#but i think the x-files is about love

[carefulfears]

txf30 day 4: favorite dynamic (besides the obvious): scully/mulder/skinner

y’all mind if i ramble for a second?? there are so many connections that are so important to this story, but i always come back to these three. i think everything does.

i say that memento mori is the most loving episode of the series, but when i think about that one, it’s not even the kiss in the hallway that stays with me. it’s skinner coming in to work, the first time scully was in the hospital, and finding mulder sitting in his office. and he’s just been sitting there. bypassed the secretary (lol), and just sat and waited. he doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

and the way that skinner tells him, no. don’t do it to yourself under any circumstances. that he is not to risk himself to try to save scully. ultimately, it’s not mulder that made the deal with the devil, it’s skinner who didn’t follow his own advice. (gave up everything he has, to save them both).

and these are just two weirdos who work for him in the basement!! he doesn’t owe them anything. but he’s the one there, at the end, no matter what. he’s the one who comes to get them when they’re hurt, or lost, or need help. they’re his emergency contacts, the people who show up, the people who advocate for him. the people who know him. (the bigfoot division are a.d. skinner’s silly rabbits etc etc etc)

in iwtb, after six years away, it’s skinner who comes to get scully, on the side of the road, next to mulder’s flipped car. tells her that they will find him, that he’s okay, to breathe. it’s skinner that holds mulder on the ground, in the end.

when mulder went back to bellefleur, it's skinner that scully sent with him. that girl has never trusted a single soul to so much as breathe mulder's air, but "i won't let you go alone," is immediately followed by skinner packing the car.

like trish said last night:

i think telling scully he "lost" mulder was the hardest thing he ever did. skinner loves mulder too, but mulder is scully's entire world. and this time around, he won't let scully be alone the way mulder was.

(and the kindest thing scully ever did: squeezing his hand, saying "i already heard.")

(skinner returns the favor: he tells mulder about william, so that scully doesn't have to.)

my favorite moment in requiem is the final scene, the two of them crying together. the only two people. the only two people who know.

when she tells him that she's pregnant, he's the first to know. the only person to know, for most of her pregnancy. 18 years later, he's still the first person thinking of their baby, looking out for him.

honestly, it always comes back to sein und zeit for me. when after 7 years, after 27 years, mulder says that it's just too much, and he wants to go home. he wants time away from work. the sequence in the car: mulder in the backseat, skinner behind the wheel, scully on the passenger's side. for so many years, mulder had to be searching, so that he wouldn't be alone. but now he stands in front of two people who love him, and admits to needing a break. to wanting it to stop. he's guided, he's guarded.

skinner is a hardass. it's not easy to manage their madness. it's not easy to write the footnotes, to be the person waiting, in this particular story. but like he tells mulder, 14 years after they last worked together: not a day goes by where he doesn't just wish they were there, trying to make things better.

#i hate to tell you all this #but i think the x-files is about love #and THAT'S my favorite dynamic #the way that there is no favorite dynamic because it's all built on this system of connection and care #if you love scully you love mulder if you love mulder you love samantha and so on and so on and so on #mulder and scully appear to be such lone wolves against the world but they are SURROUNDED by support #there is never any problem they could face where they wouldn't have skinner with them and tlg behind them and doggett and reyes etc ahead #when it comes down to it even the 'bad guys' have something to offer. #krycek 'always prayed' that mulder would win. csm saved scully's life. (cried holding a photo of mulder). #that's even what the original finale is all about. mulder didn't want any of those people to risk their lives for him. #he told them to let marita go. he SCREAMED for gibson to not be involved. he said no- that doggett and reyes couldn't testify. #but all of them did anyway. to save him. even dead krycek's ghost passed secrets. #anyway IT IS ALL ABOUT LOVE YOU GUYS #but it's scully/mulder/skinner at the core ALWAYS and i believe that so much and i always think about them #whenever i'm watching #so i wanted to highlight that #sorry i'm actually a mess this week so today i offer you another incoherent ramble with no point

[trashy-greyjoy]

sometimes, it's not so much about the romance as it is about the devotion. the adoration.

#pacific rim #black sails #the x-files #the bear #game of thrones #raleigh x mako #jack x anne #msr #sydcarmy #theonsa #i could go on forever i think #for me personally it is also about the romance and i do think they should all kiss and be in love but thats not THE POINT- #*adam scott meme* its about the vulnerability and unconditional care one has with someone else #how many different ways can i make this same post lets count

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Been thinking about the X-Files recently. A show I have a hazy, but fond memory of.

