#he'd go to california every christmas and spend the time alone in some stupid hotel and become absolutely fucking unhinged.

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

sometimes i think about what would have happened if richard had died instead of henry and the rest of the book had been narrated the song of achilles style and it hurts

#raj shitposting #imagine had the fight led to the gun being thrown out the window. had henry seen that richard was shot. had the ambulance been too late.. #that is the saddest thought i've ever had #henry would quit college. buy the estate he had seen with richard. live there with all his stuff and sob into his clothes like a baby... #he'd go to california every christmas and spend the time alone in some stupid hotel and become absolutely fucking unhinged. #he'd tend to richard's mother because ofc his father would run away from home that was the kind of man he was. #and he'd call no one but his own mother for her funeral because no one else would be bothered. #he'd send some money to richard's father along with the news and go about living his life like a goddamn widow. #that's the perfect word. widow. henry would be nothing but a widow. #the bmw would be the worst thing in his possession. he'd think about selling it but he wouldn't. #he'd think that anytime he had a semblance of thought that maybe richard was with him.. it would be in that fucking car. #he wouldn't sell it out of superstition that the car was the only place where he could safely feel richard and fall apart in his memory. #he'd cry like a madman every damn day in that car.while getting groceries.visiting francis at the country house.going for dinner with them. #he'd probably get a portrait done of richard. maybe of a photo of richard in some fancy clothes francis took at the country house. #yk those times rich people ugly cry by a full size painting in a burgundy robe with wine spilled on the floor by them clutching their chest #as if in physical pain and agony? that would be my man henry. #he'd be too out of his mind to even remember that maybe that day he killed charles too because nothing seems to matter anymore. #henry winter #richard papen #winterpapen #tsh #donna tartt #the secret history #literati