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zecretsanta · 4 years

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Regarding the Events of the Past

To: @erisofimladris From: @akane-crashkey

I chose this because I really enjoy the Junepei ship and angst, but for the longest time, I genuinely struggled to find an idea that would work. I ended up rewriting my submission several times with different ideas. And then something happened to me that lead to me getting this idea. While this story isn’t the greatest or realistic, it’s true to my emotions.

JunePei angst, tw for alcoholism, emetophobia

Even though he hated the taste, he couldn’t stop himself from downing the entire 550ml bottle of vodka. The memories had been too much for him to bear. He had seen people engage in human organ trafficking like they were kids trading candy at a playground and to make things worse, Akane wasn’t here. She was away on a mission for crash-keys.

Normally, when things got this bad, Akane would be there for him, listening to him as he cried over what he’d seen; the suffering. He would rest his head on her shoulder and she would stroke his hair, all without judging him. Somehow, this always made him feel better.

Now that she was gone, Junpei’s emotions were out of control and the memories kept getting worse and worse until he couldn’t take it. He had told his therapist about these memories (Akane had signed him up for therapy against his wishes about six months ago) and his therapist had told him about focusing on something else to help the thoughts go away.

In Junpei’s case, he would focus on Akane and their shared childhood memories and bonds. With time, the memories would erase themselves from his mind and Junpei wouldn’t have to focus on them anymore.

Without Akane here, that wasn’t the case. The memories kept on getting worse and worse which was why he turned to alcohol. He had driven over to the liquor store to buy a medium-sized bottle of vodka.

After an hour, he had finished the entire bottle and its effects began to take place. The memories became less profound the more time that went on, and by the time he had finished the whole bottle, they were completely gone.

What replaced those memories were slightly less pleasant effects. Instead of the intrusive thoughts in his mind, he kept hearing an annoying buzzing sound that reverberated all the way throughout his skull. That lead to a constant feeling of nausea that hit his stomach. When he stumbled to the toilet to throw up, he kept tripping over his own feet. When that happened, all he could think about was how angry Akane would be if he managed to puke on the ground.

He laid over the toilet bowl for a while, wondering if there would be anything else that his body would force him to vomit up. Thankfully, there wasn’t, and he rested his head on the toilet lid, panting, as he flushed. After that, he washed his hands.

But hey, at least the memories are gone, Junpei thought to himself as the dizziness got too much to bear and he closed his eyes in an attempt to make it all go away. Eventually, unconsciousness overtook him and he passed out, hitting his head on the bathroom counter as he collapsed onto the ground.

====

When Junpei woke up again, he was surrounded by an annoyingly bright light, beeping, and an excruciating pain pounding in his skull. It took two seconds for him to realize that he was in the hospital. What happened to me? Junpei thought to himself, looking around for some semblance of familiarity.

His eyes latched onto Akane’s. Her eyes were red-rimmed and tear-filled, as though she had been crying for a while. This created confusion for Junpei. She was supposed to be on a Crash-Keys mission for the next three days. So why was she here? And why was he in the hospital in the first place.

“Junpei, why?” Akane asked, holding onto Junpei’s right hand. While he hadn’t realized it until now, there was an IV line placed into his left hand. “Why what?” Junpei croaked.

“Why did you do that to yourself?” Akane asked, bursting into more tears. She grabbed a tissue out of her sweater’s pocket and blotted her eyes with it. Suddenly, he remembered that he had drunk an entire bottle of

Vodka but he didn’t remember anything else after that.

Junpei then felt the memories, the ones of human trafficking, the ones where he investigated a child trafficking operation and the pain he had seen in their eyes. He remembered seeing Guy X, and how he had initially thought how disgusting it was as opposed to the fact that it had been an actual human once. He tightly grasps Akane’s hand as tears form. He faces the memories from other timelines, holding Akane as she slowly dies. Watching Snake die in an incinerator. Slowly getting poisoned and watching Akane struggling to breathe because Carlos failed to pick the right locker.

“To make them go away,” Junpei whispers, holding back a sigh. “It was too much to bear.” He ignores the searing pain in his head (which seemed to be getting worse by the minute) and looks at Akane with his tear-filled eyes.

“If it weren’t for our ESPER connection, you would have died, Junpei. You sent out a message through the morphogenetic field that you weren’t feeling well. I tried texting you and contacting you back but there was no response so I called the paramedics and they found you in the bathroom, choking on your vomit as you had a seizure. You could have died Junpei!”