#the x files #x files #fox mulder #dana scully #poorly drawn x files #is this going to be a thing? maybe? #iirc: The x-files is about two FBI agents who are trying so hard to be professional and not fall in love. And everything is a conspiracy. #...It *has* been nearly a decade since I saw the x files. I think I'd have a hard time rewatching for a few reasons but I did enjoy it. #This was initially just a work doodle I wasn't going to clean up #but the amount of x-files fans that Ive seen about + Lazycranberryart's wangxian x-files art got my brain too fired up. #Mulderscully vibes are like: "I'm her silly rabbit. she doesn't call me that outloud. But I believe in my heart it's true.' #Its about having faith and trust in each other! They might not always agree either but they have each other's backs! #Scully is 100% the one that kills the spiders in the relationship. Mulder wants to rescue them but his ideals aren't strong enough #Girl Daddy and Baby Girl Boy. That's who they are to me.

[tinyydinosaurr]

trying to fall asleep at night but then i remember literally every episode where scully thinks mulder is absolutely insane but she follows him anyways because she loves him and she’s not letting him do this alone and how mulder was willing to give up the x-files if it meant scully would be safe and how if one of them is in danger the other would literally burn down to the world to pick each other from the ashes and now i can’t fucking sleep

#the episode when mulder made the population of the planet dissapear and he still looked for scully #i don’t sleep anymore #too busy thinking about them #wtf is a normal romance no their love language is “i promise you this time it’s aliens #x files #the x files #txf #fox mulder #dana scully #msr #mulder x scully #sculder

[lesbianjamies]

Before, I could only trust myself. Now, I can only trust you.

#txfedit #thexfilesedit #dailytxf #the x files #scully x mulder #xfilesedit #dana scully #fox mulder #scifiedit #dailyfilmtvgifs #cinematv #useroptional #userstream #myedit #i dont think i actually really ship them... #its just that i love scully and i love the way she cares about mulder 🥺

[pennyserenade]

thinking about mulder and scully and how gentle he was with her when she was lying there in the hospital dying. he walked into the room with a wide grin and held her hand and kissed her cheek, and spoke to her in hushed, conspiratorial tones, and everything was life or death but it was so quiet, so unimportant, as he sat by her side and looked at her. mulder looked as happy as he’d ever been, sitting there with her, and it wasn’t because he was; he wasn’t. he knew that she was dying, that they were coming upon the moment when she was no longer going to be with him sooner rather than later, and he was crushed by the weight of it, by the impossibility of it. when he came to see her again and she was sleeping, looking pallid and defeated, he slumped against her bed and cried on his knees in the dark—quiet, body wracking sobs she never knew about, because he never wanted her to know how weak her being weak made him. with the weight of impending death, mulder gave scully the most of life, all that he wished she could’ve received but hadn’t: that coddling, that affection, the beautiful mundaneness of domestic bliss. he listened to her—really listened to her. and he really loved her, loved her like a husband, or a boyfriend, loved her the way a better man would’ve.

and then when scully got better, when the cloud of death evaporated and she appeared before him with color in her cheeks and flirtation on her tongue, he took it back. gone were the days of all that soft love and affection and back was the mulder and scully of old. he sidetracked their team bonding workshop, pointedly ignored the glaring fact that scully agreed he needed to work on his communication, and got them stranded in the depths of the floridian forest. even better, he let her coddle him, let her hold him close to her chest and made her sing him a song as they shivered through the night and watched out for monsters that could kill them, because he couldn’t handle it. the idea of being anything to scully other than what he had been before — a nuisance, a challenge, a partner — terrified him so badly he went into overdrive trying to reinforce those uncomplicated roles again. it wasn’t that he didn’t love her. he did — he loved her to the point of insanity, to the point of self destruction (something she so worried about). he just didn’t know how to love scully when it wasn’t dire. he loved her so much that he could not stand the idea of failing her with anything inadequate and half baked. he was glad to give it to her when it was dire, but when it came to life long devotion, he needed a few more years.

#fox mulder #dana scully #x files #i think mulder and scully became end game at this point truly #like her original abduction scared the shit out of him and ruined his life obviously #but that time it solidified how important of a person she was to him. he realized he needed her and would do anything for her #she was his friend. his closest companion #her cancer made him realize he simply could not survive without her. he couldn’t #when she first told him about it being incurable he refused to believe it #and he so depended on her scientific nature — on her science and her rigidity regarding it — and he so valued the truth #even ugly truth. but not that one #he loved her and i think it was during this time he realized how frighteningly much

[samanthamulder]

THE X-FILES (1993-2018)

SEASON FIVE — What do you hope to find? I mean, in the end.

