#i cant bear to open the old cameos in my phone bc it just makes me miss stsc more

[frecklystars]

when i am in the most horrible awful suicidal state of mind, i notice i gravitate towards megatron. without any catch... its just... fluffy. hugs. cuddling. kissing. i dont know why it always ends up like that but it does. and it makes me kind of panic bc i know once i reach this point it means im in trouble and im worried i wont get better

anyway i want him to hug me and tell me how resilient i am :’(

#idk what im holding on for at this point im just so fucking depressed and hopeless #like. there is no point. i will never make enough money to survive #i do not find joy in anything anymore even if i had money to pay for it #im going to see the jbwkz in september but i dont even want ot live that long #i have a ben platt concert in october but i dont think i will enjoy it #im so numb to everything around me #the only thing that made me Feel was cameo but i cant. i cant have that anymore #i cant bear to open the old cameos in my phone bc it just makes me miss stsc more #what is the point. everything revolves around money that i cannot make. #everything costs too much and i am not even getting paid this week despite working so many hours #i dont sleep i barely eat i cant function like a person #im already so dead inside i dont want to keep doing this anymore