#he shouldve done that earlier but couldnt and now its too late

[fiftyshadesgrl]

He saved me/ part 9

Summary: reader is in a abusive relationdhip. When things take a turn for the worst she finds help in the winchesters.

Warning: this story will have smut, language, violence, abuse and torture. If youre triggered by any of this i suggest not reading.

6 months later....

Me and bobby were sitting at the table eating the homemade lasanga and garlic bread i had made when his phone started to ring. He leaned over and with one hand snatched the phone from its cradle never faltering with his other hand that had a fork full of lasanga.

"Yeah?" Bobby said evenly. "Alright what time will you be in?" Bobby glanced my direction, i smiled warmly at him and he just stared. "Alright see you in a few."

He sighed when he hung up, "that was sam." I perked up at the mention of his name. I hadnt seen him in so long and to be honest i missed him. "Theyre going to stop by, need some info on a hunt."

I smiled, "thats great! I miss that boy." Then it hit me. "Wait, you said they. That means.."

He nodded, "yeah deans gonna be here too. Sam wanted to give you a heads up before they get here. Ya know, just in case you wanna bolt."

I thought about it long and hard, would seeing dean bring up all those old feelings ive been burying since i left? Would he even be happy to see me? Would he be mad? Would he even acknowledge i was here?

I sighed and gave him a small smile that im sure didnt reach my eyes. "Ill be alright bobby, ive got dinner dishes to do and plenty to keep me occupied. If i know dean hes gonna want food so ill fix them a plate when they get here then you wont even know im here."

We finished our dinner and when i stood to take our plates i asked, "what time will they be here?"

"Id say about another hour."

I nodded and made my way to the kitchen to get started on the dishes and to clean up.

An hour and a half later there was a knock on the door. I could hear from the kitchen.

"Hiya bobby." Sam said.

"Good to see ya boys." Bobby said sounding cheerful.

"Doing some spring cleaning bobby?" That was the voice that has haunted me for the past 6 months. I could almost smell him from where i stood. That comforting feeling blanketed me just by hearing his voice. I sighed to myself knowing he didnt know i was here.

I took the lasanga and plated a huge piece for sam and dean, along with placing the garlic bread in the basket from earlier. I took a deep breath and took my first steps out towards the boys.

I walked up behind them where they sat at the table, i set down the plates in front of them. Both men jerked in response then our eyes met.

"(Y/N)!" Sam jumped up from his spot at the table and engulfed me in a huge hug.

"Hey sammy, its good to see you." I was geniunely happy to see him.

He pulled back and inspected me, "you look great. How are you doing?"

"Better than i was last time you saw me." I said matter of factly and im sure dean knew what incident i was talking about.

"What the hell?" Dean said still in shock i think.

"Hey dean." I said in a flat tone. His brow furrowed at that.

"How long have you been here?" He asked.

"6 months." I said over my shoulder making my way to get their drinks. When i turned around from the fridge dean was standing there behind me.

"You have been here this whole time and never contacted me? Ive been going crazy not knowing where you were." Dean sounded mad, the nerve.

I straightend my spine to stand as tall as i could, "you made it pretty clear that night what you wanted."

"Damn it (Y/N), thats not fair."

I chuckled, "lifes not fair dean, you of all people should know that. Now go back and eat. I cant stand for food to be wasted."

"We are not done here." He said through gritted teeth.

I pushed past him but turned around right before i walked out. "Yeah dean, we are." With that i placed the drinks on the table and walked upstairs.

I changed into my running clothes the same ones i wore the night me and dean had sex. He thinks he has a hold on me well im going to remind him just what he walked out on.

I hopped down the stairs and put my hair up in a high ponytail. I hooked my ipod to my armband and slipped my tennis shoes on. All eyes focused on me when i walked into the dining room.

"Im going for a run, dont stay up to late old man." I walked over to bobby and kissed his cheek.

He smiled up at me "be careful."

"Dont worry, ill be fine." I looked to sam and dean and didnt fail to notice the lust in his eyes. "If you boys are gone before i get back, its been nice seeing ya again."

