#im already so dead inside i dont want to keep doing this anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vampzzi · 10 months

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Hii you can do a Hobie x reader with daddy issues problems, maybe like reader's father dont like Hobie i love the idea if you can i will be so happy xoxo😺

cw : arguing, fighting, daddy issues , Hobie almost gets arrested

authors note : as someone with daddy issues, I’d love to complete this request.

It was a tense Wednesday night as you and your dad sat on the couch. Hobie sound asleep in your bed as your dad spoke first “I don’t like him, he seems like bad news” you scuff and cross your arms “and when have you ever liked anyone I date.” His eyes boring into yours with that same look of disappointment and irritation, that same face you hated seeing. “He seems like a junkie, I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“You never let me have anything good in life, it’s always your way”

“It’s for the best, I want what’s best for you”

“Then why can’t I be happy with him”

“Cause I just can’t approve of it.”

“You’ll understand when you’re ol-“ you cut him off with a sharp response “I’m older now dad, I’m not your little girl anymore. Im a full grown woman who is compatible of getting a car, having a license and going to work just like every other adult in this harsh world.” You’re cutting him off again before he can speak “you HAVE to stop babying me and you want what’s best for me. At least stop doing that.”

“You live under MY roof, not to mention I’m your father. You may be older but whatever i say goes when you live here.” What the fuck was he getting mad because you spoke out your truth, your fist balled in your lap as you chewed at your lip to ease your own anger, trying to keep yourself calm.

“I literally help around here with things, why can’t I just live my life?! you keeping saying it’s for the “better” but it’s not. You’re just controlling and want to push your definition of better onto me” your tone is harsh and your own voice is louder in volume, knowing you shouldn’t raise your voice at him cause of how he’ll spams out about it but he’s already three steps ahead of you.

“Don’t use that tone with me.”

“ I talk however I want cause I’m not a little girl.”

“Have some respect for your father”

“I will when you respect me.”

Up and off the couch as you’re walking away from him, he’s telling you to come back and sit down cause he’s not finished but you’re drowning him out. You don’t have the patience nor time for him anymore. It’s been far too long to deal with him as you’re opening your bedroom to reveal sleeping Hobie as you close the door quietly.

That was the first occurrence about Hobie.

Today is Thursday and you’re getting off your small little job that’s not the greatest but gets the bills paid and food in the house. You’re unlocking the door to see your boyfriend and your father, your father has your hands all over your boyfriend as Hobie is trying to not to put his hands on him for your sake. “You don’t deserve my daughter, you’re not good.” He’s yelling at Hobie as he pulls him and Hobie crashes into a wall and you’re quick to run over and grab your fathers arm as he’s trying to push further with Hobie.

“Stop this”

“Get your hands off me and stay in your place little girl”

He grabs your wrist as he holds onto it tightly as he’s tossing you on the couch as you clench your wrist. It aches and Hobie is quick to react when he hears your cry and he’s all up in your fathers space “Puttin' yor hands on yor daughter? that’s wild” his accent thick as your father tries to put his hands on Hobie again and he’s grabbing his hand. “Get the fuck out before I call the cops on you.”

Your dad is dead serious and you can tell and you just whimper while you hold your wrist. “gladly” Hobie is assisting you by your side as he sees that your wrist is bruising. “We’ll get you some ice when we get to my place” Hobie is assisting you as he’s grabbing your keys and wrapping his arm around you as you two walk out the door.

When you guys get to his little place, he’s opening the door inside and motioning you to sit as he’s fetching you some ice for your wrist. His place is small but cozy and you could get use to waking up here with him, you were disappointed in your dad and thought he’d change but you were proven wrong again. “Sorry you 'ave a dad like that” he’s sitting down next to you handing you an ice pack as you place it on your wrist letting your head fall on his shoulder.

“It’s fine Hobie, I’m just glad I’m with you now”

“glad to be with you too luv”

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marketa · 9 months

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i could have never imagined that a heartbreak would hit me this fucking hard like its been over a month now since my bf broke up with me and he refuses to let me talk to him properly and i tried so fucking hard to do everything i can to distract myself from all of the thoughts of him but it’s so fucking difficult and it’s just impossible to occupy my mind with anything else 24/7 like of course i wont be able to focus on all the boring podcasts and tiktoks to make me momentarily forget about the fact that the only person i ever really loved just suddenly stopped loving me back without a reason and i just dont know what to do anymore i feel extremely exhausted and dead inside and i want to scream and disappear and i wanna forget about everything and i just cant do this but i also cant really tell anyone bc my parents are already worrying enough and my friends would keep telling me how i’ll find someone better and that he was an asshole like i KNOW but hearing that doesnt make me feel any better and i just wanna see him and properly talk to him and i just dont know what id do if he never looks back and never speaks to me again i dont wanna lose him i cant lose him i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do im so tired and done with everything and i just cant do this

#negative #and also everyone saying itll get better… im not an idiot i know it will bc everything does but i dont see this becoming any better in the #next months or maybe ever years and im already done after a month i dont wanna go through this for any longer #i keep telling myself it could get better once i go back to uni bc we’re studying the same major and we’ll probably #have at least two same classes and our major has like 10 people so he wont be able to ignore me #and i keep telling myself that once he sees me he might change his mind and agree to a proper talk with me #but i still just can’t wait another month and a half to see him to maybe feel a tiny bit better #i feel worse every single fucking day

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pezpenser205 · 5 months

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i wish i were born male so fucking bad. i cannot properly convey the envy i feel towards people who were born in the body i want. it makes me violent. i feel it in every cell of my body every time i move. my skin is on fire and my teeth and tongue are too big for my mouth. theres a pressure inside my skull thats just soft enough not to crack it open but intense enough to be unbearable. all of my skin and fat feels like its slowly falling off and it feels like theres a rope wrapped around the small part of my waist and being pulled enough at both ends for me to feel like im going to vomit but stopping just shy of breaking my spine. the words "anger," "envy," or "dysphoria" arent even strong enough words to explain the kind of emotion i feel wrapped around my bones and running in my blood when i remember that my body is completely out of my control. i would kill somebody to get the body i want. if it took me tearing a family member apart while they were awake for me to get it, i already have one picked out. i am full of so much resentment and anger for the flesh and sex i was born into and if there is a god i despise him for what hes done to me. if there is a god i fantasize about tearing open and crawling into his ribcage to replace him. the only reason i keep going is because if i die that means every time ive tried to die and survived has meant nothing, and everybody who never gave a shit about me was right. if i even ever end up happy i dont even know what ill do. i dont know what to do with my life. i planned to already be dead right now. the only hope i have in my heart is that some day in the future ill have enough control over how people perceive me to not be seen as a me i recognize anymore.

#op #tw suicide mention #tw gore #<- idk ask to tag im not doung good tonight #tw dysphoria

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playboynanners · 8 months

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i wanna start off by telling u i am sorry!! i wanna tell u about all this crazy shit in my head, and want to open up and want to talk about my feelings but no matter what, i just cant make out the right words...? like it feels like cant properly put my thoughts and emotions into words i guess??

