#I AM confused a bit bc I thought I was a lesbian but really how much I love women is my only tie to lesbianism | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kenjiyabuki · 4 months

Text

so here are some thoughts about DMD Friendship the Reality while we are nearing the end

yeah yeah its not that deep but actually no one caring/talking about a show makes me want to write a LONG ASS POST bc i cant get gratification from going through the tags and reading opinions lmaoooooo so HERE damn okkk i will make the content i want to see in the world i guess dont mind me......😞

im not even the biggest Domundi fan but i was intrigued by the premise of this show. i mean it's a basically fake dating show (like one of their challenge rewards was getting to sleep in a suite together as if they are there to date for real) and the end prize isnt just an acting opportunity as it comes w the big decision of choosing a looooooong time acting partner. so i wanted to see how they would do it. BOC did a similar thing w The Hidden Character which i dropped halfway in bc it was too long and i found the challenges to be irrelevant to the ending goal. this show is the opposite of that and thats why ive been enjoying it.

it is edited to be concise (only 5 eps) and honestly, is quite tranquil. all the challenges were about things they will be required to do in the future as DMD actors/idols and stakes aren't even that high. You could always guess who would win before they even started (((like of course broody model guys won the photoshoot challenge and guy w two series under his belt won the acting one, DUH))) but it was still enjoyable to watch. show's goal isn't to generate tension and competitiveness. it is more of a workshop/chemistry building camp and also a way to introduce the new generation and get the fans warm up/attached to them.

as i spent time in bl fandom sphere, i've come to realize introducing a new gen is tricky. i thought everyone would be ecstatic to see new blood and a lil bit of mix and match but BL fans are reaaaaaaaaaaally attached to their faves and generally see newcomers as threats who will take opportunities from their already neglected (!) precious babies (e.g. just couple weeks ago FortPeat fans were protesting the new lesbian side couple in the upcoming show for stealing screen time from their faves, which is a joke in itself). this kind of show is genius way to get people to warm up to idea of new faces. at the end of the the day, these fans' weakness is two beautiful boys indulging in sweet moments they can be delulu over and considering how ships were already born from the first episode, DMD FTR succeeded in their goal.

LETS TALK ABOUT THE BOYS :-) *this starts playing*

I had to make this during first ep bc they are all dark haired boys w similar builds so I kept confusing them lmaoooooo (Tle not pictured as he joined later)

i will firstly talk about the fan favorite possible "couples";

KengNamping, the quiet visual couple and yes I love em!!!! they were kinda the only "conflict" in this very conflict free competition.

is Keng the CALMEST person I've ever seen? Latte is laid back too but Keng is just seems zen. sometimes (in the face of conflict) he just seemed hard to read but mostly he has such a calming presence. honestly, he should open an ASMR channel if this acting gig doesn't work out.

Namping also comes off very warm and graceful. him being "wow I'm finally in the winner suite" to Keng after finally getting chosen in ep4 made me laugh like DAMN he really was offended by what happened in ep1 and kept letting it slip. Idc, you are so right my prince and don't ever let Keng forget what he did to you...

when it comes to the possibility of them as a couple: i am kinda here for it while also not knowing if i actually believe in their "moments" in the show? Namping definitely set his sights on him from the beginning but Keng seemed nonchalant about it. Keng finally choosing Namping after his win, their sweet moment on the bed etc. seemed to me like classic reality show moment prompted by production to fit a certain narrative WHILE ThomasKong's pseudo-date-night chats seemed very real and spontaneous.

they do visually have chemistry, i'm not gonna act like i wasn't blushing when Keng trying to flirt during dinner or Namping softly touching a sleepy Keng's chin in the bed etc. Or even in ep2, when Namping tries to confront Keng about his pick but they are too timid and just unable to talk about it openly!!! arrghhh it's a hard to watch moment but still, made them more intriguing because they had such a tension between them. it would be a shame if it wasn't explored more. that tension can be channeled into an angsty series, just saying...

So, they def have a long way to go in their bond and arent comfortable like LatteFirst or ThomasKong but still, they are a strong contender and I would be glad to see them as a couple in a show. Namping already got my attention in the acting challenge and wonders can be achieved w a lil bit of workshop. they got the juice already!!!

Now, lets talk about ThomasKong.............

me watching Thomas relentlessly chatting Kong up since THE FIRST EPISODE

so I knew LatteFirst are set be a side couple in upcoming Love Upon a Time but i was confused to see why everyone on Twitter was already going cuckoo over these two random boys until i saw them interacting... Wow, like Thomas really came here w one mission: get Kong and leave.

because Thomas is such a flirt like DAMNNN😳😳😳😳he needs to be jailed for carrying lethal amounts of charm... IT MUST BE SAID: I love his fits w those thin glasses, he should've been wearing those in those office BLs he was in because he has been serving "office siren". Tiktok girlies eat your heart out.

while Kong isn't the best at acting or singing (he is the best KengNamping shipper tho and i LOVE a fudanshi BL actor), he definitely would win Mr. Congeniality if they were giving that title. he naturally and effortlessly has great on screen charisma. he is a certified cutie and the only one who can get real full belly laughs from Thomas!!!

i think what they managed in the acting challenge is the testament to their palpable chemistry. acting wise they weren't perfect (naturally, their uneven acting experience levels were apparent) but they were the only one who managed to tonal shift in their scenes. it's because they were the only ones who played into the romantic subtext of the scene. they also held eye contact for the longest (because they are comfortable w each other and not shy!!!), which elevated their chemistry and made me AND the judges giggle and roll our hair and kick our feet and shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

they are obviously the most likely to win the show and they deserve it too. no matter the result of the show, i want see them carrying a series as mains because they can and should. i also believe DMD won't fumble their bag, so i am not worried about it.

to conclude, I will quote Zee,

then we come to LatteFirst, the kinda established couple: in the ep5 preview, we see First trying to choose between Latte and the newcomer Tle, which seemed random to me and could be a production touch to create conflict in this very smooth sailing show.

i loved seeing Latte being nonchalant about the possibility of First choosing someone else, what a laid back guy. like Mio in THC, every BL reality show needs a half asleep and occasionally funny dude.

now i am thinking; what if First chose Tle, would he also replace Latte in LUAT bc DMD doesn't really fuck w mixing matching their couples. i honestly don't know where did all that come from but i feel like the result wont be too shocking, First and Latte are already really close and comfortable and got The Chemistry. need i remind of Latte punching the air a la Judd Nelson at the end of The Breakfast Club when it was announced they both chose each other for the dinner date? and their sweet and comfortable banter on that said date??? let's put our pens to work and write a friends to lovers rom-com for the boys based on that material please...

i dont think they are likely to win but might be strong contender. i just want to see them as a side couple in LUAT (hopefully this year!!!!) so they can develop themselves and their bond a little bit more before getting to a main couple level. their sweet friendship shouldn't go to waste!!! (is it obvious i am more drawn to BL couples who are besties in real life?)

damn this post is about to be a novella so i will make it short about Gems, TeeTee and Tle, i hope Gems won't be too upset about getting slighted again 😥 like i said, stakes aren't high on this show and results are always obvious: these guys are going back home empty handed, we all know it. they are all charismatic and VERYYY talented but i just felt like none of them really focused on "getting a partner" part of the show, not just the main challenges. even TeeTee who was picked by Thomas and Keng seemed kinda uninterested about partnering up. but you cant really force chemistry and i am sure they will get many more opportunities in the future. they already started their fanbase!!! i cant stand to see Gems so upset, i hope he wont be too sad.

these are my opinions. maybe the ending will do a whole 180 and idk, GemsKeng or TleKong or some other random couple will win, who knows???? cant wait to watch the new overly airbrush filtered, Cheewin directed DMD show up to like 5 episodes and then get bored and drop it and follow the rest from gifs!!! good luck to the boys <3

#dmd friendship the reality #ThomasKong #KengNamping #LatteFirst #domundi

12 notes · View notes

forabeatofadrum · 5 months

Text

Hey, hey, hey, thanks @cerriddwenluna for the tag. Happy Christmas December 10th to you too.

I have some news! The 4th chapter of my Klaine December Fanworks challenge is finally done (everyone cheers) and I have settled on a title. The chapter isn't even that long but the combination of not having time, having doubts about what I'm doing, prioritising my Secret Santa fic AND being fucking tired most of the time meant it took some time. Eh.

But before the chapter is up, have six sentences of the chapter. Yes, these are six sentences:

“Or, well, actually… it made me think, because how does all of this work? How do I know I’m gay, cause I told Quinn she doesn’t have to know, but then why do I?” “Well-” “And I know you’re right and it’s all up to me and I even said something similar to Quinn and I agree with it, but this is also all so confusing and weird cause the two of us genuinely thought we were totally straight half a year ago so how is it possible that I do know these things and she doesn’t, so do I even know anything or am I rushing into this, or maybe not, because Quinn said that all that matters to her is that she loves Denise and I get that because at the end of the day I know for sure I am madly in love with you, so there is no doubt that I am not straight, but then what gives that I also don’t have doubt that I am gay but she apparently has and should I even care because in the end I am happy with myself, but she seemed upset when I assumed she’s a lesbian, so I feel really bad about everything and now I have the feeling I have done something wrong in my journey because shouldn’t I be more confused like Quinn, because this all came out of nowhere for me as well.” Kurt needs a moment to process this and Blaine also sounds a bit out of breath. “Good morning to you,” Kurt says again.

Oh Blainers.

To be fair to him, sexuality is a mess.

Also, I mentioned my Secret Santa fic. I think I have planned an ending, I just need to write it, and I need a damn title. Titles. My enemy.

