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demonicgod · 7 months

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[Asks from "Otherkin Ask Meme." Check my #ask game tag for the rebloggable ask meme, by user princeoframs]

This is really long so please only click the read more if you feel like dealing with a very very long post.

All art is sourced from the Grand Chase wiki.

Are you otherkin or therian?

Otherkin. I'm a fictive of Heitaros Cratsus from Grand Chase that identifies with his source in some soupy ass ways.

What are your kintype(s)?

Specifically, I identify as fictionkin of Heitaros Cratsus from Grand Chase. Related to that, I’m demonkin and divinekin/hearted. Most of those probably make sense enough, but because of my exomemories, it’s a bit more complicated to label whether divinekin or divinehearted is more accurate. My title was the Demonic God, which denoted how much power I had accrued during my time in Elyos. I literally fistfought three Goddesses and brought them to such a standstill their only option was using the last of their life force to power a magical laser bomb to kill me. Then, I spent the next few hundred years busting out of the Underworld and eating the divine reactor they slammed me with because I wanted to become a new Creator. I technically succeeded for maybe a few hours at most; so it’s difficult as a result to figure out whether I am divinehearted (that is, aspiring to divinity, but not being divine) or divinekin (seeing as I technically succeeded at becoming Creator, even if it was for a fraction of my life). I could say both, but my relationship to divinity is also fluid (especially considering my presence in a body that is not necessarily divine and is, in fact, a sack of meat appreciating the divinity of the world).

What was your awakening like? When was it?

My first awakening was when the body was in middle school. This was long before we understood that we were plural, so my awakening was muddied by a lack of clarity regarding our more-than-oneness. We came out of some religiously-exacerbated trauma with me splitting off in middle school as basically a parody of the devil. I was an asshole, and that identity kind of followed me through a dormancy to when I woke back up from it in late 2021. I still ID with that to some degree (I even mention it on my about page), but I ID a little bit more with Heitaros, because that’s the face that I found most comfortable, and it resonated with me. It was blistering at first, and the realization of a face in the context of the system made it a lot easier for me to not be so much of a rube all the time lmao.

When did you first hear about the kin community?

I believe we heard about the kin community first sometime in the middle of high school, through someone else we knew in the GC fandom, funnily enough lol.

Do you experience phantom limbs astral limbs?

We prefer the term “astral limbs” to describe appendages we don’t have that are not part of the human package. That said, I have four wings. They’re bat-like, and the bone/external membranes are a dark blue. The inner lining is a glowing bright blue, meanwhile. Both are the same color as my true body.

Do you experience any other shifts?

Yeah, I experience shifts relating to my true body (what’s my blog icon right now; I've included the full piece of art below too because it's the best official art of it). This involves a lot, including everything from my teeth to my claws. It’s just as disorienting as wing shifts considering I live in a twink’s body, lol.

What’s your favorite shift you get? Why?

Almost any of them count, but there are a few that make me feel particularly connected to my past life. My true body is one I miss a lot, but the body I took from Baldinar also has some particular meaning to me because I can sometimes use it to drag him into front lol. Also, I just like how I look wearing his features.

Tag who did it better lmao.

What’s your least favorite shift? Why?

Arguably, the same as above because sometimes intense shifts give me intense emotional pain. It's like having a head full of bees. Disorienting, confusing, and a little bit irritating, all at once. It tends to come with a little sauce side of dysphoria too, because the body's presentation doesn't match up with what I want to look like.

The only shift that makes me kind of uncomfortable is the shift I get of Kyle's body. He's in our system and comfortable around me, but it's just a little weird going from himbo to twink to sad Kingdom Hearts reject.

Can you make yourself shift?

Sometimes. Depends on who else is in front with me and what the state of the body is. With enough picrews I can kind of force a shift to my stolen body, though.

Do you have shift triggers, or do they happen randomly?

My shift triggers are usually emotional in nature, but active triggers are generally the same as my active front triggers. So, usually if I need to be in front, someone can jam me to front by engaging with those triggers, some of which make it easier for me to also induce a shift.

Do you have memories?

Yes. Practically my whole life. Some of it is just impressions, but some things are more in depth. These are also kind of front triggers for me, too, so the system will ask me to tell them more about my memories if they want or need me in front (hence me writing “fanfiction” about my source). My co-host is really good at this, and that's arguably the reason they're co-host; they'll regularly remember something about another headmate and then ask another to "tell them a story." They got like 300 pages of shit out of me by doing that lol.

What’s your favorite thing about your kintype? (The species, creature, etc)

The power. Not to sound too wild or anything lmao, but in my past life it took so much just to take me down, and the limited time I had with divinity was only better. This is a double-edged sword, of course, because I live in a chronically ill body (that is also a squishy twink), so yearning for that is kind of dangerous, but at least in-system that means no one is willing to fuck with me (at least in a “physical altercation” kind of way).

A good shift, especially if it comes with respites where I'm shifted in my sleep, leaves me feeling rejuvenated. It's like a reminder that no matter what, I still have worth and am still a force to be reckoned with. It feels like electricity, like a really good stretch after a long rest. I have no clue if anyone else can relate to this, but I hope it makes some sense.

Do you think kins are spiritual or psychological in nature?

Yes. Both. And sometimes neither. Sometimes one or the other. But for me, I’m a psychospiritual entity in a system that is disordered and engages in spiritual explanations. In other words, I don’t fucking care lol (/lh). It doesn’t matter to me, because I’m both, because my experiences can’t be boiled down to such a binary.

If you're one, the other, both, or neither, that's also not my business to pry. This shit is too queer to worry about splitting hairs.

Does anyone know you are otherkin? Friends, family, etc? If so, how did you tell them?

Yeah, most close family and quite a few close friends. Most online friends know, too.

Do you have any friends who are also kin?

Yeah!

Do you meditate?

Sometimes, but honestly at this point meditation is difficult to do in ways we like because of ADHD, dissociation, and the fact we basically dissociate all day at work and can’t easily build meditative strategies because of how that takes it out of us mentally.

Do you get kin dreams?

I actually decided to get better at lucid dreaming to try to have more, to be honest. Our sys used to be super into lucid dreaming, so I’m mostly just getting old muscles back up to snuff. It's been hit or miss all in all.

Even non-lucid kin dreams are usually really good though. Cathartic and a little bit sad to wake from, but you get over it when you're used to 'em.

Do you wish you were your kintype? Why or why not?

Depends. Would I still get to interact with my system? Would they be stuck in that body with me? If yes and no, then I would love to have my body again so I could actually squeeze the hell out of my headmates and also do the flying stim called “get up really high in the air and dive like you’re freefalling so you can parachute last second.”

Do you own any gear? If so, what items do you have and do you like to wear them?

Uhhhh skip.

Give a controversial opinion/your stance on some type of discourse.

This is purely because I’ve known a lot of misinformed kids before, but I think as a community we should be a lot better at being forthcoming about information and not being so quick to malign anyone that uses the term “KFF.” That term cropped up in my hiatus from the community (that hiatus being because people were bitching at psychological-related kintypes in all my fucking spaces), and by time I came back, no one could do anything but bitch about “KFFers” and never seemed to say anything more than the same BS I see in the plural community. It was only after almost two years back that we FINALLY found out what that’s “supposed” to mean, and it’s such a nonsense useless term that people I used to hang out with absolutely used it in a “misinformed but not bad-faith” kind of way (the “that would semantically be called a linktype but whatever” sort of KFFer). I get that there are people that want to make our community look bad, but y’all… those bitches have always been coming into our tags and spaces and planting fake blog posts to screenshot for r3ddit karma. Cringe is dead, spend your energy blocking/moving on and making otherkin dictionaries (like the cool people that finally helped me understand what the fuck y’all were bitching about lmao).

What makes you feel closer to your kintype(s)?

Just being me. I'm stubborn as Hell when I need to be, especially when it comes to things that better the system's situation, and that usually makes me feel like I'm trying to reclaim some of my old power. Boundaries are power, to be fair.

But if we want to get more specific, it's mostly front triggers that tend to get me feeling closer to my kintype, sure, but also writing about it as well. Anything that forces me to think about it and makes it easier for me to interface with headspace, basically.

What are some things that validate you?

We had a friend in college that said our voice sounded androgynous, and I know that's mostly gender euphoria speaking, but as someone who loves how I sound when I front? Yeah.

#demonkin #divinekin #otherkin #fictive #fictionkin #source talk #heit talks #this is what i did instead of working on art #but to be fair our joints feel like they need a whole can of wd40 after our shift today #and this is an excuse for me to appreciate my source art #some of it is uh #give or take in quality #but ykw i will take what i can get

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adoggirl · 1 year

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HI FLUFFS !!!! I SAW YOUR POST FORME HERE TAKE THWSE RHEBEHDVS

🌿, 🍄, 🌲! Also 🌼, 🌳, 🌴

-Bird

Uwaaaa tHANK YOU I LOVE YOU !! <22 /p

🌿 : how did you discover you were a system? or how did you become one on purpose?

hmm I had to ask ash for this cuz I have not been here long ha (pluralkit says I registered myself on February 17th lol) and she said that it happened fast like suddenly out of nowhere jay started fronting! and she was like “HUH??!” and then I went to jay and dragged him to ash and asked why he did that and shock said and I quote “she had to realize I was NOT A fucking kin, dear first spinjitzu master *face palm*” (dear first spinjitzu master usually translates into dear god because yeah the fsm is their kind of god) and the rest is history I suppose!

so yeah we know how we discovered it but honestly don't know how the system formed, everyone constantly disagrees how we formed >:P that's why we usually say “ contragenic ” “ is a system origin in which system members disagree on the exact origin ”

after all that discovering and stuff, it took ash a while to fully accept she would not be fully alone anymore but after that happened they gradually allowed others to front (by then the rest of the ninja were there + randy cunningham I think she said) and look where we are now!! Yayyy!!!

oops I might've kind of told a bit much hold on I'll ask if this is okay to share ... okay the general response was like “yeah it's ok to share”! 👍 Ok next question!!!

🍄 : do you headcanon any characters as plural? who and why?

hmmm I've never really thought about this... I think maybe Marcy from the original amphibia! because I think she split the core/darcy after being done with the whole being possessed by the core thing and that other marcy with the silly face that a lot of the fandom call marky (honestly kind of stealing from our Marcy cuz our Marcy has exactly that kind of subsys. But the roles will be different!!!) So it goes as followed :

Marcy : host, trauma holder

Darcy : anger holder, caretaker, coltenoir, heraicen

Marky : delight, pacific, paichmate, stim holder, symptom holder

Uhhhh not any other characters than her for now tbh...

🌲 : favourite system representation in media?

I honestly have probably not watched any media w systems in it tbh (if you actually mean system and not possession bc im excluding that for now)

🌼 : what species are there in your system?

Oh boyy UHHH there's humans, witches, shapeshifters/werewolves, hedgehogs cats jackal twotailed fox echidna bat lemur (all from sonic so anthro), skeletons, goat boss monsters, ponies (Pegasus, Earth, Unicorn and alicorns), Rabbids, dogs (from bluey), Lego (is that considered a species?), Etherian (as in Catra yknow human but also cat), centaurs (and the variants goattaur & deertaur), collector, demons, formerly human but now a rotting corpse, dragons, mouse rat thing (fink from ok Ko), flower, anthro fox, anthro cat, ghosts, object heads, koopas

And the rest you'll have to see on sp bc I'm not about to list EVERYTHING

🌳 : least favourite system representation in media?

Again like last time, haven't actually watched anything with systems O-O'

🌴 : do you think syskids and age regressors should share spaces or not? Why?

Honestly don't care about this but I personally would say yes they're both kids (one sometimes not but that's besides the point) and just want a space to be a kid

But like I said I do not care enough to really have arguments or whatever :P

AND LASTLY OURFHHH FLUFFS I LOVE THAT NICKNAME AAAAA <222 /p

#🐕‍🦺 〜 ask game.#🐕‍🦺 〜 mutuals.#🪶 . BIRDIE !#🐕‍🦺 〜 woofs.

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myriadeyed · 2 years

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Ok. So, I held off a LOT in the last discussion, eventually I caved and made/reblogged two short posts but I really didn't get in all I wanted to say. I just want to expel these thoughts from my head or they'll eat my brain. Here's my opinions, laid out, and after posting this, I will never again be participating in spiritual-psychological debates. No matter how far in the future it happens again, I won't be even acknowledging it. Final thoughts. Then it's just gonna be landscape photos shitposts and zionism discourse from here on :)

The first thing is that psychological is not my identity. Psychological is not what I am. Otherkin is what I am. Psychological is the reason for it, the same way my genetics are the reason for my neurodivergence, not my identity. So if anyone were to tell me "I can't believe in psychological explanations, they don't fit into my worldview," I would not be offended or feel like they were telling me I wasn't what I am. In fact I would totally get that because even I find many psychological explanations hard to believe (like for example, physical-brain/neurological beliefs don't fit into my worldview either). And a problem comes up when people make the claim "spiritual 'kin believe psychological explanations are real but psychological 'kin don't believe spiritual explanations are real." Because that's not always true and there are in fact many spiritual 'kin who don't believe psychological otherkin are actually otherkin, and that is 90% of the reason why psychological 'kin are so defensive and quick to the jump by now. We're suspicious. Because there is a community precedent of being told we're not actually nonhuman.

The second thing is the idea that you have to believe someone when they tell you about their spiritual experiences otherwise you're being bigoted. If a Christian tells you that they met G-d or G-d answered their prayers, are you obligated to believe in the Christian G-d otherwise you're an asshole? Many times have friends told me stories about encountering ghosts. Some of them I believed were actual supernatural experiences and some of them I believed had other possible explanations. All of them I listened to with interest, believed actually happened, and somehow managed to finish the conversation without telling my friend to their face that they're a liar or delusional. I believe people who have discovered exo-memories and people who have accessed nonphysical planes are telling the truth. I've done those things too, it just wasn't through spirituality.

The short third thing is the claims that psychological otherkin are the ones who are close-minded and refuse to accept even just the possibility they might be wrong about their origins. I fully accept that possibility, and I hope we all do, no matter our beliefs. It's easier for me to believe my otherkinity is caused by neurodivergence and life events. I don't have to put a disclaimer of "It could also be past lives too though" on everything and I don't expect anyone else to put a disclaimer of "It could also be mental illness too though." But none of us know everything about metaphysics for absolute certain.

The fourth and final thing is the concept of ontological truth. I mentioned this in the tags of the one post I reblogged but it's something I feel I have to expand on. There are facts of identity or experience that cannot be observed or proven physically. To use myself as an example: my plurality cannot be proven. There is no test or sense that anyone but me can use to experience the existence of my headmates the way I do. They may not be "true" to someone else, and another person may not even be able to believe that they exist as I say they do. But this same person can also recognize they fully exist to me, and with that recognition, they can acknowledge that that's all that matters when considering their existence, because it's a subjective identity. I believe this applies to plurality, delusions, even nonhumanity itself. I don't care actually if someone can't fit my being a raven into their worldview or religious beliefs or whatever. All I care about is that they can acknowledge that I'm a raven anyway, because the only person who has a say in what's real to me is me. That's how I treat spiritual beliefs. No, I cannot and do not believe your past life is literally true, but that doesn't matter. I will treat it as true anyways when I talk to you about it, because it is true, to you, which makes the truth of it outweigh any falsehood there may be. I hope for the same respect.

#I don't really want to tag this

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a-dragons-journal · 3 years

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my friend made a carrd on kin terms and wants to make sure terms are correct as they aren't that interactive with the community yet being in it for years, the url is kinform. carrd. co ( I am not sure if links work )

- and in case my tumblr messes up again I wanna stay anon

A’ight, let’s go through this!

