#house hubby venti for the soul

[tomaytow]

THE MONDSTADT INQUIRER

MONDSTADT, MONDSTADT

(c) The Mondstadt Inquirer Company, 20XX | MONDSTADT, THURSDAY, JUNE 16TH, 20XX

VOL. CLXVII ... No. 616

HAPPY SPOUSE, PEACEFUL HOUSE!: THE GUIDE TO LIVING AN AMAZING LIFE WITH HOUSE HUSBAND VENTI 

BY: ANONYMOUS 

— MONDSTADT CITY

Welcome, Windblume!

Thank you for this secret purchase. We’re grateful for the continuous efforts that you’ve done for the publishing company so we’ve decided to dedicate ourselves to do more research to provide you the best quality information as a gift.

We’ve noticed that you’re still having a great time with your beloved husband, and we’re very happy that your married life is still on the honeymoon phase. Congratulations to you and to Venti!

It’s a common fact that Venti adores happy endings, so in order to reach that, we’ve decided to help you once again!

We hope this next guide will aid you in your journey!

House husband Venti is a sweet, romantic, and affectionate lover.

When he wakes you up, he’ll pepper your face with lots of kisses. It’s either on the forehead, on the cheeks, on the jaw, on your lips (and it’s the most important of all, according to him.)

Morning kisses are essential and aren’t you so lucky to witness Venti’s bedhead? Venti’s braids that are down? Feel free to stroke them, or even just play with them. He enjoys it when you do.

(Also if you do tug on it, these are the possibilities that may happen:

– He will tug your hair too, and it’ll be war! Though make sure to brush his hair afterward, and he’ll do the same for you. Bedheads are nice, and he finds it funny (you both match!), but you both don’t want to have a bad hair day, yes?

– Or he’ll like it. Yes. You’ve read it right. He’ll like it when you pull his hair. This is a dangerous possibility. It may lead you to never getting out of bed. Yes. We are implying what you are thinking, so be careful, soldier.)

And we’ve heard you. Indeed, your ears will be blessed. Venti is known for his siren calls, his beautiful melodies, his soft hummings and wonderful laughs. But his morning voice? Good lord. He can’t help it – it’s out of his control.

If you find it hot, then we recommend you to look at him while he speaks. There’s a high chance that he may be talking to you with half–lidded eyes and a lazy smirk.

But if you have a weak heart, we recommended you to look the other way. Venti has a big effect on people and we wouldn’t want our lovely Windblume to faint.

House husband Venti is actually a bad influence.

Despite saying this a lot of times in the previous issues, you know that we mean well. If you remember issue 79th and issue 82nd, the following paragraphs will perhaps, be a piece of cake to you.

You have work. It’s basic knowledge that Windblume can’t afford to be late. You are diligent, after all, and you have a good attendance record. But Venti knows his power. He knows that you just can’t get enough of Venti’s kisses—and he feels the same way, by the way—and that’s very bad for you. Very, very bad.

The Kissing Venti Addiction or KVA is not curable, but it can be controlled and prevented.

Venti will do everything just for you to not go to work. And if Windblume is still so downbad for him, please remember that you have bills to pay. And wine to pay, in Venti’s case.

It’ll be like this everyday. He’ll dote on you, compliment your appearance, before pulling you closer to his chest for a tender kiss. And then the next thing you know is that you’re both engaged in a heated make out session. When will it end, you wonder? We don’t know. It may take forever.

(“V–Venti—mhm,” you pant, pushing him away for a bit. “i– i have to go, i have work to do—“)

According to issue 11th, it’s already a given that Venti is very needy. And very clingy. He will pout if you both stop. He will whine. You will feel his arms snaking around your waist desperately, and he will give you the biggest puppy eyes. “But windblume…” And yes, he will beg.

He’ll stubbornly kiss you more. He’ll not give you room to talk. He’ll cage you in his arms. He’ll busy himself with you. Even if he’s lithe, even if he has stick arms, Venti is extremely strong so you can’t really get up once he pins you down on the bed.[1] Venti demands more kisses, you hear? He needs to recharge.

(NOTE: Bear in mind that it’ll never be enough. It’ll always never be enough. The only solution? Kiss him deeply. Kiss him so much to make his toes curl and stomach flutter. Kiss him until he can’t breathe. And once you pull away, we guarantee that Venti will be stuck in a lovesick daze – he’s distracted by your suddenness. Remember in issue 1st? Venti loves it so much when you make the first move. So once he’s stuck in that mood, quickly remove yourself away from his grasp.)

(ANOTHER NOTE: Please check issue 16th or our additional footnote in the bottom of the article for more information regarding badass Venti)

Remember, this is a risk that you’ll have to take. It’s either you’ll be successful in running to the bathroom to finally start your morning routine, or Venti will instantly snap out of it. He’s sensitive. If he feels the lack of warmth, he’ll get back to his senses. He’ll only be distracted for a short period of time.

