#dont usually publish asks that arent anon so i hope its ok to publish this but it adds to the mystery

[egberts]

if you answer a deleted ask that's Not anonymous does the person who sent it still get notified that it was answered? (assuming they're not deactivated by now ofc)

actually that's a good point, it seems like the only ones that show up are anonymous! i wonder what that's about

#dont usually publish asks that arent anon so i hope its ok to publish this but it adds to the mystery #pallasinine

[fuzzywhatzitinvasion]

Is there a good way to repair relations with someone if you are a fan of theirs and you have an opinion you feel is harmless but they take it further than you meant it to and they start insulting you? I was hoping to get your opinion on what to do since you're the one I need to repair relations with.

If this is your attempt in making things right this is possibly one of the worst ive ever seen.  Putting a cut because this is gonna be a long one.

Saying you have nothing against trans people doesn’t change the transphobic things you said.Your post was literally the equivalent of “I’m not racist, buuuut….” I literally do not care that its your “opinion.” Its harmful to trans people. And by extension, the girl I love. She even saw the post and was hurt. So naturally I’m going to be a bit upset. 

Look, you’ve been mostly nice before this, and thats the reason why I unfollowed you instead of straight up blocking you. And I say mostly because youve sent more than a few asks that pushed boundaries and made me uncomfortable even after I told you to stop.

And I hate that i have to publish this ask, but you went on anon so i guess i just have to call you out in public. 

If you really want to repair anything, it wouldnt hurt to start by apologizing. But, I will break down each of your statements and explain why they are harmful just in case you truly dont understand. 

So, heres what you said, broken down: 

It’s not that I don’t like people who are one gender physically but identify as another gender. 

Its blindingly obvious how this is transphobic. You are literally saying trans people are not the gender they identify as, or at least not completely. Thats bad.

Trans people arent physically this or mentally that. They just are the gender they identify as, and they always were. Telling a trans person they are physically another gender can trigger dysphoria, which does hurt a trans person, even physically, so yes, your “opinion” literally harms trans people. Also spreading these ideas or justifying this sort of thing as “just an opinion” allows the spread of hate that causes trans people to get literally attacked and killed. Theres that too.

It’s the fact there are so many terms and ways to go with all of it. 1 guy I know I don’t know if he prefers to be called male or female, His girlfriend I’m not sure if she is male or female, I’m not sure the genders of the girl who is in a relationship with a lesbian.

why cant you just call them what gender they are, itd make this much less difficult to read

Also once again, you are implying that their gender identity isnt what they actually are with the “one is a boy, one is a girl” thing. Stop that.

So, two gender questioning individuals are in a relationship and you dont know if they count as lesbians? Did i read that right? If so, thats how it shouldve been worded, and that was probably much less confusing.

This hypothetical is rather pointless. Why does it matter if they are lesbians or not? They can figure it out themselves. 

 I’m just so confused and the one thing I know is that it can be quite rude to say “Are you a guy or a girl genetically because I am not sure” because if your assumption is wrong then you offend a guy by calling him a girl or a girl by calling her a guy. If you are right then they might get upset that you don’t use their preferred gender. 

Why do you even need to ask what a person is “genetically”? What does that even mean? 

If you’re confused about someone’s gender, ask them what gender they are, then there you go! Its not that the issue is complicated, you’re making it complicated. Especially with the word gymnastics you use because you just cant call them trans people for some reason. 

TL:DR I’m ok with people being seeing themself as one gender and physically being a different one, but we need to stop having the 100 tiny tumblr sexes and preferences. We got too many things and it’s confusing.

already covered this so yeah 

When you are talking about trans people, just say “trans people.” Its not that hard or confusing. 

Neither is gender identity. 

Believe it or not, trans people dont usually get mad at you for calling them the wrong gender if you legit didnt know. Just ask. 

Also, Dani has this to add: The best way to find out someones gender without making them uncomfortable is to introduce yourself. “Hi, I’m ____ and my pronouns are ____, nice to meet you!”

Hopefully I gave you the tools to stop being transphobic. Or you can continue playing the victim and claiming I shouldn’t be upset that you pretty much insulted my girlfriend. Its up to you now. 

#Anonymous