First off, I want to say: I really appreciate the effort your friend is putting into this, including going to the effort to have other people check their work! It’s a well-organized carrd, and I appreciate that they included a lot of less well-known labels! That being said, there’s definitely quite a bit of misinformation here - which is totally understandable, the misinformation has spread unfortunately far at this point. But hey, that’s why I’m here!

Incorrect info:

- “alterhuman: a general term for anyone who identifies as non-human, whether it be 'kin or 'link” (on Terms) “Alterhuman” is a much broader term than that - “Having an identity that is alternative to the common societal idea of 'human'; a person who identifies as such.” It covers anyone who has an alternative experience to humanity, or who experiences humanity in an alternative way from “normal”. It’s intentionally an extremely vague and broad term - it covers ‘kin, ‘links, ‘heartedness/kith/synpaths, plurality, daemonism, furry lifestylers, real vampires, endels, probably voidpunk, etc.

(There’s a whole conversation to be had here about how the alterhuman community was supposed to get away from centralizing the otherkin narrative but somehow ended up with that being a huge problem anyway, with it often feeling like it’s about nonhuman identity even though it’s not - but that’s a pretty long conversation, so we won’t go there xD)

- “astral limbs: the sensation of a body part that is not there in real life ; not to be confused with phantom limbs which is used by amputees” (on Terms) Astral limbs =/= supernumerary phantom limbs =/= phantom limb syndrome. What you’re defining is supernumerary phantom limbs, not astral limbs/shifts - astral limbs/shifts are where your astral body changes to match that of your kintype, which a) doesn’t always coincide with phantom shifts, and b) requires belief in astral bodies/the astral plane in the first place, which many ‘kin don’t hold.

Supernumerary phantom limbs is the sensation of having a body part that is not and never has been physically present, as opposed to phantom limb syndrome which is referring to limbs that have been amputated. It’s not “appropriating” language from amputees or anything like that like some people have tried to claim - supernumerary phantom limbs is a medical term. Astral limbs isn’t an accurate, adequate, or necessary replacement.

- copingkin: identifying with or as anything under fictionkin or otherkin for comfort and/or coping ; also referred to as comfortkin ~ also see copinglink (from Kin) I would strongly suggest removing this; it’s not an accepted term and pretty much never has been as far as I’m aware. You’re either copinglink, someone who chose their identity for coping purposes, or otherkin who happens to have a psychological explanation, if your identity came about as an unconscious/involuntary coping mechanism.

- fictionkin: identifying with or as a fictional character or race. (from Kin) Remove “with or”; it’s identify-as. If you don’t identify as them, you’re not ‘kin. Identifying strongly with, but not as, is ‘heartedness, not ‘kin. I would also suggest swapping “race” for “species,” if that’s what you meant, since that’s a pretty loaded term out of context.

- otherkin: identifying with or as non-animal/non-human and mythical creatures ; some have their own label such as songkin. (from Kin) Remove “with or”; it’s identify-as, as above^.

- kin is often involuntarily & spiritual, if you consider yourself kin but don't do these, see hearted or synpath (from Kin) ‘Kin is involuntary, full stop, but it’s not necessarily spiritual. Nor is the distinction between ‘kin and ‘heartedness/synpaths the voluntary/involuntary aspect; it’s that ‘kin is identify-as and ‘heartedness/synpath isn’t.

- aeslink relating to anything for aesthetic reasons ~ "i am angel & palace aeslink" copinglink strongly relating with a fictional character for comfort and/or coping. (from Other) ‘Links are voluntarily choosing to cultivate an identity as something else - character, species, or otherwise. It’s still identify-as, not “relating to,” it’s just voluntary where otherkinity is involuntary. It’s not any less serious or any less identify-as. 'Linking or otherlinking is defined as “voluntarily choosing to identify as nonhuman/a fictional character or species”.

- synpaths: strongly relating to a fictional character or race that you see a lot of yourself in, but not as strong as kin. (from Other) Remove “not as strong as ‘kin”; ‘kin isn��t “relating to” something in the first place, it’s identifying as that thing. I would also suggest swapping “race” for “species,” if that’s what you meant, since that’s a pretty loaded term out of context.

- therian: identifying with or as an animal or other living thing. (from Other) Remove “with or”; it’s identify-as, as with fictionkin and otherkin.

Suggested edits:

Things that aren’t necessarily wrong, but which I would suggest edits to anyway for clarity/accuracy.

- awakening: the moment one realizes they identify as a kintype/theriantype (from Terms) I would posit that an awakening isn’t necessarily a single moment in time; much more often it’s an extended process that can take weeks, months, or even years. There’s some overlap between “awakening” and “questioning” that way, imo.

- They also said “theriantype” multiple times where it should be “theriotype,” but that’s more of a typo thing than a content error.

- otherkin: identifying with or as non-animal/non-human and mythical creatures ; some have their own label such as songkin. (from Kin) Songkin is probably not a great example if this is intended for outsiders who are new to the terminology, since conceptkin is kind of hard to explain to begin with, but that’s my personal opinion.

- Cladotherian, therian, theriomythic, and phytanthrope should all be on the ‘Kin page, as they all technically fall under ‘kin.

- identity/ID, kinnie & kinning won't be added as they are terms created by the more newer kin community and aren't recognized/accepted terms for older kin, though some older kin may be okay with these terms. (from Terms) Personally, I don’t like calling them “the newer kin community” - the “kin for fun” people aren’t ‘kin, they’re misusing our language, that’s the entire point. “The “kin-for-fun” community” or just “terms being warped as part of misinformation” would probably be more accurate.

- Synpath can probably be included on the ‘hearted page, since synpath, kith, and otherhearted are basically all synonymous.

Suggested additions:

- A resources list may be worthwhile! Things like personal websites and perhaps a few trustworthy blogs/posts could be worth adding to that list (I have a kin resources tag here that may be useful to them if they want to do that!) This gives people a place to go if they want to learn more.

- The term otherlinker is probably a good one to add, given that copinglinker and a specific type of ‘link (aeslink) are both present but the larger umbrella term presently isn’t.

Out of curiosity:

not edits at all, I’m just curious, ha

- kintrope: a trait found in most of ones kintypes. (from Terms) I’m really curious where they found this term, it’s not one I’ve heard before!

I think that’s about all I can find - like I said, I really appreciate the effort being put into this carrd! There’s a lot of good terms on here, just some definition fixes that need to be made - it’s well-organized and very aesthetically pleasing, which is more than I can honestly say for a lot of carrds xD

Hopefully that’s all clear enough to be helpful - I’m more than happy to chat further about this or provide clearer definitions/suggested resources, if your friend wants! :3

#oh this def should've gone under a cut shouldn't it #oh well too late now it doesn't work very well in edits #asked and answered #anonymous #rani talks #side note if anyone is thinking about being mean to anon or carrd maker on this post: don't #they're clearly putting in a lot of effort and i appreciate that #i know this got kind of long with all the corrections and edit suggestions but y'all gremlins behave #we ain't jumpin people for making mistakes a'ight? we don't do that in this house

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scarsmood · 3 years

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Mental Health and Otherkinity

This is my panel I did today! enjoy! it’s the script

My name is scar im apart of a system of 4, I am mightyenakin from pokemon. Trans ftm and very queer. We have a lot to go over so lets jump in.

Today I want to talk about my experience with being psychological kin. Talk about how this has shaped me as a person. How the community handles psychological kin as well as the greater outside world. So lets get into it. Otherkinity has been in my life ever since I can remember. From the age of 3 I can remember feeling non human and having alters that were also non human. I’ve also found for my life and my experience my mental health and my otherkinity are two things that have wound themselves together. I can never look at one without the other are both play a critical role in my identity.

I can say as psychological otherkin right now I stand at an interesting intersection of my life where I have the most freedom I have ever had and dealing with the worst trauma I’ve had to face. I recently got out of a bad long term relationship of something I had been in for 7 years. I can say the events I’ve lived did and still do directly impact my identity and change how I see myself.

for me I cannot explore my otherkinity without exploring my trauma and mental health

these two parts of myself are closely woven together. DID is a product of trauma and it’s something that rules over my life daily.

It is something I don’t just accommodate it is a way of life for me.

For the past 3 years I’ve been in intensive therapy going at least once every two weeks. At one point going twice a week, completed an inpatient and outpatient program. Needless to say I have been fortunate enough to not be in a lot of debt. However I would like to think that these things have helped me immensely. With the background talk out of the way lets get into how these things have shaped my identity.

A little bit about me. I am diagnosed with DID or dissociative identity disorder. This means my identity is split apart between alters or alternate personalities. If your unfamiliar with plurality I can say with confidence that can be its own talk but heres what you need to know.

• My alters are distinct each having their own morals, ideals, life perspective, lived experiences and memories separate from my own.

• We all share one body like roommates share an apartment space

• My alters are a result of trauma I experienced during my life. Each of us hold our share of trauma so imaging trauma is sandbags instead of 1 person holding 100 pounds of sand we have given 25 pounds of sand to 4 alters. Which is much more manageable.

• My alters including me were shaped from the environment they came from

· Alters also share an inner world where they can interact with one another. This also a place where I can easily my identity and how I view myself internally.

Some others fun things about me is I have some mild psychotic symptoms. Since I’m in my early 20’s they’re pretty manageable at the moment I am always keeping an eye out for them worsening though. These things include hallucinations visual, auditory, touch, smell, taste. I also have a weird mix of beliefs that can mix into delusion territory but aren’t damaging to my life and therefore cant really place a good label on them. So I consider them delusional like but not the same experience as a true delusion I believe I could very much be wrong.

my first identity shift was when I was a child about 3 years old was the first time me as an alter became prominently separate from our host. It was apparently at that time I was non human and a hyena. I looked like a hyena from lion king roughly no character in particular and acted as a companion/ friend.

When I got a bit older at 4-5 my identity shifted once I moved and left behind some family. I changed from a hyena to a pokemon. If I could guess I would say due to a pokemons inherent loyalty. My identity became a mightyena a wolfish hyena basically and the codependency that pokemon carry also carried over.

I was depended on to be support for our host and to take care of them as a friend and caretaker. We experienced neglect at the time and this was reflected with my identity. I was a creature that was supposed to stay with someone forever basically giving a comfort we were missing to our host so they could continue functioning. I would say my identity changes based on my environment and is sensitive to my environment all the time

depending on what I experience I see myself change and adapt because of how sensitive we are as a system trying to adapt in the world around us. I often think if my identity isn’t shifting a little it might be a sign of trouble and us shutting down being unable to adapt and change.

When I was 5-6 it changed to its own species a threatening wolf. Which it stayed until a few months ago. My identity as a threatening wolf changed a lot I had spikes then got a sword tail then was able to breathe fire, my size would shift and change, my tail length and ability to move it would change. Teeth, eye color, would all change depending on my environment. For example when I was deep in abuse with my ex I gained the ability to breathe fire suddenly as a needed adaption to scare them away. My eyes turned red to look scarier. I got bigger. This all happened internally as my ex was able to interact within our system in our inner world. Which is a terrible idea by the way don’t be an idiot like me. Which was why I needed to look scarier as a way of protection

Lately I have been healing from trauma and now that my ex is gone so is a lot of pressure to defend myself so I turned back into a mightyena which is much more defenseless but much truer to how I see myself in a safe space. Im sure if trauma happened again I would shift back to a threatening wolf as a means for protection. When it comes to plurality labels I fall under protector and host we are pretty integrated though so we have grown out of most typical labels due to how functional each of us are now.

This concept of a changing identity is taboo in otherkin communities

usually we are lead to believe when we were kids we have always been one strict animal for our whole lives and just now learning about it. this animal never changes it is static unchanging and we simply learn about it as we grow up. My experience has been wholly different. My animal and my identity changes based on my environment it can be subtle or drastic. I never evoke or ask for the changes they simply happen and I have to adapt to the new way I see myself. Trying to apply my identity to the common otherkin rhetoric gave me a lot of grief as a teenager

when I was about 13 because I would discover something about myself say breathing fire or growing in size and be ashamed because I knew these changes were not “typical”

as an aside I think this notion that my experience is atypical is also false. I think this is fairly common but a lot of otherkin just handle it in a way that flows with the static concept where we learn we have a new kin type but still also have the old one, we learn something about our kin type that totally shifts it but connect it back to our old kin type, we find new features, personality traits or experiences that now define our kintype that were never there before and newly discovered

Otherkinity is about self discovery and how it’s essentially chasing a dragon. Literally. We will never fully know our internal identity no matter how closely we look into it. there is so much that we learn and how to weave into our identity otherkintiy is as much of an art as it is a science when it comes to self reflection. It’s just like any other aspect of ourselves we can create labels for our sexuality and they work but they don’t capture 100% of what you experience theyre a short hand for others. I find that otherkinity is this concept on steroids. I find my identity to be a much larger part as it impacts everything including my sexuality it is more prominent for me so trying to put it under labels becomes increasingly difficult.

How are we supposed to create a short hand for who we are? All of those moving pieces inside of us that shape our perspective, experiences, how we interact with people, how we love people, how we go through day to day life, and we are supposed to just say something like “bear therian” what if it changes? What if we have quirks that our outside of this label? When I first joined the otherkin community it was pretty frowned upon to change your identity. You had to be a wolf therian, you had to be a dragonkin. Once you picked a label that was it. your locking into your identity if you didn’t you weren’t taken seriously.

Ableism in the otherkin community

I question as well if this correlation between identity stability and maturity/credibility is ableism. Usually I noticed when I first join the therian and otherkin community there was a push for “not looking crazy” so as to not get bullied further for identities. I’m sure anyone in the LGBT community knows trying to please people making fun of you really doesn’t work. There is a prominent fear of seeming to outsiders as if were roleplaying or kinning for fun which seems to be a whole other topic in and of itself. My personal experience has lead me to the conclusion that these people are going to come at you regardless of how often you shift your identity, how seriously or goofy you take it, how analytical you are with your identity whether you write essays or one sentence it does not change the views of outsiders.

Endels, clinical lycanthropes, and other nonhumans who have mental illness-based identities face a similar ableism. It wasn’t until earlier this year, 2021, when the connection between mental illness and nonhumanity was finally accepted by the greater community. But even still, Endelic communities are more often treated as a novelty; not something to be taken seriously as an identity, just something “interesting.” Mental illness, especially psychotic disorders, aren’t pretty or tame, and the greater nonhuman community appears to subtly enforce this stigma. Werewolves are monsters, and the greater community spares no feelings in reminding us of this, with such unwelcome words my friend babydog’s met as and I paraphrase a quote here from my friend baby dog “you’re welcome here, but you should expect people to uncomfortable about your identity as an endel or question your endelity. I dont personally believe people like you should be part of alterhuman communities.” End quote Many of those who are part of the greater alterhuman community are still concerned about respectability politics, how we appear to outsiders, rather than being concerned about how inner-community members are finding their welcome. Arguments like “But, clinical lycanthropy was previously used as ammunition against all Otherkin! We’re playing into anti-kin’s stereotypes!” isn’t an excuse anymore, because throwing your own community under the bus isn’t acceptable anymore. We want a higher standard in this community than being driven by shame that makes us hide members of our own community. It’s much better to stand with them.