We pray for your future victory. But if you’ve failed, then we humbly ask you to consider it a win. All Windblumes are born with KVA, so who are you to reject Venti’s kisses?

Venti will laugh at your failed attempt—read: think you can get away?—before yanking you down on the sheets for another make out session.

But we sincerely apologize if you turned in late for work because of this. Venti will tighten his hold on you so there is really no escape.

Though you can always follow advice from issue 3rd: Venti has a weak spot. It’s his sides. Tickle him. 

House Husband Venti will always long for your presence.

After giving him one final kiss on the lips, he’ll yearn all day long. Sure, you’ve spoiled him by complimenting his decent cooking skills—Venti’s homemade breakfasts are tasty and very cute, after all (see: Venti’s homemade lunches)—and you’ve given him enough time to smother you again with so much love, but remember: it’ll always never be enough.

He’ll do the chores just to get his mind off of you for a bit, but it’ll be pointless, because everything in your shared apartment (or house) just reminds him of you. You’re everywhere, but you’re not here.

When he’s restocking the fridge, Venti will reminisce about the time when you both recently went to the grocery. Venti loves grocery shopping with you because it’s just so domestic, and also he’ll always deceive you into buying more wine. But as the responsible one, you need to reprimand him. You may poke him (gently) in the forehead or even give him the nastiest glare.

If you did the former, Venti will get whiney again and fake cry. If you did the latter, it’s either Venti will snicker or pout – don’t look at me like that, I’m sorry, Windblume!

When he’s folding the laundry, Venti can’t resist himself so if you ever catch him hogging all your fresh clothes, do not mind him. He really, really likes your smell and your smell brings him closer to you, so again, do not mind him.

Yes, there’s a high possibility that Venti may bury himself in your warmer clothes, like your long–sleeved shirts, hoodies, sweaters, or jackets. He may even wear it. But don’t blame him and call him weird, okay? He really just misses you! And he’s your husband! He has the right to smell and scent your clothes!

And did you know? This is also Venti’s way of marking what is his.

Yes. He intended it for it to happen – for your workmates / colleagues to distinguish the scent of cecilias or the hints of apple fragrance on your clothing.

Venti wants to smell like you, and he wants you to smell like him. You’re taken, you’re MARRIED, and he wants everyone to know that.

When he’s fixing your bed sheets, he’ll simply gush all by himself because he will recall your expressions earlier. (Envision: a giddy Venti plastered on the bed, lying supine on your spot.) A sleepy Windblume is just too cute! He wants to squeeze your cheeks!

Ahh, this makes him miss you even more. Come home soon, love. If he can’t hold it anymore, you can’t stop him from visiting your workplace.

If the above mentioned does happen, please do not ignore him. He may be a hindrance or he’ll interfere with your work, but allow him to at least to just see you! 

You do have to tell him to go home, though (you want him to stay, actually, but your boss will get angry, your colleagues will annoy the hell out of you, and you won’t be able to focus on your job). So, with a heavy heart, you send him off after reassuring him that you’ll be back home soon. Yes. You’ll reassure him lots and lots – it’ll be perfect if he comes home giggling like a high school boy in love. Oh, Windblume.

House Husband Venti is also a good influence.

And man, of course he does! This has been stated many times in the previous issues; he has a good impact on your life and he helped in shaping you to become a better person! He’s still doing it today! 

But yes, he is a good influence. He wants to take care of you, and he wants you to take care of yourself!

When you come home tired from work, Venti will engulf you in a biiiiiiig hug. And yes, his hugs will make you melt. Venti is besotted with you so we’re not going to be surprised if you: 

1.) find yourself laying on his lap;

2.) find yourself sitting on his lap;

3.) find yourself laying your head on his shoulder;

4.) find yourself draped all over his body or, 

5.) find him on top of you 

1. If you find yourself laying on his lap, then feel free to bask in this very moment. Not anyone can get as lucky as you, Windblume. Not anyone can lay their heads on Venti’s famous thighs. They’re softer than your pillows and if you’re not careful, you may pass out once you perch your head on top of it! 

Not to mention how Venti’s constantly praising you for your hard work in whispers or mutters. It’s what you deserve, being sweet talked. This is his reward for all the sacrifices you’ve made. So don’t fall asleep just yet!

There is a theory that if Windblume has a headache and you inform Venti about it, he won’t hesitate to lean down and to press his lips on your forehead. Some accounts say that Venti’s kisses work wonders, so if your headache is gone by the minute, please send us an email ASAP with a brief explanation of how, what, and when it happened to confirm our theory. 

2. If you find yourself sitting on his lap, we hope you’re used to Venti spoiling you because like number one, he’ll also spill sweet and touching words from those lips of his that will undoubtedly make you flustered. Venti has his way with his words, he isn’t one of the best singers in your time for nothing, and if you can’t get a hold of yourself, Venti will drown you lovingly. 

