#ernest hemingway net negative on society

[bilbobagginsomebabez]

while i am drunk and an american lit major, i just want to make a few things clear about ernest hemingway okay

1. please shut up about hemingway forever and i am not kidding. i know he was scarred and traumatized by the war and how it was so tragic he resorted to using simple sentences but i cannot stress to you enough that he spent the remainder of his years after the trauma following pablo picasso around so he could have sex with groupies. did you ever read a hemingway novel and think ‘wow this guy is a misogynist!’ ? it’s because he was a misogynist who literally structured his life around sleeping with groupies. you do not have to respect a man who structured his life around sleeping with groupies even if he was so traumatized that he used simple sentences in his Big American Novel. you really don’t. have to respect him. you don’t. i promise you that you do not.

2. ernest hemingway DIED in 1961 ok. they did not have KEYBOARDS in 1961. they had typewriters AT BEST and that shit was still clunky. at the time that he lived, hemingway’s “write drunk edit sober” shit required A LOT MORE MOTOR FUNCTION THAN NOW. ok you still had to be able to hold a pen and string together thought OR tap out one letter at a time on a big ass typewriter. you literally had to be more sober in order to write. i can personally sit here and clack clack on my keyboard and i need to move my fingers in a very peck-peck simple motion for that. physical writing and typewriters are not as easy. this is not a defense of ernest hemingway just a reminder that he wasn’t as drunk as he made you believe when he was writing simple sentences. he just wasn’t very imaginative even when drunk. it’s a mark against him

#look most writers were drunk as shit when they came up with their novels #this is not new #literally ben fucking franklin drank BEER every single day on the JOB in a print shop ok THEY WERE DRUNK #and THEY ALSO DEFINITELY FOUGHT IN AND LIVED THROUGH WARS #absolutely none of them went 'im so traumatized i can only think in simple sentences' #and managed to trick the rest of the old white men into thinking that was a GOOD EXCUSE! #ernest hemingway net negative on society #honestly he was not so traumatized that 'more boring writing' was suddenly compelling #wwii was the ultimate excuse for white men to descend into the pits of their own myopic pains and pretend it was a universal message for all #ernest hemingway was NOT actually that fucking good sorry to tell you! he's fucking boring! #simple sentences and shit description aren't suddenly compelling bc you were traumatized! we were all traumatized! #get some fucking skill and describe it or shut up i do not care about your groupie woes #HE IS NOT GOOD I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL #EVERY SINGLE THING HE SAID OTHER PEOPLE HAVE SAID BETTER #AND THEY SAID IT IN A WAY YOU WANT TO REPEAT INSTEAD OF UNQUOTABLE SIR CANTFUCKATALL HEMINGWAY #unbearable that he's somehow in the canon #out of ALL THE FUCKING CHOICES #mine