Lets also take a moment to acknowledge these actions stemmed from an act of seeming more credible and not “crazy”. I’d like to say also that the stereotype of crazy doesn’t exist when we think of crazy we think of someone whose mentally Ill and struggling to function. In reality these people have an untreated mental illness or going through an episode that’s only one aspect of a person. They do other things with their life including myself. I write poems and go out with friends but if someone only judged me at my worst and lowest I would fit into this “crazy” stereotype. Its not fair for us to judge people based on actions they cant control. Based on trauma or brain chemistry people are more than that I think can agree.

we should be understanding with these people treating them as whole people not just one descriptor. crazy is really just a derogatory name for someone with a mental illness. So to avoid being crazy means to avoid any signs of neurodiversity people view as abnormal. Or signs of nonconformity with nuerotypicals

-endels still face ableism typically in the form of being treated like a novelty and not really being taken seriously. Endels are still getting called interesting a lot) and it makes them feel like a specimen within their own community. I’m sure those who suffer from mental illness understand how degrading it is to be looked at as some sort of test subject or lab rat. I think as a community we can do better and be more accepting and open to all forms of otherkinity. Shutting down this kinda of language would be great for endel otherkin.

-endels are still having to deal with other community members who use psychotic/delusional/etc as insults or jokey words. These words are derogatory and insulting they shouldn’t be said as insults or jokes there are plenty of other words that could be used and it pushes endels and otherkin with psychotic symptoms away from the larger community. Using this language shows an ignorance to the ableism still alive and active towards endels.

-none of this helps internalized ableism!! All the actions described above only reinforce internalized ablism. This creates a combative and toxic environment for endels and otherkin with psychotic symptoms. It would be in our best interest as a community to help bring down ableism and be more aware of what were saying and to who.

Some things to keep in mind

-treating psychotics like they cant make their own choices is not ok/ thinking for them

-insults and jokes using derogatory language is triggering and alienating

-treating psychotics as lab rats or something to gauk at as “interesting” is demoralizing and takes away someones individual power as a person. Its hard to have an identity and a voice if everyone is busy staring at you like a lab rat.

What about the internal side of the otherkin community? I found when I was apart of the therian community this was a more prominent problem and still is in some corners I wander into. Otherkinity also holds some ableist views but from what I’ve seen not to the same intensity as therian communities. This I would say is a cultural difference from a new age of therians that took over the internet, p-shifting cults, wolf packs, and some forums for therians were intense I know previously therians and otherkin identities didn’t have to much of a difference besides animalistic tendencies or a way to further define an identity. Once this shift happened it became more so about earthly creatures or animals based on earth. earth mythics, animals that exist present day and extinct, and plants as well. I’m not an expert of the history of otherkin and therians so I would direct you to house of chimeras and who is page for more information over it gladly. If im wrong please correct me. That’s my understanding. This shift to earthly animals also carried a sentiment or notion of being more “real” than otherkin that I often experienced in the wolf packs and forums. Since they’re identities were based on “real” animals it made them more valid otherkin. An easy question I asked often or others would ask was a simple “why?” and the response I experienced a lot was “so were more credible/ don’t seem crazy” this was 8-9 years ago which was at the time the height of otherkin hate. It came across as a borderline phobia to be seen as an antikin steriotypes which were ableist stereotypes to begin with. some of these communities in reaction created ridged and strict cultures of how to be therian. This would leave an imprint on many people including myself.

so that was 8-9 years ago why do I bring it up? Because I still see this sentiment present just subtle.

Some things I feel were carried over is: Overly present and specific about kin types, an obsession with details and intricacies to a degree where its no longer beneficial to learn, embarrassed or shamed for certain kin types, a focal point on kin type tendencies and ignoring or pushing aside human experiences to further pronounce a kin type. A fixation on the past and not taking into account of the present, always centering around the past. I would say these behaviors in the community were influenced from the wolf pack cultural shift.

These are a remanent set of reactions from a more intense time of grilling, questioning and if validity was questioned your title could be easily taken away in close knit communities. I think the otherkin community still has some skeletons in the closet so to speak of a more intense time that a lot of members endured and witnessed. We passed on this culture, myself included as we grew up cause its how we learned to present our otherkinity. We can unlearn though and I think it’s time to push for more freedom and new ways to take on otherkinity. a larger problem I see is a fixation with the past which once it gets to a certain point I don’t think can be constructive or healthy. Exploring your past is good, gaining context for your actions and your background is good, but living in the past is not healthy. Reshaping how you live in the present by escaping to the past isn’t really healthy. I find it worrying how common it is for otherkin to not tie their humanity and the present to their identity. It hurts to say, it can be uncomfortable but being human is apart of our experience. Now my therapists always say “never damn a coping skill” if looking to the past and living in the past finds you comfort and it keeps you stable that’s ultimately a good thing your staying stable and keeps you functioning. I urge though for people to start to take the time to explore humanity with our otherkin identities and living more in the present. How your identity effects you right now. How people interact with you and what you can do to tie your otherkinity to the physical world to the present. I think it’s a balancing act ultimately trying to find a sweet spot between the past and the present. Not completely ignoring your past and only staying in the present or only living in the past and neglecting the present. Its not easy and something im actively working on myself.

I want to highlight the present cultural imprint the wolf pack phase in present day otherkin communties and how new otherkin members seeing and reacting to it. we as older members may not realize how impactful our words are and may not notice us carrying an imprint of the past with us. Here some quotes I picked up. I asked a few friends their experiences who had come as otherkin in the past 6 months. I was also able to get 1 anecdote anon from my tumblr after sending out a request earlier today they are also pretty recent. Here what they had to say. These are all anonymous.

“(tumblr)My experience was pretty good! The community is super open and friendly, or at least the side of it I'm on (idk about the fictionkin side of it which might be more controversial/full of discourse).

It was easy to get into which is good because I was super scared about it 😅” “(friend) the whole community is

scary, for me at least, mostly because some of the older grey muzzles seem really intimidating and cliquey

the discord group im in seems like really cool to me, they are all super nice and helpful but the rest of the community is super scary for me”

“(friend) [when asked about getting into the community] it's weird to me, it really is.

I've spent a good chunk of time just like

wondering what it could possibly mean to be "valid" otherkin

like, who's judgement is that? mine?”

My Take on otherkinity

Im telling my story because my mental illness causes me to fall into an undesired or taboo identity categories or stereotypes of otherkin often. I find instability, identities that are less material or easily relatable, signs of mental illness with otherkinity. Are swept under the rug. I’d like to change that and show that instability, less relatable, highly specific or vague identities are just as valid. My experiences can be something of an uncomfortable truth for some that otherkin can be cringy or be easier to target from outsiders. I ask to everyone that has some reservations about accepting more diverse identities to consider how beneficial these new perspectives bring to our community. These identities give a perspective and voice we are missing and is needed. It’s beneficial for our community to be heard fully so we can support and help everyone. Endels may have a perspective other therians/otherkin may not have considered before. the wider range of experiences about our community that we share the better. It gives us the tools to make the community even stronger.

I would say overall psychological kin are extremely diverse and no experience is going to be the same. Its difficult at best to say anything that all psychological kin experience because the definition is so broad. We all have unique and diverse stories and I’d like to encourage everyone to share them even if they show mental illness. Things like Delusions, trauma responses, trauma sourced, episodes and regression. I would love to see more inclusivity for the messier and less understood part of psychological kin.

So lets get into some of my specific experiences. my identity is messy at the moment as my brain seems to have an interesting understanding of what a mightyena is. It has 2 images instead of one

These two images are houndoom and mightyena. Both of them I see myself as but are the same entity. My brain cant see the difference between the two as an identity at the moment. So theyre both “mightyena” its quirks like this that I think should be seen as more acceptable in the community because its messy at best. It has made me on several occasions go “that makes 0 sense” but from a trauma stand point it doesn’t surprise me

my brain has trouble picking only one. If my 5 year old or 3 year old brain attached itself to both images and called them the same then well that’s it im both of them at once. Brains don’t tend to work very logically and while it sounds confusing I would say it probably feels similar to having 2 kin types active at once. The two identities don’t blend (ie mightyena wolf hyena doesn’t breathe fire while houndoom does. ) I experience a range of both identities at once. They’re both mightyena it just so happens that image that’s associated with houndoom is present when something happens that only that pokemon could do or associated feelings or states. I would say theyre 2 different kin types except if I say I have a houndoom kin type I don’t think of anything and don’t feel anything. When I say I have a mightyena kin type I have images and feelings from both. They also cant seem to be separated both images and associations need the other. Its interesting. Its very funky. The wonderful world of trauma. Could probably make anew label for that but that’s alright im not one for labels.

I experience something I call m-shifting which is really animal regression. It’s called m shifting because I was previously in an p-shifting cult where it developed it. it’s uncontrollable but I can start it or trigger it if I want to. When I go into an m-shift I cant understand English, read English, walk on two legs well, speak, or know basic things most people would know. My brain goes into instincts and impulses. I don’t think critically or contemplate much. My thoughts are in images and feelings. Its fun. But its difficult to control, I find it’s a way for me to relieve stress in excess when I cant seem to find a good outlet for it. this is part of my identity is what makes me relate to the werewolf community so much since its involuntary and frowned upon generally to greater society .(aka internalized ableism) One of my biggest fears is shifting in public or with friends. It’s hard on me for sure.

Another thing that effects me is coping linking as someone who deals with trauma I have found lately I’m starting to create involuntary coping links. I had a brief coping link as a sled dog its purpose was the personality of a sled dog was something I needed to be at the moment to stay functional and coherent once I learned to do that without my coping link it went away. I notice myself having brief coping links on and off each of them usually teach me something or a skill I couldn’t fully understand yet.

I experience false memories. My memories change depending on my identity. I don’t force or make them change they simply do.

they hold the same narrative throughout all the changes though. The narrative from what I understand seems to be a re telling of my trauma. My false memories don’t seem to be a major part of my identity and I think I may have them simply because of p-shifting cult trauma and the pressure to have a past life or noemata. I think my false memories are a way to retell my trauma in a form that gives me validation as an animal. I do know seeing myself as human in memories is inherently triggering for me as I cant recognize myself so a set of false memories that lets me see myself in those situations as an animal is comforting and validating. It helps me evaluate my trauma better and understand why I feel the way I do about trauma. A dog that looses its molars would be distraught while a human doesn’t really care if they get wisdom teeth removed. Evaluating trauma through an animalstic lens has helped me immensely. I’ve noticed the more I evaluate and see my trauma through an animal lens the weaker my false memories become and I think that’s neat.

My perspective of the world also changes as my identity shifts

I see the world differently as a mightyena than I do as a threatening wolf. Objects, people, environments and habitats have different meanings to me and associations according to shifts and how my identity changes. These associations and meanings are ones that either I had when I was a child, or ones I repressed due to being childish or something I didn’t see as acceptable at the time. So my identity now has a wider range of perspective. My threatening wolf perspective toned down a lot and let the repressed associations and meanings take a more dominant role.

Another thing that effects my otherkinity is when it comes to species dysphoria I would say it’s a large factor in how I experience otherkinity. I would say my otherkintiy is something very based in the present. I don’t think about my kintypes past, I don’t think about its future or let my mind wander off a lot about whats going on with it. I am usually observing it in the present moment. A big part of that is my species dysphoria which tells me a lot about what I am. I’m trans female to male though that’s debatable as im considering a gender to my kintype. Human gender dysphoria is something that bothers me a decent amount. What has sent me to therapy though is species dysphoria. It is unbearable for me. I have fangs, a tail, a collar, wolfsbane pendant for mythology about werewolves, pointed nails, short hair thicker hair to resemble my kin type. I had to learn how to make animal vocalizations like growling, snarling, whimpering because I felt incredibly stressed being unable to emote properly. I learned to walk on all fours and run as well. I learned to play and move like an animal mostly from m shifting but it helps immensely. Getting on T has helped a lot as I got furrier, deeper voice, thicker hair, generally able to gain muscle better. Overall has helped my species dysphoria. Its something I’ve always had that brings me immense discomfort. I’m planning to make a prosthetic muzzle to wear and possibly some ears.

This dysphoria is apparent when you see me on the street cause im wearing a collar, tail everything I can’t hide my otherkinity because it triggers my species dysphoria to much to hide it so I just have to roll with it. the census? Its really not that bad being out or showing im otherkin. It’s a good conversation starter and most people are friendly about it here which has been nice. I do get asked if im a furry I usually say yes just cause I don’t feel like explaining otherkinity. If someone asks why I usually just say I see myself as an animal. Responses are mixed but people are polite about it. wearing gear makes me feel much more grounded in where I stand with my identity. I noticed a feel much more confident about myself when I am being myself unabashedly. Who knew. Also planning to get some combat boots and add some spikes to them to imitate claws. Should be fun.

Heading back to my weird quirks and otherkinity experience Phantom shifts are something I experience all the time 24/7. In part due to p-shifting cult and also a way to manage my species dysphoria. It’s pretty intense for me and its something I find comfort in and encourage. It’s a way for me to find the world more relatable. Often these shifts calm me down and make it easier for me to navigate the world. I would say my phantom shifts only effects parts of my body im aware of not my entire body all the time. Rather whatever body parts im using. It also does its best to not have any “clipping” through objects and my shift may phase out if there may be clipping to a body part im aware of.

Lastly My gender and sexuality I would say tie to my kintype as well. Im attracted to otherkin moreso than humans. I really like animalistic aspects to people and traits I see in my kintype in other people. I find I get along best with canine kintypes. My gender im realizing is more so tied heavily to my kintype I want to be a male mightyena whatever that entails and it plays closely with my species dysphoria. I find when I relieve my species dysphoria I tend to also relieve a bit of my gender dysphoria to. I say im ftm as a short hand because that’s what my kintypes gender seems to line up with the most. Though I think that will be less and less the case as I start wearing things like a prosthetic muzzle which is pretty animal gender to me.

Therapy and Otherkinity

On this topic I would like to talk about how therapy and otherkinity interact cause that’s something central to this panel. For me I always noticed that when I am given analogies in therapy they are always about an inner child, how I was as a human kid, how I am as an adult. These things are good but they lack the context of me as a whole. I am not just a human I am an animal in a human body which changes a lot in how I’ve had to take care of myself and apply advice given to me by professionals. For one I always have to tell professionals im otherkin and what that entails. That it isn’t a hobby or one aspect of me but something that impacts my entire perspective. Methods of self soothing just wont work for me if I don’t change some wording around. There is no inner child for me personally theres a puppy and a puppy seeks out an entirely different sets of behaviors, emotions, and emotes/ way of communication than an inner child would. You would be able to talk to an inner child hug them and act as a type of parent to them. With a puppy I tend to act more as an owner or an animal parent depending on whats needed.as an owner i have to bridge the communication gap with things like chew toys, petting, dark cozy places, brushing or grooming, non verbal communication

which plays a much larger part in my healing process than what I read or what methods im taught. As an owner to myself I have to learn to take care of my inner puppy the way I needed which can be difficult when no one you know has to follow that method. As an animal parent I also have to act as I am, an animal to my inner puppy that’s what we both understand the common language we speak is non human and is critical to my healing. I find protecting my inner puppy as an animal parent gives me a larger sense of catharsis it feels like something I can finally understand however the methods don’t translate well to the real world. I cant just snarl at people I have to talk to them in a disagreement. I cant go hunting I have to go shopping. Which is why having both an owner and an animal parent.

Both are important because both aspects cant be ignored and need to be used in tandem.

Healing for me when it comes to trauma involves a lot of balancing between my human life and my animalistic needs which is something I have had to do and explain to therapists the difficulties of doing so. I notice most therapists I have met cant seem to grasp this and see otherkinity as more of a metaphor than an identity. I noticed a lot of my therapists would just change metaphors to talk to me instead of reshaping a technique for healing which has caused a lot of problems. An example I can think off the top of my head is instead of “a family sticks together” may be “a wolf pack sticks together” which is helpful sometimes but if it’s the only change it becomes detrimental to me. Often because while not intentional I think a lot of therapies are human-centric. There is an assumption you are human in order to apply the coping techniques or healing strategies. This lead to me unintentionally repressing a larger chunk of my otherkinity just because I was applying these skills without changing anything. Sometimes present day I still fall into this and notice it triggers my species dysphoria to worsen. It can be difficult to spot for me as well because otherkinity is so uncommon no one else is having the same issue in my real life friend groups. So I assume whatever im doing must be ok cause it seems to work ok for everyone else. Which ends up not being the case.

