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#ace

𝙨/𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙪𝙥 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 !
𝘢/𝘯 : 𝘪'𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘵 :)
                       ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

ace softly smiled at the sight of seeing you fast asleep. seeing you sleep after a fair share of all-nighters was not only satisfying to the sage-colored man, but it was the fact that you fell asleep on him. the simple thought that manifests such joy in ace was that you feel safe with him. he’s doing more good than harm. the gangreen gang used to terrorize people and produce fear and anxiety, especially ace. so to see that he’s generating more comfort than uneasiness brings relief to him. it’s one of his worst fears to make you feel the same way that he made other people feel in the past. fear and sadness. 

your body was draped over ace. one arm was wrapped around his chest, while the other was loosely dangling off the bed. your head was settled in the crook of his neck. your breath softly hit his collar bone, causing butterflies to slightly flutter in his stomach. his fingertips gingerly ran up and down your back, trying to not wake you. his other hand held a tv remote, cycling through the channels. he rolled his eyes at all of the qvc channels, advertising expensive accessories, and jackets that you could basically find in the thrift store for the price of 5 dollars. 

you began to adjust in his arms, startling ace. he found himself becoming slightly bashful and guilty. he started thinking that he woke you up somehow. you undid your arm from his chest and used both of your arms to hold your body up. your eyes locked with ace’s, causing a faint blush to appear on his face. although it was dark in the room, the tv illuminated his facial features and made it visible.  

you smirked before pressing a tender, furtive kiss to his lips. when you pulled away, he beamed. he gazed into your sleepy eyes. 

“ sorry, sweets. did i wake you up? ” his voice sounded groggy, yet mellifluous and demure. he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. you shook your head tiredly in response.

 " how long have i been asleep? “ your voice was far more groggy than ace’s. ace chuckled faintly, tucking your messy hair behind your ear. he thought for a moment, running his hand through your hair soothingly. 

” eh, it’s been about 2 hours. why? “ ace replied, which made your tired expression shift into a face full of awe. your eyebrows lifted with your mouth slightly agape. 

” i’ve been asleep on you for 2 hours?! “ your voice slightly raised from shock. ace put his index finger over your lips, shushing you. you pulled his hand away from your lips, tightly clenching his wrist with your petite hand. 

” shushhh, you’re being loud, you’re going to wake everybody up… “ ace murmured. you sighed, collapsing onto your green boyfriend. 

” sorry. “ you grumbled under your breath. he slithered his arms around your waist, rubbing circles with his thumbs. you brought your hands up to his chest, faintly gripping the front of his t-shirt. 

” no need to apologize, sweets. it’s alright, “ ace reassured. one of his hands trailed up your back and started running his thin fingers through your hair, carefully avoiding the tangles.

” i’m sorry you have to deal with me, “ you croaked, voice muffled from hiding your face in his rising and falling chest. he started shaking his head and opened his mouth like he was going to speak, but you quickly cut him off. ” i know that i can be pretty annoying and obnoxious sometimes.. “

” babe. “

ace’s voice was fruity and sweet, but low. you ignored his remark for your attention, which only made him sigh with slight frustration. 

” babe, “ he repeated, his voice far sterner. he untangled his arms from around you and used them to push you up by your shoulders. you avoided his gaze by looking over to the edge of the bed. he sat up, essentially forcing you to hold yourself up. you still avoided his gaze. he caressed both of your cheeks and delicately turned your head to look into his eyes. ” you’re not annoying. or obnoxious. please don’t say that about yourself. you’re amazing just the way you are. “

you weren’t sure what to say, so you stayed silent. your heart slightly palpitated quicker in your chest from embarrassment. you fixated your eyes onto his chest, unknowing of what to do or say. he waited for an answer before chiming in once again.

” okay? “

you bit your lip before glancing up into his dark iris’. his eyes studied your face intensely, making you feel anxious.

” okay, “ you answered, causing a small smile to plaster on his face. he leaned over and pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead. he pulled away, now a couple of inches away from your face.

 ” i love you, “ he whispered, hands still caressing your exquisite facial features. the small smile on his face became a smirk.