(NOTE: We speculate that Venti may give you kisses on the cheeks as well. Lips are included too.

We also want to point out that if you move too much in his lap, we’re not responsible for what’s about to come. We did tell you that Venti always yearns for you, and he’s needy. Very needy, so we highly suggest for Windblume to stay still.)

3.) If you find yourself laying your head on his shoulder, then it’s okay to take a nap for a bit. Like Venti’s thighs, Venti’s shoulders are good pillows, too. Venti will have an arm around you, will rub your sides for a bit, and our favorite: he will sing you a lullaby or if you want, one of your favorite songs. 

Number three is just pure fluff because all Venti ever wants during this time is to surround you with his affections, and you have to take it all, okay? Take. It. All. Listen to his singing. Relax. Breathe in. Breathe out. Clear your thoughts.

Ahh, it is a calming time, indeed. 

4.) If you find yourself draped all over his body, we will just assume that you are too exhausted to care, for you to collapse so shamelessly on your husband. If you have your head resting in Venti’s chest, you are allowed to nuzzle into it. You will hear him giggle and you will feel him pat your head. This innocent action of yours may deliver different messages to Venti, so again, we are advising you to be observant of what you’re doing. For we are not responsible for what’s about to come. We do, however, will assist in preparing you for the sudden changes that may arise.

Venti can read you like an open book. We will not be shocked if he actually knows everything about you at this point. 

If your aim is to only cuddle with him, then be all tender. Or careful. Or cautious. Spoil him because you are in charge. Interlock your fingers with his, pinch his braids, wallow him in praises. Now that’s an uno reverse that we’d like to see. If you’re lucky and won the 50/50, you may even witness a rare embarrassed Venti!

Embarrassed Venti is hard to catch and if you bring this up to him, he’ll deny it, and blush even more. He will try to hide it, and let him. It’s amusing and adorable to see the Anemo Archon squirm and conceal his flushing cheeks with his braids.

If you continue to tease him, he’ll whimper and cover your eyes instead. (Don’t look. He’s not usually like this!!)

Kisses are okay, but there are some exceptions. Don’t let it lead to passionate kissing sessions, because again, we are reminding you that Venti can misinterpret your actions. 

Here are the safest locations to kiss Venti:

- his head 

- his forehead

- his cheeks

- his lips (without tongue)

But if you are curious about the hotspots (or the not-so-safe locations, or Venti’s favorite spots):

- his neck

- his chest 

- his thighs

- his lips (with tongue)

If it’s all getting heated, then that’s out of our hands, Windblume, which may lead us to number five.

5.) If you find him on top of you, we can deduce that this happened because he missed you really badly or if you kissed his favorite spots. Like from morning earlier, Venti will kiss you and kiss you, as if he’s starving for it. As if it’s his saving grace. As if it’ll be the last kiss you’ll ever share with one another. The kisses will be tripled.

Don’t even think about escaping once more. Now that you’re home, Venti won’t separate himself from you, even if you nudge him about tonight’s dinner. The takeout that you’ve bought will grow cold, and Venti dislikes cold food, but he’s too occupied in devouring Windblume. 

You can shift, search for a way out, but it’s all futile. He has an iron grip on your wrists and he’s holding you down. Venti’s built differently. You can’t free yourself from Venti’s love. You are trapped.

Venti wants you to forget about work. You’re in his arms now so he wants to be your only priority. Focus only on him and him only. Forget about your colleagues. Your boss. The strangers you’ve interacted with on the way home. You’re here now. You are home with him. 

He will get rid of your weariness.

Number five is all the other numbers combined. Venti will praise you, sing to you, touch you, and kiss you. Windblume will definitely and ABSOLUTELY be overwhelmed by Venti’s love.

We’re not sure if you both would eat dinner at this point but we are sure that Venti will seduce you to come join him in your bedroom, whether you like it or not. It’s up to Windblume what happens onward, but it’ll be a long night!

Though we find your progress fortunate, considering you’re both thriving in the sheets nowadays, please feed Venti first. Yes, feed him with a spoon and again, spoil him. He probably skipped his meals just to wait for you. 

Happy marriage!

FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)

We have assembled some of your previous questions and our previous answers in case you’ve lost the articles.

Q1: Venti seems moody lately. I don’t know what I did but he seems to be avoiding me. All I remember is that I invited him for a drink in Mr. Diluc’s bar and then I freestyle danced with some men and women. Help, please! I don’t know how to deal with this! It hurts me that Venti’s giving me the silent treatment!! 

A1: Silly Windblume! It seems that our music–loving lad is jealous. Don’t worry about it too much though, Venti won’t be avoiding you for a long time soon because spoiler alert! He loves you too much! But don’t tell him that. You’re supposed to be the one who should make the first move and the one who first confesses.