A solution I’ve found to help with this is for one explaining as I go with a therapist what is and is not working. I have to be an advocate for myself and teach them as well what I like and what works and what doesn’t. I try my best to let them know when something they do is detrimental. I also try to explain what brings me comfort and what doesn’t. a nice talk isn’t going to help my puppy self but a hug would. Things like that. When it comes to internal imagery some therapists use I know stating to them youd like them to consider your kintype as yourself has helped me by them not seeing me as a fully human being or just my irl body. overall I hope this talk has helped some people. Given some new perspectives. And I am happy or reiterate some topics I went over. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#long post #it was 11 pages #im so sorry #otherkin #therian #fictionkin #psychologicalkin

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jeannereames · 3 years

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Super weird question, but how did women in ancient times deal with their periods? Was it taboo? Was it acknowledged at all?

Pretty much everywhere, women on their menses have been expected to take special care, as bleeding is viewed as disruptive. What “disruptive” means, however, varies, and here we get into technicalities that can sound a bit odd to modern ears. Stick with me. I’m going to divide this into “How menstruating women were viewed” versus “What women actually did about it.”

Part I: How menstruation was viewed

Throughout the ancient Mediterranean and Ancient Near East (ANE), both women menstruating and women who’d just given birth were regarded as “ritually unclean.”

This should not be confused with sin. First, “sin” was much more of a thing in the ANE (and Carthage) than in Greece and Rome, where “impiety” mattered more. This is not hair-splitting. While “sin” could include strictly religious affronts, it also embraced a lot of what we’d call immoral behavior. By contrast, “impiety” might include moral affronts, but was more focused on religious error.

I’m trying to avoid going down the rabbit-hole of sin vs. impiety. The main thing I want to point out is that sin in the ANE carries different overtones than Greco-Roman impiety. And neither of them is necessarily connected to ritual impurity.

Certain aspects of human life were “unclean” and all involved bodily fluids. These “unclean” actions or states are things that you are not allowed to enter a sanctuary after doing, or are not allowed to do in a sanctuary. And I say “sanctuary” (temenos) because this is the broadest term for “land that is cut off as sacred.” Sacred space was set apart for the gods.

For the Greeks, one was not permitted to kill in a sanctuary, or have sex. One might be bad, but the other wasn’t. Similarly, someone who’d committed murder (not in war), especially kin murder, was barred, even if the killing was accidental. And not only could you not have sex IN a sanctuary, if you’d had sex the night before, you couldn’t enter until taking a special bath. Likewise, a woman on her menses couldn’t enter a sanctuary, nor could a woman who’d given birth. A certain number of days were required for a new mother to wait. That doesn’t mean having a period, much less giving birth, were “bad” things. Certain diseases weren’t permitted in some sanctuaries (except those to Asclepius). All Greek (and Roman) sanctuaries had “rules” about who was, and wasn’t, allowed inside that could be highly arbitrary. Some sites permitted only members of that city-state, or perhaps barred members of certain other city-states. Spartans might be barred from sanctuaries in Argos, for instance. Some sites wouldn’t allow women, others allowed only married women, etc. Many if not most chthonic sites required the one entering to have no bindings, from sandal lacings to braided hair. The restrictions depended on the god (or hero) involved.

But the broader matter of ritually clean or unclean spanned sites. Being “cleansed” was usually pretty easy. It involved taking a bath, or waiting a given set of days. In the case of murder, it might be more complicated, and involve a trip to Delphi (to be thwapped on the shoulders with a laurel branch), but the MORAL side wasn’t considered. So if you had sex with your wife, or committed adultery with your neighbor’s wife… either way, you’re ritually unclean. If you killed your brother with premeditation, or just knocked over somebody accidentally in the street who hit his head on a rock (and died)…you’re ritually unclean.

It’s not that murder or adultery wouldn’t carry their own CIVIC repercussions, but in terms of religious purity, it’s a different matter.

In the ANE, similar restrictions surrounded menstruating women (or those who’d recently given birth). There, it was also ritual purity, not sin, and the concern is sacred space.

Now, if you want a completely different view, I give you American Indian attitudes, at least those I know of the NE woodlands. Here, also, menstruating women were restricted in their contact, mainly with medicine men (not necessarily medicine women), as well as where they could sit relative to the Grandfather Drum. But in this case, it’s because menstruating women were regarded as so much more powerful than men, they disrupted male medicine. Why? They could give birth. (How this fit into ideas of the third gender varied, but there were men, and male-bodied; women and female-bodied, so a menstruating man might be subject to the same restrictions.) In any case, here, too, women’s menses were disruptive but for positive reasons.

We have to figure out how any particular group actually understood what was going on, not make assumptions based on our (culture-locked) views of their (equally culture-locked) actions.

Part II: What did you do when Auntie Flo came to visit?

Before I go into details, let me first recommend a really great book that addresses not just the status of women in ancient Greece but women’s health using the Hippokratic Corpus. As I frequently tell my students, the status of women in ancient societies depends on two things: control of fertility, and control of her own finances. Demand’s book addresses especially the former, and she talks about the states of a woman’s life, from birth to first menses to marriage to childbirth to menopause (for those lucky enough to live that long).

Birth, Death and Motherhood in Classical Greece, Nancy Demand, Johns Hopkins UP, 1990.

So, the practical side.

The BIG problem with such logistical matters is 1) that stuff doesn’t survive except under special, unusual circumstances, and 2) men mostly ignored what women did about Those Things. So they didn’t write about it. But we know a few things.

The first tampons, at least in the west (not counting Americas), seem to have been invented by the Egyptians. Softened papyrus around a reed. (Even softened…ow.) I note that women in Egyptian society had relatively high status and more freedom, so the fact they invented tampons doesn’t surprise me.

I wish we knew more about societies like the Scythians, where women regularly rode and (past a certain age) fought on horseback. Similarly with the Illyrians. But at least the concept of a “plug” was out there early. The Hippocratic corpus says Greek women put lint around a stick: same purpose. Romans used wool.

But these societies aren’t giving tampons to virginal girls. And not just because it might be uncomfortable. It could break the hymen…and that’s potentially disastrous for her reputation. But also, ancient tampons probably wouldn’t have been easy for young girls to use. (Modern tampons aren’t always easy for young girls to use,)

There are mentions of something like a menstrual belt, with clips for cloth pads. One can assume an enterprising ancient woman came up with the idea of a pad between the legs and something to hold it up pretty early. Certainly, the notion of the “girdle” was known to the Greeks and associated with virginity, first menarch, and marriage.

Other societies, however, weren’t that kind. Women stuffed rags into their underwear. Or they simply bled into their clothes. (Yuk.) My impression, though, is that just because the society in question isn’t writing about it (assuming they’re writing at all) doesn’t mean women IN that society hadn’t figured out how to deal with Auntie Flo. Certainly, there’s also hints of various teas brewed to deal with cramps.

A final, sorta wacky ancient idea I’ll leave you with … as I’ve mentioned in a few asks before, the ancients mostly had bad knowledge of women’s bodies. They thought the womb sorta wandered around inside the body causing havoc unless a woman was preggers. They also didn’t understand that menstrual “blood” was mostly fluid (and a little blood to give it color) from the womb shedding. They thought it was blood, which came from all parts of the woman’s body. And they assumed she was losing a LOT more of it than we know today to be true, even for those with a heavy flow.

But they also believed it was that blood from which babies were made. It was almost like soil, into which the father planted seed. Once fertilized, the blood turned into flesh and “built” a baby.

Yeah, weird, but they didn’t understand reproductive cell replication.

Another titbit…even at a very early period, menstruation was connected to the moon. Modern research has shown little connection between lunar cycle and menstruation (aside from the 28-day thing), but the ancients believed in it. So “moon-bleed” is a not uncommon term for menstruation. And of course, the term “menses” is the plural of the Latin word for “month.”

#menstruation #menses #ancient menstruation #ancient attitudes about female menstruation #ancient tampons #Egyptian tampons #menstrual pad belts #Nancy Demand #ancient Greek views of women's bodies #ritual purity #ritual impurity #Classics #tagamemnon #asks

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kariachi · 3 years

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This is it y’all, a day literal months in the coming- here and now I shall liveblog Dragon’s Kin, by Anne and Todd McCaffrey. By which I mean I will read Dragon’s Kin and take note of anything interesting, valuable, or just that comes to my mind. I have never read this book, it’s still in the plastic packaging it came in, I have never read a Todd book.

We’ll see if I survive.

Before I even open the damn thing, I am looking at the image of the McCaffreys on the back and let me say they look like they should be villains in a comedy western.

A Pass brings with it increased earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic activity, due to the whole ‘other celestial body coming in hot’ thing. Which actually makes a lot of sense, certainly more than anything else relating to Threadfall. (“charred bone” is this a fungus or a wildfire)

“Under the leadership of the Lord Holders and Weyrleaders-” *screams into aether*

It took until 16 years prior to the 3rd Pass for the Northern Continent to run out of surface coal and have to start actually digging for the shit

Everybody: Whers? Bah, not much to them, not good for much. Journeyman Miner Natalon: But consider, they might be awesome MasterMiner Britell: Hmmm, I’m keeping an eye on this one...

Chapter 1: “In early morning light I see: A distant dragon come to me”

We meet our main character, Kindan. His sister is getting married, good for her. Shame about the plot that’s going to happen later.

Having a watchwher gets you private housing. Also aw, the wher took their name from Kindan’s father that’s so sweet.

This just in, two boys can’t hang with dragons, settle instead for the simple pleasure of watchwher washing

Zenor: Dragons look like they’re soft, not like watchwhers Kindan: Bitch-

So our biggest asshole so far is a Tarik and honestly I’d be sending him back to the Hall with a nice long report of exactly how much of a fuckwit he is. And I’ve only known him a few pages.

And we meet the other major character- Nuella- who is apparently Somebody though who we have no idea

Oh gods Kindan’s mother is dead, his sister is marrying and leaving, and his father and Dask’s fates are in the fucking summary. Boy is about to have a time.

He has brothers! Well thank fuck.

Whers have external ears

Also I have only known Dask for two paragraphs but I love him

“Then Dask gave a little happy chirp, flapped his wings once, and vanished.” Whers can between, alone and from the ground. Apparently Dask does it all the time go he can avoid the lights from the camp.

Dask is brown, I was figuring but nice to know

Kindan, assuming dragons are harder to wash because they’re fucking massive and need oiling and shit (whers, the dragonkin for the common working fucker)

Chapter 2: “It’s skin is bronze, it’s eyes are green; It’s the loveliest dragon I’ve ever seen”

Damn Kindan’s family is a mess, his brothers are all dicks, his sisters are supposeldy dicks but we haven’t seen them, and the only decent fuckers are leaving or dying

Kindan’s Sister: Kaylek, my brother who loves to sing but couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, you shall sing at my wedding Master Harper: Over my dead body he will!

Kindan’s siblings may be shit, but he’ll be damned if he allows them to talked bad about by some non-relative and he’s stubborn as a wher himself about it

Am I reading a fucking fairytale film? The new Harper is a dick until he realises ‘oh wait, this kid isn’t complete shit, I shouldn’t have said the seriously horrible things I did’

(Seriously “to think your mother died giving birth to you”, I want Dask to eat him too)

Well it’s nice to see that the ‘whers fly at night because the air is thicker’ thing is only speculation by people with no fucking teachings with regard to that shit. At least so far.

Kindan really just went on a paragraph long internal monologue about the value of miners to the function and survival of Pern and for all he doesn’t in his heart want to be one I kinda want to see him grow into it now. Stories of stepping away from what’s expected of you and forging your own path are great (I’ve been writing some) but stories of falling in love with what before looked like something to be avoided can also be nice.

And now we get a two paragraph internal monologue about how awesome whers are. Best miners ever.

“Traditionally, the marriage ceremony was performed in the morning, timed so that as the couple completed their marriage vows, the sun would rise, signifying the warmth of the new relationship and how it would lighten not only the bride and groom but also all those associated with them.” Awwww!!!!

“However, such a ceremony would mean Dask could not attend. So Jofri had come up with the idea of performing the ceremony with the setting sun, instead, and lighting a bonfire as the final vows were made.” Awwwwwww!!!!!!!

For all the shit you hear and see relating to whers in earlier and later periods (that they’re ugly, and disliked, and kept chained up) it’s so nice to see Dask truly be part of the family, so much so that they changed the fucking wedding to accommodate him. I want this to be the tradition of handler families now. And then we have to remember that one of the other handlers for the camp straight up fucking left because Tarik was being a dick to his wher and he wasn’t having it. Yes, give me wher love.

Oh my gods Dask flying about with a glow in his claws to act as a spotlight as his handler’s daughter walks down the aisle this is so sweet!

And he’s singing along to the music!

He’s doing the groom too! Dask is a gift!

“For now that these two are one, we are all more,“ Master Zist intoned. He placed Silstra’s hand in Terregar’s and kissed each lightly on the cheek. “To Terregar and Silstra!”

The crowd stood up and roared back: “To Terregar and Silstra!”

“Long life and happiness!” Master Zist intoned.

“Long life and happiness!” the crowd roared back.

Kindan and Nuella officially meet.

Nuella, taking advantage of Kindan not wanting to get given chores on this the night of his sister’s wedding and her own presumed misbehavior to get him to keep her well away from any authority.

Nuella is sheltered as fuck, she hasn’t even seen a mashed potato before

Ah, she’s the twin of the big boss’s son. Don’t know why she’s being so fucking hidden I mean good fuck, but, at least we know who she is.

Aw, Zenor is her bestfriend. Not that she has many options but still

Seven fucking brothers! And an unknown number of sisters! No wonder their mother died having the last one, she birthed at least nine surviving children! Do you know how many she’d have had to have to get those numbers? Was she born pregnant, wtf?

Chapter 3: “Watch-wher, whatch-wher in the night; Guard our Hold, keep it right; When the morning sun does come; Watch-wher, then you job is done”

Aw, Kindan’s relationship with the his brothers is healing

Also Zist is a fucking taskmaster. He gets results but damn, man, chill.

The big boss’s son is apparently a sickly child

Dask has been in A Mood which is a never a good sign when you’re talking about your security critter

Miners’ children all just ‘it’s too quiet, something is wrong’ like they’re fucking birds. Not that they’re wrong, mind, but still

Welp, bad air was released and sparked before Dask could warn the miners (I assume a pocket got opened as somebody else struck some stone) and now we’ve got a cave-in. Dask got out and is now killing himself trying to rescue the miners.

Damn his father and his brothers in one day. And Dask fucking dying in his arms after managing to save the survivors despite bleeding out with his handler dead (which, even if whers can outlive their handlers he had to have felt, he’s dragonkin he’d have noticed the bond breaking, he was doing this despite knowing that he wouldn’t find Danil alive on the other side. Was he this dedicated to his work, was he hoping to save Danil’s boys, we’ll never know).

Pour one out for Danil, who did his damnedest to take care of his children, and for Dask, who was too damn good for us.

Zenor survived, but his father is also dead. He and Kaylek saved the poor boy’s life in exchange for their own. Gods the last thoughts that must’ve been going through that man’s head, as he realized that the mine was collapsing and he had brought his son in with him despite him not being near old enough...