Sam stood and gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. Dean didnt move didnt even look at me. I slapped him on the shoulder, "see ya deano."

With that i made my way outside. I started stretching my muscles when i got out in the warm air. I was getting ready to start my run when i heard the front door open behind me.

"(Y/N), we need to talk." Deans voice sent a chill up my spine but i tried my best to ignore it. I closed my eyes and sighed as i turned towards him.

"Have you found parker yet?"

Dean shook his head.

"Then we have nothing to talk about." I said as i started walking up the driveway. Dean was close behind me.

"Yes we do. You cant run from me forever."

I picked up my pace to a light jog, "tell ya what. If you can keep up we can talk."

I started running faster, i knew dean didnt do running. I heard him huffing then stop all together. I smiled over my shoulder at him then put my ear buds in and cranked up my music.

When i got back to bobbys an hour later the impala was still parked in the driveway. I rolled my eyes and opened the front door. I heard the guys talking in the living room then i heard my name come up.

"I dont know what to do. (Y/N) just wont talk to me." That was dean.

"Maybe she will come around. I mean you walked out on her at the worst time in her life." I recognized that as sam. He was taking up for me.

"Did she never mention anything to you? I mean she has been here for half a year." Dean asked bobby.

"She never talked to me about anything. I wasnt going to force her." Bobby said sounding aggitated.

"You mean to tell me after all this time you two living under the same roof nothing has come up about that night?"

I heard a glass slam down on the table. "You calling me a liar?"

I figured id show my face before it got more heated. "Im back, gonna grab a shower then head to bed."

Bobby nodded and i dashed up the stairs before anyone could say anything else. After my shower i walked down stairs to get a bottle of water. The guys were talking about some kind of lore and really didnt pay me no mind.

I walked back upstairs but instead of going to bed i went into the other spare room and started sorting files and cleaning up.

I almost had all the files organized and in their own seperate piles, i just had to put them in the file cabinet. A certain file caught my eye, the name sounded so familiar. Patrick windsor, i opened the file and gasped. It was parkers father.

I started reading through the file and it had all kinds of locations where he had been at and owned. Apparently patrick was a demon as well, working for lucifer himself. I was so focused on the file that i didnt hear someone approaching.

"Couldnt sleep?" Deans rough voice sounded from the doorway. I looked up and he was sipping yet another beer.

"No, i came up here to sort through all of this." I said in a flat tone, hoping he would just go away. I didnt want to discuss anything with dean right now. Instead he walked in and took a seat in the chair right across from me.

He didnt say a word, just sat there watching me. After a few minutes it started to get under my skin. "Why are you in here?" I asked a little snippy.

He smiled, "for you." I rolled my eyes and continued placing the files in different stacks. "Come on (Y/N), you cant ignore me forever."

"Its worked for six months."

He sighed heavily and stood up. Walking over to where i was sitting on the floor. I thought he might leave but instead he sat down next to me.

"I know i hurt you, but i was only looking out for your well being." He ran a hand through his hair, "ive learned that in this life we dont get love. We dont get happily ever afters. A hunter can retire and ward off whats out there. Like bobby, he lost his wife a long time ago and has never got close to anyone since. A hunters family and loved ones are never safe."

I nodded letting him talk, this is a side that i doubt many people ever saw of dean. I felt a little honored that he would open up to me, so i let him continue.

"That night when you told me you loved me it scared the hell out of me. Not because i dont want you, because you have already been through so much. You cant and shouldnt fall for me. Youre just going to get hurt or worse."

I nodded and placed the file i was holding down beside me. "I understand where youre coming from, but you cant push everyone away dean."

He shook his head, "i dont think you do. I tried the whole leave this life behind and have a family thing. She had a son, i thought of him like my own. I loved her and for a minute i was happy. Then a demon possesed her and tried to kill her right in front of me and her son. We got her to the hospital and cas healed her but i also asked him to take away all of lisa and bens memories of me. That was hard to see a woman and kid i loved look at me a different way than they had that morning. Never knowing who i was, but it was better for them, if i had never came into their lives in the first place it wouldnt have happened. So i just made things right, the way they shouldve been."