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @jinglejavey @coffeegleek @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @justgleekout @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @cutestkilla @wellbelesbian @artsyunderstudy @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @shrekgogurt @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @blackberrysummerblog @whatevertheweather @theotherhufflepuff

#tagged in #six sentence sunday

11 notes · View notes

aroaceconfessions · 1 year

Note

Hiii. So I may sound dumb for asking this and I don’t want to sound rude but how do you know you’re Ace? I’ve just found out about it but then I found out there’s different kinds and more? I’ve been questioning myself a lot and I genuinely don’t know what I am because there’s so many things that I get even more confused and I feel like I don’t fit in at all. I say im straight and I’ve said im straight but I don’t know. I always get asked if im lesbian because I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’ll be 25 next year. Heck, I’ve never even held hands with anyone (romantically), let alone kiss someone. My family and friends have asked me a few times if I’m gay or something because of it. I say I’m not, I don’t think I am. I’ve even thought maybe I’m bisexual because I’ve never been with a guy but then I think about it and I don’t think I can be romantically involved with a woman. I never wanted to get in a relationship while everyone was having their little boyfriends and girlfriends bc I thought it was too much of a hassle and it just didn’t interest me. I always thought they were too young (altho at the time we’d be the same age) and I just couldn’t see me getting with someone and doing all that stuff. Even now I just want to focus on myself and I don’t really think I want to get married or have kids. I’m okay with being alone. My family says that I’m saying that now and I’ll want to get married and have kids. I just haven’t met the right man but is it that? My friends tell me how great sex is and I need to hurry up and do it but I’m kind of scared. If we’re being honest the human anatomy scares me a bit. The lower parts of the body kinda gross me out? I don’t like watching porn or really talking about sex like that but I’m okay with reading it. I’m okay with art but not the real thing? I don’t know. Am I the weird one for being like this? Am I just stupid for questioning myself? Am I just straight with weird kinks?

Submitted February 6, 2023

#asexual #ace #aspec #acespec #questioning #genital repulsed #genitalia repulsed #sex averse

33 notes · View notes

tortillasconsal · 1 year

Text

I haven't made one of these so I thought why not while I'm getting more followers

About Myself...

My name is SindiNero, but I also go by Tortillasconsal. You people can call me Sindi or Tortilla.

I'm a 18 y/o Mexican, I am a nonbinary aromantic lesbian and I use they/them pronouns only!!

English isn't my first language despite being the main language of this account, so I apologize for any mistakes I make.

Currently I am very invested in creepypasta since I'm coming back to the fandom after like 5-6 years I think(? I'm writing my own AU but I doubt it'll be something big, right now I'm just making headcanons and some world building maybe. I also focus a lot on the Slenderbros bc they are very gender.

I do have a couple of crp OCs (and more outside the fandom), but I rather share them later on when I'm more comfortable with my audience.

My ask-box is always open if anyone wants to chat or ask for stuff, but if you want to DM me please ask there first. I get really confused with random messages from people I don't know.

Also, I talk a lot. So prepare to have a bunch of ridiculously long posts filled with excessive context and nonsense descriptions in random order because I can't talk normally.

I do both writing and art requests. You are free to ask for anything, but here is some stuff to follow:

You can ask for anything as long as it's appropriate and creepypasta related, asking for my original stuff outside of the crp fandom is ok too.

The style I do with art requests may vary depending on my time, the request and how much I'm familiarized with the character, but I usually try to do a simple doodle for time's sake.

I will do gory art, but don't expect much. I'm just not that experienced in that.

If you give me a list of characters to draw/write about I'll only pick one or two. Except if you're asking for the characters doing stuff together obviously.

The only OCs I'll draw and write for will be my friends'. If you come here asking for headcanons or art of your OC and idk you, I'll ignore you.

I take a shit ton of time on doing the requests, so please be patient with me, I'm lazy 😩

There will be a bunch of characters that I won't write about at first as I'm still learning about them, but eventually I'll do more.

Shitposting is always welcome.

Themes I don't write or do art about:

Ships or romance.

Smutt or Fluff.

Anything NSFW or suggestive.

I don't do fanfic or oneshots. I just don't have the mental capacity to focus on a story 💀 please just ask about headcanons or something else instead.

Characters I won't write or do art for:

Lazary and Lulu, or any other Chibi-Works character.

Julius the Dressmaker and Killian Lynch, or any other work made by SanityisforLosers.

Dr. Smiley.

Timelapse.

Pokepasta, gamingpasta (with the exception of B.E.N.) and MLP creepypastas.

Offenderman. But he's a special case. He's canon in my AU as the original version, I won't take prompts or requests for him and I won't write/draw much about him, the most I'll do is answer questions and do lore-bits when necessary. If enough people ask me to write my headcanons on a certain topic where I don't see any harm, I'll do it.

I also love Art Trades. Check out mi bio to see if they're open!

Other interests/likes of mine:

D&D

Fashion

Character Design

Ramblings

Smoking herbs like lavender or chamomile (weed too, but that is a secret)

Satanism

Glass Animals, Will Wood, Grandson, Cosmo Sheldrake, IDK HOW, Saint Motel, Tally Hall, Scene Queen, Miranda!, Cuarteto de Nos, Vete a la Versh, Molotov, Cartel de Santa.

My DNI List:

The basic (homophobes, transphobes, ableists, racists, etc...)

Anti-feminists, masculinists and people who don't support feminism.

People who support SnuffBomb, La Mishi Mish, Sanityisforlosers, GravezGrind and/or xXAmLuvsXx

Comshitters/Proshitters/Anti-Antis and their supporters.

People who think fiction doesn't affect reality and say "they're just pixels" like stfu.

People who say 'latinx' (you can refer to me as Latino or Latine, but please don't use that word)

My socials!!!

Instagram📷 tortillasconsal0

Twitter🐦 SindiNero69

Pinterest🖼️ SindiNero69 (in case you're interested in seeing my OCs' or Creepypasta MoodBoards)

Swag people you should follow

@the-catcake @schrodingers-seraph @realmysticalsorcery @ivydarkrose @dadumtss @ask-jeff-creepypasta @laliloon

25 notes · View notes

zarisdonut · 2 years

Text

The opinions that literally no one asked for

Alright so yesterday I finished Fate: The Winx Saga and here are all my thoughts.

Disclaimer: These are just my opinions, so it's okay if you don't agree w me.

First off, STELLATRIX.

Can't get them off my mind and I'm a 100% sure Beatrix is gonna come back so it's fine. I absolutely love their dynamic and honestly, I've spent all the eps just waiting for their scenes and I am not ashamed of it. Btw, Stella should've been a lesbian, but it's fine. As long as she's sapphic I don't really care.

Also, I'm pretty sure theyre gonna be canon. Like, all their relationship is so queercoded, with parallels w other ships and everything??? No way they're just gal pals. I refuse. So yeah, in other words, I am clowning hard, which is not surprising cause all I ever do in life is clown over sapphic non-canon ships apparently. (I have a long history abt that)

Musa

Musa, girl, what have they done to you? I didn't hate the haircut as much as I thought I would (even tho its not great) but the clothes???? Hello????? It was hard to watch.

Also, I was kind of surprised w the fact that I liked her "transition" from mind fairy to Specialist, so I'm pretty pleased with her storyline. I will say this: I wish she were sapphic. Not bc of anything specific, but I do remember having a moment where I shipped her w Stella, cause I made a whole fanfic in my head abt them, so yeah.

Also, riven and musa????? Look, I don't normally like m/f ships (specially if they're not in a sitcom). Like, I don't hate them, but they don't give me the buzz, yk. Most times I'm just neutral about them, but I gotta say, man, that Riven and Musa... God, I loved their scenes. I found their dynamic so interesting and the chemistry. THE CHEMISTRY. The slowburn is gonna burn so good.

Terra + Flora

V happy with the fact that Terra is a lesbian cause we need more lgbtq+ people in this show (and in life in general). I will say her storyline w the specialist girl is a bit odd cause they don't really focus much on her (which they obvs should've done that) and isn't she dating someone else when they have their first kiss???? A bit confused abt that.

Other than that, I liked her storyline, and even tho her coming out isn't the best one Ive ever seen, I was pretty pleased. Especially the moment where she tells the whole group and she wants to dismiss it w the rug or smth (I forgot lol) and Stella comes in and hugs her???? Melts my heart.

Moving on, I didn't know how I was gonna feel abt Flora?? And I still don't know lol. I will say that the actress did a good job, but I think they should've added more bonding scenes between Flora and the other girls cause it just didn't feel like they were best friends just like the rest of the group? But maybe it's just me. Still, I don't know how I feel about Flora yet. Like, Im pretty sure I like her, but I think it's more about what she represents, (which is the cartoon character) than what she actually is. I definitely need to see more of her.

Also, the relationship w Terra,, it made sense but also it was too predictable. Like, its not bad but I did find it a tad basic and I wish they made it a bit differently. Like, I know it's hard to innovate but idk, maybe add a little something that makes them stand out? But again, maybe that's just me.

Aisha

Idk what to say abt her tbh, I just like her lol. I will say that it didn't make a lot of sense the way she reacted when she first met Grey (I think that's his name but in case its not, I'm talking abt the guy lol). Like, bro, the lake is not yours, chill. So it was a bit hard for me to get into the relationship but eventually I kinda did, so yeah. V sad that the first boyfriend she has, turns out to be a blood witch. The bestie cannot catch a break lol.

I will say that, (a bit of constructive criticism here) I find Aisha as a character a bit flat. And not only her, I think that in general all the characters except maybe Beatrix and even Riven(?) seem pretty shallow to me. Or maybe like, not shallow but as if they haven't still found their own spark? Idk if this makes sense but I feel like most characters fall into these cliches and tropes, which is totally fine, cause nowadays literally everyone needs to fall into one of these, like it's literally unavoidable. But baby, you need to add a bit of their own spark to make them stand out. To make them memorable, yk? So yeah, I wish they stopped and tried to work on the characters a bit more. Like, Stella, Musa and even Terra are not as bad (even tho imo they a bit of work from the writers wouldn't hurt cause Im pretty sure the actresses make more than half of the work in this aspect) but Aisha, Flora, Sky and especially Bloom... It's bad yall. It's very bad (Will explain the Bloom thing later, don't hate me just yet)

BTW: I say all of this out of all the love in my heart, cause I believe in all the characters and I see the potential, and what they could become. And I hate the fact that I can see it and they're just wasting it so yeah. Don't hate me besties <333

Bloom + Sky

I'm sorry but Bloom is the most basic female main character from a sci-fi tv show you can ever have. Like, bro, just put a little more effort into creating her, please. Like, I'm begging. Maybe it's just me, but the bestie is missing personality (not dragging the actress, just the writers and how they did it), cause yeah, its fine if she wants to sacrifice herself all the time, or if she wants to do everything alone cause she's special n stuff but it's like her whole personality is revolving around her having the Dragon Flame. Which yeah, it is important and it is a v important part of her life but dude. Dont make her one-dimensional.

This also happens w Sky btw. And ofc when you put a bland character w another bland character everything gets... well. Not great. But I won't get into their relationship bc honestly, I do not care. Like I said before, m/f relationships don't give me the buzz so yeah.