Seriously y’all I’m crying

Chapter 4: “I am too big to cry; And my voice is too shy; To sing my sad, sad song; Or say the words I long; To say to you- good-bye, good-bye.”

The book says Kindan is the youngest of nine. It also says he has seven brothers and plural sisters. And the sisters at least lasted long enough to give him shit growing up. The book lies to me.

Okay so, Kindan’s got two siblings remaining- Jakris and Tofir- one of whom has been fostered to I think a sister of theirs? Kindan doesn’t note who ‘Terra and her husband’ are otherwise so I assume it’s another older sister and another of which has been fostered to Crom Hold where he’ll be learning art and maybe someday mapmaking. Kindan is still in the camp.

Zenor wants to take over his dad’s role of miner like boy you are ten stop

Ah, Kindan wants to stay.

If somebody would light Tarik on fire please? Especially given that he’s sitting here claiming the mining will be better without them when it’s already been stated that the shift with a wher gets more ore out of the ground per shift than the the others because the wher itself is a fantastic digger.

Zist: We need someone to raise Kindan Natalon: So good of you to volunteer Zist: o.o

Nobody likes Tarik, good, send the man back to Crom, let them deal with his ass.

And more confirmation that Kindan has sisters, I really need this book to make up it’s mind

Nuella is upset she’ll have to avoid the Harper’s cottage with Kindan living in it

Zist: If I’m going to raise this child then damnit I’m making him a harper

We’re getting much character stuff but not much actually interesting

Chimney got clogged at the big boss’s house, Kindan managed to save the lot by coming by and noticing, the existence of Nuella is now known to him.

Kindan can keep a secret, he is taking to harpering well

Mine’s having a lot of minor accidents

And now big boss’s wife’s baby is coming early, these fuckers just cannot catch a break

Nuella and her brother switching places back and forth so she can be involved in shit. Also she has some mind for healing

Zist had a daughter at one point- Carissa. Nice name

Also the baby is fine, a month early but fine. She doesn’t have a name yet, I will keep y’all updated

Chapter 5: “A baby’s cry, a mother’s sigh; Sweet things make a day go by”

Zist, having Kindan run around the camp telling adults what they need to do: It’ll be an interesting challenge for you Kindan, Telling the big boss that Zist offered to do his administrative work: He said it would be an interesting challenge for him

Oh shit Nuella is blind! Honestly, fucking slow clap for not making a big deal of it so far

The Traders have women of rank. I know this is a second Interval story but still, worth noting. Shit hasn’t gone completely to shit for the women yet

Nuella is having a crisis because she has no information including on things like ‘women don’t have to bake or be mothers, there are in fact options’. All of this is not helped by her mother stressing out about whether little Larissa is going to go blind like her sister did. Apparently shit went downhill when she was three and now her life is stress and isolation.

Okay, so Natalon’s mother was blind, and now his daughter is blind, and he’s trying to hide it from everybody for fear people are going to think there’s something wrong with him and will stop working with them and that nobody will want to marry his son. He’s given up on Nuella marrying. I want to smack him and adopt his children out to good homes.

Kindan, age 11, starting to realize girls can in fact be cute

Also they’re disguising her so she can play at the ‘yay there’s finally some new company for a few days’ Gather

Even Tarik’s fucking cronies don’t like him!

Nuella’s parents and brother are aware she’s there. No scene will be made.

Nuella getting to dance while Zist chides Kindan about not setting up his also 11-yo friends. “They’re too young to match, and you’re too young to be a matchmaker.”

Ooo, the mysterious missing 8th apprentice was a wherhandler and decided fuck that noise. Can’t blame him, I wouldn’t want ot deal with Tarik either

The assumption is he’d rather face his master’s wrath than work there, which peeps nothign that they’d all rather die than face their own masters’ wraths, and the noting that he may well have been worried about losing his wher to all this shit. Which makes sense with how hostile Tarik has made the place for them

Chapter 6: “Cromcoal, Cromcoal, burning bright; Warm the cold of winter’s night; Cromcoal Cromcoal, underground; Where the best of all coal’s found”

They are calling a dragon to take them to someone called Aleesa for, presumably, a wher egg. We are nearly halfway through this book, by the way, which is a little fucking late to finally be bringing in the wher egg but sure, fine.

Aleesa is the handle or a gold wher. Apparently the title for that is Master. So you get Weyrwomen and Whermasters. That’s pretty cool.

Kindan sees a dragon take note of the ‘we need a dragon’ flag and “Zist listened appreciatively and guided him to crafting a better tale, so that by the end of a sevenday, Kindan’s story took a full fifteen minutes to tell and left all eyes peering up to the sky, hoping for a glimpse of their own.”

Zist has Timed It before. Apparently he accidentally spooked a dragon hatchling when he was younger and they Impressed his friend and at some point he timed it to go back and help himself fix the damage the panicked bronze did. A bronze whose rider is now a Weyrleader, by the by. He’s figuring if it seems like they’ll miss their meeting to get the egg then hopefully they can Time It to get there on time.

Telgar Weyrleader D’gan shows up a week late, bitches about it not being an emergency, talks shit about everybody and everything, is lucky to leave with his life (I’d have killed him). Zist is, I assume, about to call Benden to actually get shit done.

“So, Kindan, what did you think of your first look at a dragon?” “Oh, they’re pretty enough, but you’d never fit one in a mine.”

Benden Weyrleader M’tal, being a proper fucking dragonrider who understands what his fucking duties are, is going to get shit done

People out here respecting whers and their importance, you love to see it.

Chapter 7: “Watch-wher, watch-wher in the mine; Help save life, yours and mine; Guide us in the darkest night; With your keen unfailing sight”

Gaminth reassuring Kindan as they travel Between.

“-to keep the hatchling warm until it’s second, tougher coat came in” Do, do whers shed their skin like birds molt baby fluff? Start with soft wherlet skin and then shed that for tough wher skin? I am amazed and also that’s adorable.

So, you’ve gotta convince the gold to let you pick one of her eggs to take with you. I presume if she says no and you press the matter she eats you.

Oh gods wherhandlers blood their children to their whers! Oh my gods that’s adorable! Make the babies pack! Gods how strong is that did Dask now how many of them were dead dear gods now I’m sad again-

Talking to the queen wher, being polite, sending her mental images, Kindan is a Good Boy

Wher eggs glow! Dimly but they glow! Also good boy Kindan, compliment those eggs!

Also they are half the size of dragon eggs and have wrinkles. (I assume wher eggs are more like snake eggs at first...)

“Eeny, meeny, tipsy, teeny, ah vu bumberosha, nineteen hundred and two, I pick you.” And he gets one with a ring around it in wrinkle.

Aleesa is a fucking Queen, sending Kindan, Zist, a Weyrleader, and the big boss away with a simple “You bore me.” She does make sure to compliment Kindan on a job well done and to reinforce that she expects her payment (which she’d have gotten either way, by the way, wher eggs are pricey and you’re paying for a shot at being allowed to have one)

On the topic of feeding wherlets:

“We’ve been experimenting, actually, on the best post-hatching meal. Watch-whers are not as insatiable as dragons, but they will gulp down meat and sometimes choke, as you know.” She pinned Kindan with a fiery glare, and he nodded as if he knew exactly what she meant. “D’you have oats?”

Kindan nodded, glancing over at Natalon to be sure he was also listening to Aleesa.

“Then arrange to get fresh blood from whoever butchers at the camp. Make porridge of the oats, using water, and add the blood as the oats thicken in the pot. I’d say a half-pail a day should be sufficient. If you keep the blood cool, a pailful should last over a day or two, no trouble. Most camps or Holds slaughter every other day. Feed it was often as it wants, and some of the liver and lungs that might go to waste otherwise. Don’t start meat hunks until three months, when it has enough back teeth to chew with. You can continue with porridge feeds in the morning until the hatchling starts to coats out.”

So the fuckers don’t start with all their teeth on top of everything.

Chapter 8: “Watch-wher, watch-wher in the egg; Grant to me the boon I beg”

This delight of a child is making porridge constantly so that it’ll be ready when the bab hatches. And then when it starts hatching he immediately darts for the porridge.

Bab eats like a fucking garbage disposal

She is also currently assumed to be green and apparently whers have notable enough bits to tell sex even if you can’t be sure of color

Kindan do not call the bab ugly, she is doing her best

“Did it give you a name?” “I didn’t ask.” “It is enough like a dragon to know it’s own name?” “I don’t know.”

“She’s not as big as I thought she would be.“

“Big enough to have the appetite of nine dragons,“ Kindan, almost proudly.

This girl is adorable

The Harper followed him out to the shed and greeted Zenor, who hadn’t moved from the spot in which Kindan had left him. The hatchling had been trying to crawl up his legs, her hungry bleek more insistent.

She has been blooded but not named. Kindan is moving in with her.

Nuella you’re a doll but if you can not assume that a baby can eat whatever an adult can eat, especially when Kindan is working off the knowledge of someone who actually, ya know, has experience with this shit? It’d be great.

The bab is now named Kisk and it’s pretty apparent she named her own damn self, for all that she didn’t use words.

Kindan, in a very 11-yo moment, wonders whether the WherMaster actually knows anything about raising whers since weaning his early worked out fine

Wherlet playing, I repeat, wherlet playing, far too adorable

Kisk is going to be a good little guard, already rooting out people who are where they shouldn’t be

Tarik’s wife likes whers! And is teaching her children to like whers! As all good people should!

Cristov, son of Tarik the Dick, is trying to make up his own mind about whers and-

Kisk darted her tongue out and licked Cristov’s outstretched hand before he could pull it bac,k. She made a sad, don’t-you-like-me noise at Cristov

Tarik: *talks shit like he’s got anything going for him* His Wife: *is gonna fucking smack him if he doesn’t start with some basic decency*

Kisk keeping Kindan up all damn night

Chapter 9: “Walk, baby, walk, come to me; Soon, baby, soon, you’ll walk away from me”

And now they’re trying to say Zenor and Nuella were born and raised in the camp despite saying earlier in the book that they’d been there less than a year two years ago.

Also at 3 months Kisk is 12 hands high at the shoulder and 40 from nose to tail. Which is about 4 ft by 13 ft, and still growing.

Kindan, hit with the sudden realization that oh, yeah, being a wherhandler is going to mean not being a harper

Nuella if anything the fact Kindan can’t see in the dark and doesn’t know where he’s going is all the more reason it’d be better training for Kisk to lead him than you, who knows this tunnel like the back of her hand, blind or no

Ooo, Tarik the Dick had a camp the failed, so now he’s all sour because his nephew’s doing better than him.

M’tal is here, Telgar is still bitches (what is it with Telgar being assholes?) and whers apparently don’t have the same problems with oiling and shit dragons do despite growing far faster which makes no damn sense but sure

Whers and dragons can chat amongst themselves, to the surprise of noone, or at least not me.

Nuella’s sweet on Zenor and honestly, go for it kiddo

Kisk is starting to learn.

Chapter 10: Hot air rises, cold air falls; These are thermodynamic laws

(Fuckers expect me to believe the Pernese couldn’t keep the word ‘year’ but ‘thermodynamic’ survived)

Nuella theorizing that whers see heat because she can feel it. I want to say it’s because she’s twelve and, as kids do, thinks she knows everything, but the more I read the more I’m fairly sure it’s just that the McCaffrey’s want her to be Amazing and The Best (which, ugh) and so are just, doing this. It doesn’t work.

Dragonriders here looking for a potential goldrider (very clearly Nuella from the conversation) and lamenting that based on the dragon’s description she might be blind and therefor ‘unable to Impress’ and just- Shit that makes you wanna throw things

Ya know they did so good before they revealed Nuella is blind. She was just another kid then, it was nice, but now... I love her but my hackles are raising

Also can I just say that whers seeing heat is the stupidest thing I’ve heard yet, given everything we know about their anatomy leads to them seeing in the darkness like everything else with massive fucking eyes and a nocturnal disposition.

Operation: Teach Whers to Bespeak Dragons During Emergencies is a go

Nuella claiming that whers can’t be taught to Between because nobody can see heat like they (apparently) can and we’re to take this as gospel despite the like, second thing Dask ever did on-page being to Between on his lonesome. Did these people not have editors? It didn’t seem so bad at first but as time goes on and we get more shit that contradicts other shit (we got contradicting information within pages of each other for fuck’s sake) I am slowly losing my mind

Tarik continues to be a dick and refuses to shore up his tunnels correctly. And he wonders why he lost his fucking camp.

Kindan saw through Kisk’s eyes during hide-and-seek

Chapter 11: “Watch-wher, watch-wher, guard us all; With your dragon-summoning call”

Turns out wherhandlers don’t take well to some dragonrider coming by and trying to teach them about their whers.

Nuella is being offered the chance to go teach whers to chat with dragons.

Everyone is supportive even while she has a quick little existential breakdown that’s probably been building for a while

We skip forward to Nuella going via dragon to Lemos to start her work. Dragons like her and she takes well to Between

Wherhandlers really can’t do well learning from dragonriders because their critters are so different

Nuella is good at what she does.

There’s far too much of old men going ‘*gasp* this child suddenly reminds me of [blank] they are amazing’ though

Whers and their handlers are learning

Turns out, surprise surprise, whers are awesome

Chapter 12: “Harper, harper, sing me a song; Give me a tune that lasts all day long”

Feels like it’s trying too hard...

Tarik the Dick has caused a cave-in and now is refusing to do anything about it because he is, well, see above

There is a now a team of rescuers, mostly kids, out to save the day via secret passage and wher

Nuella: Lolanth, I need your rider to send word to the MasterMiner and also get the pumps pulling air out the mines Lolanth: I have told my rider, and called Gaminth, he and his are coming, and I’ve called Ista, they’re coming, and I’ve told the miners-

Lolanth is a Good Dragon who apparently does not go halfsies

Lolanth got everyone and their grandmother to this camp within thirty seconds

On the one hand, blind characters getting to be awesome, one the other, this is really leaning towards Magically Disabled. Nobody can hear things like Nuella can, nobody can work with whers like Nuella can, nobody is as smart as Nuella is, she’s 12 and better than the majority of the adults around her, just, if they could fucking chill for five minutes.

Also people are alive on the other side of the cave-in

Finally Kindan remembers that Dask could Between, and I promise you it’s going to turn out that he was a miracle and only Nuella (who has no idea what’s on the other side of the cave-in) can show Kisk where she needs to go

Wow, it’s like I’m magic

Chapter 13: “Watch-wher, watch-wher, do you know; All the places you can go?”

I’m glad everybody who survived the cave-in is saved but we just got a fucking paragraph “But it is I who have been blind” speech from Nuella’s father and just. Kill me, please.

And Kisk has decided to swap handlers and be Nuelsk now.

And Kindan is going off to become a Harper.

Okay, not the worst book I’ve read. There were places that needed editing, there was a lot of shit that contradicted each other (Kindan’s everchanging number of siblings just being one example), it had plenty of the McCaffrey’s trademark Totally Accurate Science, and the longer I spent reading it the more it felt like one of those ‘see, disabled people can also do things and be capable’ stories complete with a fucking “But it is I who have been blind” (literal quote, kill me now). And this shit is from 2003. On the plus side though, there’s plenty of quality wher content and the kids are fun when the writers aren’t on their little Not A Soapbox.

Overall, a 6/10, if someone wrote an anosmiac character this way I’d want their head on a stick no matter how badass they were.

#achi liveblogs #dragonriders of pern #whers #long as fuck

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tcheschirewrites · 4 years

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Hhhhhh and because I am In A Good Place right now, let’s have a little bonus short. You want to know what Justin and Jen have been up to, those two wiliest of snakes, while RC and Dick have been in Japane? Well, let’s find out!

