#i am handing you a plastic spider arcade ring

[j-esbian]

The Approximately Week-Long Tale of Alyabug and Chlo Noir

on ao3

@larvesta continues to bless us with incredible gay art and this one was just too good to resist

Words: 3287

Part 1 of 3

Chloé may have been blonde, petty, annoying, superficial, and a thousand other irritating things, but she was definitely not stupid, and now Adrien was going to pay for that. He, like so many boys before him, had underestimated her, which had proven to be his own downfall.

Of course, he had a bit more on the line than most.

He still didn’t know what gave it away. The jokes? Hilarious, sure, but surely there wasn’t anything incriminatingly unique in his brand of humor. Did he slip up--say something only Adrien would know, as Chat, or something only Chat would know, as Adrien? Was it just those unconscious mannerisms that gave him away, like the way he flicked his head to shake his bangs from his eyes? Maybe if he could explain it away he could forgive himself.

It was no use speculating. Nope, he skipped over that right into the next stage of grief: depression. Specifically, the kind that involved a lot of self-pity and laying in bed.

“Plaaaagg. Chloé knows! This is terrible! What if she gives me away? And now she’s never going to leave me alone! What do I dooooo?” he moaned dramatically.

Plagg hovered nearby, exasperation written over every centimeter of his tiny face. “Well, for starters, you could stop being such a whiny little bitch.”

Adrien slid his arm off his face and glared at the kwami with his one exposed eye. “I’m coping,” he said flatly.

“And how is this helping, exactly?”

He was quiet for a moment, then rolled over. “Shut up. That’s what I’m asking you.”

Plagg gently lowered himself to the bed and sat down. “Hey, look on the bright side. If something happens to you, you always have a backup.”

Adrien mumbled something into his pillow.

“Now, I’m not saying something is going to happen to you,” Plagg continued. “I’m just saying, it’s a very real possibility. You could get sick, maybe, or get hit by a bus! Then where would Ladybug be?”

Adrien picked his head up. “Yes, thank you, Plagg. If I get hit by a car, I’ll be sure to give my miraculous to Chloé so she can fill in. I’ll have to remember that between the bleeding out part and the dying part.”

But Plagg was picking up momentum now. “No, don’t you see? This gives you so much more freedom! If you need to go away--go! You’ve got a replacement!”

“You really would trust Chloé to take care of the city?”

Plagg shrugged. “Hey, I wouldn’t have trusted you at first, either, but I had to, and look where we are now.”

Adrien moved onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, his hands folded pensively across his chest. “You don’t think anyone would notice that Chat was suddenly, I don’t know, a girl?”

“Listen, kid. Weird stuff happens all the time, and no one notices.”

“If you’re sure…” Adrien trailed off. “It’s just--I think Father’s getting suspicious that something’s up. He keeps eyeing my ring, like he recognizes it from that book we saw. And he keeps trying to get me out of the country. I’m sure that’s not his intention, but the way he keeps looking at me when I say no… I wonder.”

“Honestly, I wonder, too,” Plagg said. “Here’s a thought. Run the sub idea by Chloé, first. If it’s okay with her, go on the trip with your dad. If not… we’ll figure something else out, okay? This isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with suspicious parents.”

Adrien thought for a moment, then banged his fist on the bed, causing Plagg to bounce unpleasantly. Adrien stood up. “All right,” he said determinedly. “Let’s go.”

Plagg looked at him upside down. “What, now?”

“Yeah, why not?” Adrien shrugged. “Plagg, transform me!”

Chat Noir rolled onto Chloé’s balcony a few minutes later, skidding impressively to a stop, though of course no one noticed. He straightened up and straightened his bell and knocked on the glass door. A figure he hadn't noticed until it moved ducked out of the room, and he shifted uncomfortably in place. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.

Chloé appeared in her bedroom doorway, but Chat barely had time to notice that before she was opening the door and squeezing him into a tight hug. He patted her back awkwardly, then sidestepped his way out of the embrace.

He smiled and waved uncomfortably at Sabrina, who colored slightly at the proximity of one of her idols. He turned to Chloé. “Uh, can we talk?”

She flashed her teeth at him. “Sure! Sabrina, if you wouldn’t mind…” She made a shoo-ing motion with her hand.