To wrap it up...

I did like the second season. I would like to say I liked it more than the first one but I barely remember anything of it, so yeah, lol (Im a horrible fan, I know). I will say that idk what it is, that's making me continue the show, cause I normally only consume sapphic/lgbt media, but here we are. And I did want to leave it a few times cause the heavy straight content is so strong, but Im glad I continued it. And I hope they get renewed for a third season cause I really believe that it has potential and yeah, that's all for now ig. Maybe I'll do another post talking abt other stuff, like plotwise or smth. We'll see. But it'll def be shorter than this cause holy shit, this is long for a person who "isn't v into the show anyways" (that's me lying to myself btw lol)

N e ways idk whos gonna read this, but on the off chance someone has read through all my bullshit and is reading these last sentences, woah, I'm impressed. I cannot believe you've stuck around to know all the thoughts of a random stranger on the internet abt a show abt fairies lol.

N e ways, I love you and have a good day <3333

Kindly,

The random stranger on the internet.

#fate the winx saga #stella #beatrix #stellatrix #fate spoilers #bloom #musa #flora #terra #sky #riven #musa x riven #stella x beatrix #aisha #just adding tags as i think of them lol

48 notes · View notes

jewishbarbies · 10 months

Note

Hey so https://twitter.com/brdgesbvrn/status/1676670061250064384?s=20

this discourse has been going on for a while and i am soooo confused. I am a lesbian, always have been and my partner came out as trans and that didn't change my love for him, we are still together. But- i am still..a lesbian? That's what i have always been, that's why i was taken to the church, was threatened with corrective bullshit and - not my proudest moment - but as a kid i have envied bisexual people a bit because i was so scared of my identity that i thought that if i was somehow capable of loving men i would never have come out and would have felt safe. Now obviously i realise how that's not how that works but i have always been a lesbian, that's a label that has shaped by life experiences so much and I don't want to change that. I know where this conversation is coming on but they are being too - simple? Into robotic boxing definitions? It's not that simple to me. It's not that simple to my partner either. He himself identifies as both a lesbian and trans and it's just idek the internet is agreeing on such a massive scale that our opinion is wrong i am having second thoughts?

I guess the question would be, would you still be attracted to him if you met him now vs pre transition? sometimes love doesn’t have anything to with sexuality in the sense of a situation like this where you’ve already fallen in love with the person, and you love them enough that the transition isn’t effecting your attraction to them. I think this is probably the exception and not the rule and I think that’s where conversations like this come from. the vast majority see the labels as they are and it’s only some people here and there that have these different experiences where the labels feel inadequate. sometimes your identity itself can feel like a part of you, so it’s hard to come to terms with it changing or evolving because you’ve spent so much time as that identity. it’s really a person-specific situation and I think it’s invalidating to try and change the definitions of the labels to apply to those few instances, but also people in these situations should be allowed the grace and time needed to figure out where they’re at. as I understand it, lesbians are people who identify as women who are only into women who also identify as women. that includes trans women. and from what I’ve heard, you really can’t use the lesbian label if you identify as a man and/or are into people who identify as such. which is where the question comes in. bc if not, you’d still be a lesbian probably, but if you’d date him if you met him now, you might be bisexual/pansexual after all. it’s really something you have to figure out within yourself.

#Asks #anonymoose

2 notes · View notes

tc-frog · 1 year

Text

introduction✨

hi :) i've been lurking for quite some time now (following a lot of tc blogs with my main blog :) bc it's not possible with a side blog unfortunately haha) and this community seems really sweet so i decided to make a blog about my complicated teacher relationship haha

important disclaimers!!

- i am neither in love with my tc nor do i have any sexual or romantic feelings towards him. If anything, it’s a sort of an platonic/academic/intellectual crush - i am however using the tc tags and phrases (hope that’s okay guys lskghsldkghk) because frankly, idk where else to put my feelings and thoughts about it and y’all are like the nicest and most understanding community kshgslkghslkg so yeah :) - i hope I don’t offend anyone with tagging my posts as tc even tho it’s not really that (idk how else to describe it), but if i do and y'all don't want me in this community that's fine too! just tell me ^^ - tw for entire blog: a pretty big part of past interactions with my tc were about my mental health issues (depression, anxiety) so this will come up a lot, please take care of yourself if you're sensitive about it :)

Alsooo the typical: i do not condone relationships between teachers and students, i don't want to be with him, i would never do anything bla bla and so on lol

about me - ivy (for obvious reasons i use a fake name and tc initial sghslkgs) - she/her - 19 - lesbian - european (won't specify, but english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes) - i’m in my last year of school and I’ve only got three more weeks of regular school left so I’ll only see him like four more times lmao - if u wanna know anything about me or my tc or the situation go ahead and ask! i'm always happy about asks :)

about my tc - J - in his 50s - he’s my religion teacher (with him it feels more like philosophy lessons tho which i absolutely love) - he's pretty weird and his lessons are a bit unusual/unconventional at times, but i love it i guess i kinda made this to work through all of my confusing feelings about (and mostly past interactions with) my teacher and to just talk about it slay hope we have a nice time together and i'm always open for chatting about anything :))

btw IF you read through my blog and feel like this all feels familiar and you might know who i am or who my tc is, please don't mention anything about it irl. but please leave an ask telling me about it bc i really wanna know lmaoo

#kinda nervous about this #i really hope this is okay haha #tc #male tc #teacher crush #tc blog #teacher crush community #teacher attachment #tc community #male teacher crush #praying no one irl finds this and connects the dots

3 notes · View notes

vampacidic · 1 year

Note

YES YOU CAN BE A NATURE GIRL!! Basically there was this youtube trend going around where people were like "Guess this twisted wonderland character's name / unique magic" but a lot of them were having their parents guess and so in one video this person had their mom and dad guess, one half of the cast was for their mom and the other for their dad, when it got to their dad's side he thought they were all girls

Jade is surrounded by mushrooms (She is a big fan of those) so with this knowledge he called her "Nature girl" so thank you to that very confused father because now I see Jade as transfem.

She ran away from octavinelle once because she was being very petty and so was Azul so she goes to pomefiore and tells Vil she's going be his faithful servant from now on. Vil is like.. okay.. interesting. So Vil bosses her around and turns her into an errand girl, after serving Vil for a while she's like. "Vil, I have decided I am going to work with Azul again. I am no longer mad at him. Peace!" AND I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING THAT IS SO STUPID. SHE TRIED SO HARD TO PROVE HERSELF TO VIL JUST TO GET AWAY FROM AZUL. EVEN GOING THROUGH THE ACT OF TRYING TO CHANGE DORMS, and I can't exactly remember everything Vil asked Jade to do but it was getting to a point where Vil would ask Jade for the simplest of things that Vil was PERFECTLY capable of getting done on her own. Jade did this all with a smile. She is SO SILLY. My friends are very big leech twin enjoyers but one likes Floyd and the other likes Jade so I sat in a call with them while they argued about who was the superior twin. Fun times. ( I love both of them, Floyd was actually the final push I needed to start reading through the whole main story. So thank you for that buddy!!) Fun fact I actually have a Vil plushy.. she is big and I love her. I get into my room and look at her and I tell her how important she is to me. DEAR I AM RAMBLING ON. I will confirm though, Azul is very guy and no matter how hard I try he does not leave my head. I love him though and I wouldn't have it any other way. For the question you asked I was actually thinking about this, you can just call me Light.. I'm not very good with names so I just chose the easiest option. Thank you for asking about twst though I love this game lots.. giving you so many kisses right now!! (Also please feel free to ramble about anything you want to with me I would love to hear it)

IM TELLING YOU ALL MALE GACHA CASTS LOOK LIKE LESBIANS!!!!! the dad was right she's a girl. 2 me ❤️ jade's so real for being a mushroom enjoyer... i used to be big into mushrooms and then i did some poking about decay and uhh. well now they freak me out a bit if i think about it too long but i still like them a lot.... decay exists as an extant form of life etc etc

don't feel bad about rambling i really enjoy it... you get very impassioned light dear and it's nice to hear you go on :] twst is one of those games where i Know it's right up my alley but my brain is like ummmmm. no you will not open it and play ❤️ sorry ❤️ but maybe i'll start soon... maybe you're my push hon. (the only hesitance is this makes it very easy for me to spend money at cons bc twst is so big..... sighs)

jade seems funny though.... she has ummm a je ne se quois to her. i feel like she'd eat me but not on purpose just in a oopsy i bit too hard way. not that i'd say no to it. she's a little bimbo ish it's ok. i love stupid women ❤️ i love siblings with the worst shit imaginable going on ❤️❤️

OH my friend acfually has a malleus plushie... waves Hi kyo if you see this. i have no idea if she consumes twst at all actually but like. uhhh twinsies...? can our giant vil and rei plushies be best friends

light sounds good to me... maybe i'll pick something more fun in the future when i'm not so tired lol.... i'm answering this before i go to bed ehehe.... hehe i'm accepting all of your kisses gracefully!!!

oh but my interests.... they're ummm. eclectic ? some of them are incredibly scholarly and then there's enstars. sighs. no idea how much you know about enstars love but i've been stuck w it for. nearly 3 years now....? give or take. my beloved idol gacha game. but other than that i play a uh. range of video games.... i've been trying to chuck through hades but i'm incredibly bad at it LMAO asterius and theseus are beating my ass. i've gotten to 3rd form(???) of hades before but never beyond that.... sigh. i'll make it through one day. other than that i like uh. final fantasy here and there + horror games despite how easily terrified i am. i wouldn't say i'm a horror buff but i do love the genre... big psych horror enjoyer. i also like writing and drawing here and there but most of my art has gone to class recently.... other than games and such i have my more uh. scholarly interests ? i like biochemistry a lot (of course you have autism and like science) and i have what i like to call 'history blorbos' whcih are guys i have a weird obsession w. this includes vladimir lenin, mao zedong, rasputin, and karl marx. no idea what makes me obsessed w them but you know. shit happens. history as a whole makes me go insane.... 20th century in particular. love the russian revolution + ww2 specifically but all of the 20th century is insane to me. also really like language (im teaching myself jp and am uhhhh. semi fluent in spanish. k can scrape by verbally) and to an extent religion.... i like catholicism from an aesthetic point but as an american raised in a catholic school it's uhhhhhh. Interesting relationship w religion esp w regards to my gender/sexuality.... i like dissection stuff like that. can you tell i have autism. i'm more than willing to detail just about any of this stuff if interested bc hooooo boy do i love to talk about my interests. light honey i hope you have a good night!!! mwah mwah my darling <3

#ask #💡 anon #light im kicking my legs like crazy and blushing and also my stomach is fluttering. good lord #have not felt like this in a while.. it's nice #whatever. crushes are below me (they're not) (they're just very rare w me and don't last long. usually. we'll see)#long post

3 notes · View notes

martianbugsbunny · 1 year

Text

OUAT Thoughts Pt.68--Episodes 7-8

I have watched through S7E8; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—Just when I thought I couldn’t love Hook any more, he stayed in a tower alone to raise his daughter that he didn’t expect to have. He’s just the best!

