#honestly becoming an eilistraee paladin fits shri'iia's route sm except that i dont think she wants to serve any gods or goddesses anymore

[swordmaid]

really do like shri'iia being an oath of the crown paladin when she was still in menzoberranzan meaning that she very much upheld the terror and status quo lolth enforced over her drows. she was kind of an inquisitor in a way, or a crusader, and she hunted down anyone who didnt want to follow lolth. she was very much a part of the people who enforced that fear and paranoia lolth particularly likes, more so as she was kept in the shadow so she just instills dread on others without them knowing. her name is supposed to mean 'silent chaos' btw and she did just that. but then the script flips and now suddenly she's one being hunted. the worst part is shri'iia never understood why anyone would want to defy lolth before, but now that she's seen the other side and she's seen the potential that they were robbed from, that's when she understands why even though they were raised in the dark, some still yearned to see the sun. that's when she understands why her own mother was willing to throw everything away and be an outcast so she's not under lolth's gaze anymore, and i don't think shri'iia regrets what she has done when she was still following lolth - more so that she regrets and scorns that she never knew there were other options besides lolth, and it's possible to live without that constant fear and dread that comes with serving the spider queen.

#honestly becoming an eilistraee paladin fits shri'iia's route sm except that i dont think she wants to serve any gods or goddesses anymore #like she knows full well the depths of her own devotion and how it will lead to her own ruin #and she knows herself enough that she doesn't do things by halves lol. it's all or nothing for her #but man mmm i really like the concept of shri'iia being this kind of person who used to hunt down anyone who tried to escape lolth #/or worshipped anyone else than lolth. then when she gets forsaken she's suddenly thrown on the opposite pov #now shes the one who's hunted down like a dog. she's the one who's running for their lives to taste the sun that was stolen away from them #and now she's understanding why they'd risk everything for it. so now her story goes like does she keep running or does she turn back #you know .. i really like that possibility for her of regressing and turning back even though she's seen and tasted what freedom is like #bc she wants that certainty again. and there's a strange comfort in being in that hostile environment bc that's all she knew before u know #which is the more tragic end for her but it is possible and i want to do that route someday (its basically where she reclaims her oath agai #lol) but every time i think about it i get sad for her 😭😭😭😭 like you deserve to be out of the cult u were born in baby girl..!!! #shut up about bg3.