#fun fact: ''the other guys'' is the episode liv stumbles on a few weeks after she and her mom get to the citadel post-mindoir

[dearophelia]

some episodes in particular:

- “Watergate” (dear gOD watergate; “hope you’re not expecting any heroic measures” “I’ve read your file” we have known Svetlana for fifteen seconds and she has firmly seated herself as Snark Goddess; “holy frozen bad guys” (of course it’s Maybourne, and I have seen this episode like six times and can never remember why he’s there but of course he’s there); “so it keeps perfect time but occasionally catches on fire” and honestly the whole thing about the sub being swiss; Svetlana having Emotions and getting to show them, Sam’s hand on her shoulder like Science Friends Stick Together)

- “Failsafe” (jesus lord almighty what did we to do deserve this episode we are unworthy; “i’m confident” “me too” “as am i”; “I’ve seen this movie, it hits Paris”; Jack gearing up to say something Meaningful as they’re all about to die but actually saying that it’s a poorly-designed bomb and they should talk to someone about that; everyone just being accustomed to the fact that everything goes wrong but hoping it won’t anyway; “is there a four?“; Sam’s face when Jack tells her all the wires are yellow; “if I have to say ‘what’ one more time”; this episode is a masterclass in making the foregone conclusion of Saving The Day interesting, honestly; “Carter, I can see my house”; tbh I could write a novel about how great failsafe is)

- “Nightwalkers” (this episode is so stupid I love it I love it; Sam having to keep track of two aliens who are both So Obvious; Jonas and his eating habits like dude is Righteous about the cook screwing up his hamburger and #same; “do people think I’m weird” “let’s get some lunch”; Sam’s gloriously drawn out “ohhhhhhh I wouldn’t say that” at the Reveal, like even the zat sounds exasperated; speaking of Sam she spends like 98% of this episode in civvies and it is very *fans self* like THAT TRENCHCOAT MAN THAT TRENCHCOAT AND LEATHER GLOVES AS SHE’S PICKING A LOCK)

- “Point of No Return” (it’s Teal'c in a fedora, i don’t know what else you want me to say; and then, after like 40 minutes of straight comedy, we get hit with Marty’s homeworld being total rubble and EVERYTHING HURTS IN THE LAST TWO MINUTES THIS EPISODE IS SO RUDE)

- “Red Sky” (“we have never before been visited by elves”; Jack sassing the Asgard High Council; the whole bit with Sam trying to explain physics with fruit, and Daniel asks if she’s mixing apples and you know; I Am Freyr; Sam just casually asking to borrow a missile; actual stakes and actual failure for once in this franchise)

- “Summit” & “Last Stand” (okay LEGIT FAVORITE TWO-PARTER; “Daniel Jackson, you’re a very long way from home” like can we talk about her delivery and the utter, bone-deep primal dread; all of the system lords (including all the ladies we should’ve had more of but that’s another post); the introduction of Ba'al; fuck fuck Anubis oh fuck we’re doomed; there’s DVD commentary somewhere about how Anubis starches his robes and i can never unthink that; also Jacob being crotchety, more so than usual on account of Daniel not doing his damn job)

- “Descent” (also a largely stupid episode that I love to pieces; “next time when we crash our brand new mothership, let’s crash it somewhere tropical” “actually at this depth all water would be this cold” “shallower water then”; Dad Feelings (shoutout to my phone for the autocorrect on the caps there) with Jacob; Jonas and I think this is the one with the banana and the alien conspiracy? it’s been a while)

- “The Other Guys” (CINEMATIC FUCKING MASTERPIECE; literally all of this episode, all of it; Teal'c counting how many times they’ve saved the world (eight); “look everyone, he’s got COOMBS with him”; the epitome of the Jonas Being Happy At Firsts joke when he’s smiling at it being his first time captured; just all of this episode)

- “Space Race” (I LOVE STUPID RACING EPISODES OKAY love them; Sam showing up in motorcycle gear; Sam’s literal puppy dog eyes when it turns out she might get to fly a spaceship in a fucking space race; “how many times have i told you, don’t get caught by the bad guys” and more importantly his little we have been over this gesture)

- “Evolution 1 & 2” (two lines no waiting; how to do complex backstory in three easy minutes while not dropping the action; somehow this episode makes zombie guerilla soldiers not ridiculous; the Oh Fuck Oh Fuck of seeing the mass of kull warriors; the guy’s name is Thoth and ATapps goes on for like half a minute in the DVD commentary and can’t stop laughing at how funny Thoth is to say)

- “Window of Opportunity” (Daniel, just Daniel in all of this; “maybe he read your report” and that major look of disbelief, dude took a double dose of sass pills this morning; golf pants are hilarious; “lose it. go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of one’s faculties, three fries short of a happy meal, WACKO”; the whole recurring joke of “bad example”; Teal'c with the thermometer; and then, like, suddenly shit gets very real with Malikai’s wife and Jack’s son)

outside of seasons 4-7 most of my influence is the god of “I did not sign up for - oh wait, shit, I did”, Cameron Mitchell

* “woah, woah dude, bullets bounce”

* the way he casually gives ~~legally-required~~ fine print to the prior about the thermonuclear bomb in front of him "sir are you aware that you are within ten kilometers of this device”

* “go for the stomach, that’s where dragons are weakest” please explain how you know the weak points of dragons, shaft

* begging Sam to come back with “what if I need you to fix it because I screwed it up”

* complaining that the prior doesn’t have a good pie crust recipe

* teasing a sleeping Daniel with what I think is a straightened out paper clip

* him and Sam in “Arthur’s Mantle” poking each other to see if the other’s really there

* actually, literally any and all Sam+Cam interactions ever; bffs forever, I love them; they are legit a thesis on how to drop a years-old friendship into the middle of an existing canon

* any time he gets into a sword fight, which is more often than you’d think for a sci-fi show

tl;dr everything I know about writing I learned from Stargate

#oph texts #I LOVE THIS GODDAMN SHOW #fun fact: ''the other guys'' is the episode liv stumbles on a few weeks after she and her mom get to the citadel post-mindoir #t:stargate #find this post again