#i always suspected bipolar a little bit cause genetics but thought most likely not

[ramblinseahorsey]

Me: Why r my adhd meds making me feel worse not better :( Also I am the meanest person alive I shall hide in my room and sleep forever from guilt

A few weeks later

*Gets diagnosed with Bipolar* OHHHHHHHH

#NOW WERE GETTIN SOMEWHERE #now: to find out if the issues focusing are all bipolar or also adhd #and how the heck to get adhd meds thst dont ruin the help of the bipolar meds im trying #if these meds are even the ones but i have high hopes cause they work for mom! #THIS COULD BE IT #rambles #disabilities #i always suspected bipolar a little bit cause genetics but thought most likely not #suspected a lot MORE 2020 on as all the stress exacerbated symptoms #but i really didnt want it to be true #and now even looking back to being a kid #so many things clicking i feel so STUPID #its like realizin all my cryin & procrastinatin & feelin stuck doin things i hate wasnt me just bein lazy but mental health issues as a kid #realizing i might not be evil after all! TWO!! #still should stay in my room until i can wean off the adhd meds though just because i understand my outbursts doesnt mean i can excuse em #all i can think to do lol #the thing that scares me is how it comes out of nowhere it didnt happen very often as a kid and was a lot of bottled up anger #or run around the yard about it #i wonder if i have mixed affective state #it just goes from manic to depressed and vice versa on a DIME its scary