A silent tear fell from my eyes hearing dean talk about what he has went through. I now truly understood his hesitance about getting close to people. Instead of making me hate him it made me love him that much more, but i could never act upon it again. He downed the rest of his beer and sat the bottle down next to his leg.

"Dean, im sorry for everything you have went through. I have never had someone who truly loved me so i wouldnt know how that feels." I figured since he opened up to me it was only fair that i do the same. "At first i thought parker loved me. I just got so blinded by his words. I never had a family i was in the system until i was 15, then i ran away and never looked back. I was prostituting to make rent and for a little food, then i met parker. He took me in, sweet talked me, made empty promises on marrying me having children and having anything i would ever wanted. I fell for it and that has led me to where i am now."

"You can still have that life. Get married, have a family."

I shook my head, "no parker done so much damage to me that he destroyed the chance of me ever having children."

He opened his mouth to say something but i cut him off. "I never knew what love was, until i met you. Youre just so easy to fall for, but i know now that you dont feel the same way."

"(Y/N)....."

"Let me finish." He nodded and i continued. "Just because you dont love me doesnt make you less of a person. Youre a great guy and i hope one day you can prove youself wrong."

He looked down at the floor, when he looked up his eyes had tears in them. I placed a hand on his that he had on his leg. "Its okay dean, dont beat yourself up." Just as he was about to say something sam appeared in the doorway.

"I think we may have something on parker."

@an-unhealthy-obsession

#dean winchester #dean x reader #deanwinchester #supernatural #deanwinchestersmut #dean x you

[ffuuuuuuuck]

september 24, 2019

Today was such a bad day my thoughts kept pulling me in different directions- all of them bad

ended up skipping class today, thought about dropping out of school entirely like a lot

like, i know im capable of it and it’s not even hard, it’s just the looming fear of failing again like i did in my first highschool. I’m falling into the same patterns, it’s getting harder to maintain a positive mentality. it sucks because i was doing so good and then one thing sets me off and im back on my bullshit. 

somehow writing it out makes me feel a little better, makes it feel like the thoughts aren’t all just stuck in my head. 

my family helped today- my mom sang one direction with me in the car because i think she could tell I was on the verge of crying lol. That’s what she used to do with me in middle school and felt bad about the way i looked- it was cheesy and dorky but nice. she also took me to meet my baby cousin for the first time since she’d been born-5 months old and shes fat as fuck but also cute as fuck

i think i might just go back to spending time with my family again- it was easier than having to deal with friends. I love them, but i don’t feel the same with them anymore. it was different when i was into the same shit- smoking weed, doing drugs, doing nothing but walking around all the time. but now i’ve got school and work and actual responsibilities, and none of them seem to get that. Some of them even get mad because i cant spend as much time with them. I understand being upset, but it just makes me feel worse because i already feel worn thin. Plus, we dont really have anything in common anymore other than weed. Even that i’ve been trying to quit, but that’s all they ever wanna do and my lungs are all burnt out. And frankly, i like the feeling of being sober better than being high now. 

I guess that’s the only thing me and Maurice had in common. When we first became friends,  i was so happy to have someone like me. Into musicals, into anime, into all these dorky things my other friends weren’t into. but now its nothing but weed or talking about her ex boyfriend, or our friend bianca. I’m really glad her and bianca get along so well- i knew they would, i would always try getting all of us to hangout so they could get to know eachother more. But now it just feels like im on the outside. Whenever im with them they always just go off in their own space, talk about their own things that i can’t contribute because i wasnt there or not in on their inside jokes. I tried for awhile to just get used to it, because i shouldve been just happy that they were happy. But then they started hanging out without me all the time, and yeah, it makes me a little sad but no biggie it’s not like theyre my only friends. it feels like im not allowed to feel anything, like anything negative that i feel is just a sign that im getting bad again. But it hurts, like a lot. Bianca is always going on about stuff she told maurice, how maurice said that and that her and maurice always do this, and how great maurice is. Maurice is always saying how amazing bianca is and how much she loves her, how’re theyre gonna go do this and that. lately they started inviting me to hangout with them, but at this point it just feels more like pity than anything. Even when we’re all together, it’s like im intruding on their space. It just sucks. Like it’s not like i want to break them apart or anything, or for them to include me more. I don’t really want anything to happen, like im happy they get along. I just feel shitty about it. Even today, i found out something new about Bianca and yeah it was cool learning that about her but she threw in “really you didnt know? Maurice knows” and i dont know why but it stung. Probably because i was already feeling shitty today. 