all i want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out because its killing me inside. i cant take it anymore. i feel weird. i dont want to do anything. i always feel tired. i dont have any energy. a part of me broken. something is def weighing on my heart. i just feel so fucking suffocated. i feel like i am so far behind in life that i will never catch up. everyone is doing so many things with their lives. and i am just here. i really dont think i can do this its getting dark again. and im afraid. im too tired to carry on. i want MYSELF back bro is that too much to ask for? i deffff know its getting bad because even sleep and music dont help and i feel sick all the time and i just want to disappear. i really feel like there is no happy ending for me . thats why getting through the days is hard rayen i honestly from the bottom of my heart know its all for nothing. u guys are waiting for me to get over it, to finally do something with my life, and i know u guys are getting impatient. but what u guys dont know is that im already gone. i dont like who i am. there is nothing good about me. i am sick of wasting my time. i am worn out. i so fucking tired. the anxiety consumes me at times i feel like i cant breathe i cant think straight intrusive thoughts of self distraction consume my mind i am sooo fucking sick of this version of myself!!!!! im fucking tired of the poor choices i keep making. i truly believe i have hit rock bottom. this is the humblest i have ever been because my ego has nothing to be proud of. i know i knowww it is important to be gentle with myself but its also crucial to be honest. im not taking care of myself. im doing drugs, im on social media all day. i either dont eat healthy, or i dont eat at all. i dont exercise. i watch things that arent positive and go to sleep and wake up late. i am sick to my stomach as i write this. i just want to go up from here because i cant live this way anymore. i dont wanna live this way anymore. but like if you never felt like the way i do right now... the drained , depression . WORTHLESS feeling ... then u cant say shit about me "getting better starts with yourself bs" LIKE UH ? YEAH I HATE MYSELF AND DONT GIVE A FUCKKKKK ABOUT NUN SO WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? like i honestly didnt even think i would be alive at my age i thought i wouldve been dead by 20 so u can only imagine how lost i feel lol. i dont know what to do with my life and i feel like im just wasting away most days. and i dont fucking know how to fix it. maybe this is my time for me and im supposed to be enjoying it for exactly what it is? like i dunno i just know i always fucking ruin EVERYTHINGGGG . i casually sabotage all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesnt feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring. i really want to kill whats inside of my head. i hate living like this day after day. i just want my pain to end bro . i see how everyone looks at me like i’m a burden, how they fake concern only to switch up at me the next second. i don’t want to be this way, im so lost and alone and i just don’t see the point anymore. this is the loneliest i have ever felt. i don't have a shoulder to cry on when im sad, i have got legit no one to go to. i have noooo tears left to cry dude. my heart hurts so much. my insides are burning. i dont know how to help myself. i legitimately try and i make it worse. i wanna scream all this hurt and pain out. can i just lose my memory just so i can take a break from feeling this way? im not sure how long i can handle this alone anymore all honesty .

AND i wouldnt say im "addicted" to drugs and alcohol (JUST YET lol) butttt what i hate about liking them is that once you know how that high feels and the break from reality you get from everything you will FOREVER know how good it felt and thats the problem. u can be days, months, years of being clean. but i know when you quit its gonna be hard years down the road. i would take it alllll back and not start doing any of it. it turns from "just one time trying it" to "i promise this is the last time" but all honestly i dont know how to stop or be normal in this world sober anymore.

and to sum it alllll up i just want / need someone who can hug me and tell me that im not as worthless as i think i am i feel so fucking empty sometimes and its so exhausting to feel nothing and everything at the same time.

#tw depressing thoughts #@hate myself #journal #made with tumblr #sad aesthetic #thoughts #depressing shit #love yourself #sociopath #kill me

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choclateteez · 2 years

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4town playing Poppy Playtime Chapter 2!! (Pt 1)

Robaire

Hates horror games with a PASSION

Was only convinced to play it after repetitive begging by Tae and T

He hates spiders so Mommy Long Legs was already on his bad side from the START

He thought Poppy was adorable though

"guys, shes helping me :o"

He actually enjoys learning more about the lore rather than the gameplay

He sing-narrates. For sure.

Lots of cursing. Lots of it. He tries to keep it at a minimum especially if he's streaming or else management will be on his ass about it, but ITS TOO SCARY

"SHESRIGHTBEHINDMEOHFUCKOHFUCK"

Keep in mind, his fans clip the fuck out of these streams because they get to hear him scream mommy all the time💀

"MOMMY, I DONT WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE OH MY LORD"

Hes pretty good at the puzzles. It takes him a few minutes to get the gist and he's already on to the next thing

The first minigame messed him up in the head. The sound of the cymbals coming down makes him get the pattern wrong and it starts a chain reaction

"Okok, blue, green, orange..blu-NONONO SHIT"

"J???? PI?????? WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS"

The second minigame wasnt too hard for him actually. He was dead silent the whole way through for this one

The last minigame had him anxious asf. He just hears that disgusting caterpillars legs crawling after him, and he wanted to bang his head on the table every time the lights turned on

The chase scene? No. Absolutely not.

"Its called hide...AND...SEEK!!!!" "uuuh okay?" "One. Two." "OH I NEED TO GO!! I GOTTA GO"

"those noises are DISTURBING"

The furnace thing confused him. He thought his chat was trying to troll him and he actually paused the game to talk about it

"Surely im not supposed to hide in there??? You guys are- ok let me pause this. If i were in this situation guys, the LAST PLACE i would even THINK to hide would be a FURNACE. Where is the logic in this???? Nonono im not hearing you out"

That one last scene where the door is opening slowly had him internally seizing

"Is she- IS SHE GALLOPING!?!?! This door better open or SO HELP ME GOD"

Mommys death scene actually really disturbed him. Not because he felt bad for her, but her screams and the splatter of blood was a tad too gruesome for comfort. He stayed there gaping for a good second

He expected the ending a mile away

Aaron Z

He's a pretty stoic gamer (think penguinz0) but things do get to him if theyre scary enough

He's listened to Tae and T rant about it, so hes pretty informed about the context of the game

When he does get jumpscared, its more of a delayed reaction. Hed stare at the screen for a second, put a hand on his chest and mutter "Jesus..."

He didnt trust Poppy at ALL

"Dolls arent supposed to talk, sooooo im calling it, shes evil"

"Bro, i dont need your help, whats crawling through the vents gonna do?? Go away, this aint fnaf, tf"

He hums a lot during gameplay, and it gets louder during scary moments

"Hmmm~...HMMMMMMMM🏃🏾💨"

The first mini game, mans was FOCUSED

He lowered the volume and focused on the patterns

Chat called him a cheater to which he replied "think smarter, not harder"

T walks in on his lives all the time. Its like. He gets a sense the moment he clicks on his cam

"T, get out, im focusing" "I didnt even say anything🕴"

2nd minigame still didnt phase him too bad

The 3rd one though!???!

THE ANXIETY

He couldnt for the life of him stand the sound of the thing following him

He got stuck in the foam pit and he just heard it coming towards him, and he actually stood up and walked away from the monitor every time the lights turned on

All with a straight face😭

He had a hard time figuring out where to go once he got to the end

"Where do i go? Chat where???...chat hes getting closer to me, and I DONT- i dont know where to go, im going to fucking die. Up?? Up where- Ooooooooooh..."

He handled the chase scene well externally. Inside though, he was actually ending it all

The death scene disnt bother him to much, but he still didnt like it

When poppy changes the trains course "SEE? WHATD I TELL YALL? WHAT. DID I. TELL. YALL.

This is the end of my first tumblr work lol! Pls be nice. More parts coming another time!

#4town #4town robaire #4townaaronz #poppy playtime

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glxtchkitten · 2 years

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NSFW fantasy - writing out a dream

once again i was napping on the couch, my dreams taking a sudden turn into being touched, my hips being grabbed and the hands working their way to crush my waist in their grip, pulling me down until I was being kissed, the dream becoming lighter as im waking up to realize it's real, im currently underneath my roomate who's crushing his lips to mine, stuck under his huge frame, his hands squeezing me and pulling me further underneath him. i don't stop it even with waking up, instead moving my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. As his body dips down he starts to move lower, kissing where my breasts pop out of the top of my tank, pulling up my shirt to kiss down my stomach and then his hands suddenly are roughly tugging on my jeans, impatiently ripping the button open and yanking down both my pants and underwear in one go. He makes his way up the insides of my thighs, biting and kissing, low chuckles and growls after every 'eep' that comes out with the biting. He dives into my pussy and all the sudden I'm mewling instead, grabbing his hair and his hands, his wrists already scratched up from the last time he had fingered me. His hands start to creep higher until he was tickling me, making me squirm from laughter and moaning loudly on his tongue while his eye was trained on me, giving me the sexiest glare while his mouth was still firmly attached to my pussy. At this point the wriggles are me trying to escape, he's been giving his attention to other girls, i don't want this anymore but there's no escape for me, his hands pulling me back down every time i squirm too far. it's obvious im not going to be able to break free but now i push at his head, desperately trying to detach but then the wave comes over me and i arch my back almost obscenely and cum onto his tongue. He licks me clean and then comes to kiss me again, now fighting to keep me here as im trying to get away. He grabs both of my wrists and puts them easily in one hand, undoing his belt and pants with his other hand, im full on telling him to stop now but his only responses are growls, ignoring my pleading.