—Regina’s cold-shoulder plaid shirt has got me reeling. And that wavy hair? She is absolutely heaven on earth.

—I think Alice needs one of those shirts with the Sappho quote on it about being unable to weave bc ✨pretty girl✨ She just kinda ran headlong into disaster lesbian territory.

—Hook’s poisoned heart (I guess I missed the fine print on that when they explained it a little while ago, because I was a bit confused) keeping him and Alice apart is incredibly sad. I’m having trouble remembering when his heart was supposed to have been cursed, but obviously it wasn’t for a while, because he had to be able to raise Alice.

—That thing where the lockets started glowing for Ella and Henry was awesome. Although…I still don’t like Ella very much? I think she’s the closest this show has come to girlboss *derogatory* territory, and I hate that kind of character. No thanks.

—That being said, she has shown a little bit of emotion in episode 8, so I choose to think she’ll get better. I would say she just needs to have her walls come down, but Emma didn’t girlboss all over the place when she first showed up, and she had like sixty-foot-high cement walls with barbed wire and bear traps, so that’s not an excuse.

—Gothel still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. And while she doesn’t really need to, and all I need her for story-wise is being a generic magic user, I’ve come to expect more from this show, so I’m guessing she’ll probably get some backstory later. At least something to explain why Regina’s wigging about her being free.

—I also don’t get why a plant is supposed to bring Anastasia back.

—I’d like to know what Rumple’s up to. If he’s going to be an ass to Regina *still affectionate* *not loving him has become an impossibility* then I’d like to have some confidence that he has a good reason.

—Because holy cow, my love for Regina has existed for several seasons, but today it hit me like a six-ton truck. I might have her name carved on my heart only below Rumple’s, when it comes to OUAT. She’s a great mix of incredibly storytelling, a redemption arc to die for (you just know I’m a sucker for one of those), amazing fashion sense, enchanting personality, and gorgeous looks. Wow.

—It was fun to see Hook in full pirate mode again. That red vest is the best.

—When Gothel was pretending to be Rapunzel, that dress was sooooo pretty.

—Hook setting up a weekly chess game with Alice is my new favorite. He has no clue, and he’s still reaching out to her.

—Squeeeeee White Knight!!😍

—Actually, the Wonderland references in episode 8 were excellent. The Walrus restaurant with the oysters? Well, first of all, it proved to me that oysters are beyond disgusting and that trying to swallow one would probably make me sick, but that was a delightful reference. Bonus points for being something that isn’t as obvious as the Cheshire Cat or the Queen of Hearts.

—Also, I cannot believe I finally got to see a tea party in Wonderland! Kind of a depressing, sad little tea party, but I’ll take what I can get.

—Alice’s Wonderland clothes were gorgeous. That red skirt is to die for.

—How old is she supposed to be? The timelines in this season are messing with my brain, and given how old this Hook was when we first met him I’m guessing she’s a young adult, but I can’t figure it out with logic and it bothers me. Based on her appearance, I’d say she’s in her early twenties, but I’ve never been that good at puzzling out people’s ages based on their looks.

—Regina and Henry having a roadtrip to San Fransisco is fun. Although I’m terrified that the person who hates her in San Fransisco is Zelena, because I know Zelena appears later in the season (nothing more, though) and after everything they’ve been through it would destroy me to see them not getting along again.

—But then again, there are probably still a lot of people who hate Regina, so maybe it’s not her. Besides, as far as I know Zelena wasn’t around to get cursed.

—It bothers me how much of this season takes place in a bar. They’re tryna get the Granny’s vibe back, but could they not have found any better eatery than a bar? The amount of drinking most of the characters have done in this season is bonkers compared to the other six seasons. Maybe Regina should’ve had a bakery or something.

—I am ashamed of myself for not getting the Star Wars reference. Smh.

—It amuses me that the song Henry was listening to in episode 8 was called “Bizarre Love Triangle” because I am getting some kinda vibes between him, Ella, and what’s-his-face collectively.

—I love the bracelet Rumple’s been wearing lately. It’s hard to see because he’s usually wearing a jacket, but it’s cute and I would love to get a clearer shot of it.

#once upon a time #ouat #Captain Hook #Alice #Alice jones #rumplestiltskin #regina mills #wonderland #tea party #Henry mills-swan #gothel #cinderella #martianbugsbunny reviews

2 notes · View notes

ionlytalktodogs · 2 years

Text

I feel like trauma dumping on main so who wants to hear something off the fucking rails that actually happened to me?

My grandmother is a big alt-right Fox News loving Donald Trump fan. She had this picture of Trump propped up, staring at me while I ate. No one was in the room so I just kinda took it and put it facing down so I didn’t have to stare ol’ Donny in the face while I ate my turkey and avocado sandwich.

My grandma came in, took the picture of Trump, and, as if talking about her own child, started to say things like, “I love this man, don’t you love this man?” Just…insisting I talk about loving Donald Trump. I said that I actually don’t care for the man very much. She was shocked and horrified and started to go on a rant about how she thought I was “smarter” than “kids these days.” I said, actually, I don’t support either party (I left out the part where I don’t support either party bc I’m further left than both of them 💀) and George Washington believed that political parties would be the undoing of American democracy. I felt like maybe that last part was a bit too,, idk,,, much for her so to soften the blow I just added something like, “Not that George Washington was a saint or anything, I’m just saying.”

She immediately demanded to know what George Washington had ever done wrong as if this was a fifteen page google docs call out post that wouldn’t load on her browser so I just mumbled something like, “He enslaved people…” This prompted her to ask a very interesting question, “Would you shoot someone in the face to fight against slavery?” That’s exactly how she worded it. Much to her surprise, since I’m pretty anti-guns, I said yeah. I’d shoot someone in the face if it meant slavery would be dead and gone. I think “fuck slavery” is a relatively agreed upon statement, at least where I come from.

She proceeded to say that slavery was something that had been done for a long time and that many people fought for. Similar to abortion. If we had a war to stop slavery, surely we can have a war to stop abortion!

I replied with, “How did we jump from slavery to abortion I’m so confused I am just trying to eat a sandwich.” She continued to say that abortion is when they rip off a baby’s skull and suck it’s brain out with a plunger?????? That’s REALLY how she worded it. Just pretending all the other stuff about that is true, a PLUNGER? You really don’t think they’d at least use like…medical equipment. Like shouldn’t at least the PLUNGER be a red flag that this is fake and Fox News is feeding her lies. Idk. Anyway I explained that that has never happened and is not real and I don’t know where she saw that but it was fake.

She goes on to say that she had an abortion herself and now god hates her and she prays every day for his forgiveness.

To say I was speechless is an understatement. For the past 30 years this woman has been actively trying to get abortion rights rolled back, she’d call her state and talk to them about it (they’d just say sorry dude it’s not our law it’s the federal government’s), she’d preach to anyone who’d listen, so to hear that she had an abortion is uhh…a little shocking.

Realizing I had heard something I probably wasn’t meant to hear, I just muttered, “Okay bye” and walked away but she followed me and then asked if I’d fight a civil war for abortion (is that??? Something she thinks is going to happen???) so in my frustration I said the phrase that would be my undoing,

“Yes, okay?! I’d shoot you in the face to protect my right to an abortion.”

And then I realized I was fucked. I already risked getting excommunicated from the family for being a lesbian, saying this was guaranteed death. But then I realized that what she said, that she had an abortion, is way worse in my family’s eyes than me saying I’m pro-choice. Which is super fucked up obviously but welcome to my family.

Then she grabbed me by my torso really hard and said that I can’t tell anyone and she knows I won’t because we have a “mother daughter relationship” which is terrifying she says that constantly and I freak the fuck out every time she says it that is an incredibly horrific thing to say to your grandchild, who has a very alive very loving mother. And I said, “Oh of course I’ll never tell anyone!” And then went and told my mom immediately.

So yeah that’s my trauma dump about my weird anti-choice grandmother. I swear this is real but honestly I probably wouldn’t believe this post either if I saw someone else make it.

#the conversation went SO fast from ‘do you like Trump’ to ‘abortion is when they rip off the baby’s skull and suck it’s brain out with a plu #plunger’#what the fuck #sorry grams I will be pro choice forever #this was befor all the roe v wade stuff btw so this literally came out of absolutely nowhere #I was literally just trying to eat a sandwich 😭#if you’ve seen any other posts about ‘my grandma’ DIFFERENT GRANDMA. The grandma in this post is my paternal grandma. the grandma in all my #other posts is my maternal grandma #my maternal grandma is very cool #and pro choice

6 notes · View notes

theyreonlynoodlesmike · 3 years

Note

i am obsessed w tommy slater and youre the only person writing for him (THANK YOU) and i was wondering if you could write a fic where his gf comes out to him? as bisexual bc im bi and i was wondering what your take on that would be! thank you :]

*Cries in bisexual fem while writing this*

Oh, That's... (Tommy Slater x Fem! Bisexual Reader)

Warnings: coming out fic, discussions of sexuality, mentions of homophobia, anxiety, fear of rejection, acceptance, it's the 70s so he's a little confused,

Word Count: 781

You knew you were going to have to bring it up to him eventually.

It had taken you awhile to even figure out. You mean, it was the seventies. Sure, it was mentioned, maybe briefly, but it was never talked about. Like actually talked about. There were so many politics behind it, for the first time ever, and emerging homophobia- And in a small town in the middle of Ohio? Yeah, it wasn't exactly a commonplace discussion. And, more so, you didn't even know you could like both until Alice, of all people, told you.