The other shoe fell and Akane began crying, “I was so worried about you! I had to take a plane home and leave the rest of the mission to Aoi and Light, who had to join in at the last moment. You scared me so much and when I found out you were in the hospital, I felt so bad that I wasn’t there for you. Especially because I know you needed me.”

Akane blotted her eyes with the tissue, “You were in a coma for a few days because you hit your head on the counter when you fell and your brain began to swell. They thought you were going to need surgery and you’re so lucky that you didn’t.”

“Kanny, I’m so sorry,” Junpei apologized, trying not to cry because seeing his fiance so upset was making him upset as well. He now understood why his head hurt so much and why he had a line running into his hand. “I really am…” he whispered, tears slowly trickling down his face.

“No, I’m sorry,” Akane apologized, squeezing her fiance’s hand harder. “I should have been there for you. If it weren’t for that mission, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

Junpei looked at Akane with tears in his eyes. He blinked them away and focused on her eyes. He couldn’t let the memories overwhelm him, not now. “So, has anyone else been here to visit?” Junpei asked in an attempt to change the subject.

“Well, this so happens to be the hospital that Diana works at so whenever she has free time, she pops in here. Aoi and Light came back from the mission yesterday, so they stopped by for a bit when they got back, however they left rather early because they were tired. Sigma has been here whenever Diana’s been off work and Phi’s been here frequently as well,” Akane replied, giving Junpei a shaky smile.

“When am I getting out?” Junpei asked.

“Well you were in a coma for three days and they brought you out of it today; that’s why you’re not hooked up to all of the machines that one would expect you to be. Diana said you could probably be released in about a week or so. You did have some awful brain swelling,” Akane said.

Almost as if she heard her name or something, Diana popped into the room, her red hair tied up into a ponytail. She was wearing blue-green scrubs that so happened to have a small picture of a cartoon character on the right side of her chest. “Junpei, you’re awake,” she said.

“I guess,” Junpei said, scratching his head awkwardly.

====

“So, aren’t you glad you get out today?” Akane asked her fiance. In the week that he had been in the hospital, he had been put on a new dosage of antidepressant medication as well as Paxel to help control his Post-traumatic-stress-disorder.

“I guess,” Junpei says. While the time he had spent in the hospital had involved a lot of boredom, he had been under close monitoring due to suffering a brain injury. Thankfully, his condition never worsened and he was free to leave today.

On his bedside table, he had a vase of flowers, along with some cards, and a singular balloon. Aoi had given him a repurposed birthday card that said, “Getting a get well soon card is like a reward for not dying.” While Akane didn’t really like that very much, Junpei found it hilarious and couldn’t stop laughing when he saw it for the first time.

“We’re leaving this card in the trash,” Akane said, gesturing to his card from Aoi. Junpei shot his girlfriend a disappointed look. “I want to keep it,” he said, placing the card in the suitcase that Akane had brought for him.

“Fine, do whatever you want,” Akane said, rolling her eyes at Junpei. “Just so you know, you’re not allowed to put that atrocious card on our bedside table.”

“I wasn’t planning to,” Junpei said with a huge grin on his face. He wasn’t initially planning on doing it but now that Akane mentioned it, he planned on it. She wouldn’t be able to stop it.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Akane giggled, “If I see it out there, it’s either going to be going in the trash or you’re sleeping on the couch for a week,” she joked.

Junpei continued sorting through the things in his hospital room. While he had done most of the packing last night, he had a few things left to sort out. He generally preferred a cleaner environment and his own hospital room was proof of that. Even though Junpei had stayed at the hospital for around a week, the only proof that he had stayed there was the gifts on his bedside table.

Akane’s face twists into a less playful expression and one that meant seriousness. “Junpei, if things ever get that bad again, you need to tell me. I don’t care if I’m not there, I will find someone there for you. But I don’t want to go through this ever again, okay?” Akane says, gripping onto Junpei’s left hand. The IV in it had been removed a few days ago as Junpei was no longer in need of intravenous medications.

“I promise,” Junpei said, kissing Akane on the cheek.

“Now what do you say to getting burgers when we’re out of here?” Akane asks, her face returning to the prior playful expression.

“I’m down for that. I’m sick of this gross hospital food anyways.”

#zero escape #erisofimladris #akane-crashkey #junpei/akane #zecret santa 2019

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