"my testosterone is finally back from the show, and as you know i havent been making any sexual progress with her, you're going to get fucked by me, do you understand?" i shake my head no, "i dont want this, you chose her i dont want you anymore!"

"is that why you still masturbate to me? hmm? when you think no one's home but oh I heard you. you probably still look at allll the naughty pictures I sent you don't you, even though you made me delete all of yours. You're an unfair little whore" and with that his cock is finding my entrance and as he pushes in he let's out the scariest snarl ive ever heard rip from his mouth. He looks into my eyes, touching our foreheads together, "I've missed this"

"you've just missed pussy! this is unfair, im trying to get over you" im still squirming, fully upset now even with such a beautiful cock inside me making me already half brain dead, but i refuse to make him think i want this. He rolls his eyes, "and you think i dont want to be over you? Shut up and take it, i never said you're getting this again" and with that he starts ramming me so good and hard it brings tears to my eyes...

and then i actually woke up 💀

#original #tease #smut

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thesugarhole · 1 year

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ok now i have 20mins free before work starts so im going to keep chipping away at romac

pineapples chapter is actually the "today i found a geiger counter in the wasteland - no more radioactive soup for me!" chapter..? i think i remember that one being just the hot stuff joke, not an actual expose on the pineapple bomb that exploded in pilots face, but i could be wrong on this one. or maybe it was mashed together to make use of the geiger counter

its opportune to make that giant green field orb thing the pineapple after effects though so no complaints here. yet.

yes yes we've all seen hot stuff captain. moving on

WHY IS THE FUCKING PINEAPPLE CONNECTED TO THE WIFI COME ON MAN THERE HAS TO BE A LIMIT

its like that pôr do sol joke where the guy negotiated with the workers to end their strike by 'installing wifi in every single cherry' on their cherry farms

surely thats not snippys sleeve... theyre both black for a solid stretch.

is whoever planted this one actually known or are we to suspect snippy Forever? from past information that might not even be true anymore, of course

If the User does not eat this fruit, I will automatically convert it into energy upon expiry date (to provide power to my kitchen friends).

(...)

User set temporal watch to count backwards. Watches are supposed to count forwards, not backwards. You cannot send fruits to your past-self, silly User. User synchronized temporal watch to pineapple expiry time. User changed parameters of my fruit-to-energy conversion program.

so thats how it works huh. infi has said previously the explosion only goes the way they want to if the watches are inside fruits, and i guess it has to do with some futuristic nonsense (as futuristic as this all is) about them auto disappearing once they cant be eaten anymore

DEX-M unit 966912 came to the mini-van. He sounds nice.

He looks great. Sometimes I dream of having such luxurious blonde hair.

DEX 966912 loses his beautiful face. How unfortunate.

stoooooooooop this is embarrassing me. like its true pilot is very nice and very handsome but come on pineapple those are your dying thought- THE PINEAPPLE IS ALIVE WITHIN THE GREEN THING I KNEW IT

whyyyy are you alive. why are you talking in the first place. this future is terrifying to me i dont want my food to talk to me about how it must be eaten what is this a fucking "oooh you gotta water me you gotta use your pee" world?

It smells wonderfully, so fresh, so full of life. I read its label. The label tells me its title and fruit type [CHARLES SNIPPY: DEAD ZONE TOUR GUIDE] It is not yet expired. Good. But I can already see its expiry date closing in. Bad. It will expire prematurely, if it does not make true friends soon.

wasnt snippy. the pineapple would probably recognize it as its previous user. yay!

incidentally where DID i get snippy did it from. am i misremembering something because im positive he was blamed for this bomb specifically at some point

lol at the pineapple being angry he didnt so much as approach the creepy green field thing come on. give the guy some credit you think he would just walk inside it to see whats up even if its technically not radioactive? like sorry this happened to you but also you did blow up pilots face so. stay there. with your horrible future man made consciousness.

#sugar.txt #reading romac

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greencurlyhair · 1 year

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the problem is that im really tired. Vacations are coming, and that means no ff updates, no sutdying, and many stuff that kept me going so far since my last breakdown.

I have to fix half my apartment, with which money? idk, but is my priority. I need my computer, it was one of the few things that helped me.

The bad thing is... having to be 24/7 with my gf, which is what i do every day, with the exception of being sorrounded by other people and being busy all the time. Sadly, with vacations nearing, we'll have to actually spend time together and i cant take it anymore.

I find myself daydreaming about other women that exist and others that dont, some are fictional and others are just a personification of what i need. I want to feel loved, i want romance again.

I want to feel this ache when someone looks at me with desire or love. I cant stand her eyes anymore, i see her guilt. I see how she doesnt feel anything but friendship or motherly love.

Is the only way we interact nowadays. She as my mommy and me as her baby. Is wonderful to have someone to care int that way, but is only in that way...and my grown up part is frustasted 24/7.

I need adult interaction sometimes. And i just got accostumed of what she wants to give me, but actually, my little self doesnt feels that okey with her. She wants to do many more stuff but everything just stays the same even in that matter:

Telling her something i want to eat, but buying with my money

Watching something while milking

Sleeping

And thats it. My little self sometimes gets bored and wants to actually act as how we would, and we inmediatly feel ashamed, ignored or too nosy to handle. We cant rrally voice our needs: i want a bottle, i want you to pet me and not just to helps you sleep, i wsnt to cook together as mommy and little and not just as me being an adult a doing everything, i want you to bath with me or dress me up, i want you to do so many more... but we got tired.

I need you to finish uni to get a damn job, find your independence and finally realizing that you dont love any more.

I feel as if my weight is the problem... well, im in shape now.

I feel as if it is my long hair now... and that maybe you prefered me with a more masc aesthetic.

I feel as if you just want me for the money or accomodation

i dont know if i loce you anymore or if i want to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesnt makes me feel anything. I feel dead inside, i want to cry all the time and have been feeling less and less horny.

Well, congrats, we are now on the same level and i wish luck when you get back your sex drive because it would take you twice to get mine. And i know you wont be as patience as me.

Youll feel twice as unworthy, youll get jealous about everything, youll get frustated, you wont feel loved or desired, and mostly, your self confidence will shatter.

Im not wishing anything of it, but part of me is always wondering how things would be if things where the other way around.

I bet i would be guilty all the time, because it iis my fault that you feel like shit, and i cant do anything but hey, ill do other stuff.

I wish you would do other stuff as i would. Because i do, every day. I provide us of food, keep the whose tidy and clean, our cloth, and a bunch of stuff. If it werent for you, we would eat more late i guess, but if it werent for me..... well, you already know when i get sick how the house gets, or when i have to study or do a lot of homework.

But do you care.

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vaas · 2 years

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i wanna give my fallout ocs cybernetics...

