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#he’s literally gay too but i still feel gross as hell abt it yk
autistic-katara
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4 months
Text
the urge to text him at 2am and tell him i love him nd then kill myself bcz im scared of his reaction
#stg i did not sign up for the internalised homophobia this crush has brought me
#for so long i “had no internalised homophobia bcz it felt so natural and was never rlly portrayed as a bad thing” or whatever
#but suddenly this happens and the moment i think of him in any way my brains like
#“kys u fucking fag stop being a perv he probably knows nd is def uncomfortable as hell just be normal ffs”
#LIKE BRO I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS
#I THOUGHT ID BEEN SPARED
#AT LEAST WHEN IT CAME TO SEXUALITY (genders its own thing)
#BUT NO MY BRAIN IG SAW HOW MY BLORBOS REACTED TO THIS STUFF IN FANFIC AND UNIRONICALLY COPIED IT OR WHAYEVER
#he’s literally gay too but i still feel gross as hell abt it yk
#like when he IDed as aroace it made a bit of sense for me to feel like that but he’s literally into men yk-
#idk i can’t fully explain it
#ryan shut the fuck up
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