Venti wants you to take the first step, and then he’ll follow.

Q12: So I’ve been doing some research and… Is it just me or does Venti look exactly like the Anemo Archon? It’s not just the hair, but the shape of his body as well...

If he truly is the Anemo Archon Barbatos… um. I don’t know what to feel about that.

A12: Oh dear Windblume! We deeply apologize. We cannot answer this matter because we have signed a contract so our mouths are shut. This is actually something we cannot handle. Your best place to start, however, is to talk to Venti himself.

We cannot guarantee if he will answer you seriously. He does have the penchant to stray away from these kinds of topics or even leave the scene with his signature ehe!

But surely, maybe you have a chance for him to give you an honest response. That is, if he trusts you enough to finally open up about his past.

Q27: I want to sing a song for Venti, but I’m too shy. Venti’s just so amazing with his tunes and I’m just… me. I don’t even have an amazing singing voice! How can I even catch his attention when our interests don’t align with one another?

A27: Fear not, Windblume! You don’t have to be shy when it comes to singing, especially if it’s for Venti himself. If you’re afraid that he’ll judge you—he does have the reputation for being one of Mondstadt’s popular bards—Venti is actually kind–hearted. If you want our opinion, Venti’s the best person to go to if you want a shoulder to cry on or to rant about literally anything.

But back to the point, just be yourself! Venti admires people who are real and true to themselves, and you don’t have to change yourself just to impress him.

And as for the interests, there is a saying that opposites attract! Wink wink.

Q49: So this is going to sound very strange, but I can’t find Venti anywhere. And I really, really REALLY need to talk to him. Yet all I can ever see is this one wind wisp that’s following me everywhere I go…

A49: Again, we don’t have the right to answer these kinds of questions because it’s out of our control. Sorry, dearest Windblume, but you’ll just have to be stuck with the cute wind wisp for a while!

Please do update us on what happens next. We’re genuinely curious about the elemental being! Te-hee~!

Here’s a helpful tip: we’ve heard from some reliable sources that the wind wisp who’s accompanying you is fond of apples. Try feeding the cutie the fruit, and maybe you’ll finally know about the truth!

Q65: I’ve made a discovery, and I’m proud of it. Apparently, Venti’s not used to touches, is he? My man is touch–starved and I tried holding his hand… Now he doesn’t want to let go. What to do? He’s sleeping beside me right now in Windrise and I’m shaking as I type this on my phone!

A65: Congratulations! We are very proud of your recent progress, and we encourage you to keep going! Please touch Venti with all your heart’s content, so hold him close, because you are right! We are confirming it, Venti’s touch–starved!

Windblume, you’ll have to talk to him to let go of your hand~ but Venti is obstinate, and once you indulge him, he’ll indulge you back.

And isn’t that just so sweet and metaphorical? Venti doesn’t want to let go!

Q66: You’re right. He did indulge me back because after I told him that my hand was numb—because as much as I want to hold his hand for a bit longer, I have things to do!—Venti just snickered at me and fell asleep again.

So the whole night, we were in Windrise, holding each other’s hand…

A66: The dating stage is always so dreamy~

Q615: Venti’s a kissy freak. Will there ever be a time that Venti will get tired of kissing?

A615: Fortunately, no~ you’ve married Venti, and you’re Venti’s beloved spouse. He loooooooooooooves kissing you!! Do not expect Venti to get tired of kisses so easily because once again: it’s never enough for the Anemo Archon! 

And you have a KVA!! A Kissing Venti Addiction! Don’t ask hypocritical questions like this, Windblume! 

Footnotes

[1] In issue 16th, we’ve discussed badass Venti, and we remember how gobsmacked you were when you found out that Venti knows archery. Venti has a keen eye and you know, do not judge the book by its cover! The Anemo Archon may look gentle and delicate, but he has a history for slicing mountains! 

He was one of the best archers during the Windblume Festival. He’s a proficient marksman. Stick arms, yes, but we recommend Windblume to at least touch his biceps once in a while~

Some Authors’ Notes:

We’ve actually read your comments. We are also proud of Venti’s development, too. If you’re wondering why he’s so responsible now, well, the answer is: it’s because of you. He’s doing this all for you because he loves you. It’s always been you.

Venti’s love can’t be measured, unfortunately, but we have an estimation: it’s beyond us. 

You’re bound to him for eternity (if that’s what you want, and y’know, Venti wants that, too.) 

Anyway, we hope to see you again in the next issue! Happy Birthday to Venti!

#CW: suggestive #again this post is suggestive and FLUFFY #lots of kisses #house hubby venti for the soul #very self-indulgent #venti x reader #i regret nothing #tomaytow experiments with her writing once again! #if you squint it's actually a modern au #i think #tomato.writes