liu is just out immediately on the whole super mutant grounds thing but shes already had major surgery multiple times before/during very early transformation anyways it balances. and im not saying that because shes a super mutant she Cant have cybernetics cus in fallout 1 at least surgical alterations/reconstruction is clearly a significant part of the super mutant transformation its cus shes a halfsie whos neither a full mutant nor a human anymore and her body doesnt handle people poking around in it Well it doesnt like it even when the people are supposed to know what theyre doing. like you can know what to do with human organs and have to deal with her super mutant Bits and you can know what to do with super mutant bits but not human ones or you can know what to do with both but nor when theyre trapped in a transitional period where neither fully applies and her endocrine and immune systems are all over the fucking place

coeur meanwhile is a true dedicated wildcard forever and always i have no idea what mods she would give herself barring prostheses which i have never thought about in regards to her. but it would kind of make sense shes been a courier since she was 16 shes seen some action. maybe sensory reconstruction. partial deafness/blindness/lack of tactile sensation in individual fingers that had to be replaced or augmented. like she doesnt have a robotic Eye but she might have a robotic optic nerve. cochlear implant. and then the implants that the new vegas medical clinic offers like the regeneration and damage resistance. after old world blues shed take her organs back but then they still have mechanical Bits in them. shes like a secret cyborg its all hidden under her skin or at the edge of her hands

cassie would go hog fucking wild if the opportunity presented itself but theres like no opportunity in the capitol wasteland. but shed take whatever gives her in-universe special stat boosts. like if theres biomech implants that can make her more agile or perceptive or enduring or strong shes gonna take em. the nv med clinic implants would be big hits with her but they dont seem to exist on the east coast which sucks. but post purity shes a wanderer who mains a sword with a backup pistol and light armour for maximum maneuverability shes gonna take some damage. its possible she loses and has to replace body parts but im not sure which ones. but either way shed want cool shit like heat vision through walls or secret arm swords or shockwave punching so bad shed be a great cyborg

cassiopeia grabs everything the institute hasnt nailed down including kellogs old augments and grabs whatever unethical surgeons the commonwealth sends her way into jury rigging that shit into her nervous system like immediately. physically shes whole but on the inside especially within the brain it is very mechanical. she has an autostim injector and a pain dampener and something that ups her reaction speed and improves her balance and reduces her radiation damage. theres a layer of ballistic mesh underneath her top layer of skin that looks like metallic scales in high contrast artificial lighting. her eyes have a hud and the pipboy is permanently attached to her wrist after its been wired into her blood stream and bone marrow and central nervous system. her whole body is functionally a dead mans trigger that will explode if she dies in a violent manner and she has a secondary power system running through her heart, brain and digestive system keeping it all running that requires around 3500+ calories a day to function but she can go without sleep for weeks. she has more in common with 1st and 2nd generation synths than 3rd

#.txt #ocs #long post #i never learned how to add readmores on mobile. kiss me

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officalaizawa003 · 2 years

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First kiss (ft. Young erasermic/oboro still alive au) Warning: ART DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! Inspired by a comic made by I<3IBLITZ

"'Being in love with shouta is so tough, Oboro! I dont know what to do! I mean I thought he was in love with you but then you said you were straight and now is my chance but-" My rambling was cut short by Oboro placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Hey man! Dont worry. You know you dont HAVE to go tell him now. Maybe when he's...ya know...in his school uniform. Nemuri was just teasing you. I know better then anyone that Nemuri isnt going to say anything to him. Dont sweat it okay. Maybe another day. C'mon, Nem's probably waiting for us on the roof."

He was right...I knew he was...I smiled at him. Then I brought my attention back to the window. Aizawa was outside training again. Even though it was lunchtime and he shouldve be up on the rooftop with us. I took Oboro's hand off my shoulder and ran out onto the field. When I got to Aizawa, I grabbed him by his hands.

Aizawa: Hizashi, before you ask, No, I am not going to the roof to the eat with you guys, yes Ive already eaten, and-

Me: No...thats not what I was asking! I came to tell you something that..Ive felt for a long time.

Aizawa raised an eyebrow at Me.

Me: I..Im in love with you..Shouta.

Aizawa starred into his eyes before pulling his hands away: Oh yeah? Prove it.

Aizawa picked back up his scarf before I turned him back around again. I smiled nervously as I lifted up his chin and gently led his lips to mine. We kissed. As his lips pressed up against mine, I could feel my heart about to come out of my chest. He seemed to relax as he placed his hands on my wrists softly. I got nervous at this. I thought he was trying to tell me to stop. So I opened my eyes and softly departed our lips. He looked at me and I looked at him. He pushed me away and whispered, " You idiot..". I felt my heart drop. I shouldve known...I turned around and starting running to get inside again, trying not to cry.

Suddenly I feel something on my elbows. I start getting pulled backwards and Im being wrapped up in something up to my chest. Soon enough, Im face to face with shouta again. Shouta's checks are bright pink and he looks calm.

I tried to keep it together, " Im sorry for kissing you...I hope this doesnt ruin our friendship..

Aizawa looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Oh, it did. In fact, it destroyed it.~"

I think thats when I finally couldnt hold it together. Tears were starting to form in my eyes quickly. I tried to struggle out of Aizawa's scarf before I started crying but he had a tight grip on me. A tear or two escaped my eyes

"I dont want anything to do with our friendship anymore. I think...I think I might be in love with you."

"...W-what? But arent you mad?"

"Yeah, Im mad..." we were so close at that point that are lips almost brushed together, " Im mad that you stopped kissing me." This time, he kissed me.

He kissed me much harder then I did to him. But its okay, because god, I enjoyed it. As I closed my eyes, I could feel his scarf slowly coming off of my body and dropping to the floor. Aizawa led my hands to his waist and left them there for me to hold. Soon enough, we were slowly making out.

The world around us didnt matter...until the bell rang. I heard a teacher yell at us and we opened our eyes. Turns out, Midnight screwed up and accidently screamed, 'OMG THERE KISSING' while she was watching them from the window. One by one, people came out and took pictures and awed and booed and made fun of them. Finally the teachers caught on and were NOT happy. We both got afterschool detention. And the whole time we just eyed each other's lips. We both had fallen madly in love with each other that day. The moment we walked out of UA that day, we kissed again.

All we wanted was each other. And thats how I knew your dad was the one, Eri. Oh dont worry. You'll meet someone when your older. What? No if you date that Kota kid I will murder him-"

THE END!

Also here is the comic I got the inspo for this from!

@sara576sf

#bnha eri #aizawa shouta #erasermic #yamada hizashi #eraserhead #present mic #bhna #mha #anime #boku no hero academia #midnight mha #young nemuri #young present mic #young oboro #young aizawa #UA #ua students #ua academy #love

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miraeluc · 3 years

Text

you’re suffering alone

prompt: “kageyama knows you as his little ray of sunshine, but what does he do when he finds out how you really feel?”

pairing: kageyama x female! reader

word count: 3k

warnings: MAJOR tw!!! depression, again major tw self harm, reader cries a lot when kageyama finds out, reader’s mom is dead lol i went all out

genre: fluff, angst

you were always their little ray of sunshine

when you first joined the school a year ago and introduced yourself all excitedly

hinata ran to tanaka after that class

“we need to convince her to be our manager!!!!”

tanaka was down lol

it didn’t take long to convince you, you were looking for extracurricular activities to engage in anyway

the conversation went a bit like this

“y/n-san! do you want to be karasuno’s volleyball team manager?”

“sure!”

“we swear it- did you just say yes?”

“...yes”

cue tanaka and hinata screaming

after you became their manager it didn’t take you and kageyama too long to fall in love either

he adored the good vibes you brought with in any room you stepped in and you enjoyed the calmness that came with him (except when hinata’s around to annoy him, pretty boy radiates ᵃⁿᵍʸ energy then lol)

poor boy didn’t know that what he felt towards you until he had the whole team screaming at him to ask you out

so he did

and so you ended up here, 10 months into dating kageyama and 12 months into being karasuno’s manager along with kiyoko and hitoka

everyone found it a little weird that you were always the one to stay the longest out of everyone, but everyone assumed it was just because you genuinely enjoyed being there

which you did, don’t get me wrong

that just wasn’t the only reason.

no one actually knew why you had changed schools in the middle of the year

every time someone asked you pushed it off, claiming your old school just wasn’t working out and started babbling about how much you love being at this school and how glad you are to have found real friends like them

“time for a break, i brought food!!”

you held the bags of food up, getting tackled in a gross sweaty hug by nishinoya

“it’s like you heard my stomach calling out for you, y/n!!! you’re my saviour!!!”

you immediately laughed

“i know, noya, now get off, you’re sweaty” you cringed a little and he got off, a little offended but he quickly forgot about it and snatched the bags

you were all sat on the ground, everyone eating quietly when hinata started complaining about his mother nagging him to focus a little more on studying

that’s how everyone started talking about their mothers, somehow everyone having a little to complain about

“what ‘bout you, y/n? you have nothing to remark about your mom like our little crybabies here?” daichi looked at you

everyone whined at that,, “we’re not babies!!”

you tensed up at the question before relaxing and smiling

“nope! my mom is perfect.” you giggled

“woah, i wish!! you need to introduce me to your mom, y/n!!”

