#he’s also always on his damn phone in mk1! extreme screenager!!!

[redtailfins]

johnny cage is literally everything you could want in a pathetic guy character. he’s an a-list celebrity on his way to becoming washed up. in the old timeline he’s ambiguously divorced from an unknown ex wife and married(?) to a bad bitch named sonya BLADE. if my girl’s last name was blade i would change my last name so fast. in the new timeline he is loudly onscreen divorced in like the fourth cutscene and then starts a homoerotic relationship with a guy who broke into his house to reclaim an ancestral sword johnny bought for 3 million dollars. god takes him to train with monks and he doesn’t even make the tournament. when said guy gets blinded saving johnny’s life he uses a piece of his armour as a makeshift blindfold, leads him around like a guide dog, and gives back his ancestral sword while the yaoi leitmotif plays. he starts making psyop movies to get people used to the idea that other dimensions exist and credits god in all of them. all his fight intros involve him flipping the bird. one of his intro lines to kenshi is a silence of the lambs reference. he has an ass the size of two planets. his real name is john carlton

#mk #redtailfins originals #he’s even bisexual (delusional) #sorry he’s just the worst guy I know I can’t stop thinking about his pathetic ass #he’s also extremely alpha timeline dave coded but we shan’t speak on that #he also has an extremely horrid tattoo in the old timeline #he’s also always on his damn phone in mk1! extreme screenager!!! #the ? is because idk enough mk lore to say if he and Sonya are married married #my partner got into mk so obviously the only reasonable response was to watch four hours of mk1 2023 cutscenes #and now I am insane #kenshi takahashi IS my babygirl and I’m chewing on johnny cage like a dog toy rn