(Considering the length - I accidentally 1.7k - and technically it’s plot-advancing, I guess we can consider this chapter 20.5? lol)

The dim lighting of so many of the gastropubs in the city gave him a headache. Like, sure. He understood the ambiance, along with the pulsing music at just a few decibels shy of a migraine, and yes, all right, he had spent his fair share of time in joints with far lower lighting and beats with far deeper bass, but in his regular day to day, the need to hobknob frustrated him.

Justin adjusted his tie, tugging it further away from his Adam’s apple.

From her seat across the table, texting Richard or checking her emails or scrolling Instagram or whatever it was she was doing when she was pretending she wasn’t paying attention, Jennifer scowled at him. She reached over to him, fussing lightly with his lapels, the creases of his shirt against his slouched posture.

“Stop doing that,” she chided, sliding the knot of the tie back to its position against his throat. “Can you seriously not keep still for two hours? You’re incredible.”

“This is what happens when I don’t have you to take care of me Jen,” he groused, discreetly loosening his tie just slightly when she looked away for half a moment.

“Can it,” she replied, sipping neatly from her water. “I think I see him coming.”

Out of reflex, Justin tightened his tie, running a hand over his hair. “You’re sure we’ve got everything we need this time?”

Jen glanced back at him over her shoulder, her eyes aglow in the low lighting of the restaurant, reminding him so very much of the Jennifer he had met during university, and his chest ached. “Oh yeah,” she said, and her tone was so self-assured he allowed himself a glimmer of a real smile.

His father strode up to the table, seating himself without waiting for a greeting. “I’ve spoken with Mr. Kaiba. His terms are outstanding. I hope you’ve decided as one that this acquisition is well within business interests?”

Justin was practiced at swallowing the dark bile of his father’s reptilian cruelty – Jen less so, though her tenure as a legal counselor had left her well equipped to don the proper mask for the situation. “You know, pops, we have. We’ve spoken with Dick Grant and our Chief Marketing Officer, and we all agreed that a total sale at these terms was an offer we couldn’t refuse.”

“Justin, you know I don’t abide movie references.”

Raising his hands in a gesture of surrender, mostly to field Jennifer leaping across the table to strangle his father, Justin allowed himself a chuckle. “I know, old man, but I think you’ll find it’s appropriate, considering the situation. We nailed that Japanese bastard hook, line, and sinker.”

“That’s wonderful news. I’ve read the proposal, and the extra numbers packet you provided me earlier. Third Star stands to make quite a bit of money from the sale of the market shares.”

“Fuck yeah, they do.” Justin’s lips curled into a grin at the furrow in his father’s brow. He knew exactly what was going through the scaly fucker’s mind – Justin had never been so crass in his presence before, never stooped so low as to be anything but formal in front of James. “As my C Suite are majority shareholders, I’m real happy for the decision they made. Gonna net them a shitload of a nest egg. And you know what? They earned it.”

There was an intense silence, obstructed only briefly by the server swinging by the table to gather a drink order from James only to be met with a brusque wave of his hand; he did not take his eyes off of his son’s face.

The silence lasted a beat longer, then; “You mean you earned it. Second-person plural. As CEO of the company, you’ve invested in the largest amount of shares – “

“Ahhh, yeah,” Justin cut him off smoothly, leaning back against the booth and threading his fingers to a basket behind his head. “About that.”

Jennifer stepped in here, digging into her bag for a brief moment before retrieving a manila folder. “I’m sorry to say, Mr. Carriger, sir, but Justin is actually no longer eligible to his rights as a shareholder in the event of a buyout.”

James did not take his eyes from Justin’s face. “You don’t say.”

“Mm.” She flicked open the folder expertly, spreading a couple of key documents over the table before situating herself back into her chair, taking another dainty sip of her water. “In the company bylaws, section thirteen article D, in the event of a buyout, any shareholder who has brought direct hard to an employee must forfeit the market value of those shares.”

The disgust in James’ eyes was palpable, and here he finally turned away from his son with a curl of his lip, rounding his attention to Jennifer. “I think you must be forgetting section sixteen, article B, that any executive who has lost their shares in the event of an accident will cede the market value of those shares to their next of kin.”

“Accident?” Jennifer batted her lashes at him, playing coy, playing dumb in a way that Justin knew she had learned in her years at law school and had only heard about second-hand. “Which accident are we talking about, sir?”

Verging on the edge of his patience, James replied, “The train accident – now, Justin is not directly responsible for the accident on the KaibaCorporation bullet train, but it can be acknowledged that his decisions as Chief Executive Officer are what led to your fiancé and that poor woman’s injuries. It’s my understanding they did not seek extraordinary compensation, and their dedication to the company is to be acknowledged, but – “

Jennifer let out a cooing laugh, grating and pretty and eminently false. “Oh, no, sir. To my understanding, neither party involved in the train accident in Domino were seeking punitive damages for their injuries. But that has absolutely no bearing on the sexual assault your son was involved in earlier this week with his subordinate, the Chief Marketing Officer of Third Star Gaming.”

Justin had to hand it to her: he had never seen his father so speechless, and even from his position as an observer, he had to crack a smile.

“He what.”

The smile plastered on Jennifer’s face widened, all glimmering teeth and threatening promise. “Oh yes, sir. It was reported to me only hours after it occurred, and I confirmed it with the victim shortly thereafter. Her statement is here, if you care to read it. I had it transcribed this afternoon for your convenience.”

From the mutinous look on James’ usually cool face, he did not care to read it. His cheeks began to spot with red, and Justin thought he saw his father’s pulse jump in his neck.

He retained his composure, though, turning back to his son, who raised his brows and shoulders in a gesture of feigned helplessness. “I find it difficult to believe that you would be so careless as to let your libido get the better of you, Justin. At such a critical juncture.”

The accusation was plain, and Justin said nothing, nodding briefly at Jen.

“Now, as you are aware, sir, pursuant to article 13 section D is the following addendum – “ She cleared her throat before continuing; “’If any executive person or persons from party A – that is, Third Star, as specified in line two of the company bylaws – bring egregious bodily harm or otherwise inflict considerable pain and suffering, then during the event of a complete corporate acquisition those shares would not transfer to next of kin (see: article ten, section K et al), but would instead be split amongst the remaining executives of party A.”

Jennifer smiled prettily at his father, and Justin had to admire the irony of the picture. “Now, I’m sure you’d agree that a confessed sexual assault falls into the category of both bodily harm and pain and suffering, but – “ She paused here to dig into her purse for another manila folder, this time much thicker, and slapped it onto the table in front of James with such force that the silverware rattled. “Even if you don’t agree, it’s all right, because we’ve checked with insurance and HR.”

James did not move, instead staring at the thick folder before him with such intensity that Justin thought it might catch fire. Finally, he raised his sharp blue eyes to his son’s face, and Justin had to wonder at the electricity in those eyes – eyes he had so long been spellbound by, locked into place by some wretched sense of duty.

“You son of a bitch.”

Under any other circumstances, Justin would have seized the other man by his collar, throttled him, laid him out with a cold cock to the nose – but considering the situation, he could only laugh. “Hey, now, I don’t think it’s right to speak that way about the dead. I dunno about Irish culture, but I know for sure mom’s people wouldn’t like you talking about her that way.”

“I’m not talking about her, you raving buffoon. I’m talking about you. You absolutely incompetent monkey. What on earth were you thinking?”

What was he thinking? He’d had a primer on the bylaws when his father had installed him as CEO of this venture, but after the train accident in the spring, Jennifer had sat him down and gone over them with him in depth, and he realized how stupid everything was. How so little was dictated by fate, and how if he wanted to have any say, he would have to seize control of what little he had. There was no evidence to support his deepest of thoughts, of course, the suspicions and conspiracies he’d concocted in the middle of the night when only his bottle of cheap tequila was there to keep him company.

But he’d had a gut feeling like this before.

And this time, he would not allow someone he loved to die for it.

“What can I say dad?” he finally said, spreading his hands wide into a shrug, his grin turning sharp. “I never was good with your money.”

#culture shock #ch: justin #ch: jennifer #i've said it before and i'll say it over and over until i am hoarse:#i love justin's backstory #i could write an entire story just for him #there are some Hints that i am dropping here #that we will go further into in arc three #but i just wanted to get this out and posted

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endlessartificer · 7 years

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Things nurturing an endogenic system has given back to me

My life has gotten really crazy over the past year or so. I went on a medication that’s been an absolute miracle and brought me out of a years-long depression. I’m dating my best friend and the most beautiful girl in the world, and my very first piece of published writing is going to be for one of my favorite franchises, Doctor Who. So basically, things have really been looking up. It feels nice, especially since it’s been years since I’ve felt real genuine joy.

One of the other major changes I’ve made in my life has been a long time coming, although I think the fact that my mental health has changed for the better has made an ideal moment for it.

I have been a quiogenic system of base two for most of, if not my whole life. Our origins are fairly murky, we were either born this way or split during our early teen years, and if the former is the case we didn’t come to realize our duality until after our childhood. I am a median system and I exist as two whole personalities that both consider themselves to be ‘Lesley’- a male facet and a female facet. Both of us share many things in common, while also having many differences. We can go from being distinct to blurring together and back again multiple times during the course of a day.

Growing up I showed a love for reading and writing from very early on; I was a literary early bird who learned to read just before my third birthday and devoured books voraciously as a child. I was considered to be reading at a college level in first grade, and typically read books both in and above my age range. This was a wonderful time for my imagination, and by the time I was 9 years old I already knew that I wanted to be a writer.

I was a child totally in love with the magic and wonder of books, who always dreamed of being lifted away into a fantasy world where everything was better. The smell of a library, the feel of old book bindings, searching the shelves for the most obscure and interesting books I could find; that tender moment of removing the book from the shelf and reading the title to myself like a magic spell.

Like a lot of kids, before I started writing characters and worlds of my own, I began by daydreaming about my favorite pre-existing characters and their worlds. I loved to think about all the characters from the books I read and loved teaming up together and going on epic adventures. Even after I did start writing my own characters, I still enjoyed these occasional fantasies.

When we were tenish, for the first time ever we acquired a third system member. His name was Roger Faulkner, and he started life as a fictive of the character Tobias from the Animorphs series. Over the years, Roger became his own very distinct character, with his only remaining trait in common with Tobias being the fact that he was a Red Tailed Hawk shapeshifter. Roger was an outlet for our aggressive tendencies during our childhood and over time became a trauma holder.

Not too long after that we started becoming active on the internet, moving away from our childhood crossover fantasies in favor of expanding our original work. After posting our first story as a child and being bullied for it, we were quickly sucked into the writing School of Hard Knocks that was the internet for most of the 2000s. This is the battleground where we learned most of what we know about being a writer; however, it is also the time when many unfortunate views regarding ‘cringe culture’ and what was considered appropriate & mature writing were beaten into our head.

Though we wouldn’t realize it until years later, this culture slowly robbed us of something priceless; the pure and innocent joy of a child enamored with writing and fictional worlds. We became a good writer, however, we also became a hard writer, loosing sight of much of what drew us to it in the first place when we were still a tot. We were incredibly critical of ourselves, and the us at this age would have violently scorned the elaborate crossovers that used to bring us so much happiness.

Then, when we were about 14, something happened. We lost Roger. The reasons why are still confusing to us; he disappeared from our system at the very same moment we were writing a story for his universe where he runs away from home. This was a very traumatic event for us, as not only did it represent the loss of our best childhood friend, but also the death of our remaining childhood itself.

For years, we refused any chances that arose to create new system members, despite knowing we were very adept at it and had the ability to do so almost willingly. We held a deep fear of being abandoned like we’d been abandoned by Roger, in addition to having a sense of guilt for his leaving in the first place. During this time, outside circumstances in our life also resulted in us sinking into a deep depression, and finding ourselves in a very dark time in our lives.

It was also during this time however, that I met the woman who would eventually become my girlfriend- who made the pivotal decision early on in our friendship to introduce me to Doctor Who, a series I had not grown up with but would quickly become a wondrous fixture in my life and a new special interest. Perhaps it’s also appropriate that we started our friendship roleplaying the characters that had grown up around Roger in the time he was here.

After discovering the male half of ourself to be fictionkin with the Doctor, we were gradually drawn into the fictionkin community (we had kintypes prior, but had never interacted with others much) and eventually got a Tumblr in order to seek out other Whoniverse kin. It took a while, but eventually a fateful reblog led us to the Gallifrey Positive community, where we have been ever since. We’ve met many good friends in this community, and are always grateful for the kindness and understanding we’ve been shown. Additionally, we discovered ourselves to have two kintypes within the Whoniverse; our male facet also identifies as the 8th Doctor companion Fitzgerald Michael Kreiner.

Inevitably, in reaching out to the fictionkin community, we also discovered the point where it overlaps with the multiplicity and fictive communities. We were once again immersed in other people like ourselves who experience plurality, but one thing stood out: with only our two members, we were a much smaller then average system. We were treated with kindness always despite this, but seeing the systems of those around us awakened a yearning in us we had not felt since our days with Roger. At the same time as all of these things, we were also beginning to come out of our depression, and things were beginning to change for the better at last.

The final push would not be our decision however, but come down to a fateful walk-in: our kintype of Fitz developed a separate consciousness of his own, and filled the void of a Third that Roger had vacated many years ago. This distressed us at first; we felt unprepared to take on the challenge of once again caring for someone beyond ourselves. However, as the days ticked on, we began to feel something deeply unexpected in having him here: profound joy.

At the time, our headspace, which had been empty, was very simple: a dark room with a single couch, a place for Fitz to rest when he wasn’t fronting. We remember a night when he had passed out on his couch and we threw a blanket over him, overwhelmed with the feeling of happiness from the relationship we had created. It was then that we made a decision that would change everything: we would no longer be just two or even three, but we would once again create as we had as a child. We would build a new headworld in which Fitz and our other future headmates could have a comfortable and happy life.

And reader, they came.

Sam Jones, a fictive of another 8th Doctor companion, who would go on to become Fitz’s partner. Asmodeus, an internal caretaker based on an old abandoned world building project of ours. Alan, from the ARG Alantutorial, whose story pulled at our hearts strings. Ianto Jones, the Torchwood character who took up organizing and preparing our headspace for future population swells. The Little Sisters, who eventually became his daughters. Our most recent addition is Richard Rich, a strange man with the name of a comic book character and the appearance of a Vulcan.

We’ve also taken on two day trippers; fictives of Charley Pollard and Jack Harkness, and are temporarily housing a fictive of River Song.

The little house on the hill in a green place we originally created around Fitz’s napping couch as the center of our headspace continues to grow. We continue to discover new areas in our headspace, the horizon expanding as the days go by. But most importantly, we are no longer lonely. Because we once again experience both the incredible joy of having a headmate family as well as the feeling of being a child so open and ready to imagine great adventures with their favorite characters. For we will always be a writer, and we must view the narrative of our headspace and new friends as just that; a narrative- there will be challenges, but they exist to be overcome, to learn from, and to grow.

A person is a person, no matter how small. The little things, they are not little. This is what it means to create and to truly be alive.

We are looking forward to whatever the future brings.

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the-woodland-realm · 7 years

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Thranduil’s Queen Headcanons

Okay everyone, sit tight, because I’m going to unleash a year’s worth of headcanons.

General Headcanon about Elves

Since Tolkien did say that Middle Earth was our Earth in the distant past, the geographies should roughly line up. the twilit mere of Cuivienen would roughly be situated around the Caspian Sea area in Central Asia. Thus, I’d imagine that the earliest elves as well as the Avari who refused to depart from Cuivienen to have more Asian features, with slanted eyes and darker hair.