Maurice had asked me earlier in the day to hangout with them tomorrow- but it was only because it had come up in the conversation because i had told her about something concerning bianca. and honestly, i felt like i couldnt go on pretending anymore to be ok. so i told her that i didnt mean to sound like a dick but i didnt really like hanging out with the two of them together- but i still liked hanging out with them seperately. which, typing this out now i realize i really went the wrong way about this. It’s different when its just me and maurice and me and bianca, its not much different and nice. but when theyre together i just feel really crummy. i wanted to try to tell her that but she just told me “okay whatever i dont even wanna ask why.” and hasnt talked to me since. my mom said if they cared theyd understand, but im not sure i even went about it the right way, if there is a right way to tell your friends that. I told her what happened and she said that bianca would talk to me about it because my mom said that she definitely cares. 

But when i told bianca about it, about maurice being upset with me and what i had said, all she said was how did they exclude me. That we played cards together that one time. That we had gone to go get hair dye that one time. I explained to her that yeah, when we went to go get hair dye it felt better because i was actually apart of their conversation. but the other times i just didnt feel like i belonged there with them. She wasnt upset about it like maurice was, but she seemed... i dunno, annoyed? not annoyed but like it was just me back on my bullshit. like it was all in my head. I think she did say it was all in my head. And after we left school a guy we knew was supposed to come with us, and she said “What, are you gonna feel excluded because Robbys coming?” in a really sarcastic voice. I just put in my headphones after that and actually did my homework. Because im supposed to be the chill one- im supposed to be the emotionless one, the one who doesnt let anything bother them because if i acknowledge that im hurt, then that means i could be getting unhealthy again. But fuck dude it did hurt. I barely tell my friends what I feel, and to be shot down like that, to be treated like i was just acting dumb again really hurt. especially because it wasnt like i was asking for anything to be different, other than me not wanting to hang out anymore. also especially coming from bianca. Out of all the people, i felt like i could count on her the most. I guess i was wrong again. Which sucks because its not like my brain goes to “ok they were a dick that time whatever”. When im not feeling good (aka when im not drugged out), my brain immedietely goes to wow what a dumbass trusting people again. 

It didnt help that Quenten came to hangout today. I normally love seeing her, and everytime i see her she vents about her problems and i support her because i know she has a lot on her plate all the time. But today it just made things worse. She vented like usual and i tried to support her the best i could, but when i tried to talk about something that was bothering me she kinda just shut me down. Cut me off, started talking about her problems again. Usually she does that, but today it hurt because i really needed someone to talk to, and i thought we were that person for eachother. 

Some shit went down with this Guy one time, and its kind of fucked me up. For awhile i tried my best not to let it get to me, tried staying friends with him and making the best of a situation because everyone told me that it wasnt that big of a deal. Not directly, but through their body language, the way they just change the subject, so i just believed that. Tried letting it go till eventually it built up inside me and blew up and left me feeling ruined. The other night i saw the Guy, and i had been doing so good, had been feeling happy and safe and just better. But he walked past me and it was like all of that just fell apart, i felt terrified again and unsafe and it was that feeling all over again, of not getting a choice, of not getting to have control, of putting my complete trust in someone only for it to be ruined. Anyways, its been leaving me fucked up for the past couple of days, and i just needed someone to talk to that wouldnt brush me aside. Im not sure why i thought that though. Quentin still thought highly of the Guy, still cared about his opinion i guess. its not like they were friends, but still. I shouldve known she wouldve blown me off when i tried talking about that situation. 

