#easier to forget your real life and just watch shitty cartoons. idk. i shouldn't even be blogging this stuff publicly lol

[oscill4te]

One day i will not be obsessed with the cr/amp twins. Maybe i will like it a normal amount. Or maybe not even like it at all one day. I intertwined that show too deeply with my identity. Generally when I am super hyperfixated on something, i am using it as escapism from thinking about my real life.

#like to me 2023 is just mass escapism via an obscure cartoon and internet addiction. kind of sad. #2022 was awful though so 2023 is a mass improvement but damn #some parts of myself looove the show. others parts hate it for what it represents in my life. #i also should stop using tumblr/my phone or at least limit my usage. but. one day at a time #escapism is just nice in general #txt #not in the longrun but it feels so great in the moment being immersed in something that isnt your real life #when your current real life sucks ass but feel too scared to make those big changes that are essential #to you being happy and stable in the long run #easier to forget your real life and just watch shitty cartoons. idk. i shouldn't even be blogging this stuff publicly lol #like i am genuinely not well. i am a benign lolcow. #who overshares and tbh i never even expected this blog to even get followers o.o so now im like #maybe i should stop. i dont know. find better outlets. lol #maybe try to connect with my realworld. my brain desperately doesn't want to leave the fantasy escapism world it created though #i feel like an age regressed loser and idk I want to shape up so badly #im 24 i should be way more ahead than this yknow. i just stagnated in 2023. because 2021-2022 was so awful #idk its complicated man #like 2023 was needed. but it is such a hazy blur. it feels so unreal. we are still in 2023 and it already feels so far away #i feel i need to try to change my life and priorities in 2024. i just have no roadmap. no people to ask.. #i have to teach myself on my own. ill probably make a lot of mistakes but thats okay #my next goal is to try a new job even though it scares the everliving shit out of me #i accepted i wont be able to drive safely so I need to carefully plan. i need to be okay with taking risks. i need too. #i need to work on my tardiness social skills and my appearance so I can get a new job too without insta rejection #i dont know. i want to prove my family wrong too and have good things. good mental health. financially stable. takes care of herself. #ik spite is a shitty motivator. but i just wanna prove it to myself. that I am capable of m #okay too many tags smh. gonna stop here