You'd been confused for years. You'd been wondering why you felt that way about girls, and, well, what that meant. You knew what a lesbian was, but you knew that you didn't quite fit in with that. Otherwise, why would a guy like Tommy drive you completely insane? When Alice explained what bisexual was to you a little while back, it was like everything had clicked.

So, you sat on your bed, with your boyfriend besides you, trying to think of the best way to say this. The best way to tell him. Really, it shouldn't change anything. It didn't mean that you didn't like him anymore. You were still crazy about him. It just, well, it was apart of you. And, if you were going to be together, you thought he should know. More importantly, you thought you should know what he thought about it.

"So, what did you wanna tell me?" Tommy asked, and you gulped. You played with your hands. Even if you knew this shouldn't change anything, you couldn't help but be nervous. Yes, Tommy was sweet. The sweetest guy you'd ever met. But, you'd seen plenty of "nice" people turn out to be raging bigots. Though, you were convinced that Tommy wouldn't be. It was just a small inkling of worry, the possibility of rejection, that scared you. You avoided his eyes and stared at your feet, and you took a breath.

"There's no easy way to say this so," You held out your hands, pausing for a moment. "I'm bisexual." You said, and you finally looked over at him. You watched him furrow his brows, confusion filling his eyes.

"What-" He paused to scratch his head for a moment. "What does that mean?" He asked, and you couldn't blame him. You hadn't known at first either.

"It means I like guys and girls. That I like...both." And Tommy still looked slightly confused, but he gave you a nod nonetheless. You couldn't help but smile a little. Tommy was usually pretty well versed on most topics, but it seemed you had him a little bit stumped.

"Oh, that's... That's cool. This doesn't change anything between us, right?" He asked, motioning between the two of you. You were quick to say,

"No! No, not at all. I just- I wanted you to know." And you watched him let out a small breath of relief. He smiled, reaching out to hold your hand and give it a squeeze. It made you feel warm inside, to know that he didn't care. That this didn't change anything on his end. To have him reach out and hold your hand, show you that nothing had changed at all.

"Oh, great. Well, I don't care about any of that stuff- Well, I mean, I care but like not in a bad way." He said, and you watched him with a smile as he tried to recover. "I was just kinda worried for a sec," He started, scooting closer to you on the bed. You tilted your head. Now, it was your turn to be confused. "From the way you started, I kinda thought you were gonna break up with me." And you let out a surprised little laugh. You ran over your words, thinking of how you must've been acting. There's no easy way to say this so, and you nearly winced. Alright, you could see where he might’ve gotten that idea. Still, part of it made you happy. He was more concerned about being with you then he was about something like that. It made part of your heart melt. You reached out for him, holding his cheeks.

"No, no. I'm sorry. I was just- Well, you're the first person I've told." You admitted, and a look of surprise came over his face before it faded into a smile. He seemed happy, pleased with that. Maybe it was because now he knew how much it meant to you, how much you trusted him. Quietly, he said,

"Well, I'm glad you did." And, with the same smile on his face, he leaned in to steal a kiss.

#fear street 1978 #fear street #fear street tommy slater #tommy slater fear street #fear street tommy #tommy fear street #tommy slater #tommy slater x reader #thomas slater x reader #thomas slater

160 notes · View notes

burneddownthegym · 3 years

Note

When do you think Buffy and Spike started developing feelings for each other? I think for Spike it started in season 2 which has been kind of confirmed by Dru, but what about Buffy? Their relationship seemed to change after Spike let Glory torture him to protect Dawn, but I like to believe Buffy had unregistered feelings for Spike way earlier. I don’t know what’s true though. She let him live many times when she shouldn’t and that could just be the writers wanting to keep Spike but it could also be read as Buffy not wanting to kill him for some reason. If I were Buffy I would have at least been attracted to him from the start but I’m not Buffy. What do you think?

oh god. i started writing this and it just got more and more unhinged until i was left with a novel. but here’s my headcanon under the cut.

i think for spike it started in season 2, yeah. kind of immediately. i mean in his second episode he already has like ten tv’s mounted on the ceiling to obsessively watch buffy fight? ok weirdo. obviously the writers weren’t planning on spuffy at the time but it all fits with the dru retcon in “fool for love”. i think any feelings he had were super repressed in him for a while though, and were probably closer to obsession than anything (where does one draw the line between obsession and love? much to think about!!). tbh, and maybe this is controversial, i kind of think it’s not until “intervention” that he really understands just how in love with her he is, or what it really means to be in love with her. he definitely thinks he’s in love, he has a raging, identity-crisis crush, but i don’t know, something just feels different after that episode. i feel like it’s when his feelings for buffy really become less about him and more about her. like, less about having her or wanting her to recognize him, and more about wanting to be what she actually needs. less about *loving* buffy and more about loving *buffy*, maybe. so even though his feelings before then are real, they feel real in a different way to me after “intervention”.

buffy is harder. personally, i don’t think she was ever consciously attracted to spike until maybe s5. (buffy being immediately attracted to him in fic is actually a huge pet peeve for me; it doesn’t feel in character at all and can even make me stop reading). i think there was latent attraction, but spike was just so far outside the bounds of who she thought she would be attracted to that it doesn’t register that way (reason #34095 spuffy is a lesbian ship, obv. also it’s why her being attracted to him immediately can turn me off in fic, bc it makes the relationship feel less gay, and that’s kind of important to me). i think she finds him tacky and annoying and lame and just not a sexual object. he’s a soulless vampire and you don’t sexualize those. and so anything sexual she felt toward him she dismissed the way you might dismiss a weird sex dream about someone you’d never want in real life (jane espenson apparently had notes on her desk pre-s5 saying buffy had sex dreams about him, which i totally buy, especially after “something blue”). i think one of the reasons she freaks out so bad in “crush” is that suddenly spike isn’t in the non-sexualizable category anymore. like, what, vampires and slayers are sexualizing each other now? like in real life not just innuendo? you broke the rules, what am i supposed to do now? it’s why she’s so weirded out when he tries to kiss her in “fool for love” and goes on about how people can’t love without a soul in “crush”. spike isn’t fitting his sexual category and she doesn’t know how to deal with it so she tries to stuff him back in. long story short, i think it’s only after “crush” that she actually consciously thinks about his attractiveness, because before then he just wasn’t someone on the table for her to think about that way.

(oh i should also add—i think spike’s “crush” moment with buffy is “who are you?” when faith comes onto him. because it was sort of a similar thing for him. even though he was attracted to buffy before that episode, it was something he repressed or treated as kind of a game. innuendo and eroticism as a battle tactic but not something you’d actually follow through on in real life. but he thinks buffy breaks the rules in “who are you?” and suddenly makes herself real-life sexualizable. so i think his attraction becomes more conscious after that, even if he’s still trying to act like it’s something that disgusts him, like buffy post-“crush”.)

(also, this is why it’s so easy to read violence and murder as sublimated desire in a gay way with spuffy. it’s not really about murder and violence. it’s about them expressing romantic/erotic desire within the bounds of what their roles allow, because they can’t conceive of each other in other roles.)

but i do think buffy did still have some sort of draw to spike before s5. i feel like instinctually she saw him as more of a person than other vampires pretty early. definitely not consciously, and definitely wasn’t love. but she talks to him like he’s a really annoying guy more than she talks to him like some sort of mindless enemy. she doesn’t bother telling other soulless vampires that she violently dislikes them, or mock them about their breakups. i think the only other soulless vampires she sort of treats that way are harmony and holden in cwdp, which makes sense since both of those are vampires she knew before they were vamped. she didn’t kill harmony either, and wasn’t excited about having to kill holden. but spike is the only “stranger” vampire she sees that way, and i think that’s interesting! i think a lot of her conflict over him is due to this too, tbh. he instinctually feels like both a person and not-a-person to her, and that’s hard for her to process.

i have zero canon to back this up, but i think the first time buffy kind of sort of falls in love with spike is in “the gift”, when he says he’d protect dawn until the end of the world. i mainly think this because i don’t think it can be understated how important dawn is to buffy, or how telling it is that she kisses spike in “intervention”. other people have said this, but she just doesn’t kiss people every time they do something nice for her. i don’t think she would have done that unless she felt some sort of latent *something* for him, and unless he’d done something that really deeply affected her. him being willing to sacrifice himself for dawn’s sake, or protect her above all, affects buffy first: because of how self-sacrificing she is. she’s always the one who has to die or put herself on the line for other people. and second: she’s the only one who cares about dawn the way she does. no one else goes into a coma or threatens giles or vows to protect her until the end of the world…except spike.

so the fact that spike would understand the self-sacrificial and protecting-dawn parts of her, or help her with them in the same unthinkingly committed way, when no one else is, i think hits her where she lives. he understands and is not just supporting, but *embodying* this hugely important thing to her at the time when it counts the most. so she falls a bit in love with him. maybe just a second, or a minute, and then she ignores it and saves the world. but that’s the first time it happens.

then as far as s6 goes, i pretty much take buffy at her word when she says she has feelings for him, but that they’re not love. i think she has really intense and confusing emotions around him and for him, but they just don’t cohere into something that could be called something clear-cut like love. and that’s sort of the tragedy of that season? it has all the potential and intensity and chemistry for love, but she doesn’t like or trust herself and she doesn’t trust him, and he isn’t in a place where he can understand the guilt and self-hate she’s going through, or be moral without her guidance, and so in a lot of ways her lack of trust really is justified. so it just can’t quite reach the realness of love, where you want and want to care for the other person’s whole self. but (adding this edit based on a comment by marinxttes!), i totally agree that a lot of her breakup with spike is about her feeling enough for him that it doesn’t feel right to use him anymore. i think that’s the decisive moment when she stops being confused about whether he is or isn’t a person (and whether *she* is or isn’t), and decides he is one. maybe not one she thinks she can love yet, but one she genuinely cares about doing right by, and that’s a huge shift.

i believe her in s7 too when dawn asks if she loves him and she says she feels for him. i don’t know when exactly that whole mess starts cohering into something that really is love for buffy, but i feel like it’s happening the whole season. like air condensing into water. all the pieces have been there, amorphously, for a long time, and finally they’re allowed to take form. so when she says “i love you” in “chosen”, it’s at once something new, and also something that’s been there all along.

