#grefgore would NOT be having a lovely ANYTHING if one of his princes was just impaled | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caesurah-tblr · 1 month

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Not this fic almost hitting 2k words… Fellow Armored-Phesant lovers, I offer you this angsty fic from an aroace person who knows nothing about love but tries to write about it anyways. Tell me how close I got, okay?

This does contain slight spoilers for episode 10 but not really at the same time. Read at your own risk.

“Grefgor?”

“Yes, my Prince?”

“May I speak to you?” Shilo asks. “Privately.” He tacks on, his one eye darting over to Hazel.

“Of course my Prince!” Grefgor stands, placing a quick kiss on the top of Hazel’s head before gesturing Shilo to follow him.

The flat is small, but there’s a small concrete balcony. It, like the rest of the house, is as nicely decorated as it seems it can be. Not as nice as the castle, but not cold like it either. It’s homey and warm in a way the castle never was, and the thought makes Shilo’s chest hurt.

Grefgor pulls out one of the chairs but Shilo shakes his head, quietly refusing the offer and instead choosing to stand. He looks up at his loyal guard, fighting the urge to cover his eye. He has to be strong for this.

“You’re happy?” He asks, his voice breaking just the smallest amount.

“Very, my Prince!” Grefgor gives him a big smile as he brushes his hair out of his eyes. “I’ve missed you, my Prince! Both of my Princes, of course, but you more so!”

There it is again- that twisting in his gut that feels both soft like velvet and as sharp as a stake.

“And she makes you happy?”

Grefgor nods excitedly. “Yes, my Prince! She means everything to me! I know that I do not have good enough wealth to wed her yet, but I will one day!”

“That…” The pain in his chest grows, and Shilo has to place a hand against it to ensure there isn’t actually a stake sticking through him. There isn’t, of course, but for some reason he’d rather there be. “That is good. I think it is time then.”

“Time for what, my Prince?”

“It is time to let you go. You have served my mother. And you have served me. But now? It is time to serve yourself. I am revoking your guard status. Honorably, of course.”

“My Prince-“

“Shilo. Please call me Shilo.” He croaks the words out, trying but failing to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. Grefgor reaches for him, but he brushes the hand away.

“You have served me well.” Another hand reaches toward him and he takes it. “And you have served my brother well. But you’re happier here than you would ever be at my side, and I cannot allow my needs to get in the way of that.”

Shilo squeezes the hand. “My mother was a strong leader, and I wish to be like that. But I will not be the type of leader that makes people stay by his side against their will. So I do this, not for me, but for you.”

Grefgor looks crestfallen, his face twisted up in an expression of pure anguish. Shilo is sure he could fall dead in front of him at this very moment and he would be hard pressed to look more distraught than he does now.

“But- my Prince- I am happy! I always have been happy at your side!” Grefgor grabs both of Shilo’s hands in his own. “There is not a moment that goes by where I do not want to serve you, my Prince. If my heart did beat, every beat would be yours to command.”

Shilo grits his teeth against the feeling in his chest. What is it? This soft feeling? This warmth? It makes him feel so human with the way it both soothes and hurts him. He never wants to feel it again, but he also aches for it. His heart thunders in his chest.

“I want to ensure you are happy.” Shilo can’t look at Grefgor anymore, so he looks down at their entangled hands. “And you cannot be truly happy with me. I do this so that you may be happy and safe. By revoking your status, I also revoke any involvement I have with you, thus marking you as safe from anything Edward might have planned. This is how it is meant to be.”

“My Prince-“

“Give me your crest. Please.” Shilo pulls his hands away, missing the slight warmth their cold skin had managed to create. He tucks them against his chest, rubbing them together to try and get that feeling back.

Grefgor stands in front of him silently for a few moments before he pulls a bundle of cloth from his pocket. He unwinds what Shilo realizes to be a bundle of silk to reveal the Venture crest, still as nice as the day he had received it.

Shilo takes it in shaking hands, squeezing the metal between them before sliding it into his pocket.

“Thank you, Grefgor.”

“Of course, my Prin- Shilo.”

Shilo can’t help it- he lets out a wail before throwing himself at Grefgor, wrapping his arms around the man who was once his loyal guard. Arms wrap around him in return, and Shilo feels his heart give a twinge of pain that makes him cry harder.

“Hey, we’re back- oh.”

Shilo pulls himself away from Grefgor, wiping the blood from his face in vain as he turns to his brother. Emizel looks shocked, eyebrows raised as he takes in the scene in front of him.