Sabrina stared blankly at her for a moment, uncomprehending. “Huh? I--Oh, sure! No problem, Chloé. See you tomorrow!” She started to leave, then turned back at the door. “Bye, Chat Noir!”

He wiggled his fingers back at her and put up a pained smile as he watched her inch the door ever-so-slowly shut. If she was waiting to hear their conversation, she’d be there all day. But eventually the latch clicked, and Chat dropped his polite face and turned to Chloé.

“Hey, so, this might be weird, but hear me out,” he began.

She rolled her eyes and fell backwards onto her couch with an exasperated sigh. After arranging herself into the cushions to be more comfortable, she looked up at him expectantly. “Well? Sit down.”

He did so, perching nervously on the edge of the couch facing hers. “Um. So,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “So, uh, you know.”

“Yes, Adrikins, we’ve been over this,” she replied patiently. “Although, now that you’re done freaking out, I suppose you’re here to tell me I should have just kept my mouth shut for my own good, or whatever. Listen, I’ve seen Spider-Man. I’m sure you were keeping it a secret to protect me. But honestly, I can’t believe you never said anything!”

It was his turn to roll his eyes. Honestly, though, this was doing wonders to make him more at ease. “You know, Chloé, I kind of had bigger things on my mind.”

“But I’m your best friend?” she pouted.

“Sure, okay, but I haven’t told anybody,” he protested. “Technically, I still haven’t told anybody, since you figured it out on your own, but--”

“Wasn’t hard,” she interrupted, smirking.

“Right, but-- Chloé, you have to be careful.”

She leaned her head back and sighed. “Yeah, I know,” she said. “Can’t blow your whole superhero thing for you, huh? What would your dad say?”

“No, I mean, like--” Chat took a deep breath and started over. “If you get akumatized again, Hawk Moth might be able to, like, see into your head and figure out who I am, which is, like, the worst possible thing.”

She gave him a winning smile. “You have nothing to worry about. I am a perfectly pleasant person.” He stared at her in astonishment, and she laughed. “Alright, noted. Don’t worry, Adrien, I’ll be more careful.”

He nodded distractedly. “Good.”

Chloé slowly examined her nails, and seemed startled when she looked up to see him still looking at her expectantly. “Was there something else?”

“Well, yeah, actually,” he said slowly. “Um, it’s about my dad.”

She sat up eagerly. “Yeah, what about your dad? How the hell is he not onto you? How are you getting around when he basically used to have you under house arrest?”

“Hmm, yeah.” He coughed. “He’s not… not onto me, I don’t think. Or, I think he’s suspicious, at least. So I need your help with something.”

“What is it?”

He took a deep breath. “I want you to be Chat Noir.”

All was well; all was perfectly set up. Adrien planned to smuggle a perfectly innocuous wooden box into Chloé’s purse and leave school wearing a cheap plastic ring won from an arcade game. He was pleased with himself.

And just as he had everything arranged, his partner’s fell apart. While Adrien and Chloé reveled in their crystal-perfect plan, Marinette received news that her grandfather died.

“Now, I know it's a lot,” Sabine told her. “But your father and I are going to leave for Narbonne tomorrow, because he has a lot to do and we need to start planning the funeral. I know you have school and we're not going to force you to come along. You're responsible, Marinette, and I understand if you don't want to come along, and your father and I agree that we trust you enough to stay here for the week. Mrs. Chamack has offered to let you stay with her. But I also think you might consider coming with. I know Papa would really appreciate it.”

“I…” Marinette sniffled hard and drew her sleeve across her nose. “Of course I want to come, Maman. I'll just ask Alya for any work I miss, but I don't want to miss Grand-pere’s funeral.”

Sabine enveloped her daughter's slim hands in her own and gave her a soft smile. “I know, dear, I know,” she murmured. A bell downstairs rang, barely heard in Marinette's room all the way from the bakery, and then again, and the tender moment was shattered. She patted Marinette’s hands gently and stood to answer the call.

