#exordiablogging

[laurelnose]

like. tfw you’re mathematically predestined for damnation and trying to make the utilitarianist best of it and then your ███ saves your life in a way that is so morally repugnant to you that you somehow end up shacking up with Mr. All-Caps I Love Genocide because he’s got an idea that will save your entire species from hell

tfw you’re the most senior scientist left because everyone else fucking died, including your boss because of information you gave him that turned out to be incomplete, and you’re struggling with a contagious infocancer with vectors that are opaque to you and one of your people is exposed, but she’s not showing symptoms yet and if you tell anyone they’ll fucking murder her, and you love her, and how far is too far to go to contain a threat like this?

tfw you’re isolated from your home and people and struggling to maintain a normal social life because of the trauma of something heinous you were forced to do as a child and an alien crashlands in your bathroom and tells you, we’re soulmates, serendura, our destinies are intertwined, I need to obtain a weapon that will save your species from enslavement and you’re the only who can help me because our souls match, oh btw mine is ontologically evil. jsyk.

tfw you and your best friend since childhood start an organization to do extrajudicial murder of people who will never face normal justice together but he does way more extrajudicial murder than you thought he was going to, so you expose him to his wife, your other best friend from childhood, and she dumps both of you forever, so now it’s just you and him, locked together, you hate him, you love him, you can’t let him do anything as evil as that ever again, don’t think too hard about the part that you did

tfw an alien shows up in your office and says do exactly what I tell you or I’m destroying the entire fucking planet, and you’re like, well, fuck, okay, I may have to commit some true atrocities, but there’s nothing that can possibly be worse than the extinction of humanity, and it never even occurs to you that you could have bargained with him before selling out Earth until it’s almost too late

#IT’S MORAL INJURY AND SURVIVOR’S GUILT ALL THE FUCKING WAY DOWN!!! #exordiablogging