#txf #tv #txf5 #the x files #txfedit #tvedit #scifiedit #horroredit #90sedit #.gif #thexfilesnet #*txfrewatch #lol I had like a whole essay written in the tags here of how I feel about this season but I don't want to be too much of a hater so. #it has a few iconic motws that I wouldn't wanna miss out on but as a whole it ranks pretty low for me I think #the mytharc really starts to go off the rails here (intriguing idea with the mass ''abductions'' and all that but who came up with #that nonsense about some war between the alien species. why did that need to be a thing??) #and then some of the most important themes (like scully's faith) simply do not resonate with me #I rlly like the end as an episode and as a season finale tho (hence the quote for the caption. LOVE it) so I'm not saying it's ALL bad :') #*saul queued

[sun-3-160]

he must think he's sooooo funny (he is)

#txf #the x files #video #instead of saying anything vile or depraved about him in this scene i think im going to queue this post and go to bed :) #peace and love on planet earth everyone

[contrivedcoincidences6]

“I love you”

★☆☆☆☆

“You were my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant... my touchstone.”

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

#im seizing this meme for redistribution #if it hasn’t be done yet #there were so many fucking lines to choose from #but this one is my favorite I think #say what you will about Mulder but he gives one hell of a I love you and don’t deserve you speech #txf #the x files #fox mulder #dana scully #msr #x files

[theotherrichardpapen]

(love is a mirror. in it you see nothing except your reflection. you see nothing except your real face)

hannibal - nbc // wuthering heights - emily bronte //  mirror traps - hera lindsay bird  //  the selected plays - helene cixous   // two children in a motel - ethel cain   // my cousin rachel - daphne du maurier  

#straight up posting this on the sideblog even though i told myself i'd wait until the account issues were fixed because i'm impatient 😎 #and it's been in drafts for 2 weeks now so have this #file this one under posts that would inflict irreparable psychic damage on gregory read if he saw them #him: they're not gay ! #me: haha get web weaved idiot #i dont know if this even makes any sense but it does to me okay. my mind just goes [REDACTED] everytime i think about them #and their dynamic . so poorly explored in the film by greghead #recently rediscovered the earlyrise cover of 'narcissistic cannibal' and my love for it. not necessarily a them song exactly #but a vibe for alex nonetheless i think #like minds #murderous intent #like minds 2006 #nigel colbie #alex forbes #nigel colbie x alex forbes #tom sturridge #eddie redmayne #web weaving #quotes #literature

[carefulfears]

sometimes i just want to cry over mulder’s fish and the way that we see both scully and doggett go to his apartment and feed them during the months he was missing and the fact that scully must have kept feeding them even months after he was dead and just to be loved so much that people come tend to your environment and keep your home and feed your fish long after you’re gone

and that the first thing he notices when he comes back is that one isn’t there. and how scully tried so hard, she tried so hard to find him and to keep him safe and to keep his work going and to keep those damn fish alive, and the first thing that he says to her when they walk back into that apartment is that one is missing

the way that in that scene, he says that he’s having trouble processing, that he doesn’t know where he fits in. you can be loved so much that multiple people come feed your fish and maintain your apartment after you’re buried in the ground, you can try so hard to keep everything going for someone else, but the world keeps spinning, and time goes on. fish die and baby bumps grow and answered prayers aren’t always miracles

he came back covered in scars to a clean apartment and a fish tank missing 1 molly and where does he fit in inside a world that hasn’t waited for him, no matter how hard she tried to make it stop

#nurse she’s rambling about the fish again #he loves those fucking fish #thinking about how they’re in scully’s apartment after he leaves in s9 #anyway i know it didn’t do things perfectly but i love ‘three words’ for this dynamic #she is SO pregnant in that scene and he has missed EVERY day of it #and she has a new partner and the fbi wants him out and what is there even for him to miraculously resurrect to #having this baby and solving x-files were things that she wanted to do with him #and as far as he knows she’s been doing fine alone and with her new partner #he doesn’t know that she wept on the floor of a hospital and slept clutching his shirt in his bed #that she had to be Ripped off of his corpse and that she watched that fish die and she couldn’t stop any of it #‘don’t quite have my legs under me yet’ indeed #txf.txt #three words

[nachosncheezies]

People like Bill Jr. got all kinds of things wrong about Scully but probably none moreso than thinking it was tragic that Mulder was dragging her along on some descent into madness, when actually the real tragedy was how few of the people she loved ever realized it wasn't a descent.

(It couldn't be bc 1. it's not madness and 2. she was already there.)