“Everything okay out here? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

“No.” Shilo brushes past his brother, making his way to the front door. “Shall we get going? I assume you hav found a place for us to stay.”

“Uh, yeah? You coming Grefgor?”

“No. I will be staying here.” Grefgor’s voice is wet in a way that Shilo knows his own voice has to be, and he hates it. He hates that he has caused Grefgor so much hurt, but he knows this has to be done.

“Okay… See you around then.” Emizel bumps him through the open front door and out onto the stairs that he quickly walks down. As soon as his brother meets him at the foot of them, Shilo grabs his hand.

To his surprise, Emizel doesn’t pull away. Instead, he intertwines their fingers and gives his hand a squeeze as he pulls them down the sidewalk to their destination.

“What happened?”

Shilo reaches out his other hand and grabs his brother’s forearm, seeking comfort. “I revoked his guard status so that he may be happy with his girlfriend.”

“And he let you do that without a fight? I can’t imagine him just letting you do that.”

“It wasn’t without fight.” Shilo tells him. “Emizel, he told me he was happy with her. Then he told me that if he had a heartbeat, that it would be mine to command. And I don’t understand what he meant by that, and I don’t understand the weird feeling I get in my chest when he says these things.”

Emizel stops and lets out a groan before pulling Shilo over to a bench and pushing him down onto it.

“Shilo, listen to me.” Emizel sits next him, eyes sunken and tired. “I’m just gonna give it to you straight- I mean, it’s not really- whatever. You’re in love with Grefgor.”

Shilo blinks, confused. “Love? That is not possible.”

“How is it not?”

“Well, vampires cannot feel love.” Shilo says in confidence. He remembers asking his uncle about love once, when he was very young. The book had been taken from him, and he had been given a long-winded speech about how vampires don’t have the capacity to love someone, and that his mother and himself only loved Shilo because they were his family.

“Who told you that?” Emizel is giving him that look that he always gives Shilo after he says something that sounds stupid. Shilo can’t help but take a little offense.

“Our Uncle. He says that vampires cannot love, and that only he and my mother love me because it is different.”

“Well, do you love me?” Emizel asks, and Shilo tilts his head thoughtfully. Does he love his brother? He cares for him, sure. He doesn’t want to see anything happen to him, and being around his brother does bring him joy.

“Yes.” He decides after awhile. “I do love you. But again, it is different. You are my brother.”

“It is different, yeah.” Emizel agrees. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t feel anything outside of familial love. I love you, but I also love Theo, and even though it’s the same word it means something different.”

“You love me?” Shilo looks at his brother, smiling at him for a moment before registering the rest of his sentence. “You love Soda?”

Emizel nods, an uncharacteristically soft smile gracing his lips. “I do. But that love is different.”

“What does that love feel like?” Shilo turns to his brother, hands rubbing against one another.

“Hm…” Emizel tilts his head down thoughtfully. “It feels like warmth and comfort. It feels like not being near them is so painful you can barely stand it, and when you’re finally back together all you can think about is holding them close and keeping them there always. It’s not wanting them to get hurt, and seeking revenge on those that hurt them. They’re your world, and if something ever happened to them everything would crumble. They’re your happy place, your safe space, the one place you can go to and spill your guts and you know you won’t be judged for it. You think about them all the time and the thought of hurting them makes you want to cry because you’d rather hurt yourself than them.”

And just like that, a weight lifts from Shilo’s chest. Love. He was in love. He could love and he was in love and it was wonderful. But…

“I love him.” Shilo admits. “You’re right. But he loves someone else, and I will not interfere with that.”

“Shilo, dude, he looks at you like you hung the fucking stars, man.” Emizel places a hand on his shoulder. “He’s always touching you and calling you beautiful and perfect. And before you say it was just because he was a guard, I can promise you that’s not it. Grefgor is so gone for you, man. You two just need to talk it out. Speaking of.”

Shilo watches as his brother stands, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“I got a phone call to make to my boy. I suggest you go talk to yours before it’s too late.”

Emizel wanders down the street, phone to his ear as he walks away. Shilo watches him as his face lights up when Theo answers the phone, and studies his face as he talks. He’s seen that face on Grefgor more times than he could count. How could he miss the signs?

Just another thing that’s been taken from him.

Shilo stands up, brushing himself off. He gives his brother a nod, and in return receives at two-fingered salute before the two brothers go their separate ways, one with the one he loves and one determined to find out what love is all about.

#jrwi #jrwi the suckening #Caesurah writes #some brotherly love in this one #this fic also comes with a side of fizzfangs because duh why wouldn’t it?#is definitely ooc but I don’t care

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