#he believes he's factkin and Did Not Like The Implications Of That

[blu-engineer]

weird trains of thought at 5/6 am

#bluposting #meet the team #plural.core #<- concerning the following events #woke up around 5:50 to go piss #i think we came straight out of REM sleep #we almost never remember our dreams but there were some echoes of whatever this one was #we were in an escape room ''alone'' #the dream based this part somewhat off an irl escape room where everyone was divided into separate smaller rooms #but that wasn't the core conceit of the dream that was just the location we were in #and something negative happened. thats all i remember #got up and pissed and got back #and we were thinking about it #the idea popped up that maybe that dream wasn't for me #so whoever it WAS for in-sys i hope it was cathartic. because it seemed like it was based in a lot of pain #and then we got to thinking about this factive we got before we realized we were a system #i'd like to call this maybe early 2021? #at the time we had considered our plurality just kinning #so we're having a conversation on discord and at some point the main fronter flicks out and the factive flicks in #and then he realizes he exists #he believes he's factkin and Did Not Like The Implications Of That #so he um. like #ok bear with me #he like ripped himself out of existence #through overwhelming self-hate and pain #because he thought he was us factkinning someone #and that train of thought led to here #because these things are things we don't tend to tell people #not out of fear or shame or guilt #these are just things nobody else will have full context for