I might need to see a counselor about it, because theres no one that i can even really talk to about it. I tried with this one girl, and she really helped me. But then it turned into a shit show because she outed the guy when i asked her not to, and one of my ex good friends came to me, and basically said i was making it up. when before we stopped being friends she believed me and understood why i got scared around the Guy. I guess that situation fucked me up too lol. But theres no one i can talk to, no one i can even bounce my thoughts off of. I wish i could talk to my mom about this. Sometimes she’s really good with this shit. But i know telling her about this will just make my life worse. Ill go to being looked at like some broken pitiful thing. Im not. I might be broken but im strong and i dont want to be pitied or someone to get mad in my place. I think some part of her already knows.

I think im done talking for today. Guess spilling my guts is too much too. 

[fiftyshadesgrl]

He saved me/ part 4

Summary: reader is in a abusive relationship. When things take a turn for the worst she finds help in the winchesters.

Warning: there will be ssmut, violence, torture, abuse and language. If you triggered by any of this i suggest you not read.

Feed back is always appreciated.

A few hours later it was completely dark. Sam laid in the back seat as best he could with his headphones in sound asleep. Dean had ac/dc playing on the radio and i started singing along to my favorite song. 'You shook me all night long.' Dean looked over at me and smiled at my off key singing. Instead of poking fun at me he joined in.

After the song ended he spoke, "i didnt think you were a classic rock kind of girl."

"What kind of music did you think i liked?"

He shrugged, "that rap crap. Ya know bass blaring kinda stuff."

I laughed, "i like all kinds of music but you cant beat the classics."

"Hell yeah!" He fist bumped into the air. I couldnt hellp but smile. His carefree side was something for sure. My heart raced just by looking at him. His lips looked so soft and i wanted to kiss them. My eyes traveled down his body, i remembered his abs and chest so toned. My eyes rested on his crotch, from the outline i saw earlier he had to be huge.

"Darlin' if you dont stop looking at me that way..." he said in a raspy voice.

I whipped my head around so fast it made me dizzy. I shrank as close to the door as i could, keeping my eyes fixed on my hands. "Im so sorry. Please....i didnt..."

His hand grabbed mine and he intertwined our fingers. "Dont be sorry. I love the way you look at me, but right now youre in no condition to do what im wanting to do."

I blushed at his words, but felt a tinge of horror in my heart. "Why would you want me? Im a nobody, im worthless." I whispered.

"(Y/N) look at me." I kept my eyes on our hands. "Look. At. Me" he said more forcefully this time. I slowly turned my head and lifted my eyes to meet his. "Do not ever, and i mean ever let me hear those words come out of your mouth again. You are not worthless. You are somebody to me. Dont you ever second guess it again. Do you understand me?"

His eyes shown truth in his words. I have never had someone say that to me. I nodded in agreement but yet parkers words still sounded in my head.

'No man will ever want you after what ive done to you. You will disgust them. Just look at you, if i was any less of a man i would be disgusted. Youre fat and ugly. Your pussy isnt going to look or feel the same after this. No man will ever want to touch you again.'

"(Y/N)." Deans voice pulled me out of my thoughts. Our hands still twined together, i pulled away thinking parker was right. Dean was just being nice after what i went through. After i healed hed throw me to the curb just like everyone else did.

"You hungry? Im gonna fill up, theres a deli inside that makes subs. Want one?" Dean asked. I shook my head and turned towards the window before he could see the tears that slipped out from beneath my lashes.

He slowly got out of the car and finally i was in silence, except for sams light snoring. Dean is an amazing man, he could have any girl he wanted. He wont want a broken shell of a woman like me. I shouldve just let parker kill me. The world would be better off, dean and sam would be better off too. They wouldnt have to worry about taking care of me and have me be a burden to them.

Dean got back in the car a few minutes later holding three bags. "I figured since you liked pizza youd like this. They had pizza subs in there, i got you a drink too. I expect you to eat every bite. No arguments." He handed me the bag and i had to admit it smelled amazing. My stomach growled at the smell and he smiled and pointed to the bag.