Following the same logic, the Silvan elves who settled east of the Misty Mountains, and that area would roughly correspond to Central Europe, which is dominated by, you guessed it, temperate forests. The Sindar elves who settled in Beleriand would occupy Western Europe.

The argument becomes a little more tenuous for the Vanyar and Noldor, most of whom (or in the case of the Vanyar, all) sailed to the West, which, pre-eleventh century, was considered the Great Unknown.

Though blonde hair is not particularly prevalent in Central Asia, it does occur, and I’d like to think that the Vanyar were a group of elves who had such genetic predispositions.

As for the strain of silver hair that runs in Telerin royal houses, that might just be due to a genetic lack of pigmentation.

Regarding Thranduil’s golden hair, he might have had an ancestor who was a Vanya (we can assume that elves married outside of their clans with the case of Indis and Finwe, a Vanyarin lady who married the High King of the Noldor).

If only I put this much effort into my actual research.

Okay, so this brings us to the main topic of this post: Thranduil’s queen.

Since Thranduil in the Third Age relocates his kingdom and builds an underground cave complex/palace not unlike Menegroth, it’s safe to say that he was alive and lived (not just born) in the First Age. This makes sense because his father, Oropher, is described to have come from Doriath.

Thranduil’s queen is Tatharel, a Sindarin noble and a daughter of Doriath. She was born in F.A. 472.

Her father, born on the Great Journey and to whom Cuivienen was only a backwards glance. Her father, a particularly skilled marksman, by electing to wait for Thingol and thus be sundered from his own parents (who joined the host of Olwe), gained Thingol’s favor and was name High Councilor along with Saeros before the latter’s death.

Her mother was of the house of Elmo, the same line as that of Celeborn. Tatharel's maternal grandfather, Galathil, was killed in the First Battle of Beleriand, and her grandmother faded from grief. Her mother was taken under the tutelage of Celeborn, Galathil's brother. Tatharel's mother is therefore the sister to Nimloth, Second Queen of Doriath, and Tatharel herself is first cousin to Elwing, mother of Elrond.

With such a lineage and her father's position in court, Tatharel is well-versed in diplomacy and is taught to bear herself with dignity and pride befitting of her position. She values logic and intuition, as well as a quid pro quo method of handling affairs.

Oropher was born in the Year of the Trees and occupied a minor position in court. His wife and son lived in East Doriath. In F.A. 495, when times grow dark, Oropher moves his household to Menegroth, and that's when Thranduil and Tatharel met.

In F.A. 495, Oropher moves his household to Menegroth. Thranduil and Tatharel meet for the first time, and Thranduil mistakes Tatharel for Luthien.

Tatharel’s initial impression of Thranduil is that he’s a country bumpkin, but comes to appreciate his quirks and finds them refreshing from the splendor and excesses of court. Similarly, Tatharel doesn’t fit Thranduil’s idea of a court lady and finds her to be intriguing.

They spend more time together and become friends, though solidly denying any rumors of being lovers.

In F.A. 502, Thingol is slain due to the quarrel with the dwarves of Nogrod over the Silmaril. The court is severely disrupted, and Tatharel’s father maintains control until Dior and his family arrive the next year.

Since Tatharel’s aunt is the queen of Doriath, she gains considerable respect and jealousy

Thranduil and Tatharel survive the sackings of Doriath, first by the dwarves of Nogrod and then by the Feanorians, and flee to the Havens of Sirion. There, they basically wait out the rest of the war.

Tatharel, regardless of her later titles, has always considered herself to be foremost Doriathrim. The destruction of her home and the sinking of Beleriand contributes to her eventual melancholy and her bitter regret.

At the end of the First Age, her parents and Thranduil's mother decide to sail West. However, Tatharel, wishing to see more of Arda, decides to remain and with the other Sindarin survivors, join Celeborn's fiefdom in Harlindon. Celeborn (perhaps because she is kin) offers her a seat on his council, of which Oropher is also a member. Unsurprisingly, since Harlindon is technically under the rule Gil-galad, the Noldorin councilors have more political clout. Oropher, disliking this power imbalance, decides to migrate east to Rhovanion. Tatharel follows because she has started a tentative relationship ("friends") with Thranduil.

As the Second Age passed, Oropher continuously moved the capital north, from Amon Lanc to north of the Gladden Fields then to Emyn Duir. She saw this as the beginning of isolationism, but held her tongue. However, the memory of Doriath, the Fenced Land, lingered her mind, for it was that same isolationism and hostility that led to its ruin.

Tatharel and Thranduil further pursue their relationship, and towards the end of the Second Age, he was hinting at a marriage proposal. When Oropher decides to join Gil-galad in the Last Alliance, Thranduil proposes, but she hesitates. Only when the Woodland army was preparing to depart did she run in front of Thranduil, promising that when he returns, she would marry him.

When Thranduil came back from the war, he was haunted by his father's death and the horrors of war. He delayed the issue for two hundred years before marrying Tatharel who was crowned the Queen of the Woodland Realm.

After the War of the Last Alliance, the Silvan elves suffered a significant decrease in their population, particularly able-bodied males, who were the usual demographic to partake in politics. The Sindar, with their experience of warfare and positions as officers, experienced little decline. The ratio of Sindar to Silvans increased, and that's what mostly triggered the Sindar to actively demand more rights.

So up until now, the Silvans and Sindar have coexisted peacefully, for it was the Silvans who gave land and lordship to the Sindar, a social contract of sorts. The Sindarin rightists followed Oropher east because they were eager for power. These elves were by no means a majority, but they were a considerable plurality and were mid-tier at Thingol's court. In Harlindon, despite the population mostly being Sindar, they were often overlooked in favor of the Noldorin lords, and it was only powerful Sindarin nobles like Celeborn and to a lesser degree Tatharel, one of the few who can claim kinship to Thingol, have their voices heard. But in a new realm, these rightists would see an increase in their power without the presence of the Noldor. It was a fresh start. Obviously, when they first entreated the Silvans, they couldn't assert themselves too highly because the Silvans, seeing the inequality, would refuse the Sindar to settle on their lands. They had to settle for relative equality at first, but that seed of ambition always remained.

Now, the Sindarin rightists want more privileges and sought to do so by making the Silvans second-class citizens. Sindarins would receive the upper government and military positions, would be taxed less (regressive income tax brackets, oh my), etc. Tatharel opposed such a policy, as did Thranduil, for such a course of actions would undermine his father's original intentions. This earned Tatharel some enemies.

Thranduil, like Tatharel, is torn about the growing gap between his people. On one hand, he understands his father's intention in sincerely adopting the Silvan culture (c.f. rightists who take advantage of Oropher's actions to elevate themselves). On the other hand, he sees the reasoning behind having more Sindar in positions of power because they were more experienced with warfare and statecraft as well as they supported his father in Doriath and Harlindon.

Rather than taking action, Thranduil becomes passive, first granting more Sindarin military officers to protect the realm. Then he offers more council seats to the Sindar who had such experience previously. It's not something he does intentionally; he acts with the welfare of the kingdom in mind, but his actions quickly become a slippery slope which benefits the rightists.

Although Tatharel is a bit more forgiving towards the Noldor since some of them are kin by marriage (e.g. cousin-in-law Earendil, grandaunt Galadriel), Thranduil's not particularly fond of the Noldor. He, like many Sindar, believe that the wars that ended the First and Second Ages were caused by the meddling of the Noldor. In fact, due to the massive losses of the Woodland army in the War of the Last Alliance, he believes that he was shorted by Gil-galad. He doesn't like Galadriel very much, even though she's technically related to him through marriage. This anti-Noldorin worldview and disdain for their meddling causes Thranduil to ban correspondence to the west where the Noldor dwelled.

Thranduil isn't as right as the rightists but he's much more right than Tatharel who's centrist.

The politics at Thranduil's court is really a holdover from Doriath. Ironically, Tatharel held a higher position than Thranduil and the rightists in Doriath, and she knows them better than Thranduil, who lived in Doriath for a very brief time. She understands them, their motives and potential underhandedness, and is not obligated by a bond of gratitude like Thranduil is.

Regarding Tatharel's stance on the cultural-political divide, she isn't against the Silvans. In fact, she's divided on whom to support, but she knows that Thranduil's passiveness and the slippery slope that's happening is wrong. She doesn't actively support the Silvans because to her, they with their wild ways contradict everything she's been taught in Doriath. Yet she doesn't believe that they should be subjugated in order for an elite Sindarin class to emerge.

A potential cause for her disfavor of the Silvans would be that they pushed forward a Silvan as a candidate for queen during the two centuries between Thranduil's return from the war and his marriage to Tatharel. The Silvans also recognized that the Sindar would begin to attempt to grapple for more power and wanted a Silvan queen as a reassurance of their continued prestige, even though it was widely known before the war that Thranduil and Tatharel were quite close.

In the end, Thranduil married Tatharel because she understood him, braved the fires of the Second Kinslaying with him, and followed him east though her immediate family departed for Valinor. It was this loyalty and intimacy that compelled Thranduil to choose Tatharel. The Silvans saw this rejection of their plea, and both peoples contributed to the growing divide.

Despite Tatharel's personal aversion for the Silvans, she knew rationally that this rift was dangerous and could prove to be disastrous if it were to be manipulated by outside forces.

Around T.A. 1000, Thranduil and Tatharel's marriage became strained. She was tired of seeing Thranduil granting more and more privileges to the Sindar as if he was repaying them for an old debt.

When she was heavily pregnant with Legolas, she and Thranduil had a particularly nasty spat, in which Thranduil, scarred from war and in a moment of fury, struck Tatharel. She, in retaliation, told him that his court was filled with a nest of vipers and that he should have married his Silvan queen (basically reneging their marriage). That marked the beginning of the end of their relationship. Both regretted their words and actions later, but the deed was done.

Thranduil’s retreat to his underground palace, built in the memory of Menegroth for his queen causes Tatharel to fully see an echo of Doriath, and when Thranduil forbids all correspondence to the west, she can no remain silent. She drafts a letter to her kinsman Celeborn expressing her concern regarding Thranduil's isolationism, the divide between the people, and how Celeborn manages a similar situation in Lothlorien. The cultural divide, her troubled marriage, and the growing darkness she included in her letter to Celeborn. She lamented the glory days in Doriath, how Thranduil was so blinded in his rule, and how she felt so suffocated in the Woodland Realm. She wondered if she would have been better off if she sailed after the War of Wrath, among other grievances and regrets. Her letter is intercepted, and she is charged by the council for treason as well as insubordination, for which the punishment is death. However, considering that she has been a wise and just ruler, the council agrees to lessen her sentence to exile. She agrees, much to Thranduil's dismay, and goes into self-exile, leaving the king with an infant son.

This letter wasn't treasonous in its intent, which was to seek advice from Celeborn, but the rightists twisted it to make it seem like an act of treason. Also, the fact that she directly rebuffed Thranduil's edict and sent a letter west didn't help.

To escape and forget her plight, Tatharel travels east, past Rhun and the great deserts to the magnificent cities of the Far East. It’s only after two thousand years did she return to Middle Earth near the end of the War of the Ring. She lives with her kinsman Celeborn for a short while. When Celeborn meets Thranduil to redraw the boundaries between their realms, she accompanies Celeborn and meets Thranduil.

#lord of the rings #thranduil #headcanon #legolas #lotr #hobbit #mine

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jflashandclash · 7 years

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Attrition of Peace

Five: Reyna

Do You Wanna Go Punch Stuff… or Something? Part II

Upon realizing they were at the praetor’s house, Axel did something Reyna didn’t expect: he blushed.

Reyna kept the décor in her house simple. She was rarely in it, so she didn’t feel the need for anything elaborate. Most of the decoration looked more like a barrack’s. Her favorite weapons covered one wall, a collection of blades from all over the world. There were rewards and homemade trophies scattered on mantels, ones that the Second Cohort had stubbornly shoved at her throughout her career.

A line of zombie bunny ninjas decorated her coffee table, just beyond the entrance. Piper had been sending her those over the last few months, saying they seemed right to liven Reyna’s room.

Above her cot’s mantel, on the far wall, was a flag. It depicted a skeleton with a spear in one hand and a glass in the other. The spear was about to pierce a heart floating up in the lower right corner of the flag.

“Blackbeard’s flag,” Axel whispered upon stepping inside. Though his voice was even, his normally tan cheeks had gone bright red. Like before, his eyes darted to account for all the weapons in the room and Reyna couldn’t shake the feeling he’d seen the praetor’s house before.

“You know your pirate flags,” Reyna said. Aurum and Argentum padded into her house. Within the comfort of their home, Argentum padded right up to Axel and started sniffing him. Aurum seemed as curious, but the golden greyhound kept further back.

Reyna was surprised; their suspicion of strangers usually overweighed any curiosity.

“I know this flag,” Axel said. He glanced down at Argentum and stooped to a crouch beside the dog.

“I wouldn’t—” she started.

Axel offered the dog one of his hands to sniff, staring directly into its ruby eyes. She’d seen recruits get mauled for less, but Argentum averted his gaze. Axel rubbed him behind the ears. “I used to wrestle with a jaguar named Juana,” Axel said, smiling sadly. “But I’ll bet you two could give me a run for my obsidian, couldn’t you?”

Aurum growled.

Axel looked up at her. Now that they were closer, she could make out the designs of his facial scars. They were impossible not to notice, systematically decorating his cheeks, temples, and jaw with asymmetrical swirls, dots, and lines. There were different from the haphazard battle scars scattered over his body, though most of those were visible due to the poor condition of his dress shirt.

When he’d knelt down, she could see the bumps of lash marks along his back. Before they left the principia, a healer had patched the bullet wound on his shoulder, though he’d rejected any unicorn draught to help the healing process.

His body markings were a story to themselves.

“This is as private as it is going to get,” she said stiffly. She stepped over to the couch and sat down, withdrawing her dagger to twirl the blade on her coffee table. She had to replace the table every six months when she was in here more often. “Why did your brother think I was going to kill you?” she asked.

Axel sighed and stood. He gestured to a seat across from her. “May I?”

Reyna was so used to her campers standing without question, she was mildly surprised, but Axel had always talked to her with the confidence of an equal and the respect of a warrior. She nodded.

Once he was seated, Axel frowned. “Ajax is… wary of something else happening to our family. From what was said and what I remember, I’m pretty sure Euna killed Santiago and Kouta, our biological father and eldest brother. Ajax had hope that they could change to be better people.

“And, when the gods sent us here, our… we—um…” He sighed again. “We live out of our van. We had a lot of memories tucked away in secret compartments, old weapons, pictures, circus costumes, Hunnie and Baller…”

Reyna raised an eyebrow.

Axel chuckled. “Ajax’s two pet weasels. They were gifts from Hecate. But… I don’t know where our van is, so that’s all lost too. Matthias—our mechanic—programmed it to go wherever we considered home in the event we got separated… but the Mayan temple wasn’t home.” Axel touched a section of the giant scar that stretched from his pant line up his torso. His eyes looked distant. “Our old camp was obliterated and I doubt the van will show up in Belize with Chiich…[1] Ajax just doesn’t want to lose anything else.”

“I’m sorry about your brother and father,” Reyna said softly.

Axel’s feeling of helplessness and guilt fluttered back into Reyna’s senses. She wanted to tell him that he could talk to her about Joey, that she understood how it felt to carry the weight of dead soldiers. But, she had to remind herself that Axel was an enemy to New Rome until proven otherwise, and the Little Tiber definitely wasn’t on his side. “Why do you think the gods…” She noticed he used the plural whereas his little brother had only referred to Phobetor. “sent you to New Rome?”

Axel’s dark gaze sharpened. “I wanted to kill my father. I suspect these particular gods know that Rome isn’t friendly towards patricide.”

