#having energies to do anything these days not even take my meds wich is UGH why am I so stupid vs me feeling both physically and-

[just-like-playing-tag]

:)

#Me vs wanting to clear the queue which is once again filled up vs not really feeling like thinking about tpn right now vs thinking that- #maybe if it doesn't make me happy I should just leave the fandom and go look for another series I enjoy even though I aknowelage finding- #something that can get me as invested as tpn will be very hard vs me finding it unfair to leave ~1000 posts I was truly intentioned to- #reblog and ~100 original posts in my drafts and ~30 pending asks wich make me go “oh shit I should really answer asks” every half hour- #because I *really* enjoy answering asks and challenging myself with analyzing something vs me thinking maybe a small break will do it vs me- #realizing that would only lead to posts piling up more and more vs me thinking I don't have time for that I must get back on reblogging- #posts and writing tags right now it's not that hard vs me really not feeling like I have time and energies to do that even though I really- #want to stop making tags unnecessarily long but it seems like I just can't?? vs me still being hella salty at the anime of tpn for causing- #this mess and ruining all my favorite characters (more like every character) and needing to take it out vs me not wanting to be so negative- #because I get that is annoying af?? vs me wishing I didn't care and I could get back to not caring about what others think and not minding- #how much my follower count is because I mean why should I care this is so dumb???? Can everyone unfollow me and maybe then I will feel free- #to post freely once again without thinking about bothering anyone vs me not being able to understand why it bothers me so much in the first- #place vs me wanting to go back to the days when I posted *my* posts without having to remember myself 300 times that it's ok if nobody- #likes them because I do it for myself and not for others and just reblog whatever I liked and I wanted to archive on my blog vs me not- #having energies to do anything these days not even take my meds wich is UGH why am I so stupid vs me feeling both physically and- #emotionally drained for some reason vs me having to put up with my parents and my depression vs me wondering if my parents are actually- #right for hating me vs me having my head hurt terribly and feeling like crying at any given minute and just wanting to die vs me thinking I- #should probably go study or do anything *anything* productive instead of writing a stupid useless rant post: choose your fighter ;) #I should have put some trigger warnings of some kind at the start I hope this didn't upset anyone ////////// #not tpn #rant tw #(???) #Before anyone asks if I'm ok: I'm not lmao #But maybe things will get better! #random rambles