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marjoriestotch · 1 year

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My headcanons about the parents and families in general I guess since I'm starting to accumulate many...

I think I should start by saying that all the parents being in their 40s makes a lot of things just not make sense, especially how they talk about their past and while its not strange to have kids when youre in your 30s, it def confuses me since they dont act like it, yknow? Like having kids in your 30s is the sane choice imho for competent adults, and none of them are that. So just go with the flow with me that their ages fluctuate from family to family

The Broflovskis:

OKAY so we know Gerald was a drug addict at some point (cat piss but i think other things too, surely), i think it was in his teens and early twenties along with Stuart and he decided to clean up to get into college (which Stuart resents). Gerald in fact over compensates and becomes completely straight edge teetotaler, so when he meets Sheila at a party it unlocks something he tried really hard to repress. Shes wild and sexy and is overflowing with confidence and he finds that irresistible like a drug and becomes absolutely smitten with her, and Sheila finds him really cute in the beginning but just considers him a casual fling. He fell in love first but she falls much harded as they go along. Heres the less fun part; i think with Sheilas partying and very active sex life and Geralds drug abuse problems of the past, they have fertility issues. Kyle is essentially their rainbow baby and is a complete and utter surprise, and they work hard together to completely flip their whole lives around, moving out of Jersey and into South Park, etc. Sheila develops a strong attachment to Gerald through his time and its why she dotes on Kyle so much as she does, he's her little bubula, her miracle. This explains why they adopt Ike, too. And, of course, while Sheila considers Gerald the anchor that pulled her to the shore, she doesn't fully know Gerald's wild past, as is seen in major boobage and chicken pox, etc etc. But they arent also a completely traditional either - i think they swing, as we see Sheila hook up with Chef (with Gerald's enthusiastic consent) and Gerald willing to do stuff with Randy in the hot tub. Also yes he took her last name, he may be a fucked up little piss troll but he does love/submit to Sheila fully.

The Marshes:

We know a lot about Randys past but nothing about Sharon so I'll talk mostly about her. Unpopular opinion but I think Sharon is a big bisexual girlie and had a strong preference for women, but felt pressured to settle down with a man and have a family after her brother Jimbo came out to the family and moved out of town into the wild with Ned, so she attached to Randy since he was the first decent guy to get on her radar. Of course, she doesnt know about Randys wild ass side since I think he was very good at masking it at first. She internalizes this great anxiety about seperating from Randy because of this and when they had shelly and stan there was a part of her that thought it would help to sort of anchor her in the marriage but it backfired and made her feel trapped instead. I imagine they married young and she was still a stupid young woman when she had Shelly so she wasn't able to be there for her properly but had more experience with Stan. In a flashback we saw Sharon with long hair and I think she cuts her hair as like symbolic of her unhappiness with her life but trying to be practical with what she has. It depends on the day whether I think shes hooked up with the other moms behind Randy's back.

Liane Cartman

Not much to say about her other than I think she's def hooked up with Sheila and Sharon and thats how Cartman got to hang around with Kyle and Stan when they were little babies. Wouldnt it be hilarious? Imagine the field day Kyle would have with Cartman if he knew that. I also think Liane and Carol partied a lot together when they were younger, which is how Cartman and Kenny are close. Speaking of

McCormicks

I still dont know where the fanon came from where Stuart is a pedo creep but thats not how I see things obvi. Theyre just both fucked up poor people who were stupid kids that got knocked up and disowned by their families. Its been shown that Stuart has a very defeatist attitude with a victim mentality, and I think Carol also has the same mindset, even if she does roll up her sleeves and finds work as a waitress and dishwasher. They bond over feeling like theyre the only people in town to "get" each other like that, like theyre the outcasts in the world yknow, the under dogs that gotta stick together, even though they are way better off just being friends. They joined fringe groups like the cthulhu cult not only in search for drugs and alcohol but also community, yknow? And they keep having kids thinking it will just start making things make sense but it doesnt cuz theyre dumb. I also def think they sleep with other people but not even in a swing-y way like the Broflovsks, they are barely a couple as it is. I've said this in a previous post but I def think Carol and Sheila became fast friends when the Broflovskis moved into town, meeting through their husbands and bonding over being wild party girls at heart. Hence why Kenny and Kyle developed a friendship, cuz otherwise Gerald and Stuart would prefer to avoid each other completely. This doesnt make complete sense in chickenpox, but I'm just gonna ignore that.

The Blacks

OKAY SO IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM A LOT and i def didnt type up this post just to talk about them :) this is 200% just complete fanon speculation so like shut off your brain for this one my south parkies if the show wont tell us anything about them then I can day dream. AND YES i have been informed that his name is "Steve" and not "Stephen" but...i do not care!!! He is Stephen in my mind and Linda calls him "Stevie" even if it embarrasses him. Okay so the reason I think/write that Linda is fond of Stan in my stolkien fic is that she sees young Stephen in him - a little geeky, moody kid. They're childhood sweethearts like Wendy and Stan, Stephen straight up just used to throw up like Stan around her from all nerves, the parellels are impossible to miss. Except of course unlike stan and wendy, Linda and Stephen are perfect end game. Stephen is the one from the rich family who had a vacation home out in Aspen where he'd run into Linda as kids and they'd later on reconnect and formally date in college. He thinks he has to really flash his fortune to keep her interested, but she has to assure him that she loves him for him which has him very gooey and pukey inside. Stephen could afford to flip flop between careers but Linda had always set her heart in medicine. They were responsible people who only decided to have a kid when they were 30, married and well off, of course. (They are hence the oldest of the parents and are thus more levelheaded, which is funny in my head to imagine old Stephen getting picked on by his junior Randy). I imagine Stephen wanted to name Tolkien way dorkier names, straight up like Gandalf or Bilbo, and Linda had to wind him down until she eventually grew fond of "Tolkien". Linda had made sure Stephen took Tolkien with him to work as often as she had, not wanting to give up her career to become a full time mom like all her friends, and Stephen just became a stay at home dad at some point, hence switching from lawyer to financial consultant. (Very involved parents that didn't want nannies like Stephen had growing up). I imagine that Tolkien was actually picked on and bullied in his fancy school when he was itty bitty and so Linda and Stephen decided to move and start over in South Park, Linda's hometown, and thats why Tolkien freaked out when he thought the other boys didn't like him and tried to fit in best he could. I imagine he has a lot of cousins on his dads side, Stephen being the youngest of his brothers, and so Tolkien is also the youngest and gets negged on a lot even if it comes out of a place of love. They call him twinkle toes or fairy dust cuz of his namesake and its partially why he hates it. Overall the Black family is actually the american pop culture dream come true, which is bizarre in south park.

As for the other families i dunno 🤷‍♀️ not that different from the general fanon consensus i guess? These are just the ones ive been thinking about a lot.

#sp headcanons #sheila broflovski #geral Broflovski #sharon marsh #liane cartman #carol McCormick #stuart mccormick #linda black #steve black #Stephen black

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