Reyna almost dropped her dagger. He said it so casually and candidly, she wanted to snarl at him to keep his voice down. She thought about the ghosts in San Juan and tried not to tremble.

“Unlike Rome,” Axel continued during her stunned silence. “I recognize that blood ties shouldn’t prohibit you from destroying something warped and horrible. If anything, those blood ties put the responsibility more solidly on the closest kin…” He clenched his jaw. “It shouldn’t have fallen to Euna and Joey…”

Reyna swallowed. She didn’t realize she’d embedded her dagger an inch into the wood. Alarm threatened to drown out all the questions she had for Axel. Memories of San Juan kept flickering in and out: the smell of the warm, ocean breeze, the taste of piragua, and the sound of Hylla’s shaking voice when her father lost his temper and came after them.

No one knew about that except Nico Di Angelo, Hylla, and Gleeson Hedge. Axel couldn’t.

Reyna suddenly wished that she’d kept Frank or someone nearby to continue this interrogation.

Forcing her voice not to tremble, she whispered, “That shouldn’t have been enough to make the Little Tiber try to kill you.”

Axel shifted his eyes back to hers. For a moment, she felt like he knew everything about her father. Instead, he lifted a hand up to brace against his chin. “You know exactly why the Little Tiber was trying to kill me,” he said.

Reyna had her suspicions. When she’d met him outside Camp Half-Blood, he’d said he was recruited into an army that wasn’t Camp Half-Blood or Camp Jupiter and ascended to a position of leadership, likely a low ranking Lieutenant or Captain. That army was obliterated about a year or two ago. He had Mist manipulation skills, akin to the children of Hecate. His little brother called upon the Titans for prayers and curses. He knew more about New Rome than he should.

Some part of her knew he was a soldier from Kronos’s army.

Neither of them wanted to put it to words, since she’d have to put him on trial. Though, both of them should already be put on trial for attempted and successful patricide.

“Take off your Mist mask,” she commanded.

Axel puffed up his cheeks and popped them. He opened his mouth, shut it, and ran the hand on his chin up his face and through his hair.

As his fingers brushed past his mouth, she could see white fangs, the length of her pinky. When his palm passed over his eyes, the Mist mask cracked. His eyes glistened a brilliant gold, the white disappearing to huge irises. His ears vanished, replaced by a layer of smooth, oddly patterned black hair.

Once his hand ran over the top of his head, a different set of ears appeared: triangular and fur-tufted. They remained flat back on his head when he dropped his hand. She recognized that expression from Aurum and Argentum: ashamed. Although Axel could masterfully control the slight frown on his lips, those ears gave away everything he was feeling.

His fingers now had short white claws. Obsidian blades were latched onto his forearms, previously hidden by the Mist. Upon further examination, she realized his calves had an animalistic arch.

He looked even more exhausted now, like dropping the magic mask was more difficult than keeping it up. She could tell he was waiting to see if she’d kick him out of her room or call animal control. This guy clearly hadn’t seen enough of Frank.

Reyna wasn’t sure what to say. This definitely wasn’t what she had expected. She was surprised to find, despite the animalistic features, he still looked ruggedly handsome. Just a little like something that belonged on a monster hunting show.

Axel released a shaky laugh. “Chiich said jaguar babies were a symbol of good luck. The village elders all thought it was a sign of favor from the old rain gods when Nilley gave birth to me. Jaguars are prevalent in Mesoamerican culture and…” He glanced at his hands. “I haven’t had anyone who can give me direct answers. Some of the elders said it was a gift from the Gods of the Underworld. Others thought it was a rebirth of Xbalanque.”

He shrugged. “You once asked me if I was a demigod or a legacy. I’m neither, but I never had answers and… after what Hecate did to me, I was even less sure. I am descendent from the Mopan line of kings, but none of my siblings are like me. Ajax is a Greek demigod. My little sister is an Egyptian magician, my little brother is a Japanese monk, and Kouta was a North American shifter.”

Reyna must have ripped her dagger out and set it down when he took off his mask. Her hand felt empty. Again, the fact that there were other mythological creatures running around didn’t bother her, but…

“How many people know about this?” she asked.

Axel shook his head. “Other than my family? I think it’s just Kally, a few of my old recruits that are still alive, and several gods. I’m not sure who else was conscious last time I lost control of my Mist.”

Reyna felt herself laugh. She didn’t intend to. All this time, she had suspected Axel might be a reincarnation of Luke, or a vengeful Krios, or Kronos. Not some Mesoamerican cat-guy.

“No wonder Frank said you smelled weird,” she said finally.

He cracked a smile through his fangs. “I get that a lot. I’ve been told I drive nature spirits crazy. I’m glad it didn’t startle you, though you don’t strike me as the type to startle easy.”

Reyna quieted her laughter to a serious tone. “You’re not scary,” she informed him.

“I would hope not, for a praetor of Rome. Else your troops would be in a bit of a bind when they confront real monsters,” he said. He relaxed noticeably. Slowly, his ears perked up.

Reyna wondered how afraid he’d been of showing her his real features. Although she’d been hoping that would answer a lot of her questions, it only clustered a set of others.

Axel leaned his chin on his hand again, examining her face. “You can touch my ears if you want.”

Reyna raised an eyebrow at him. “Excuse me?”

He shrugged. “You’re staring at them.”

She had been staring, but it was hard not to. She was used to the homeless fawns that wandered around Camp Jupiter and other hybrids. She wasn’t used to seeing someone she thought was human sprout animalistic features. Well—Frank didn’t count. He fully turned into the animals.

Axel stood up. Now that his Mist mask was gone, she could see that the curve to his legs made him several inches taller. He must have been well over six feet. Aurum and Argentum watched him carefully as he stepped around the coffee table to kneel beside her and expose his ears: an act of submission and something that left a warrior completely vulnerable.

This was not how Reyna had expected this interrogation to go. She thought about his attempted patricide, about his previous loyalty to Kronos, and the way the Little Tiber tried to drown him.

When Aphrodite’s words drifted through her memory, Reyna felt her chest get heavy. “No demigod will heal your heart.”

No. Someone from Kronos’s army wasn’t someone she should get close to. And the warning on that note, something you know you desperately desire and don’t know that you already hate. What could that mean? She’d handled Jason’s and Percy’s rejections. They’d never really shown an interest. But Axel… he wasn’t a praetor of Rome. He wouldn’t make a logical or useful ally. He was just someone who had made her laugh with a circus performance and had helped her beat up the Ares Cabin last time she went to Camp Half-Blood.

Despite her wariness and reservations, Reyna reached out. She needed to know. The thought of not trying made her chest ache.

Axel’s ears twitched violently when her hand got near. He clenched his jaw. “That tickles,” he muttered as she felt the soft fur that intermixed with his coarse human hair. His ears stopped twitching when she settled her hand. Axel leaned into her touch.

“Do you have malicious intentions for New Rome?” she asked.

Axel shook his head under her hand. “No… not anymore. I just want Ajax and the others to be safe.”

Not anymore…

“If you pose any threat or slip up once, I’ll kill you,” she said.

Axel laughed softly. “I would expect no less. But you’d have to be able to kill me first.” He looked up at her. Although he still looked exhausted and sad, his eyes held the smallest gleam of playfulness. As he raised his chin, her hand fell from between his ears to touch the scars on his face.

You’re a praetor of New Rome, she reminded herself, and withdrew her hand.

Reyna stood and scowled at him.

“We have some of the best grief and PTSD counselors available here,” she said, making her voice as chilly as she could. “While we don’t normally serve those exterior to the legion, I can make an exception while you’re here, especially for Euna. We’ll make sure everyone is properly cared since you are guests, and we’ll get you on your way to Chiron as soon as possible. However—” She lifted her dagger and slipped it into its sheath with a snap. “—you will be carefully watched, especially you and your brother. If you step out of line, the senate will try and punish you accordingly.”

Axel sighed and his ears drooped back against his hairline. She was annoyed how much the sight upset her. It was like when Aurum or Argentum thought they’d done something wrong when she accidentally bumped into them.

He stood up beside her, rising to his full height and pulling his shoulders back as best he could. He was well over six feet tall without the Mist making him look shorter. For a moment, she thought he might collapse, but he managed to maintain his balance. Once up, he muttered a few words in Mayan, rubbing his face.

With each motion, the fangs, gold eyes, claws, and ears disappeared, replaced by dark eyes, human ears and normal teeth. Now that she knew what he actually looked like, the Mist mask blurred between his actual features and the illusion.

Once done, he stood at attention. “Thank you, Praetor. I hope to one day be able to pay you back for your kindness.”

They paused for what would have been a respectful amount of time for two leaders to recognize one another. Then Axel puffed up his cheeks and popped them. “Last time we met, we made a wager for a rematch,” he said. “I know the conditions aren’t ideal, but do you want to find out which one of us owes the other hot chocolate?”

“Are you going to fight one handed?” she asked, examining his shoulder.

“If it comes to it.”

Reyna debated internally for a moment. “Very well,” she said. “I train with some of the more impressive soldiers at five in the morning tomorrow. I don’t think anyone would complain if there was some new meat.”

“I’ll do my best not to disappoint.” He smiled and, for a brief flicker of broken Mist, she could see his ears perk up.

Reyna was more exhausted than pleased about how giddy the movement made her. She didn’t want Axel to make her giddy. This Mayan had done nothing to earn her trust, or the trust of New Rome. Until she found out what was actually happening between him, Phobetor, these other gods, and his friends, she couldn’t let herself do this.

However, judging by how much more he opened up when they were alone, maybe a date over some hot chocolate would be the fastest way to more answers.

[1] Yucatec Mayan for Grandmother. I’m sorry guys. There are a lot of dialects of Mayan, and until I can get back to Belize, you’re going to get a nasty bastardization of all of them for the Pax brothers. I expect all you Mayan speakers out there to yell at me for this :P

Thank you so much for reading! :D I hope you enjoyed! It’s weird having romance in this book... well, that isn’t comical and Pax-screwing-up-worthy. Or is it going to be...?

Also, @traitorthot, delivered as promised XD Just half a year later than we discussed!

#The Attrition of Peace #Traitors of Olympus #Fanfiction #PJO #HOO #Axel #Reyna #Raxel--augh no that doens't work #Axyna?#Axeriez?#I give up -.-

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seekfirstme · 5 years

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Meditation: What is the best protection which brings lasting security to our lives? Scripture tells us that true peace and security come to those who trust in God and obey his word. "Obey my voice and walk in all the way that I command you, that it may be well with you" (Jeremiah 7:23). The struggle between choosing to do good or evil, yielding to my will or God's will, God's way or my way, cannot be won by human strength or will-power alone. Our enemy, the devil, conspires with the "world" (whatever is opposed to God and his truth and righteousness) and our "flesh" (whatever inclines us to yield to hurtful desires and wrongdoing), to draw us away from the peace, joy, and security which God provides for those who put their trust in him.

Peter the Apostles tells us, Our adversary, the devil prowls the earth seeking the ruin of souls (1 Peter 5:8-9). The devil is opposed to God and he seeks to draw us away from God's plan and will for our lives. God offers us grace (his merciful help and strength) and protection (from Satan's lies and deception) if we are willing to obey his word and resist the devil's lies and temptations. Because you have made the Lord your refuge, the Most High your habitation, no evil shall befall you, no scourge come near your tent. For he will give his angels charge of you to guard you in all your ways (Psalm 91:9-11). The Lord offers us the peace and security of his kingdom which lasts forever and which no other power can overcome.

God's kingdom brings healing and freedom from the destructive forces of sin and Satan

Jesus' numerous exorcisms brought freedom to many who were troubled and oppressed by the work of evil spirits. Jesus himself encountered personal opposition and battled with Satan when he was put to the test in the wilderness just before his public ministry (Luke 4:1-13). He overcame the evil one through his obedience to the will of his Father. Some of the Jewish leaders reacted vehemently to Jesus' healings and exorcisms and they opposed him with malicious slander. How could he get the power and authority to release individuals from Satan's power? They assumed that he had to be in league with Satan. They attributed his power to Satan rather than to God.

Jesus answers their charge with two arguments. There were many exorcists among the Jews in Jesus' time. So Jesus retorted by saying that they also incriminate their own kin who cast out demons. If they condemn Jesus they also condemn themselves. In his second argument he asserts that no kingdom divided against itself can survive for long? We have witnessed enough civil wars in our own time to prove the destructive force at work here for the annihilation of whole peoples and their land. If Satan lends his power against his own forces then he is finished. How can a strong person be defeated except by someone who is stronger? Jesus asserted his power and authority to cast out demons as a clear demonstration of the reign of God.

Jesus' reference to the finger of God points back to Moses' confrontation with Pharoah and his magicians who represented Satan and the kingdom of darkness (see Exodus 8:19). Jesus claims to be carrying on the tradition of Moses whose miracles freed the Israelites from bondage by the finger of God. God's power is clearly at work in the exorcisms which Jesus performed and they give evidence that God's kingdom has come.

Is Jesus the Master of your life?

Jesus makes it clear that there are no neutral parties. We are either for Jesus or against him, for the kingdom of God or against it. There are two kingdoms in opposition to one another - the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness under the rule of Satan. If we disobey Gods word, we open to door to the power of sin and Satan in our lives. If you want to live in freedom from sin and Satan, then your "house" - your life and possessions (all that you rely upon for livelihood, peace, and security) - must be occupied by Jesus where he is enthroned as Lord and Savior. Is the Lord Jesus the Master of your home, heart, mind, and will?

"O Lord, our God, grant us, we beseech you, patience in troubles, humility in comforts, constancy in temptations, and victory over all our spiritual foes. Grant us sorrow for our sins, thankfulness for your benefits, fear of your judgment, love of your mercies, and mindfulness of your presence; now and for ever." (Prayer by John Cosin)

I'M ANGRY, GOD

"Oh, that today you would hear His voice..." Psalm 95:7

In today's first reading, God shares a point of view with many people who are disgruntled with religion. God is dissatisfied with the behavior of His people. He is disturbed by what He sees when He looks at those who were supposed to be faithful to His call. In fact, He is angry with His people, and His anger bursts forth through the prophet Jeremiah: "Faithfulness has disappeared; the word itself is banished from their speech" (Jer 7:28). To this point, numerous people would agree completely with God: "Yes, the Church is flawed, God's people are unfaithful, and I'm tired of it. I'm angry about it, to the point where I can't hold it in. You go, God!" Church historians throughout the centuries have often wryly observed that the sinfulness of leaders within the Church proves that God is the Head of the Church, for otherwise there is no way she could have survived two-thousand years without collapse.

However, in today's psalm response, the Lord changes the focus from the plural to the singular. The Divine God now looks at "your" heart instead of "their" heart. He calls you and me to look at the plank in our own eye first, and remove that through repentance. Only then can we help others remove the speck from their eye (Mt 7:4-5). God implores us: "Oh, that today you would hear [My] voice, harden not your hearts" (Ps 95:7-8). Let us all "be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for a man's anger does not fulfill God's justice" (Jas 1:19-20). Instead, trust in the Lord and His power to renew His people.

Prayer: Father, replace any anger in my heart with a deep thirst for hearing Your Word. Promise: "If it is by the finger of God that I cast out devils, then the reign of God is upon you." —Lk 11:20 Praise: Bill was downhearted over the results of an election. His brother prayed with him over the phone and witnessed to him about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Bill then began to pray in tongues for the first time right there on the telephone. (This teaching was submitted by a member of our editorial team.)

Rescript: In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") for One Bread, One Body covering the period from February 1, 2019 through March 31, 2019.

Most Reverend Joseph R. Binzer, Auxiliary Bishop, Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, October 24, 2018.

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

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