Marinette closed the door behind her mother and returned to her chaise. She sat down slowly, her face still blank and unmeasured, her mind still clearly in shock. Tikki crept out from behind a pillow and laid a reassuring paw on her leg, gently rubbing in calming circles. “Oh, Marinette…”

She sniffled again. “I just… I can't believe it, Tikki. We haven't visited my grandparents in a long time, but I just keep thinking about the last time we saw them, and he was fine. And I know he had heart problems and I know that can be unexpected but I just…” She broke off into a rattling sigh. “God, Tikki, I did get to say goodbye, but it was three years ago.”

Tikki flew up to reach Marinette's cheek and give her a kiss. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and murmured, “I know, Marinette, it's okay to be sad. I'm so sorry.” After thousands of years of dealing with death, she found she still had no idea how to confront it.

Marinette said nothing in response, simply touching Tikki briefly on the cheek before slowly laying down on her side. She stared at the wall, teetering on the edge of tears but too numb or not sad enough to actually cry, and hating herself for it. At some point in her silent reverie, she fell asleep, her dreams full of the same discomfort and unrest as her waking thoughts.

She awoke some time later, to a room saturated with sunset hues and a stifling warmth. Tikki dozed peacefully on her thigh. Marinette smacked her lips together, trying to wet her dry mouth with her parched tongue, and squinted for her phone in the low light. She found it resting near the edge of the chaise, and managed to slowly sit up and reach over for it without disturbing the sleeping kwami. It was for naught, though, since the clock told her she was late for patrol. Her stomach grumbled and she reflected that her parents must have forgotten to make dinner, or they had decided to let her sleep through it.

She tapped Tikki gently on the head. “Tikki, wake up. We need to go.”

Tikki stirred, yawning widely. “Marinette? What time is it?”

“Late,” she replied, scooping her up so she could stand. “I need to grab something to eat first, but Chat's already waiting.”

Tikki followed Marinette down the stairs; there was no one around, and down the hallway, Marinette saw an unusual sight: her parents’ bedroom door was shut. A strip of light leaked out onto the carpet below.

“Are you okay?” Tikki whispered as Marinette glanced around the kitchen. She grabbed a banana and started peeling, though it was made harder because her hands were shaking. Tikki helped.

“I don't have time to know if I'm okay right now,” Marinette said, taking a bite. “We’we wade fow padrow.”

Tikki gave her a wordless look of concern that said more than she could have voiced, but simply touched her arm reassuringly before soaring off in search of a cracker or two.

Marinette swallowed hard and tossed the banana peel towards the trash can. Tikki caught it before it hit the ground and threw it out, wiping her paws on the back of Marinette's jacket as she hitched a ride back upstairs. One trapdoor shut, another one opened, and Marinette transformed in a flash of pink light. Instantly, she felt a little better, and running across rooftops, breathing in the twilight air, helped calm her mind.

She skidded to a stop at the usual patrol meeting spot, though of course Chat was no longer there. They usually waited five minutes for the other, then started on their own. Ladybug picked up on her route, zipping through it faster than was probably wise to meet Chat at the halfway point.

Apparently he'd had a similar idea in mind, because she arrived he was already pacing nervously. He looked up when her feet hit the rooftop. “Sorry I was late,” he blurted.

“Don't worry about it,” she replied with a tired smile. “I was later.”

“Oh.” He approached cautiously, seeing something fragile in her expression. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course,” she lied. “I just fell asleep. Is everything all right with you?”

He twisted his hands together. “Yeah, yeah, everything's good. It's just--I don't really know how to say this, but… I have to go away for a week. Next week, in fact.”

“Oh.” She was about to tell him that she needed to tell him the same, but he kept going. She heard little of what he said, because the realization that Paris would be without both its heroes for a week hit her hard and she struggled for breath. A thousand images flashed through her head; of Paris, burning, and all its citizens under Hawk Moth’s thrall. Of returning to find a thousand built-up pleas for help, of everyone thinking their heroes had abandoned them.

“Yeah. And that's not all,” he continued, unaware. “Or, that's not the worst. Um, my friend told me that she knows. That I'm Chat Noir. I just found out yesterday. So I, um, talked it over with my kwami, and we decided… I asked her, and she's going to fill in for me. As Chat.”

“Is there any way you could-- wait, what?” Ladybug snapped back into focus to register the tail end of his statement. “You're giving someone your miraculous so they can fill in while you're not here?”