noya was very invested in your mom being perfect, lol

you see

kageyama here is very observant, whether it be on the court or just, well, people in general

he saw you tense up for that split-second, not pressing it further

he knows you most likely aren’t ready to talk about it

now that he thinks about it, you never talk about your family

he’d love to know but he understands that you’ll come to him when you’re ready to tell him and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by nagging you about it

“i’ll introduce you to her, noya” you giggled

his face lit up and he nodded before the topic changed again and you could now also speak to them about how annoying and hard math class is

fr tho i hate math

after they were done eating no one could move anymore, let alone practice

hinata tried

keyword tried

he threw up....

no one else even wanted to practice after that - opting to clean up and end practice for today instead

“kageyama, ill head out a bit early today, i’ve got some stuff to do” you said

you startled the shit out of him because he was just bringing the last volleyball to the cart

“HO- oh.” he stopped himself from screaming and turned to you

“alright, just take care..” he mumbled, ruffling your hair which made you whine and fix it

you hate when he does that

he thinks your reaction is adorable

you scoffed and pulled him down to your height to plant a little kiss on his cheek

he blushed, pda isnt for him

you loved his soft side so much

nonetheless he smiled at you and straightened up again

“call me if anything happens” he cleared his throat

baby was a little awkward with stuff like this

you didn’t mind though

you nodded and smiled “will do!”

and off you were lol

hinata then popped up infront of kageyama

“what’d you do to her!?!?!?! she never leaves early!!!!!!!”

kageyama pushed him away by the head

“she just has stuff to do, shut up.”

“hey, mom..” you smiled lightly as you sat down

“nishinoya is really looking forward to meeting you! the whole team asked about you today.. today was an ok day, i was pretty distracted all day so i didn’t have the time to feel sad again.”

...

you sighed

“but, you know, it’s been getting harder lately. it seems that getting out of bed to get to school is getting harder.. i love making everyone happy, but it’s hard being the provider and never getting something in return. sometimes, when things get hard, i just want to drop everything. i want to stop acting so bubbly and happy, but i know you wouldn’t want me to lose my smile.”

you stood up

“i’ll get going then, i love you.”

you placed the flowers down on the grave before you, staring down at it with a sad smile before making your way home, yet again

the next day you showed up to school as you usually did, taking your seat next to kageyama after greeting him like usual

you were having a conversation with hinata

it was too early for kageyama to speak

everyone was confused when you didn’t show up to practice that day

kags(｡◝‿◜｡) , 2:47pm: are you not coming to practice?

y/n, 2:49pm: no baby, i’m sorry :( i really can’t tODAY, im so upset over it

kags(｡◝‿◜｡), 2:50pm: did something happen?

kags(｡◝‿◜｡), 2:53pm: y/n?

y/n, 3.26pm: nope, i just have some stuff to do at home (╥﹏╥)

the next day you showed up like usual again, this time attending practice too

just like that the days seemed to go by in a blur for you

day by day you felt yourself breaking more

day by day the scars on your hips multiplied

and day by day it got a little harder to make the room light up when you stepped inside

it was after practice and it was only you, nishinoya and kageyama left

“hey, y/n, can i finally meet your mom today??”

he was pressing around so much about it

you smiled and shrugged,

“sure, i bet she doesn’t mind a visit”

“can i come too?” kageyama asked timidly and you nodded

“of course.. it’s about time.” you smiled

your eyes were a little glassy

he frowned

nishinoya was too busy getting excited over meeting the first ever perfect mother to notice and he began dragging you out “let’s go then!”

he was pulling you to the direction of your place before you abruptly stopped

“ah-ah, i didn’t say i still live with her, did I?”

you had both boys confused now and you started walking into the right direction

you intertwined your fingers with kageyama’s

he squeezed your hand a little

he knew you needed a little support

only did he not expect you to lead them to the cemetery

nishinoya’s smile dropped when you actually entered the cemetery

he saw it but he expected you to walk past

you stopped in front of your mothers grave

“there she is.” you let out a sigh

kageyama felt his heart drop

“wait, y/n, i’m so sorry for pressing this so mu-”

kageyama pulled you in a tight hug, shaking his head at the boy, who now went quiet

he felt so horrible

you were trying so hard to hold your tears back, looking at noya

“don’t worry, you didn’t know.”

you still smiled at him

kageyama then spoke

“it’s best if you go home, don’t you think?”

he didn’t even sound angry at this point

nishinoya nodded and left

he really felt so bad

you couldn’t hold back and broke out in tears after

this was the first time you cried in front of your boyfriend

he didn’t expect it to hurt this much

hearing your little sobs break through you

he could feel his own heart breaking as he tightened the hug

neither of you said anything

he just let you cry into his chest

he didn’t need to tell you he was there for you with words

he told you through gently patting your back as you cried

he told you through not judging you when you cried like this

even when it started raining and the rain was slowly seeping through both of your clothes he didnt loosen his grip on you

he let you finish crying

however long it took

and when you finally looked up at him, only the moon’s light illuminating your face, he felt his heart break, again, at the sight of your puffy eyes and red nose

he wanted to protect you from all bad things, forever.

“gosh, i’m sorry, it took me so long to stop crying..”

he shook his head and pecked your forehead quickly “no. you didn’t.”

“..is this why you always avoided talking about your mother?”

you nodded, looking down at her grave, the flowers you placed there two days ago already droopy

you then looked up at him again

“thank you, for.. supporting me..”

nishinoya apologised about 27 times when he saw you

you kept reassuring him that it was alright but he felt so bad

he felt so bad he couldn’t even properly play that day

daichi sent him home early

“come back when you dont have two left legs!!!”

practice ended soon after that anyway

you sat on a bench, filling out the last bits of your homework so you didnt have to do it at home, not even noticing that it was just you and kageyama left until he called out to you

“hey, y/n, mind throwing me some balls? i’m not tired yet and i want to keep practicing”

you happily helped

you admired his determination to get better daily

it was refreshing, seeing him so passionate about volleyball

how couldn’t you help when he asked like that

that’s how he was now practicing as you were talking

“can you come over tonight?”

you furrowed your brows

“but it’s a school night?”

he shrugged “i don’t care. you haven’t been at my place for three entire weeks! i only see you at school, i miss you.” he was honest

he really missed you and he wanted to know what was up with your lame excuses every time he asked

you then nodded

“alright then, i’ll come.”

whilst he was busy drinking water you tried ‘passing’ the ball (at which you horribly failed)

“look, i’m a better setter than you!”

he chased you down lol

you took him by surprise when he finally caught you, grabbing onto your hips, followed by a loud intake of breath and a wince from you

fuck

well

he obviously immediately let go

“y/n. what’s wrong?”

you sighed and turned towards him

“um.. i.. hit my hip earlier today..?” you trailed off and he immediately knew that you were lying

honestly, he kind of had an idea of what it was

he just didn’t want to think of that possibility

he might be a bit slow, but he’s not stupid

he has a slight idea why you haven’t been coming over

he notices how the circles under your eyes have gotten darker

he notices how you sleep in classes, which is something you never do

and he’s so, so worried

but he’s scared to approach you

he’s scared to confirm his worst fears

he shook his head at you “don’t lie.”

you sighed softly “kageyama, it’s nothing.”

you avoided his gaze and he shook his head again, now unable to hold back from speaking

“no, y/n. you’re not okay, i know you’re not. i know that you struggle every day and i know you don’t like speaking about it, but i just can’t keep watching you suffer in silence, i do give you your space, but not when it truly concerns your well-being to the point i cant touch you or see you as often as i’d like to!”

he stopped and took a deep breath, shaking his head

“let’s go home first, i want to talk about this in a place i can do more for you.”

you were speechless

you never had expected him to notice anything, let alone speak up about it

you were so lost in thought you let him drag you to his room quietly

you snapped back to reality when he was unlocking his door, walking inside when it was open - you following

you sat on his bed, still not knowing what to say

how the tables turn, usually its kageyama being the quiet one and you being the one to fill the silence with unnecessary babbling lol

he looked at you, uncertainty swimming in his eyes

“can i see?”

you immediately knew what he was talking about, looking down

you pondered over it a little before nodding

he crouched down before you, looking up at you

“you know you can trust me, right?”

you furrowed your brows “of course”

“you don’t need to hide your feelings from me, baby, i love you through all of your emotional states, i love seeing you happy but i like comforting you when you feel sad too, you mustn’t hide your feelings.”

your eyes filled with tears at that one sentence

i love you through all of your emotional states

“thank you..” you sniffled

“i mean it. it hurts me when you hide it, it makes me feel so helpless, i don’t want to watch you crumble before my eyes, please, talk to me..”

