#don't tag as sciflash

[smallcrystals]

sciflash 46 i’m getting invested

i’m actually kind of glad i didn’t delete this ask since i changed my mind !! this drabble (or as much of a drabble it is since it’s fucking long) is not gonna be part of my canon sciflash timeline.

one of the main reasons is that the topic is gonna be hard to fit into the rest of the continuity, and another is that i didn’t really want this to be about sciflash, given the topic at hand. so they’re just best friends in this (which i think maisa would appreciate tbh haha). i just wanted to focus on their relationship as best friends and how they comfort each other. so yeah!

anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this !!

tw / bulimia

———

Twilight shoved her hand into the pocket of her skirt, pulling out her phone to check the time. Twenty-five to four. She hoped to get to the Music Room before anyone else did, before the school bell rang at quarter to, hoping to not get lost in another large crowd of students. One strap of her bag on her shoulder, she raced up the stairs, gripping on the railing at the top to take a quick breather before starting up her run again.

Turning left, then right, she reached the Music Room and stopped, almost falling over her feet from the impact. After adjusting her hair and her glasses, she took a better look at the sign on the door. The Rainbooms.

Shit. Had the girls already booked the place before Flash got here?

She grabbed the handle and pushed it down, pausing when it wouldn’t go any further than forty-five degrees. She tried again, harder this time, and it wouldn’t budge. Twilight threw a confused look at the door before reaching for her phone again to call the boy in question until the door opened and Flash popped his head out.

“Oh, it’s just you,” Flash said, letting out a sigh of relief. His voice was low, not monotone but just… dull. His expression, while at first was filled with surprise, switched, almost automatically, back to sometime unreadable. She was starting to wonder why Flash texted for Music Room Time and there was one idea, but she didn’t like the sound of it at all. “Come in. Oh, and could you take off The Rainbooms sign while you’re at it—if that’s okay.”

Twilight nodded and unhooked the sign, bringing it inside with her. She wandered further into the room, tossing the laminated card along with the others. Flash locked the doors again.

“So, you said you wanted Music Room Time?” Twilight said, giving him as best of a comforting smile as she could give. 

Music Room Time was one of their few codes Flash and she used. The others were simple, cutting some words down, but this one was more ambiguous. Flash said he thought of it from the time he found Twilight alone in the CHS Music Room, grumpily attempting to play the guitar (and failing which worsened her mood). He had sat with her, playing his own, allowing his presence to comfort her since she clearly didn’t want to talk about whatever happened. And it worked. Well, it always worked. Flash did that somehow.

She couldn’t even remember what happened. But ever since then, really, did this start. If either of them wanted to rant about something, or ask for comfort, they’d use Music Room Time. They both found familiarity in this room, Sentry for obvious reasons and Twilight… well, she didn’t really have a clue as to why. Maybe it wasn’t the room itself, more so the people the room reminded her of.

Flash nodded in a sort of sheepish way, lifting the hem of his high-waisted jeans up with both hands. “It’s… I don’t know.”

“Advice or comfort?” she asked genuinely.

“...comfort.” His gaze fell to the floor, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. She had taken note of that ages ago when they started talking more that it was a nervous habit of his. “If that’s okay…”

Twilight felt her lips form a frown. Why would he think it wasn’t okay?

“Of course it is,” she said, voice tender. After dropping her bag to where Flash placed his, she walked up to the stairs and sat, patting the spot next to her for him. Flash dusted down his t-shirt, which was perfectly tucked into his jeans, and followed her.

He looked so tense. She hoped it wasn’t because of what happened yesterday but she couldn’t convince herself it wasn’t about that. The situation wasn’t pleasant in the slightest and his head probably wasn’t in a good place either. So she wanted to tread lightly, careful to not give him the wrong idea that he couldn’t speak to her about something so personal.

Twilight looked down at the gap between them, a gap larger than what it’d normally be. When it came to personal space, they kept it at a friendship level, or as close as friends could get since he and she were both affectionate people in general. So the size of that gap between them scared her a little.

But Twilight didn’t want to bother his personal bubble just yet. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Twilight decided to ask, in a very soft tone. She surprised herself with this one too, her voice had never sounded like that before. That wasn’t to say she had never softly spoken to someone, she just didn’t think her voice could be so delicate.

Flash paused. “Maybe? I don’t know. I just… I’ve never tried doing that before, you know? Puking out a meal after I-I just had it?” He choked on his words, to which he audibly gulped and wet his lips so it would be easier for him to speak. Twilight’s hand instinctively climbed to her pocket, though she wasn’t sure why when a water bottle wouldn’t fit into her pocket anyways.

