#everytime im like oh ok living here isnt the absolute worst

[soldier-poet-king]

God FORBID I want to take up space OUTSIDE of my 100 sq ft basement bedroom-prison, in this house, where I LIVE

#franposting #everytime im like oh ok living here isnt the absolute worst #shit like this happens #for fucks sake all I wanted was to set up bro 2 small weight bench in the downstairs bathroom #WHICH IS THE SAME SQUARE FOOTAGE AS MY ACTUAL BEDROOM #its HUGE and doesnt have yknow a bed desk dresser etc #and no one uses the downstairs bathroom except me and my dad #but NOOOO my mother is insanelt controlling and it makes visual clutter and she refuses to treat her actual obsessiveness #so i was given the option of the garage (cold dark spiders and we dont have an interior entrance qnd also its full of my dads shit) #or laundry/storage room (cold unfinished full of spiders and dust which im ALLERGIC TO #and also it doesnt have a door or a lock and i would straight up rather lift with the gym bros #than in view of my family #the gym bros are LESS judgemental #y do u think i do all my physio excercises in the bathroom or bedroom behind a locked door #i dont want to be PERCEIVED by my family #god forbid i try to exist outside my room prison #cant use the downstairs lounge bc allergic to upholstery #upstairs is loud and no privacy and everytime i sit in view of anyone #and also theres just no space????? plus my mother is always watching hallmark movies at volume 500 #ITS A VERY SMALL BUNGALOW WITH TOO MANY PPL #but also i cant afford to move out in the GTA and thats where the jobs are wnd where my job is #and im not moving in with randos and have no friends in the area needing roomates #literally fucking kill me #everydya i miss my shoebox apartment. it was so #so so small and lonely but it was safe and private and mine and i was allowed to exist without judgement and rules #im not an exquisitely unwell suciidal teej anymore but i still feel like im losing parts of myself #theyre dying and im never going to be whole and it just keeps shrinking and shrinking #and i KNOW im weird and have odd needs for my living situation to keep me mentally sane #and its selfish and whiny of me to want very specific kind of roomate and not strangers in this economy #or to just live alone