“i just feel so hopeless, kags.. my heart feels so dull lately.”

you finally let in

“it feels like every single day repeats itself and all of my responsibilities are so hard to fulfill..it’s so hard turning up to school, bringing positive energy with me when all i feel is my sadness taking over my entire self bit by bit.”

he was listening, now sat on the floor before you, chin resting on your knee as you spoke

“but you’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness except yours. i don’t like when you prioritise others before yourself, y/n.. i don’t say it often but you’re truly so important to me and i don’t want you to lose yourself only because you try to make others happy.. it isn’t worth it, we love you for you, i can assure you, no one from our group would judge you for feeling down, we all have bad days, gosh, we all have bad weeks or even months! hiding these feelings will only worsen your pain and lead you to.. do irrational things..” he said, fingertips tracing over your hip gently

“let me see first and then we’ll talk about how we’re fixing this, ok?”

you sniffled and nodded, letting him pull the side of your pants down enough to reveal to him what he feared most

seeing the cuts scattered on your skin broke him, truly.

he gulped and stood up, leaving to get you a pair of his shorts

“put these on, this way i can tend to them better.” he said, wanting to clean it up first before telling you his thoughts about it

you nodded and changed into the shorts, him trying not to break down there and then as he left to get some stuff

when he came back you were patiently waiting for him and let him clean the cuts with some alcohol (not without complaining at the stings) before he bandaged them up as best as he could

he then laid down and pulled you with him, hugging you

“oh my precious y/n..” he mumbled

he was hugging your head to his chest to hide the fact that he was tearing up

he wanted to help you so bad but he knew exactly that he couldn’t just end your suffering and it hurt him

“but why? why do you do that to yourself?”

his voice cracked when he asked and you looked up, realisation hitting you

you hurt him so bad by doing this.

the person you loved and cherished most

“it felt like the only escape”

he caressed the top of your head

“pressuring you into stopping won’t help and isn’t worth it, but please, when you feel like.. doing that, call me instead. i’ll be at your place in no time and- even if you don’t want to talk i can just hug you and keep you company-”

you cut him off by pressing your lips against his

“i will, baby. i’ll call you whenever i feel down from now on”

he nodded “thank you”

he was thanking you as if he wasn’t the one helping you right now

you now hugged him back, “i’m sorry for not saying earlier..”

he hummed “lets just lay here. you’ll get better, i promise.”

he kept his promise

ever since that day, he’s been calling you morning and night, making sure you felt good waking up and going to bed

he often called you through entire nights

he made you slowly start to understand that your purpose wasn’t to make anyone happy but yourself

he made you realise you were more than a mere person that’s always happy

and he made you understand that showing your feelings wasnt something to be embarrassed about

(the entire team was very supportive too when they found out you were struggling! kageyama didn’t explain the details though)

so yep.

you had kageyama and a bunch of friends that were supporting you

and for the first time, you felt hopeful for the future, your mother watching over you proudly after years of struggling and even having to move schools for a fresh start

she could now rest easily, knowing your guardian angel found his way to you and won’t ever leave you.

a/n: YALL I MADE MYSELF EMO WITH THIS ONE:( i hope you enjoyed it & please leave comments about it!

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polandspringz · 2 years

Text

gen:lock s2 ep 6 Liveblog

So, I had not been spoiled for this episode, I was scared though bc all the discussions in the spoilers channel of the server were blacked out so I was WORRIED. Warning how nonsensical my live blog is

(Starting off) I don't trust this chase

Okay already the tone of this episode is much much better

THE DELIVERY ON THAT NO

This feels like we ARE going down the path of "kill the whole team, replace them with copies"

DID THEY REALLY JUST DO THE FUCKING "LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME INNNNNNNNNNNN"

(Side bar) Also I love that whenever I watch gL HBO likes to not put it in HD so i always suffer

bc Holcroft was first a transparent hologram im always surprised by how PALE he really is- baby got those baja blast eyes

I wonder if the HBO team are trying to get through the war plot to just focus on tech

UnLock. Well at least its not another fucking "mind-" concept I need to keep straight when writing.

I do like more Miranda focus this season-

DRI

I kind of hope we find out she's gL compatible (in retrospect, after seeing what they do to Sinclair, let’s HOPE they don’t do this)

Yaz and Val are KINGS- god Val looks so GOOD

THEY DID NOT GIVE MIGAS THE FAKE BEARD

"Are you in shape for the mission?" "Sorry no I've got a sleep paralysis demon"

WE SMUGGLING IN A BOMB?????? THEY ARE GOING TO KILL EVERYONE THIS SEASON

Time to gaslight gatekeep girlboss i know this isnt gaslighting but for the joke we are using Dri without her knowing the whole context~

Sinclair GET IN THE HOLON COME ON LETS DO IT

Henry what happened to you-

this slowly descending elevator is JUST the ironwood vault scene

INCLUDING THE SLOW HEAD TURN IM DYING THIS IS JUST RWBY V7 FINALE/V8

WHAT???? WHAT WAS THAT I DONT WANT TO REWIND TO GO BACK (this was in ref to the looming giant Holon)

can they get a better caliban voice

I DONT CARE I LOVE WELLER

I was wondering so hard about if we were going to get anymore Weller content after ep 1. WELLER AND CALIBAN FATHER SON INTERACTIONS

"for the sake of humanity, your body cannot be your own" feels like a THEME OF SORTS HMMMM...

really surprised we haven't checked in on Cammie i guess she's 100% dead then huh

So we are building a new nemesis very cool

ODIN isnt that norse

wOW nyc looks GREAT

I hate this Koala so much why is it so fucking UGLY- its name is mr. cook????

It's totally the true villain

"The HereAfter"- Jha you've joined a CULT

Oh so she just wants to stick it to Holcroft

This is some obvious Elon Musk/Jeff Bezos commentary which is not bad but I hate when shows decide to be obvious about it and don't go some way that famous books have done it with more metaphorical, impactful routes. Like either go ALL THE WAY or don't. Don't half ass this.

I have 5 minutes left I'm still like ARE WE JUST KEEPING CAMMIE DEAD

THAT WAS HORRIFYING WHAT THEYRE DOING TO SINCLAIR HOLY FUCK

Migas that is the SHITTIEST DISGUISE EVER

Oh god is Migas going to die too

wow are we going to get a fight scene finally

MIGAS IS DEAD ISNT HE FUCK

***THATS NOT CHASE***

"YEAH YEAH FOLLOW ME" IM WHEEZING

been a while since we've seen the striders or whatever they're called

chase REALLY FUCKED THIS UP FAST huh

oh are we going to parallel s1's finale of miranda jumping out of the strider with Dri jumping out of miranda's this time

VAL DONT DIE PLEASE

THAT WAS THE SHITTIEST FUCKING JUMP/BLASTED AWAY ANIMATION IVE SEEN IM DYING

oh great wait until Chase finds out who ELSE is inside that strider

YAZ?????? WHAT THE FUCK

OH THEY GOT HER OUT IN TIME THANK FUCK

"correction- WAS"

ABLE really delivering these lines im laughing so hard

worried Dri and Miranda are going to die in the bomb too and everything will go to SHIT

wow i would've thought chase would've had a bigger reaction

MIRANDA DEFECT WITH US!!!! COME ON!!!

THE FLOW IS HERE AND I DONT THINK MIRANDA'S CRACKED SHIELD HAS PROTECTION

CAMMIE!!!!!!!!!!

SHE'S BECOME FULL FURRY

ME TOO MIRANDA!!!

