#for cas the kitchen is *void* of duty - somewhere he can relax and watch tv without expectations to do any work - he gets to bask

[shallowseeker]

in the nihilism script, dean is in a time loop, beheading his own desires as he stays in stasis, sublimating his love for cas through work and through miming desire for Pamela-as-standin

dean’s always pushed his own happiness to the wayside (example: back at Sonny’s, with Robin)

anyhoo…

he kills “Drunk” and “Raincoat” over and over, symbolically killing his and Cas’s hunger for one another.

courtesy @spnscripthunt 14x10 nihilism

#spn 14x10 #kill your own desires to prioritize raising and supporting everyone else - the script underlined this in a way the shot version did not #dean’s bar was like when the housebound parent breaks out of expectations to have something of their own #yeah dean loves kitchens but ofc dean doesn’t find the kitchen to be a respite as much as others bc the kitchen is at its core more work #ergo the kitchen is not wholly escapist or relaxing #the caretaker will not find quite the same respite in the home although they ofc love and labor with that love #he’s having a hallmark parent moment - reaching for something nice something of his own #dean keeps the kitchen nice for everyone else but the bar represents an actual career #he’s failing ofc and the scooby doo villain wants him to sell out so it's not perfection he won't allow himself that #it's not HAPPINESS it's merely contentedness as au michael said since happiness would tick dean's danger meter #of note - dean doesn’t conceptualize the kitchen as cas does in season 11 - it's not pure escapism for him #for cas the kitchen is *void* of duty - somewhere he can relax and watch tv without expectations to do any work - he gets to bask #after coming home FROM work but escapism WILL look different for the keepers of the kitchen #vampires can mean so many things in SPN - here it's hunger #usually it's perfection and black-and-white thinking as AU michael remarks in 13x01 #occasionally it's a devolution to pure tribalism - that family is only blood - as in season 15