” i love you too, “ you breathed back, voice thick with love and affection. ace kissed you passionately, and you, of course, kissed back. his lips moved in sync with yours. when he pulled away for breath, a much darker blush was visible on his face, along with yours.

 he grabbed the tv remote and proceeded to press the ‘power off’ button, making it far darker than it already was. the only light that was lighting up the room was the moonlight by now. you could faintly see ace’s gorgeous facial features. he laid back, shutting his eyes. he yawned wearily, wrapping his arms around your waist. he pressed your body into his. you slightly tensed up before relaxing completely. you got into the same position you woke up in.

” goodnight, y/n. sweet dreams, “

” goodnight, ace. “

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image

and so it begins!

i feel like the idea that people will grow out of asexuality or have some kind of revelation is a thing in people who don’t know about the topic, or at least with the people at my school. (which also probably started the shift from me being open about gender/sexuality to hoping that no one noticed me lol) i’ve also doubted my sexuality like 293847 times so people not believing me doesn’t help at all with my crippling low self confidence with my identity.

but anyway! listening to mewithoutyou and drawing while it’s raining is probably the most satisfying thing i’ve ever done in my life

also my hair will probably change in the comics to represent what time it happened, so prepare yourself lol

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image

I thought I made this post last night but it isn’t showing up on my blog so here goes:

I have temporarily shut my etsy shop and am giving away my entire stock of soap to any queer people who are having trouble finding it in their area.

If you are I am not charging for the soap but if you are able to provide some money for postage it is appreciated. However if you cannot get soap in your area and you cannot afford postage we will work something out. There are a limited number of varieties available but if you have a preference let me know and I will try to get that type first.

In this time with global shortages I don’t feel right profiting off of something that has a scarcity and if I can help anyone I will.

You are encouraged to reblog and share this post.

Final note: If you are able to get soap in ypur area please share the post but do not try to get a bar. It’s hard right now for a lot of people to get access to basic supplies.

Thanks, y’all.

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ardateText

Or rather “Self Acceptance Struggles” mostly, but it goes hand in hand, as it usually does.


I am asexual, I know this by now.

I’m still afraid of being wrong sometimes, but I would say that mostly, the questioning phase is behind me - after a long time of pondering, wondering, and the usual dose of believing to be broken. And yet, still, I doubt about whether I belong.

I am just ace.

I am cis, I am heteromantic, I am not even sex-repulsed; I don’t mind sex even though I don’t particularly care for it.
Some people are gay aces, some are trans aces, some are aromantic aces,  and I….

I am just. Ace.

Probably the lightest form of ace one can be, the most “LGBTQ+ Lite” person you’d meet.
I haven’t earned my aceness either; I haven’t been harrassed, haven’t been insulted or hurt for it like some of my ace friends have. Scars and hurt is so often used as an example, a shield against the aphobia thrown at us by those of our own community, when we’re said not to deserve belonging for not being oppressed, as a retort to show that yes, we’re oppressed enough. And I sit there, not even feeling ace enough.

Can I be defined by a void? Is it fair? Aren’t there people needing this identity more than I do, am I downplaying its existence by defining myself this way, with my barely ace enough self? Will I ever make up for being me, should I earn those scars to be worthy?

I am just ace.

Very few people know, and barely anyone in real life do.
I don’t particularly want to come out to my family.
A privilege, without a doubt; a gay person wanting to bring their partner home would have to, a trans person wishing to transition would have to, and even without having to, many would wish to; because isn’t being recognized for who you are the highest wish anyone could have?

And yet I don’t particularly. Isn’t that a sign? Does that mean I don’t care for my identity enough, don’t suffer with this identity enough to want to come out? To be loud and proud?

I am just ace.

My friends try to uplift me the best they can.

They tell me I’m valid, but this word being thrown around so much barely touches me at all. It feels like lukewarm, safe comfort; an awkward pat on the back to someone you know you can’t help. And I feel guilty for feeling this way when I know they’re trying.


I am just ace.

It never feels like it’s enough.

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