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

#gen:lock #gen lock #genlock #gen:lock season 2

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julethiefs · 3 years

Text

carmen sandiego as the jatp soundtrack

actually yes i am going to combine my two favorite tv shows and you can’t stop me <33

now or never

“clocks move forward // but we don't get older, no”

“keep dreaming like we’re living forever // but live it like it’s now or never”

“and even if we hit the ground, we’ll keep flying”

this song just ??? *screams* carmen right after she escaped vile... her being so excited to explore the world and not caring about falling down and her enthusiasm to stop vile without really knowing what they’re like yet... yeah

wake up

“get out, get out, relight that spark”

“its not what you lost, its what you’ll gain”

“better wake those demons, look them in the eye”

this song has such jules vibes (jules is definitely julie in this hypothetical au... even besides the names its just so perfect), and besides the fact that julia’s mom is also dead (see necklace theory) jules finding this song and singing it would be so amazing i cannot handle this

this band is back

“we gotta get ready, cause its been years”

“can you hear me” “LOUD AND CLEAR”

team red singing this band is back is something that can actually be so personal...

bright

“life is a risk, but i will take it”

“we will fight to shine together, bright forever”

“together, i think that we can make it”

do i. do i really have to say how much julethief this is. the way they shine and work well together, the way everything they do is the epitome of a risk but they do it anyways, the way together they can stop vile. yeah i’ll stop now

flying solo

“my life, my life, would be real low, zero, flying solo”

“if somebody hurts you, im going to get hurt too”

yes i know this song is julie singing to flynn. in this au its jules singing to carmen (or vice versa idk) the amount of brainrot this au can hold... nobody mention stockholm but yeah it definitely fits and just. scream.

i got the music

“weight off my shoulders, dancing instead”

“can't stop the music // back inside my soul”

i don’t even have coherent reasoning for this one i just think we should get to see jules sing this song and have player rap flynn’s parts. as a treat <3

the other side of hollywood

“we could go make history or you could rest in peace”

“everything has got a price but happiness is free”

“the rain don’t blind the rising souls // they got too much to see”

we all agree that hgc is basically vile but more dramatic and less green, right? also ive been trying to think of which of the faculty would be caleb in this au... i’m guessing countess cleo is the only one who could really pull it off well? but yeah... tr getting stuck at the hgc would be so so good and painrot

finally free

“hearts on fire // we’re no liars // so we say what we wanna say”

“i wanna fly // come alive // watch me fly”

“i got a spark in me”

“been so long, and now we’re finally free”

“now till eternity”

this is the ultimate julethief song actually i will not shut up about it (hence the excess of quotes). just !! the way its abt them not hiding anymore, “now till eternity” with “transcends space and time” ... yeah sounds like canon to me 😋 there’s so so so much quality content in this song i love it so much and just. this with julethief ???? my heart can’t handle this kind of excitement

perfect harmony

“bittersweet love story about a girl”

“two worlds collide when i’m with you”

“we come to life when we’re in perfect harmony”

yes i know this was cs as jatp songs apparently somewhere along the line it dissolved into julethief but honestly are any of us surprised ??? its just so so perfect the way the lyrics describe them is just LGSHDAFLS “two worlds collide” (acme vs jules’s personal wants/desires) “in perfect harmony” *cough cought* did anyone mention the duane interview? no ��they work in harmony even when they’re not in the same scenes” yeah practically the same thing !! (edit bc carmen pointed this out and i am screaming: perfect harmony is basically the tsonts dance scene and i cannot get over this)

edge of great

“running from the past, tripping on the now”

“what is lost can be found, its obvious”

“i believe that we’re just one dream // away from who we’re meant to be”

“we’re standing on the edge of great”

EDGE OF GREAT MY BELOVED !!! this song is SO iconic and you know whats even more iconic ??? the way it works so perfectly with carmen sandiego... carmen and jules post canon ?? 👀👀👀. i am looking at the lost/found line in particular for that but all of it works so so well (also side note but i would die if we got the classic juke nose scrunches with julethief actually)

unsaid emily

“i should have turned around // but i had too much pride”

“and write in every empty space the words “i love you” in replace”

“the words i most regret are the ones i never meant to leave // unsaid emily”

to be honest this is the song that stumped me the most? it would take a bit of canon reconfiguring- either we’re making brunt more sympathetic (ew) or carmen grew up with carlotta and then had a falling out ??? i think that would make more sense, especially with carmen trying so hard to find her again after 25 years (the timeline matches closer than expected actually 👀 ) this song is peak painrot so have fun with this besties <33

you got nothing to lose

“ain’t nothing quite like living on the edge”

“i’m chasing down a thrill, looking fit to kill”

“you got nothing to lose, boys”

this scene would be so terrifying actually like, we already got the dark!carmen trauma so watching caleb have the ability to manipulate her would just be ABSOLUTE painrot *distant screaming* also the way the offer would be so tempting to team red ?? just bc carmens whole life is living on the edge, chasing down thrills, and being unable to settle down but she stays for jules i. yeah im soft what about it

stand tall

“and it’s one, two, three, four times // i’ll try for one more night”

“whatever happens // even if i’m the last standing // imma stand tall”

“keep holding on, never look back”

“i keep going on when it’s all falling apart // yeah i know it with all my heart”

thinking thoughts... julethief post canon with this song.... yeah i would be decimated on impact just the way jules thought carmen left but CARMEN COMES BACK.... canon ? i dont know her <33

in conclusion julethief/cs jatp au supremaki besties ♥️

#carmen sandiego #you dont need to know anything abt jatp to actually read this KLSDFGDHKLFSAJ #it definitely enhances the experience though #jatp #julie and the phantoms #carulia #julethief #carmen x julia #did i just spend almost two hous on a post with a target audience of five (me included)? yes #yes i did #also i know i left out the dirty candi songs i love them so much i feel so bad but #a) i have no idea how they fit into this au yet #b) i simply do not have the energy anymore 😭#nova rambles

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theravencawsatmidnight · 3 years

Text

Rabbit iiiiiii

Ending.

Want a chapter two? Let me know!

Draco finds a Hufflepuff attempting to cheat. He torments her, keeps her under his wing becoming possessive , unsure of his feelings. After turning Reader into a Rabbit he realizes how much of an ass he was. But now hes in Azkaban for his crimes.

A/n. Okay. So i asked Multiple people. “What happens in Azkaban?” They all said “you sit in a cell.” And im sitting here like. “I cant write that.” So THIS is what i came up with. I hope its okay :/.

W! Mind games, self injury(scratching), fear of going insane, Draco gets kicked and punched around.

@khemz1312 @goofygobber @rosiehufflepuff @trashyvicks

“Cheers love”

Draco said once you vanished from his sights, he never thought the twins would help you come see him, or anyone for that matter. Of all people, he was not exactly the most loved at Hogwarts. The man looked both ways down the very long hallway not seeing anything except for darkness. At least no one would bother him while he was thinking.

He made his way back to his spot under the window to think about his actions; maybe he went a little overboard with how he handled catching you. But a teacher? That's not as fun. Draco looked down at his hands counting the cuts all over them, he had the most on his palms and around his fingers. He was very roughed up, as soon as he got here the dementors were not very kind to him. Draco blinked his eyes feeling sleepy and slightly cold. He rolled his eyes leaning back on the wall reminiscing the time he turned you into a rabbit.

You were so cute like that; so little, curious, fit right in his pocket. Dracos hands fell to his sides and his eyes started to close. You had gotten used to him when you were a rabbit…

So tired…

When he got out Draco wanted to master the spell to change humans back whenever so he could turn you into a rabbit again. If you let him of course, he laid down on his side, holding himself.

Fading….

His father.. What would he do about that? Obviously he could not take you home . Maybe a flat of his own would be better. And that shop? It made him smirk as his eyes started to close. Cute..

Footsteps could be heard and they were getting closer now. It woke Draco up from his slumber which he was not happy about. The one time he was actually getting some sleep in this place.

“Dinner already?’ he asked, in a condescending tone as he got up to rest his back against the wall. “Is it more than bread today?”