#ship: spuffy #do i have evidence to back up 90% of this? no #am i going to post it anyway? absolutely

232 notes · View notes

batfamtv · 3 years

Text

girls like girls (1/2)

can you do a jealous carol x reader ? like reader has had long time crush on carol and admits her feelings only to get turned down bc carol has internalized homophobia and doesn’t know how to react. carol gets jealous when reader is moving on with another mcu character of your choice.

carol danvers x reader

warnings: homophobia (internalized), gay thoughts, angst

When vers landed back on earth, you were just a rookie, working as fury’s assistant

It was such a whirlwind, coming to discover that aliens exist when you were just some kid who landed a gig at SHIELD

After that wild ride ended, you were tasked (volunteered) to look out for goose

Goose loves you, he is babey

When carol leaves to help the skrulls, you asked her, “are you coming back to earth soon?”

She said that she’ll try, and then she left

It wasn’t until she left that you realized, you miss her...you liked her

And not just in a platonic way

A couple of months later, carol was hovering outside your window (you live on the 25th floor), smiling

It was 1 am

You bring her into the apartment and hugged her, elated to see she’s back!

You were very touched that she decided to come to you, to let you know she came back

And you thought, hey, now that she’s here maybe i could tell her…

You know back in the 90s the gay agenda wasnt it

And in those months when carol was gone, you thought that weird feeling you got when you were with her was just being in awe of her powers, or that feeling of wanting to be her so much that you feel jealous… or idk maybe constipation

But when you saw her again, you realized, those feelings were real, you like carol danvers, even though she was a woman, you had feelings for her

You thought anyone who exudes the energy carol has has to be gay right?

Being new to the gay scene yourself, you dont know how to gauge it, how to act knowing that you like her as more than a friend

You and carol opted for a midnight snack somewhere, just talking

You are literally *heart eyes emoji* just looking at her, talking about her adventures

You told her to stay the night, the world can wait a little bit, and she did!

Oop--there’s only one bed alert

She was fine sleeping on the sofa, or even on the floor beside your bed, but you insisted! She’s your guest!

You didnt wake up all cuddled next to her, you also unconsciously created a space between you two

But you woke up to the most beautiful thing…

You woke up facing her, and she was still asleep, the light rays on her skin shining like gold, and accentuates that little things

And you were like, “holy moly, i would NOT mind waking up to this everyday”

And just like that, you went from a questioning baby lesbian to a full on simp

You really said, “i love wamen”

And for 3 beautiful, blissful days, carol stayed with you

It was more than you could ever imagine

To a normal person, everything you did was routine, simple, and normal

You’d get groceries, discuss which shampoo is better, you’d teach her how to bake

You sit down from across each other, you sipping some tea while carol reads a book you recommended

And at night, when she thought you weren’t asleep yet, she’d scooch closer to you, so close that you can feel her breathing, feel her exhaling into your hair

And you can smell her, and you’re really giddy

And sometimes, when you’re so close to sleeping, you can feel her hand on your hair, on your cheek, run down your arm

And you feel safe and loved

Renting from blockbuster was amazing, carol loved it, marathoned a lot of movies!

And when the night came and you were high on gay bliss, you looked at her, inches away from you in bed and said, “i love you, carol”

Carol grinned at you, about to respond that she likes you too, that you are her dear friend who is helping her re-assimilate to earth, when she saw that look in your eyes, that there was something more

And she was so surprised...and confused

She looked at the shocked expression on your face, as you clearly did not expect those words come out of your mouth

And the first thing that came to her mind was but that’s wrong

She looked at you, both confused and stoic, and she got out of bed and walking backwards away from you

“I don’t…”

You sit up, still in shock, reaching out to touch her

“Carol, I--”

“I’m not a lesbian!”

You whimpered, now out of bed and reaching for her, “Carol, I’m sor--”

“Please don’t,” she looked away from you

And you took it as a sign of disgust

Carol was disgusted by you

By your feelings towards her, and by who you are

Tears now building up, your vision becomes blurry as you stopped in your tracks, now hurt by carol’s actions

Wordlessly, she took her jacket and straight to the door, closing it gently, not slamming it

She wasn’t mad, you thought, just in shock

So you waited for her to cool her head, almost hopeful that she’ll come back and admit her feelings to you too

You fell asleep on the couch

And when you wake up, carol wasn’t there

She didnt come back

read part 2 here

a/n: i'm alive again after 2 years lol, there's going to be a part 2 set in endgame! thanks for the support on my @dnymirs blog i love y'all

#carol danvers #carol danvers imagine #carol danvers x reader #captain marvel #captain marvel x reader #captain marvel imagine #brie larson #brie larson imagine #brie larson x reader #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #lesbian #lesbian imagine #wlw #wlw imagine #batfamtv

282 notes · View notes

comradekatara · 3 years

Note

ik this is an atla blog but... could we hear some of ur izumi headcanons? (perhaps a sprinkle of izumi x kya if ur feelin generous)

been sittin on this ask since april (sorry!!!) bc i wanted to give this question the attention it deserved (and also there are just. a lot of asks in the inbox to get thru. oof). also yess i’m glad someone else is as fascinated by the potential of kya/izumi dyke drama as i am. fwiw, all of this is canon-compliant with what we know (so far) from lok. some of these have already been said, but it never hurts to rehash deep lore...

izumi is found in a dumpster. when it becomes apparent to zuko that whoever left her there isn’t coming back for her, he decides to take her to a local orphanage. he’s halfway there by the time he has already become irrevocably attached to this quiet, curious, perfect baby and is like “okay my baby now” and takes her home.

when katara gets a postscript at the bottom of a letter from zuko that simply says “oh by the way i have a daughter now” katara doesn’t even respond to the pages upon pages he wrote about import taxes and all that boring shit. zuko merely receives one page in response and all it says is “YOU HAD SEX???? WITH A WOMAN????”

zuko refuses to tell katara the truth. her version is better.

izumi is raised by the firelord and a small army of lesbians. zuko has to stop his friends from trying to give her knives all the time. yes, knives used to be a very loving gift during the war, but he’s trying to teach her about nonviolence goddammit!!!

she never has a crisis of sexuality or feels any pressure to like boys. she’s a lesbian and she knows it. everyone but suki is secretly baffled by how well-adjusted this child is. (suki doesn’t get the big deal.)

izumi knows that she is the crown princess, and that this means that she is going to be firelord someday. zuko always told her that being firelord is about being able to use their nation’s resources to help as many people as possible, and since two of izumi’s favorite things are puzzles and helping people, she is really looking forward to being firelord.

her other favorite thing is reading, which zuko obviously encourages but also finds quite strange because he always assumed reading was an activity solely pursued by sadder, lonelier children.

because she often gets so engrossed in her books that she accidentally stays up all night reading in the dark, zuko gets in the habit of placing extra-long candles in her room that will burn all night so she doesn’t have to strain her eyes. as she gets older and starts spending more time in the library, she winds up just carrying a sack full of zuko’s candles around just in case. it quickly becomes a family joke--if you end up in a dark room, better find izumi.

she winds up wearing glasses by the age of six. zuko is very worried about what this means for her future until izumi points out that her favorite people are visually impaired and they’re doing just fine.

she really likes toph, but thinks her kids are super weird. one of them is very regimented and disciplined in a way she cannot vibe with, and the other is very self-absorbed and theatrical. whenever toph brings lin and su around the palace, izumi ends up hanging out with toph instead.

one of izumi’s favorite pastimes is sokkawatching, which is like birdwatching, but instead of birds, she is studying sokka. she shadows him around all day and takes notes on what it is he is doing. she will hide behind curtains during meetings or walk just far enough behind him that he can’t see her. eventually sokka asks izumi if she would just like to, um, hang out?? but she gets so upset that he is now onto her that zuko has to intervene and convince her that sokka has no idea what he’s talking about, and that she is a master of espionage. since her cover has been blown, she needs a new mark, and starts following mai around instead.

when izumi is eight years old, her great-uncle iroh takes her and her aunt azula to ember island to see a show. izumi has quite a mature appreciation for theater for an eight-year-old—she reads plays, as any child of her father surely would, and has been known to enjoy live performances in the capital—but she fucking hates this play. she squirms in her seat until azula would look monstrous if she didn't take her to the restroom, and there the two of them remain until the curtain call. when it's over, iroh is quite convinced that the two of them concocted that little scheme together… and he's exactly right.

izumi starts attending meetings when she is eleven, and she constantly interrupts to ask questions. if anyone is bothered by this they wouldn’t dare let zuko know. all her questions are so smart and incisive anyway that very few people can find it in them to be annoyed when they are far too busy being impressed.

some monarchs might have felt a bit alarmed, and perhaps unnerved by thoughts of their own mortality, if their daughter applied herself to studying the work of running a country at as young of an age and with as much alacrity as izumi does. zuko, on the other hand, has been hating his job and showing it since 101 AG. izumi suspects the duties of the firelord aren't nearly as bad as all that, but her father is sensitive, and was forced into the role at a particularly difficult time. for her, studying how to run the country that her father has so carefully reformed so that she can step into the role as early as possible is a generous gift.

because izumi is the crown princess, there is little chance of her making it to adulthood without navigating a few awkward encounters with boys who hope to woo her. zuko is too saddened by the idea to know how to begin to prepare her for it. but as it turns out, izumi doesn’t need that from him. starting around the age of 12, she observes that many of the staff around the palace tend to read a lot of old-fashioned romance novels. seeking to better understand the entertainment choices of the women with whom she spends most of her time, izumi selects a handful of books from that genre to read for herself. she finds story after story about young, attractive members of the royal court finding love with unlikely suitors and suitresses. though these books aren’t to her taste at all, she understands the appeal and makes the logical connection that this type of story is viewed as a sort of script—the most sensational path a princess could possibly take. she practices saying variations of "no thank you" in her bedroom mirror until she settles on a polite enough tone that even the most earnest suitor couldn't possibly take issue with it, and that's that.