“Do you want some water? To clear your mouth?” she added.

Flash hesitated, cheeks a little red. Then he nodded. For those few seconds, before she got up to get her bag, he looked at her in a way she couldn’t describe but it was warm. Thankful? Soft and almost vulnerable. She slid her water bottle out of the side pocket of her bag and then jogged back to her seat.

“You don’t have to sky,” she said.

And just as she knew Flash would, he skied from her bottle, washing the water from one side of his mouth to the other, gulping it down after. He let out a sigh through his nose that sounded freer and then handed it back to her.

“Thanks.”

She grinned at him. Once she placed the bottle to the side, she took the opportunity to slide a little closer to the boy, just enough to not invade his space but enough to let him know he could ask for a hug.

The thing was, Flash never asked for anything he wanted. It was only until the chance came to him that he’d take what was given. She admired that in him but also couldn’t help but worry; he kept so much to himself that he probably really wanted, needed even, but was too scared to ask. Twilight noticed it every single time. She just didn’t know how to get it out of him.

“You’re okay to continue?” she asked. Her hand closest to him twitched in temptation to lift it up and hold his shoulder, but she wouldn’t do it without his permission. “It’s okay if you don’t.”

Flash gently shook his head. “I wanna talk about it.” Twilight squinted for a second at his eyes. They were a little red and smaller. Red from crying? From tiredness? It felt like a mix of both. She wasn’t sure how she didn’t notice it until now but the need to let him know it’s okay fizzed inside her chest, becoming more irritable by the second. She really wanted to do something about it. But she had to wait until he asked.

“It’s not really a surprise to you, or anyone really, that I don’t… think so highly of my appearance as everyone else does. I don’t know what I was thinking after I had my lunch either—I-I feel like I’ve been eating too much recently too so I figured—” Flash’s arms slowly wrapped around his stomach.

The inner corners of Twilight’s eyebrows drew in. She wanted to help so badly.

“I don’t know, okay, I’m just…” He pressed his lips into a line. The pain in his expression was too obvious.

Twilight watched him curl himself up more, as if to make himself smaller, his eyes avoiding her gaze. “Can I sit a little closer to you?” she brought herself to ask. Flash looked at her and then at the space between them before nodding softly. Twilight shuffled along the step until their hips were almost touching. Instead of what she expected Flash to do – move away because she might’ve gotten too close – he turned his body to face her more and then rested his head on her shoulder.

“I just hate this voice in my head.” The vibrations of his voice hit her collarbone, more so due to how small his voice was. “It twists everything anyone says about me, or mostly my appearance, and I don’t why, like what’s the use, what do I gain out of it? More modesty?”

As if Flash needed any more modesty. If Twilight could name anyone off the top of her head who she’d consider the least egotistical person on Earth, it’d be Flash.

“I remember my throat and chest hurting so much just from puking out, like what, a ninth of my meal? Maybe that snapped me out of it because it wasn’t even that much and if I were to continue, who knows what pain I’d receive.” His brows furrowed against her shoulder. “But Twi, I-I… my head was in such a fucking mess, and it doesn’t help that my opinion on my self-image wasn’t high to begin with.” 

Her hand on his shoulder wrapped around his neck, the other climbing up his other arm. Just by the sound of his voice cracking, Twilight’s eyes couldn’t help but well up. She always wished she could control her emotions and be there for her friends but seeing them upset only ruined her too.

And all in all, if she was being honest? The fastest she had ever started tearing up was from seeing Flash Sentry cry. And those were from when she caught him from afar. Now that he was literally right by her side, she knew she would take her less than a few seconds until she collapsed with him.

“There was this argument in my head in the bathroom, just going back and forth between telling me this is wrong and telling me this is will help me and it felt so loud, like those arguments your parents have and they try to drag you into it, telling you to pick a side, it was overwhelming and—”

And that’s how Timber found you. Twilight flinched when Flash cut himself off mid-rant, taking a quick glance at Twilight before sighing out what felt like bottled up exhaustion. I must’ve said that aloud, Twilight internally groaned.

She wasn’t there for the entire thing but from what Timber told them when Flash was with the nurse, he found his closest best friend at the brink of breaking down by the sink. Him trying to figure out what was wrong only made Flash spill over that brink. Twilight saw glimpses of it when peaking into the boy’s bathroom. She had been behind Sunset who looked completely mortified, almost ready to storm into the boy’s bathroom to comfort him, completely forgetting about the school rules.