The cell opened and closed after the figure stepped in. Draco scrambled to his feet with wide surprised eyes,“..Father?”

“Not the best cell.. But it suits you.” the man said, dusting the dirt off his clothes.

“What are you doing here? Who let you in?”

“I'm here because I have unpleasant news for you.” he took off his gloves while he spoke.

“..news?” Draco stepped over to his father.

“That girl you turned into a rabbit is dead.”

“..she… shes ……….” Draco went as far as the chain would let him to his father. His ankle was straining against the cold tight cuff link. “H..ho-w…”

“Quiddich”

“What?.. But she doesn't fly! She doesn't have a broom!” the man grabbed his fathers coat shaking it, asking him multiple questions just for Lucious to throw him off and kick him away from him. Draco hit the cold brick wall on his side in the corner. He held his head trying to process this , he was hurting inside and out.

“They needed one more , and you were not there so I suggested...”

Draco glared over at his Father, who looked rather proud of himself. His hands went to his hair white knuckling them. “You…”

“She didn't last long, it was a waste.” Lucious stepped to his son grabbing his chin so he was looking at him. “And to think she would still be alive if you just left her alone”

“Its not my fault!” Draco shoved his father just for him to strike him down into the cell floor. “Get your hands off me boy, remember who your authority is. “

“Shes dead because of you!, shes.. !!! …………………..” Draco felt very cold all of a sudden, looking down he saw that his hand was fading as if it was getting sucked up by something.

“Wait.. Azkaban would never let you come into the cell…” Draco stumbled up, hitting the wall to steady himself. “They wouldn't.. Your not my father! Get out you bloody dementor!!!”

“Draco dont you know your own father?”

“Shut up! I know my father and thats not you!”

“Pity, enjoy your time here.” the figure of Lucious faded and Draco woke up in a very cold sweat. He was still laying down under the window, no one was with him in the cell and his body ached.

“Dementors.. “ slowly he got up moving to the corner to hug his knees. “Do your bloody worst, im Draco ffffffucking Malfoy.”

It won't be the last time the Dementors mess with Draco… they were determined to break him. Throughout the two years he was there you had not come to see him again except that one time the twins helped you. Draco told you now to bother the twins so you didn't. Fred and George did try to cheer you up though as much as they could. They even got a hold of Dracos old robes that they gave to you. It helped but you wanted the real thing. Him.The carrot cravings went away after a couple weeks which was nice. You did not need to carry a bag of the produce with you anymore.

Hufflepuff was still weary of you and Slytherin were still jerks. The Ravenclaws sympathized with you and you found comfort in them when you needed it. You wanted to visit him, see if he was okay. But all you could do was hope and stare out your window at the moon knowing he was looking at the same one ..

Two years later.

“You killed me”

“Shhhuut up….”

“Im dead, because of you.”

“...”

“Do you ever wonder? What could you have done differently? Acted in a more.. Reasonable way?”

“Your not .rrr.-re-al..”

“Not anymore, my time on this earth has ended. Because of you Draco”

Draco ran into the bars punching at them, blood was dripping from them now. The figure of you faded away right as he got to them to reappear in the cell next to him now. “Your not real..” he said again.

“Treated me like an animal, toyed with me..-” he swung at the dementor watching it fade away then reappear. “I was just a hufflepuff, an innocent girl.” Draco shook his head but the thoughts just got louder and louder.

“Dead”

“Gone”

“Killed”

“Stay here”

“...with me, let's be together” you held out a rotted hand to the shaking man. “Be like me”

Draco had been tormented by these dementors at least 3 times a week ever since his ‘father’ had come to see him. Day in and day out for at least 6 hours a day a dementor came to him as you to try to get Draco to crack.

The first time he almost fell for it, but he quickly realized it was not you. You were not a crying mess trying to touch him and you could not float….

But still seeing your figure hurt him, your body was made to look dead to cause even more damage to the man which it did. All he could do was endure and think about you, the real you. It was all he had to hold on to. He told himself when he spent his first night here that he would be okay, he would make it out fine.

But now hes crying on the floor at least twice a week with new bruises, cuts, and a giant headache. He fully knew how awful he was to you now, he had to apologize properly. That motivated him to fight, along with keeping you safe from his father. He would get out, he would be okay.

“...b-b-b-e like you?”

“Yes Draco, like me. Lets be together, lets get out of here.”

“Get .. out..”

“Yes , lets get-”

“No, you get out. Get out of my cell, get out of my head just GET OUT!, ill never go with you! Your not real and your NOT HER!” he stepped back, tripping over his feet and grabbing the cell bars to steady himself. His clothes by now were tattered and his dirty dark blond hair was in a pony tail. The cuts on his face turned to scars and his nails were bloody from him scratching at his itchy skin . Everytime he swung at the dementor it would fade out leaving traces of itself on the man making him freak out and scratch at his own skin till they turned purple.

The dementor faded through the bars down the hallway and Draco sunk down to his knees scratching at his arms trying to free himself of the lingering black smoke.

“Rabbit… “ Draco choked in a big breath glancing over at the small window to see the moon shining in on him. “Ill get out.. Ill be okay. We will be okay……………………….”

A few days later a man had come to Dracos cell. He unlocked the old door letting it swing open. The man stepped to the side gesturing to the hallway and Draco looked up from his hand to see Snape looking in at him.

“Hurry up, its filthy in here.”

“How is she….”

“Why don't you see for yourself? Do i look like a owl?”

“More like an over dramatic snake.” Draco slowly got up limping to his old professor who helped steady him.

“Im glad your okay, Malfoy.”

Draco rolled his shoulders and cracked his very purple bloody knuckles. “Of course i am”

Meanwhile, those two years you had graduated and opened up your own shop with the help of Fred and George. They pulled some strings and found an empty building you could sell potions in. it was a small building but you liked it.

The Wet Nose it was called. With little bunny decorations all over the inside and on the sign, the sign was your favorite. It had a little bunny looking over the sign with its ears down. You tried to make it apparent you were here so Draco could find you.. All you could do was wait now..

Draco had left Azkaban with Snape , showered, eaten , and dressed in real clothes. He was in clean black pants with a matching suit top with awhite shirt underneath and black shoes. His face was still heavily scared and his knuckles were starting to slowly heal. The scratches on his arms would not heal though. They would stay that way for a really long time. He worried if you would still want him like this. He also kept his hair long , just past his neck he liked it. Draco was not completely free of the dementors, he could still hear them in his head from time to time. Whispering things for him to come back and what not. He always had to shake his head and they would go away for the time being.

Snape had dropped him off at Diagon Alley as he requested. Before he left he got out of the car to give Draco one final word.

“Malfoy”

“What? Which way am i going?”

The man rolled his eyes and pulled Draco in for a one arm hug, even though draco loathed this. The poor man fought and cursed, slipping free of this unwanted affection.

“The bloody hell was that?”

“Go down this way, on the left.”

“Fantastic but what was-” he slapped him on the head.

“Oww!!! What gives?”

“Thats, for barging into my classroom.” and with that he left.

“Barging into my classroom” mocked the man fixing his hair.

Draco wasted no time getting to your shop. He found it easily and just stared at the sign. He was scared. Terrified, would you still want him… you said you would wait for him.. But.. the way he looks. He shook his head, making the dementors stop. “No. she will, she waited all this time. She will.”

Ring ring!! The bell on the door went off once Draco opened the door. The first thing that got his attention was the many smells coming from all over the room. All the windows were open with plants sitting in them . He had to make his way to the back where the register was, passing all types of potions a variety of colors. When he finally went to it he saw a little brown rabbit sitting on the counter wiggling its nose. The rabbit tilted its head at Draco and the man did the same.

“Biscuit? Is someone here? And you didn't ring them up you silly animal” you joked coming from the back room up to the counter.

You looked up from the rabbit to see Draco standing there, his smile slumped and he had his mouth half open. He was in awe. It was really you. The real you. Quickly he fixed himself and his smile went all the way up his face, the man stepped closer with a happy, relieved tone.

“Hey, Rabbit”

#draco 😤#draco x hufflepuff reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #.RabbiyFic

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