- what do you mean- oh. oh thats a dick.’ #dexter frowns as he notices something ‘why does everyone including my gf have a bigger dick than me?’ #dexter could not handle any of cupids constant nakedness or lust #meanwhile blondie is a total freak who is honestly a lil disappointed if cupid isnt naked and ready to go the moment she comes home #lets put it this way: #if dexter walked in tge bedroom to see cupid with even just basic bondage- he would be out of there. #if blondie walked in the room to see cupid as a literal bear with a dick- she would be undressing already. #im sorry i slipped in a bear cupid sex joke #silvers posts just reminded me of it so i have it on the mind 😭 #DAMN YOU BEAR CUPID