Timber didn’t look so better himself. He looked like he had been through a haunted house three times consecutively and shock had struck him permanently. She knew that face of helplessness, of how the fuck did I not catch onto my best friend going through this? That feeling wasn’t a stranger to her either.

She gazed down at the boy. He was holding back.

After slightly hissing at the tears tickling her cheeks and wiping them away with her sleeve – well, an attempt of wiping them away with her sleeve – she rubbed Flash’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Flash…” she started. “Do you want to cry right now?”

Simply mentioning the word cry caused her eyes to fill up with tears again. Her throat was tight from the knot in her chest and her head was desperately trying to get rid of it but she ignored it.

Wide-eyed, she stared at him when he shook his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I… I don’t want you to be upset because of me.”

Twilight’s expression switched to one of bafflement. “Why wouldn’t I be upset? I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“That’s the thing; if seeing me hurt hurts you then I don’t want that,” he said with another strained chuckle.

“It’s not about me, Flash,” she said and was about to continue before:

“I-I know… I…” he ended up giving up his end of the argument since he couldn’t find the words to say. She knew what he meant without him having to put it into words, causing Twilight to freeze for a second.

“You don’t want to see me hurt because it makes you feel like you’re burdening me?” she finished for him. Her brain halted for a minute, shocked she managed to put that into words. It halted for even longer when Flash nodded. Huh. We really aren’t that different, are we?

Twilight’s hand moved to wipe that tear that finally broke from Flash’s eyes and then halted, deciding to let it fall down his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Flash said.

“Shh,” she immediately said after, almost like she was interrupting him. “Don’t. It’s okay. Do you want anything from me?” Twilight felt the word hug bubble in her throat and the urge grew larger.

“Um…” His gaze fell to his lap and he squirmed around for a second. “I…”

Twilight wished she could get rid of the internalised stigma Flash had about being a taker; the boy gave so much without limits, to the point where she thought that might be a contributing factor to that stigma he had. She took in Flash’s features and how he was trying to say what he wanted but it wasn’t coming out.

We really aren’t that different, are we?

“Do you want a hug?” she asked, her voice so quiet she’d be surprised if he actually heard it.

Flash, of course knowing him, did and a smile broke from his lips, completely contradictory to his eyes glossing over rather quickly. Before she could see proper, clear tears roll down his face, Twilight wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. She rested her cheek against the top of his head, feeling his arms wrap around her waist.

She heard his little, barely audible sobs and couldn’t hold back her own tears. Twilight slid her own glasses off, held onto them by the arm as she hugged Flash a little tighter.

“I-I’m… I just need someone to tell me it’ll be okay, someone to show me I’m okay the way I am because people just telling me doesn’t do shit,” he muttered, words blotchy from crying.

Twilight thought about all the times people have complimented Flash on his body and knowing well the boy couldn’t take compliments, it wasn’t because he was catfishing for more (he would never), the compliments just didn’t get to his head. 

He had gotten so many under Twilight’s watch and who knew how many he got during family functions, clubs and parties outside Canterlot, times where he was in someone else’s bed. He, of course, knew people found him handsome, pretty, any adjective describing beauty.

But… 

“I w-want someone to teach me how to believe I’m as good as they tell me, too.” Flash’s tears fell onto Twilight’s collarbone.

The air was heavy around them, Twilight’s sight blurry from both tears and no sight but she could feel. Feel Flash tremble in her arms. Twilight presses her lips as more tears cascade down the side of her face, some disappearing in her curly bangs.

“I-I know I seem like I want answers right now…” Flash said, lifting his head up a fraction, though not enough for Twilight to fully see him. Not that she could bring herself to, anyway.

“Doesn’t everyone?” Twilight replied with a light shrug of her shoulder.

It made Flash chuckle at least. “But really—I know you can’t give me answers so I’m not asking for it. I just…”

“Want comfort and someone to listen to you… right?”

Flash nodded. His soft hair brushed against her damp cheek. She stayed quiet as Flash sniffed. Silence brushed over them, thick with the discomfort from the conversation. Her right hand came up to Flash’s head, tempted to hug him tighter. Twilight had cried into his chest multiple times and she was more than okay for him to do the same too.

The two flinched when the first end of school bell rang, both looking up at the red bell across the room. Twilight sighed, turning her head to Flash.

“Do you want anything else?” she asked, still softly.

He hummed lowly, as if deciding what he wanted. Then, without saying anything else, he tightened his arms around Twilight. She understood.

Hold me just a little longer.

Twilight tightened her arms around him too.

Of course.

#flash sentry #sci twi #equestria girls #don't tag as sciflash #friendship drabble #drabble #writing #mlp equestria girls #eqg #mlp eqg