izumi starts demanding more homework. this ultimately means more work for sokka, who has to create an entirely new curriculum designed just for her, and then has to sit there while she does her homework in case she has any questions. and then, once she’s done, they go over it together and even if she gets everything right she forces him to point out areas in which she could have improved. suddenly sokka longs for the days that katara (and later toph) would yell at him that math is stupid and they shouldn’t have to learn it because they can bend. how foolish he had been at the time… he should have savored that…

izumi's first crush is on mai. it's humiliating, since she's well aware that mai has been playing with her since she was in diapers (and even faintly aware that mai and zuko had some sort of ambiguous summer fling as teenagers that they are now too embarrassed to talk about), but for a short stretch of time between the age of twelve and thirteen, suddenly izumi sees her old family friend in a new and magical light. and during that same stretch of time, she faintly hates ty lee. this confusing intrusion of unwanted feelings leads to a humiliating moment that is best described as izumi's first tantrum. when she is invited to join the adults at a casual dinner, izumi dashes for the seat as far from her object of her affections as possible, and when ty lee teases, "what? do we smell?" izumi blushes and buries her face in her water. she doesn't look up from her plate until mai asks her (repeatedly, as it seems izumi didn't hear her) to pass the dumplings. at this point, izumi doesn't know what else to do but to shove the entire remaining portion of dumplings into her mouth all at once and then flee the room. so she does.

in the morning, she is mortified and apologizes to everyone for her poor conduct. mai and ty lee are nothing but understanding, and mai jokes that now she knows where zuko got his table manners. ty lee adds that izumi was going to have to do something immature at some point, or else no one was gonna believe she was human. the two of them leave court a few days later, and by the time they visit again a few months after that, izumi is relieved to find that her crush has faded away.

the first time izumi meets katara, she feels as if she is meeting a celebrity. since katara never comes to the fire nation if she can help it, their paths have yet to cross, but izumi has heard of her, as if she is this mythic creature, through many, many stories, each more outrageous than the last. izumi does not think that meeting katara will prove a particularly long encounter, since katara couldn’t possibly have the time of day for her. she is quickly proven wrong, since katara cooks her dinner herself and keeps piling more and more food onto her plate. izumi is too well-mannered to inform katara that she is full, and katara keeps insisting that she doesn’t eat enough. izumi has no idea how katara could possibly come to that conclusion, since they have known each other all of one hour, but according to katara, izumi must eat more.

other than trying to feed izumi every three seconds, katara is surprisingly normal. izumi had assumed she was some sort of terrifying goddess by the way people talk about her. she’s very warm and nurturing and personable and has no filter whatsoever. in fire nation meetings, everyone speaks formally as a sign of respect, but in the southern water tribe, apparently it’s considered rude if you’re not completely candid. at first, izumi is horrified by how freely people insult each other, but then she quickly becomes delighted by the fact that bluntness is considered a virtue, and formality, passive-aggression. everyone refers to each other by first name, no title, and they’re all like one big family. people still treat katara with reverence despite this, even though she makes it pretty clear that she’s tired of being hero-worshipped.

one of the most delightful qualities that izumi admires in katara is her ability to memorize, recite, and hunt down gossip. izumi is introverted and polite and would never dream of asking brazen questions like whether haru has finally seen sense and shaved that beast on his lip or whether toph is "still getting her story straight" about where her daughters came from. (as far as izumi knows, toph has only ever told just the one, tongue-in-cheek story: she made the girls herself out of clay and she'll earthbend them back into dust if they don't behave.) but izumi is awed by katara's willingness to just ask these kinds of questions and she decides to take a lesson from this approach. being direct doesn't hurt anyone when katara does it, and it's a skill that will eventually serve izumi very well as firelord.

the south pole is also where izumi first meets kya. to kya, who is being taught two very conflicting ideas of what the fire nation represents, meeting izumi firmly solidifies her in the “the fire nation is nice and progressive” camp. that said, she also knows that her mom would disapprove if she and izumi got involved… which only makes izumi all the more enticing, naturally.

katara teaches izumi about what she considers to be the core tenets of her culture: “communal living, versatility & resourcefulness, democracy, and looking cute on a budget.”

izumi returns to the fire nation convinced that the southern water tribe is the coolest place in the entire world (and not just literally). sokka is so incredibly proud.

and, by the second time she visits katara, izumi is far more comfortable with going penguin sledding.

izumi attempts to go through a phase of teenage rebellion when she is fifteen, but zuko puts an end to it by encouraging her. he’s like “fuck yeah be gay do crimes.” learning that her dad was once a baleful vigilante/highwayman immediately quells her desire for antics & tomfoolery.

...well. most antics, anyway. a few weeks before izumi's second visit to the south pole, kya sends izumi a letter that includes an illustration of a particular type of plant that grows in the fire nation palace garden and a request that she bring a clipping back with her next time. apart from the produce garden where they grow fresh fruit and vegetables for the palace, the palace garden is considered the domain of suki and her friends, so izumi naively enlists suki to help her to find it. suki smirks to herself as she directs izumi to the right place and helps her cut a generous clipping of it. and that's the story of how, on izumi's second visit to the south pole, kya introduces her to the joys of recreational weed: a secret hobby the two of them will indulge in together all their lives, whenever they happen to see each other.

(though this, too, becomes a little less cool and a little less sexy when, one night back in the fire nation, izumi steps out onto her balcony and sees her father, her aunt, toph, sokka, and suki all smoking weed in the courtyard below.)

by the time kya is seventeen, she has petitioned katara that she ought to go travel the world on her own, since she’s the daughter of a nomad and a swashbuckling heroine, so it’s only right. katara finally relents. kya basically just makes a round tour of all the lesbian hotspots across the globe, from visiting her favorite auntie toph, to living it up on kyoshi island, to the fire palace, with a certain princess in mind.

katara keeps insisting to kya that no, she’s not a homophobe, she just disapproves of monarchs! so as a test kya brings the most heinous girl she knows (who isn’t su, that is) over for dinner, and katara has to be extremely gracious the entire time. after she leaves she says to kya “wow....... I love her :’)”

kya and izumi share an intellectual bent, an appreciation for music, and a desire to see the world. they also share their first kiss. izumi breathlessly expresses her surprise that smart, worldly kya hasn't been there before with one of the boys or girls at the south pole, but kya waves a hand and says that no one there is cool enough for her. when kya asks why izumi hasn't kissed anyone before, izumi just quips that books don't have lips as soft as kya's.

they have a whole "together-when-we're-in-the-same-place; single-when-we're-not" thing going on for a while, but izumi really loves to write love letters, and before they know what's happened, they're monogamous and living on opposite sides of the world. oops!

they are very much in love. they are also fully aware that their relationship has an expiration date, and it is the second izumi becomes firelord. kya may be reluctant to admit it, but her mom was right: being involved with the firelord…. well it’s a bad look. she comes from a long line of anti-imperialist revolutionaries. she can’t exactly settle down with a monarch. izumi, having been raised by zuko, is about as anti-monarchy as a monarch possibly can be, so she understands completely. they both agree that their duties come first, and when they do break up, it will be amicable and mutual. their last days spent together while still technically a couple are bittersweet.

izumi’s coronation mostly involves all of zuko’s old friends taking turns squishing her cheeks (even though she is an adult, and also the firelord now) and tearfully regaling her with anecdotes from her childhood, which she remembers perfectly well because she was there. she very graciously hugs and thanks all of them for forging a path to peace, promising to make them proud. they all assure her they already are.

she and kya break up that night, by the turtleduck pond. it is a quiet, poignant goodbye.

the following week, kya immediately travels to the north pole to rebound with the most repressed lesbian she can find. she thinks it’s only fitting.

izumi has a lot more freedom as firelord than zuko ever did, in large part due to the fact that no one ever thinks to question her legitimacy. she has a very commanding presence, always giving off the vibe that she is the most intelligent person in the room (whereas, of course, zuko gives off the vibe that he is just a little boy who loves arson… well into adulthood).

izumi thinks in lists, much like sokka and her aunt azula; unlike most people she knows, her favorite historical avatar is not kyoshi or even yangchen, but szeto, but it’s for good reason. she groups like things into categories and she groups tasks into mental to-do lists which are of course completely different from the to-do lists she does need to write down. this will serve her well as she will eventually go down in history as one of the firelords with the most documentation on her life and the lives of her allies—which is of course part of the point. so of course, she's also strategic about what she doesn't write down: the sexualities of the family friends one generation above her; the quiet trade agreement between the fire nation and the water tribes that favors the water tribes just enough that it would be a whole thing if certain loud fire nation citizens got word of it; and the story of the one time she kissed lin beifong.

izumi’s personal pet project is the implementation of countless public libraries across the country, which also double as shelters. the same way that zuko had a reputation as being the firelord who really revitalized theatre, izumi has a reputation for being horny4libraries, and she’s proud of that reputation, dammit.

one day, for seemingly no reason, sokka decides that he is simply too old to be micromanaging royalty. it was cool and funny and, well, necessary when he was 16, but now he really does have better things to be doing with his time. this doesn’t stop izumi from wheedling him for diplomatic advice, because she refuses to part with such a valuable asset, so instead sokka agrees to play her in pai sho whenever she “needs it.” she always knows exactly how to solve her problem immediately after a game’s conclusion. zuko doesn’t understand how that works at all, but azula’s like “lol classic sokka.”

toph takes izumi on a life-changing field trip to go look at bugs in the woods, and all the headlines that week read variations on “NOTORIOUS EARTHBENDING ANARCHIST KIDNAPS FIRELORD, HOLDS HER HOSTAGE IN A FOREST.” neither of them are aware of the political scandal they’ve caused because they were too busy studying cool bugs.

as izumi approaches 50, she decides to treat herself to a birthday gift that becomes her pride and joy: a top-of-the-line future industries motorcycle. her father may choose to travel the world in style on druk, but izumi's tastes run more toward ground transportation (which is to say: she gets violently airsick, and seasick, too). of course, she can only really ride it anywhere if she's prepared to either travel with a motorcade or sneak out past her guards and keep her face hidden the whole time she's out. the former cramps her style and limits her speed, so she chooses the latter. she generally takes it short distances, just far to get some air, but on one memorable occasion when lin beifong is visiting ember island, she takes it all the way through the mountains and down to the beach just to see the look on that crabby old cop's face.

izumi names her son after her beloved late grunkle… mostly because it was the only way to satisfy sokka, who insisted that since, decades ago, he won a bet against zuko to someday name his grandchild, it was only fair that he get naming rights. zuko, at the time having assumed that he would never have grandchildren, was like “yeah okay whatever,” but sokka never forgot. as if he would ever pass up the opportunity to publicly embarrass the fire nation royal family! but he had to admit that iroh was a pretty good name. almost as good as Sokkaruleszukodrools, which unfortunately and unjustly got passed over.