Chat nodded nervously. “Yeah. She's a friend, if that helps. And it's only for a week, I promise. Please don't be mad?”

“I--no, of course not,” she replied in a daze. “That's a genius idea, chaton!”

He blinked. “Well, alright. You're taking this better than expected. I told her I'd ask if you wouldn't mind staying a bit longer her first patrol, assuming you don't see each other for an emergency before then. Just so she can get some practice with my baton and everything.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Ladybug said.

Chat suddenly seemed to notice the distant look on her face. “Seriously, Buginette, is everything all right?”

In gazing off into the distance, perhaps, she forgot to blink, and a tear rolled down her face. Ladybug swiped at it with the heel of her hand, but that one tear had opened the floodgates and, to her horror, her “Yeah,” came out feeble and unconvincing. She tried to say more, but the words stuck fast in her throat, and she suddenly found herself sobbing. Chat drew nearer and placed his hands on her shoulders, but she pulled him in closer for a hug, hiding her face in his neck.

“Hey,” he breathed. “It's okay. You can tell me.” His hands wrapped gently around her back and he pressed a soft kiss into her hair.

They stood there for a few more minutes before she drew back, embarrassed, and wiped her eyes. “I-I'm sorry,” she stammered. “It's just--I just found out a family member died. I… I didn't mean to…” She trailed off and turned away, but Chat grabbed her elbows firmly and held her in place. She looked at the ground as he addressed her.

“It's okay,” he insisted. He wanted to say more, but knew he shouldn't press. “Don't apologize, my lady. I'm here for you.”

Ladybug looked up and was touched by the earnest look of concern on his face. She pulled him into another hug, softer, less desperate and considerably drier than the last, though she could still feel the dampness on his suit when she pressed her face into his neck. “Thank you, Chat,” she whispered.

She drew back. “Alright, come on, we should hurry up so we can get back home,” she said. “We've wasted enough time already. Race you?”

Chat reached back and flicked out his baton. “Ready when you are,” he grinned, grateful to see her smiling back.

A few mornings later, Tikki and Marinette exchanged a tearful goodbye, and that evening, when Alya overturned her schoolbag onto her bed, a worn wooden box tumbled off her blankets onto the floor. Curious, she picked it up, examining the antique carvings on the lid. What was that, Chinese?

She opened it, and was nearly blinding by a growing ball of light. The box bounced back onto the bed as her hands came up to shield her eyes from the glow, and from the light flew a little red bug.

“Hello, Alya,” said the bug.

“Um. What?” said Alya.

“I’m Tikki,” the little being continued. “I’m Ladybug’s kwami. And, for the next week, I’m yours, too.”

“What does that mean?” Alya asked nervously. There was no way… Could it be?

“You’ve been chosen,” Tikki said patiently. “Ladybug needed to go away for a while, and she picked you to help Paris while she’s gone.”

It could indeed.

“No…” Alya whispered in astonishment, a growing grin on her face.

“Yeah!” Tikki smiled back at her. It was nice, after so long, to be able to actually talk to Alya. Tikki had always admired her enthusiasm.

The little kwami settled on Alya’s books as Alya put on the earrings, turning her head to admire the view in the mirror.

“Chat Noir is waiting for you,” Tikki began. “So you can get a feel for your powers and get some practice in before you have to do anything. But first, I should tell you a few things.”

“I already know all about Ladybug’s powers,” Alya said flippantly, still gazing at her reflection. “It’s on my blog.”

“Oh. Are you sure? Maybe it’s best to--”

Alya spun around on her heel. “How do I get the suit on?” she asked. She made a variety of impressive poses, flexing her wrists like Spider-Man and stretching down to do a few squats.

Tikki giggled. “You just say, ‘Transform me.’”

“Transform me!” Alya repeated, watching in cross-eyed awe as Tikki zoomed towards her. A second later, the suit blossomed across her skin, and she gasped.

“This is so cool,” she gushed, bringing her arms up and examining them. She flexed her fingers experimentally and twirled in a circle, feeling a rush of excitement. She turned back to the mirror and her jaw fell.

She looked awesome.

Her mouth took on a determined smirk and she winked at her reflection. “Let’s go.”

#miraculous ladybug #ml #chloyla #ladybug!alya #chat!chloe #chickenscratch