#holy shit did i just give a whole angsty marriage backstory to a funny weasel in a suit?

[marinerainbow]

Tagging: @slashingdisneypasta

I've mentioned it once or twice here and there, but I haven't really gotten in detail about it before.

I headcannon that Smartass was married once, but then was divorced before the events of the movie. But I haven't talked about how this came to be, who his spouse was, and how Smartass is taking the separation now. So, I'm gonna talk about that today.

(That gif should be in reverse. I'm sorry)

Alright, the first big question. Who did Smartass marry and how did they meet?

I don't plan on giving her a name or backstory. I kind of want others to fill that in if they want to (that and I already have way too many OC's as is). But she and Smarty met while he was in law school. She was a waitress in a diner he found himself frequenting during his studies. She found him charming, even if he was distant, and he started to warm up to her. Even if he was hesitant to admit it, he liked her company.

Eventually, she decided to ask him if he wanted to pick up dinner with her. Mostly because he wound up losing track of time and stayed in the diner after her shift ended, and had only ordered coffee the whole time. But also because she wanted to see what he was like. Don't ask me how, but she managed to convince him to go with her, and that became their first date.

They actually didn't take that long to get married. Only dating for a year before Smartass decided to pop the question. She was his first official relationship, so he thought that this was the time he had to propose. She accepted, and they had a nice but quick wedding. Neither of them really had family to invite to the wedding, except Smartass' brother Stupid and his friend Greasy, and a couple of her own friends, so the wedding wasn't too big either.

However, after that, it wasn't too long before the marriage became strained. They both were young, and had just assumed they were ready for the married life. But they did try to make it work; they still loved each other at the time. However, things came to a head when the school found out about Smartass' criminal life style.

The whole gang wasn't present at that point. At that point in time, it was just him and Greasy, and Stupid was starting to join the gang too. They didn't commit too big of crimes yet, and Smarty didn't have as much power back then as he does now, but they were still wanted by the police. Smartass had gotten into law school under a different name, thinking he could find a way to use the law to protect them if he got the license to be a lawyer. And his wife wasn't too happy when she found this out.

It wasn't just his double life that made her want to leave him, there were other factors too. He didn't treat her wrong or anything, but they just weren't ready for marriage and the stress of it all was getting to both of them. But finding out she didn't know her husband as well as she thought she did was the final nail in the coffin for her to tell him she wanted a divorce.

I think at first he may have been heartbroken. Like I said, they still loved each other. But he also would have realized at that point that A) he can't force her to stay with him. You can't really blame a gal if she doesn't want to be tied to the crime life. And B) the relationship had run its course by now. So, he gave her what she wanted. They split their assets evenly, and they never saw each other again. And by far, he hasn't remarried again.

Now. Does Smartass miss her? Well... It's complicated.

Once they separated, he could fully see that there were too many forces against them for them to last long. So, in a way, he's kind of glad that they ended on good terms instead of growing to resent each other like his own parents did (long story).

But some days, when he's feeling down and sentimental, he does miss what they did have. And sometimes, he looks back and wonders what their lives would be like today if they hadn't gotten divorced. That and, Stupid does miss his former sister-in-law. That's an extra twist to the heart.

But, the dice have been rolled now. They can't go back to the way things were. Even if Smartass wanted to pursue her again years later, she's no doubt heard of the big name he and his pack of weasels have made for themselves by now; the chances of her changing her mind on having a crime boss as a spouse is pretty slim.

They both have their own, separate lives now. And they both agree that it's just better to keep it that way.

Well, I hope you guys liked this serving of angst today. Any questions you guys have I'll be happy to answer ^^

#WFRR #Who Framed Roger Rabbit #Toon Patrol #Smartass Weasel #Stupid Weasel #Greasy Weasel #Disney #Disney Villains #my own headcannons #holy shit did i just give a whole angsty marriage backstory to a funny weasel in a suit? #(ive given all the weasels their own angst though so he aint alone) #this is what happens when i unnecessarily obsess over characters