izumi always loved aang, and found meditating with him to be really clarifying. it's only natural that his death breaks her heart. but it's in her nature to come up with a productive outlet for any emotion she feels, even grief, and that holds true in this case. she is walking through the library on air temple island when it hits her: there ought to be an "official" biography of avatar aang and his life, dictated by his friends. though her initial idea was to hire one of her many respected writer friends for the job, kya and tenzin insist that it'll only be worth anything if izumi writes it. so she does. a biography of the avatar, written by the firelord. friendships last more than one lifetime after all.

izumi is, of course, aware of the new avatar from the moment she's born. the notes she has on korra fill an entire cabinet of scrolls and notebooks (as any of her advisors knows, her choice of paper just depends on how fancy she's feeling). korra is nearly sixteen by the time she's ready to learn firebending, and izumi personally sends the ship that will pick her up and take her to the fire nation. since she has not met korra before and doesn't know her tastes, izumi makes sure the ship is fully stocked with plenty of soft, comfortable clothing in all colors and sizes, all meant to be reasonably modest while still suitable for the warm weather korra will run into on the journey. so izumi is understandably surprised when she meets the ship at the docks and finds korra in a jaggedly sewn scarlet crop top that she clearly tailored herself. korra blushes and explains that she's never experienced warm weather before and got a bit overzealous. they laugh about it, and izumi orders a whole closetload of more teenage-friendly clothing to be delivered to korra's quarters.

zuko dies peacefully, in his sleep, at an old and happy age, but that doesn’t mean his death doesn’t affect izumi. she immediately takes time off to crash at the south pole with katara and kya, and they spend the next few weeks just sitting by the fire, swapping stories about their respective adventures, and having a lovely (albeit extremely tearful) time. izumi then goes to visit toph and suki in the earth kingdom, who are both apparently chilling in different parts of the same vast swamp. they teach her about how everything in the swamp is connected, that separation and time and death are all illusions. finally, the last leg of her trip is spent on ember island, where she sits by the beach, staring at the moon’s silver reflection on the black sea, and once more feels at peace.

316 notes · View notes

magireco · 3 years

Note

out of curiosity what do you think of the characterization of homura in rebellion? i hugely dislike it but get the impression you enjoy it which i think is interesting cuz we seem to have very similar thoughts on homura pre-rebellion (CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG)

THIS IS INTERESTING BECAUSE IT DEPENDS ON WHAT FLAVOR OF REBELLION HOMURA YOU MEAN. i really really like the way she was done in the first half of the movie but as for the twist at the end...? mmm...

...okay, so... i've been thinking about saying this at some point but i keep avoiding it in fear of causing discourse and such bc... this is a really unpopular opinion apparently, but I really do not think devil homura was done properly. read under the cut if you wanna know why i feel this way!

the first issue i'm going to address is that there wasn't NEARLY enough buildup for it. i'm going to explain this from the perspective of a first-time viewer: what would you have thought would happen after the very last scene of rebellion leading up to them breaking homura out of her soul gem? when homulilly got purified and the flowers on her head turned to sakura flowers (y'know, the flowers that symbolize life and rebirth, homura being reborn from her witch)? did you think homura was suddenly gonna undermine madoka's godliness? because, uh, first-view me did not think that at all. and neither did almost anyone i know who watched it for the first time. not only is that poor setup but it's just so sudden and it feels so out of character compared to what we'd seen in the entire series as a whole, especially considering that the entire last part of the movie leading up until that was about purifying her... and saving her... there wasn't enough buildup. most people are like "but the flower scene happened!" but that's still way too vague...? it's hard to tell what conclusion homura comes to at the end, because we don't get to see any of her internal monologue... there is no other buildup after the flower scene... it just skips to homura realizing she's a witch. wouldn't that bring the viewer to think the flower scene was something that made homura realize she was a witch rather than her suddenly starting to form her plan? it always felt like to me the conclusion homura came to at the end of the flower scene was that she was validating madoka's bravery and telling her that if it ever came to that, she'd have the ability to make that hard decision. which is... so... weird? because i always interpreted that as homura coming to terms with what happened? i could just be interpreting it wrong though, but isn't that supposed to be our proof scene? our buildup scene? why would they make it so hard to understand? we need to know such important buildup points just as blatantly as the natural buildup to homura becoming a witch was. that's just from a moviemaking & writing perspective though.

secondly, i'm gonna discuss homura's motive. i actually ended up understanding were she was coming from after a while of being like "what the hell that makes zero sense!!!!". madoka is a 14-year-old girl who, in order to save the fate of every magical girl, literally had to sacrifice herself and erase herself from the world, and in the end, madoka just ended up saving homura again, and that must've made homura feel like her promise with madoka was never fulfilled. it's unfair what happened when you think about it and the law of cycles should not have been run by madoka herself because she, as any other 14 year old, deserves to be happy on earth. although it was said in magireco that madoka felt happy with what she was doing (and she felt like it truly gave her a purpose), she did admit to feeling lonely and homura probably made that assumption big time. but the way the writers went about it just made her seem so sinister... so out-of-character-ly sinister. what with the evil smirking and the deepened, almost... uh, sensual-seeming voice, and homura completely ignoring madoka's fear. it feels like they twisted her character extremely suddenly and it throws the viewer on a loop. they could've gone with that ending without making such drastic and sudden changes to homura's character, and if they were planning on doing that, why did they not give us more buildup? buildup that wasn't extremely cryptic that you have to scan and search every detail to get a clue? something i love about rebellion is that every time you watch you find something new, but how come some of the only clues illuding to devil homura's existence are in the op? it's odd. why didn't they go with something like making the incubators run the law of cycles? they were the ones at fault for causing it to be created. but honestly, the incubators cannot be trusted with anything, which is why it'd make sense for a magical girl to run the law of cycles, but if homura and madoka had the combined power to do so, what if they just remade the law of cycles so it was less unfair to madoka...? i don't know. either of those possibilites would make more sense than what happened.

something else that kind of irks me about it is that they demonized(literally, lol) homura's love for madoka. homura is very much a canon lesbian, and it's incredibly discomforting to me that they made her seem, outwardly to the viewer, so selfish...? please don't get me wrong, i'm not ACTUALLY calling homura selfish -- i know the entire akumura facade is a mask she put on, but like, it's so much more blatantly sinister than she is in the series when she's putting on the coolmura facade. it's going to really confuse the viewer and see every single one of her actions from the entire series in a completely different light, INCLUDING stuff that happened in rebellion itself. like the genuine sadness homura felt, the way we saw into her soul and felt her pain, that genuinely made a lot of people i've seen think that it was ingenuine upon first inspection... they made homura turn "evil" out of her love for madoka, as if it's a bad thing to fall in love, and as if love for another girl was what corrupted her soul gem... i understand that gen urobuchi probably wanted to explore that kind of path where love leads to obsession or whatever, but homura was selfless to a fault, constantly trying to force herself away from the others in order to not get attached, and deeply afraid of seeming creepy and predatory and scaring(she said this herself), which is exactly what she ends up doing at the end, and i feel so awful that they did that to her... how is the viewer supposed to know what her true motives are at that point? it gets all scrambled up after they did that huge plot twist. i'm going to address another thing super quick before people jump in my ask box over this, i understand also that it would make sense for homura to be obsessed with madoka, but in the series, it was never shown in this light, and like i said, if they were going to do this, why'd they even have the purification scene at the end at all? the buildup is all wrong . it also just made me upset that this ending caused SO many people to start literally believing homura is evil because of her actions at the end, and it made people become even more vehement on their beliefs that homura is obsessive and ps*cho...

i was really confused when i watched it for the first time (and also sobbing hysterically, literally, my funniest rebellion story as someone who has genuinely watched the movie 40-ish times, i remember vividly the first time i watched it i started sobbing on my hands and knees on a yoga mat in my mom's room). also like, just to prove my point a teensy bit more, the ending was so ambiguous and out of nowhere that one of the first google results to "madoka magica rebellion" is "madoka magica rebellion ending explained" because it shocked people so much that that was the first thing they needed to google. also, the fact they left us on such a vague cliffhanger and then abandoned the movie series for a total of 8 whole years only to make a sudden comeback in god's holy year of 2021 was almost cruel. LIKE GUYS I JUST FINISHED UP MY DEVIL HOMURA HEADCANONS IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!!!

...anyways, um, i really have to address the sexualization. madoka magica, previously, was a series that avoided fanservice in the show, at least, but why did they make akumura's design look like that...? it shows an unsettling amount of skin and like, every three seconds in the end they're focusing intensely on her lips and her eyes and... it's almost like the writers forgot she was 14, but they never seemed to forget that in the series? what happened????? in the transformation scene, we get closeup views of homura's thighs and back and stuff and it's all open everywhere... they made her tights into thigh-highs... in the whole series, even when she went to school, she always wore tights, and she was wearing tights in her magical girl outfit too... they absolutely deliberately did that to sexualize her further so they could make official art with her thighs out. speaking of official art that unsettles me, why does so much of the official art make the whole outfit just glued to her body and you can see all the shading on her features... it's just. ugh. anyways.

i went off a LITTLE too much on this and i know this is probably gonna get me some weird glances in the fandom and i am open to hearing other people's opinions but i don't think i'll ever stop disliking the effect this plot twist had on the fandom's interpretation of homura and although i'm like UNDENIABLY incredibly hyper excited for the next movie, i'm kind of...nervous for what this is going to bring? i don't want this next movie to cause the same amount of discourse the ending of rebellion did and i legit just want to see homura happy. another one of my main issues with the ending is just that homura is SO unhappy when she literally deserves to be happy SOOOOOOO BAD and just take a break from all the loops ... i'm Praying to madokami out there that that's what happens.

i know this is all really funny coming from someone who draws devil homura on a regular basis and literally writes her, but like... i'm a lesbian i'm allowed to<3

ANYWAYS thanks for listening this was a fun ask!!!

#asks #neorattz #rambles #analysis #rebellion tag #IM DEADASS AFRAID TO DROP THIS #like... something i was too afraid to mention is that i Have unlisted disorders that are heavily stigmatized #and the reason why they are unlisted is literally bc of that #and i feel like i'm allowed to have a negative stance on this kind of thing because of that #not that someone who doesn't have those things isn't allowed to have these opinions OR opposing opinions but like #i've seen some people choose to cope through devil homura which like.#i get that.#and then i've seen other people use devil homura as an example on why homura is an obsessed psycho girl who only loves madoka #and hates everyone else #which is also partially where my issue stems from.#it's complicated. just like the ending of rebellion!!!!! LOLL

61 notes · View notes