I gave in and unwrapped it and took a bite. I havent had food this good since before i got with parker. I was lucky to have a can of cat food to eat even then i had to make it last a week, while parker on the other hand would fix himself whatever he wanted. He wanted me to lose weight.

The thoughts about me being over weight claimed my appetite and i put the sub back in the wrapper and placed it beside dean. "Thanks but im still full from earlier."

He pulled the car over on the side of the road, he turned to me quickly. "I know what youre thinking and dont do it. Eat it or i will force feed you right here right now."

Tears pooled in my eyes and he sighed, "look, im sorry im not trying to force you but you need to eat. If you dont youre not going to get better. Im just trying to take care of you." He grabbed my hand "(Y/N), what is keeping you from eating?"

I inhaled and the words just tumbled out. "Im fat, parker told me. I can see it myself. My stomach is to big, my thighs touch. Im ugly. I shouldnt eat so much. Parker only gave me a can of food a week."

Deans grip on the steering wheel tightend, i saw his knuckles turn white. "I swear that fucker is going to suffer for what hes done to you." I tried to pull my hand away but his grip tightend. "Dont pull away. I know its hard for you to realize this now but i am not parker. Youre beautiful and youre not fat. In my eyes youre the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. So no one elses opinion matters but mine."

I shook my head "dean youre just being nice because of everything that happened."

He rubbed his hand over his face in frustration, "no im not. Im telling you the truth. Now eat. We will sit here until you do." Just to prove his point he turned the key and the cars engine shut off. I sighed in defeat and started eating again.

He smiled seemingly pleased with himself. Soon we were back on the road. After i finished my sub i placed the wrapper in the bag and leaned my head over on the window. "Here." Dean said and i looked over towards him. He held his jacket out to me, i smiled "thank you." I waded it up and used it as a pillow. A pillow that smelled just like him. Soon enough i was asleep.

I woke up in a bed but this time it wasnt a hospital bed. It was softer and the covers were a bit scratchy but i was comfortable. The pillows smelled familiar, like dean. I looked around and only saw a dresser and a table with a lamp on it. I must be in his room at their house.

The door was open, i moved my leg to see if it still hurt. "Damn it!" The pain seared through my leg and i knew there was no way i could put weight on it. I sighed because i couldnt do anything for myself. I hated feeling helpless.

"You okay?" I heard deans rough voice from the doorway. I looked up and he was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. My god he looked good. I shook my head, "i hate this. I have to depend on you for everything. Im a burden to you and sam."

He walked over and kneeled beside the bed, "you are not a burden. I take care of you because i want to."

I smiled at his kind words. Ive been doing alot of smiling lately thanks to dean. Hes got such a wonderful soul and heart. He looks rough on the outside but hes really a very caring person.

"Thank you dean. I cant tell you how much i really appreciate what you and your brother done for me. I just wish i could help out in some way, but i cant do anything because of my leg." I placed my hand on his cheek and he actually leaned into my touch. I cant explain whats going on between my heart and dean but i liked it.

He looked up into my eyes with such adoration it hurt. What is it about him?

"I actually have a friend that can help you, if you want to." Dean said cautiously.

"How can they help me? Are they a doctor?"

He shook his head, "i know this is gonna sound strange. Cas...hes an angel. He can heal you in a matter of seconds and make everything go away."

I raised my eyebrow at him. He just waited patiently as i thought it over. Demons are real and i did pray that god gave me strength when i was with parker. So why cant angels be real? I looked into his eyes and nodded.

He let out a breath i didnt realize he was holding. He bent his head "cas, i need you."

I heard a big flutter of wings and there was a man standing in the doorway wearing a trenchcoat. Not the way i pictured an angel looking.

"Hello dean." Cas said in a raspy voice.

"Hey cas, this is (Y/N). She needs you to heal her." Dean said sitting on the edge of the bed beside me.

