#fuck. fuck I just changed my art blog insta YouTube AND neocities to lynnscribbles tho!!!! the fucking work to change everything I swear

[sanchoyo]

well talking to my mom went well (I just told her I’m really unsure rn. Her first response was ‘oh well what’s the rush, ur not dating rn are u?’ Which. What does that have to do with gender??? It made me stop and laugh at least lmao). Also she suggested I just keep the clothes in a box or smth for a month or two so that if I change my mind abt dresses and skirts I don’t throw them out and regret it. Which was an awesome suggestion bc quite frankly I’m very emotionally attached to my clothes. A lot of the dresses are real vintage or actually worth a lot too and very unique and…a part of me wants to try and rework them and sew them into either shirts or pants bc they’d fuck severely but 1. I don’t have a sewing machine 2. I…feel weird about modifying such old clothes. It feels kind of bad…like what if I fuck them up bc lack of sewing experience!! I’ve only rly done basic mending (…and I guess that Ichigo cosplay years ago but even that didn’t turn out great bc it was my first project. aaa)

#sanchoyorambles #this post is 90% anxiety oops #also what if I am a dude. and I have to tell my dad. nightmarish #coming out to him was hard enough the first time 😭 it’s so awkwardddd #….I kind of want to look into t but I’m broke and also scared of needles #am I …a guy….?? #I don’t know. we r looking into it. 🫣 #fuck I already didn’t like my name so much so I’ve been playing w the idea of legally changing it for a year or so anyway #I….might be looking at baby names websites #fuck. fuck I just changed my art blog insta YouTube AND neocities to lynnscribbles tho!!!! the fucking work to change everything I swear #rolls around in agony #Lynn is neutral enough maybe 😭 #I knowwww doing it legally cost money tooooo 💀 can things be free for me bc I’m swag. or . #like ofc these are all hypotheticals but umm. hm #🫣……🕴️ #if…I do end up being a guy it’ll still be in a pretty fem way like let’s be real #my level of whimsy won’t change . I will be masc like ken from barbie. or like rococo dandies . etc. still pretty pastel an frilly #…so still gnc…ashsjfkckn #again I’m still not entirely sure I’m just testing things out. in the gender trying room so to speak #I AM confused a bit bc I thought I was a lesbian but really how much I love women is my only tie to lesbianism #so I might think abt that label too which feels bittersweet #I love the flag I have it on several jackets as pins and patches!!! #closest second label might just be queer but I dunno …will need to reflect #if it doesn’t fit anymore after I think on it I’ll Marie Kondo it and thank it for its time before replacing it I guess 😭