#he told them to let marita go. he SCREAMED for gibson to not be involved. he said no- that doggett and reyes couldn't testify.

[carefulfears]

txf30 day 4: favorite dynamic (besides the obvious): scully/mulder/skinner

y’all mind if i ramble for a second?? there are so many connections that are so important to this story, but i always come back to these three. i think everything does.

i say that memento mori is the most loving episode of the series, but when i think about that one, it’s not even the kiss in the hallway that stays with me. it’s skinner coming in to work, the first time scully was in the hospital, and finding mulder sitting in his office. and he’s just been sitting there. bypassed the secretary (lol), and just sat and waited. he doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

and the way that skinner tells him, no. don’t do it to yourself under any circumstances. that he is not to risk himself to try to save scully. ultimately, it’s not mulder that made the deal with the devil, it’s skinner who didn’t follow his own advice. (gave up everything he has, to save them both).

and these are just two weirdos who work for him in the basement!! he doesn’t owe them anything. but he’s the one there, at the end, no matter what. he’s the one who comes to get them when they’re hurt, or lost, or need help. they’re his emergency contacts, the people who show up, the people who advocate for him. the people who know him. (the bigfoot division are a.d. skinner’s silly rabbits etc etc etc)

in iwtb, after six years away, it’s skinner who comes to get scully, on the side of the road, next to mulder’s flipped car. tells her that they will find him, that he’s okay, to breathe. it’s skinner that holds mulder on the ground, in the end.

when mulder went back to bellefleur, it's skinner that scully sent with him. that girl has never trusted a single soul to so much as breathe mulder's air, but "i won't let you go alone," is immediately followed by skinner packing the car.

like trish said last night:

i think telling scully he "lost" mulder was the hardest thing he ever did. skinner loves mulder too, but mulder is scully's entire world. and this time around, he won't let scully be alone the way mulder was.

(and the kindest thing scully ever did: squeezing his hand, saying "i already heard.")

(skinner returns the favor: he tells mulder about william, so that scully doesn't have to.)

my favorite moment in requiem is the final scene, the two of them crying together. the only two people. the only two people who know.

when she tells him that she's pregnant, he's the first to know. the only person to know, for most of her pregnancy. 18 years later, he's still the first person thinking of their baby, looking out for him.

honestly, it always comes back to sein und zeit for me. when after 7 years, after 27 years, mulder says that it's just too much, and he wants to go home. he wants time away from work. the sequence in the car: mulder in the backseat, skinner behind the wheel, scully on the passenger's side. for so many years, mulder had to be searching, so that he wouldn't be alone. but now he stands in front of two people who love him, and admits to needing a break. to wanting it to stop. he's guided, he's guarded.

skinner is a hardass. it's not easy to manage their madness. it's not easy to write the footnotes, to be the person waiting, in this particular story. but like he tells mulder, 14 years after they last worked together: not a day goes by where he doesn't just wish they were there, trying to make things better.

#i hate to tell you all this #but i think the x-files is about love #and THAT'S my favorite dynamic #the way that there is no favorite dynamic because it's all built on this system of connection and care #if you love scully you love mulder if you love mulder you love samantha and so on and so on and so on #mulder and scully appear to be such lone wolves against the world but they are SURROUNDED by support #there is never any problem they could face where they wouldn't have skinner with them and tlg behind them and doggett and reyes etc ahead #when it comes down to it even the 'bad guys' have something to offer. #krycek 'always prayed' that mulder would win. csm saved scully's life. (cried holding a photo of mulder). #that's even what the original finale is all about. mulder didn't want any of those people to risk their lives for him. #he told them to let marita go. he SCREAMED for gibson to not be involved. he said no- that doggett and reyes couldn't testify. #but all of them did anyway. to save him. even dead krycek's ghost passed secrets. #anyway IT IS ALL ABOUT LOVE YOU GUYS #but it's scully/mulder/skinner at the core ALWAYS and i believe that so much and i always think about them #whenever i'm watching #so i wanted to highlight that #sorry i'm actually a mess this week so today i offer you another incoherent ramble with no point