#she worked hard to mask it and clearly did a good job #Mulder's gift was he could meet her where she was #I think Maggie knew it I think that's why she liked him immediately and continued to despite all the tragedy that followed #setting aside the way he was right there with her clearly devastated and ready to go berserker on a whole hospital over her daughter #and the unspoken vote of confidence from Scully herself when they found out he was the one who witnessed her living will #'oh he sees through her too. AND she hasn't jettisoned him for it. iiinch-resting.....' -maggie scully probably #i love that relative to the people I knew when I first watched now all these years later i see so many more people #recognizing how incredibly Not Normal this Put Together Human Adult Woman is #this (including above tags) has been in my drafts for weeks thems was fic-readin thoughts #i think i had just started reading AV's henry au and was having a moment over the comments about scully having a recklessness in her #and her self-destructive streak #might've also been incrementum and the part about she's crazy and he loves it bc he's pretty sure he's the only one who knows #also was not long past cancer arc and emily on my rewatch so basically #get rekt bill jr #anyway #notes to self #x files #the x files #scully #bill jr #nachos thoughts

[gay-edwardian]

They're bi4bi. They're coworkers. They solve crimes. Nobody comments on the crimes they commit together. She's very pretty and fashionable and he's a guy in a suit (affectionate). They didn't sleep together but they didn't not sleep together. Their favourite mode of communication is the double entendre.

#i was going to add the “i didn't say their names etc.” #but i couldn't be bothered #most of the time i can't get into m/f ships #but i love this dynamic #it's steed and peel #and msr #and maybe the ashes to ashes guys too i just haven't watched enough of that to be certain yet #the avengers (tv show) #x-files #do i tag a2a? #yeah why not #a2a #partywithponies you are the exact target demographic for this post i hope you see it #steed and peel have both killed people and nobody ever talks about it #it's never particularly obvious but there's a lot of #“oh that guy's never going to get up” or “maybe he survived that fall out the window but like. how likely is that” #msr's crimes are more like. constant breaking and entering #most of the time they have probable cause #occasionally mulder will enter some guy's house because he's convinced that they're using evil cockroaches to commit murders #with zero actual evidence for that line of thinking

[deep-sea-gigantinism]

thinking about the end of the samantha arc and how for me at least it ultimately lost meaning after being dragged on for so long. there were so many missed opportunities because if they had resolved it earlier, maybe sometime after missy was killed, it could’ve sent mulder into that existential “i’m done with the x files” spiral at a more appropriate point. scully could’ve tried to tell him that she lost a sister too to these people and that it’s all the more reason to not let melissa and samantha die in vain, but ultimately mulder is stuck like this—and then scully gets sick, and now he has a reason for opening these cases again. now belief is all he has. from that point on he would’ve had reasons to believe other than finding his sister, and i think it would have carried him farther in the show

#mostly what bothers me about closure is mulder losing his entire family in one episode #and i do love that he turns away from believing after scully is healed bc he feels guilty #but i think that the constant introduction of alternate samantha’s in the mytharc got old after a while #would love to hear other opinions though #txf #the x files #fox mulder #dana scully #samantha mulder #the x files spoilers

[pennyserenade]

dana scully you didn’t stand a chance and neither did i. this was one of the top ten romantic things i have ever seen in my entire life

#misc. #x files #i think about the sixth extinction i & ii: amor fati more than i should #bc i just wanted to kiss his forehead and put him to bed in it #that scene where diana said she wondered what fox was dreaming abt #and the csm said he was dreaming of what all men like him do: normalcy #the way he imagined an entire life with diana — the wedding and the babies and his sister living just down the street #with her own children #but at the end he was old and dying and alone and it was dana standing there #holding his hand telling him this wasn’t the end. that he couldn’t die. that she wouldn’t let him #that’s true love for fox: not a fantasy but someone who will remain real and constant and true even when it is hard #bc no one in his life ever was. dana won’t leave him. not in dreams. not in life. it makes me so 😭

[samanthamulder]

I feel like I’ve lost sight of myself, Mulder. It’s hard to see, let alone find in the darkness of covert locations. I mean, I wish I could say that we were going in circles, but we’re not. We’re going in an endless line -- two steps forward and three steps back. While my own life is...standing still.

THE X-FILES GIF MEME — [1/20] EPISODES layout adapted from: x + x

#starting this off with my beloved because I did not put her in my top 10 eps for the event...which was purely a mood based decision tbh #I STILL LOVE HER THE MOST ACTUALLY!! #when I think about 'and then along the way there are other fathers'.....GOD. instant emotional damage +3000 #and that looooong oner down the stairs into the basement to the furnace!! I love television <3 #the x files #txf #tv #txf4 #txfedit #tvedit #90sedit #thexfilesnet #.gif #*txfmeme #*txfmeme.episodes #also I'm hitting my own head with a frying pan as we speak because I forgot to watermark these AAAAAAAHHH I want to ***!! #*saul queued