Cas walked over to me, "hello (Y/N). My name is castiel. All i will have to do is place my hand on your head."

"Thats it?" I asked.

Cas nodded and then i nodded and i shut my eyes. I felt his hand on my forehead and a warm sensation filled me. A few seconds later i felt amazing. I opened my eyes and dean was smiling at me.

"You look even more beautiful than before." He said touching my cheek. I leaned into his touch just as he did mine earlier. I looked up at cas he was standing there awkwardly.

"Thank you cas." I said shyly and he nodded. With a flutter he was gone. I looked around the room but he wasnt there.

"He does that alot." Dean said. "Now would you like to get a shower?"

I closed my eyes at the thought, "oh yes that would be amazing." I moaned, i felt dean shift on the bed. He was turned to the side with his eyes closed.

I put my hand on his shoulder, "dean?" He took a deep breath and turned towards me. He smiled and stood up and held out his hand.

I took it and stood up, and it felt amazing to be able to stand up and move without hurting. I chuckled and moved my leg and bent it. Im sure i had the most ridiculous smile on my face, but i was geniuenly thankful for everything.

"Everything feel alright?"

"Everything feels great. Thank you so much." Before i could stop myself i stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

He flinched a little and looked down at me. "Im so sorry...i didnt..im sorry." I said faster than i wanted to. I tried to turn away but he grabbed my wrist and turned me back to face him. He crashed his lips into mine and growled. His fingers tangled in my hair and pulled lightly. I bit his lower lip and moaned into his mouth.

I ran my hand up his flannel shirt and went to unbutton it when he grabbed my hands and pulled away from me. "No, i cant."

I backed away casting my eyes down to the floor, fiddling with the drawstring on my borrowed sweat pants. "No, im sorry. It was stupid of me to even think..."

He opened his mouth to speak but i just shook my head, "its okay dean you dont have to explain. I get it. Can you please show me where i can freshen up? I dont have any clothes so if its not to much trouble can i borrow these again?"

He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts and a shirt. "You can wear anything of mine you want until we can get you some clothes."

I nodded and took the clothes from him. He walked me down the hallway to the bathroom and showed me where the towels and wash cloths were before shutting the door.

After a nice long hot shower i felt even better my hair wasnt all frizzy anymore, my black tresses were perfectly combed and straight. I hardly recognized myself in the mirror without the bruises and cuts.

I was in deans clothes and they were a little baggy on me but i was a curvy woman so it wasnt to bad. I walked out of the bathroom but had no idea where to go. The only place i actually knew was deans bedroom.

I walked down the hallway and passed more doors. They were all closed so i didnt dare to open them. After all this wasnt my house, i had no business snooping. I heard sam and dean talking on down the hall so i followed their voices.

I turned the corner into a big library of some sort. Sam sat at the table reading from a book dean sat in a arm chair across from him eating a sandwhich. He smiled at me and i couldnt help but giggle at his cheeks stuffed full with food. He was so cute.

"There she is. Feel better?" He said around the food in his mouth.

"Very much, thank you. Both of you." I said looking down. "I dont really know what to do around here. Ill try to be helpful while im here. I promise i will find a place soon and be out of your hair."

Sam looked up with a furrowed brow. "No one said you have to leave. Youre more than welcome here."

I nodded and smiled shyly at sam. He went back to whatever he was doing as i paced back and forth.

Dean walked up to me and grabbed my hands. "Hey, dont feel out of place here. If youre hungry get you something to eat. If youre bored sammy has plenty of books and we have netflix. I want you to make yourself at home."

Dean was tracing circles on my hand with his thumb, my breathing hitched and i could feel, something between us. Dean seemed to notice and let go of my hands.

"Sam, you got anything on where these demons are?" Dean asked sam.

Sam shrugged, "not a hundred percent sure at the moment. Parker is for sure the leader though. It seems like its a recruitment thing. Bobbys looking into it for us."

Dean throws his hands up, "now what?"

"We wait." Sam said impatiently.

@an-unhealthy-obsession

#dean x reader #dean winchester #deanwinchester #supernatural